One of the most tedious ideas in dating advice is the idea of 'nice guys finish last' and 'girls love bad boys.' It's a truism that never seems to fully go away- the idea that women love assholes and will pick them over the self described nice guys.
One of the biggest mistake people make is assuming that it's asshole behavior that makes bad boys appealing.
Now to be fair, it is an understandable mistake to make. Guys who are frustrated by their lack of dating success often look at the singular causes for their failure especially when it feels as though they've been following the path that society and pop-culture had told them to follow.
Instead, what makes bad boys more attractive is the behavior that tends to exist alongside the more negative traits. It's not the asshole behavior that makes the bad boys attractive- it's what they do that nice guys DON'T.
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a shy nice guy has a crush on an attractive woman. He spends weeks trying to tell if she likes him back. Then...after days of building up his courage he makes his move.
That, of course, is when he discovers that she's dating someone else. Not, mind you, because being an asshole is attractive but because they didn't hesitate.
The problem for so many nice guys is that they are afraid of rejection. They refuse to make an approach until they are 110% sure they'll succeed. They'll dress it up in any number of excuses- they want to wait until the moment is right, they don't want to make it weird- but it all comes down to the same problem problem: they don't want to take the risk of getting hurt.
Meanwhile, some asshole whose interest starts at the cleavage amd ends at her crotch rolls up on her, and while the asshole may as well not be as good of a match for her as the dogged nice guy, he still is the one who actually asked.
The asshole may not like her as much, but he actually took his shot. The nice guy doesn't get a chance because, frankly he never got in the game in the first place.