A Real Guy Should be Able to Take 'No' for an Answer...

[Anonymous]

A real guy or a gentleman would respect your decision if you don't want to be with them. It's better for them to know, then both of you to be emotionally invested in the relationship.

A guy who I met last year, through a mutual friend. We first talked on fb and I made it clear to him that I have no interest in having a boyfriend at the moment. The only reason I said that because he seem to desperate and I felt no chemistry, attractions or butterflies whatsoever.

Stupidly I went to meet him as a friend, but soon realised it was not a friend thing. It was a date and he was totally shy and standing over me. So I cut it short.

Long story short, I felt bad and still kept in contact when he messaged me. But he still insisted on taking me out to a very well known romantic building. So I decided to tell him that I don't want to get his hopes up and it's better for him to find someone who likes him and I don't want to waste our time and because he was really rude a dispensing controlling.

He did not take it well and seemed upset. He said he loved me after we met up like 3 times. Then he always texted me a few days later and acted like I never said anything which became so unbearable. He even waited for me after work and sent me anonymous chocolates at work.

He kept contacting me on all social media so I decided to block him and he sent me an audio begging me. Then he got really rude and starting sending me rude texts and making his friends send me fb messages asking if I were single.

I learned that he lied a lot to make me feel sorry for him. Since last May I stopped all contact and until this year in January I finally got the pressure off that I needed and hopefully he stops.

So I don't understand why he would not take no for an answer. He should have been happier that I did not string him along and waste our time.

[JayParris]

Classic narcissistic behavior (not diagnosing him as a narcissist). You dodged a huge bullet.

Him agreeing to meet up and turning it into a date was manipulative, and the shy thing was undoubtedly an act (a shy man wouldn't stand over you).

Ignoring the fact that you said you weren't interested is an early form of gaslighting, trying to subtly convince you that it never happened.

Once he realised that his tactics wouldn't work, he tried to punish you for hurting his ego, hoping to get a reaction.

These are all just games that little boys play because they never learned that the world doesn't revolve around them. Every bit of this is just him trying to get his way like a child who wants an ice cream cone and his mommy said no. "PLEEEEEEEASE" "I love you, mommy" "mommy, can I have it, please?" (pretending he never asked and therefore she never said no)... and then the fit ensues... Its the exact same behavior, and in children, it's called Primary Narcissism

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for sharing your opinion. That is exactly what happened. He is very manipulative. Once I stopped con tact he would wait outside of my work and pretend to be his mum of fb messenger. He always wanted me to comment on his looks and one time I said I was hanging out with my friend I know from school and he said why should I hang out with her. That was the final strawberries. Yeah he is a narcissist

[CalmDownSilly]

Omg wow!

[Anonymous]

It's a thing that every person should do.
Unfortunately there are a lot of pushy/manipulative people out there.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah he is very manipulative

[NineBreaker]

It's not just a "gentleman" thing; It's a "decent person" thing, but I speculate that maybe more men tend to behave that way. I think a lot of people are brought up to consider persistence to be a virtue, which it is. Some people unfortunately confuse persistence with obsession. There is a difference, and that dude might now know that. Based on what you're saying, he may be exhibiting stalker behavior, which is the most alarming element in all of this.

Personally, I'm the kind of guy where if I get rejected, I move on and away completely and immediately. I think it's OK to try again, just one more time, but only after some time has passed, because the person's situation might change down the line, and may be more accepting of a chance to give you a shot. Personally, I have never done that, but I think it's OK.

However, even if after the second time, it's a rejection, at that point the right thing is to move on completely. I think this guy decided to put himself in your friendzone in hopes that he could convince you to be in a relationship with him. The way it played out in what you've said seems absolutely pathetic to me.

[BiggerNotBetter]

@ninebreaker I applaud your approach and agree it's best to move on. However, a friend of mine was being pursued by some guy and she kept on telling him "no," but he didn't slow down a bit, even after she hung up on him. They've now been married for over 30 years. And my daughter kept telling some guy "no," but they've been married for only three years. For all too many women, "no" means "maybe," and men take advantage of that. Based on my own personal experience, I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for sharing your opinion. His mother introduced us and said we should be friends as we're the same age. I made sure with her if it's a friend thing, as she knew at that time I been through an awful situation with this pervy guy who hurt me.

So when I first talked wother her son on fb, I made sure all the time I said we can be friends. Then he said to me stop saying friends. It took a month on fb before I met him. In person he seem shyou and awkward. But on fb he than became really rude and keeps lying to me. He is very manipulative and said he had learning difficulties, which I thought ok. Then gave him a chance. Then I found out he was lying. I did tell him so many times I don't want a relationship and he kept ignoring me and texting me like nothing happened. This gave me anxiety. I feel so relieved to have the space I needed now. So I can move on

[theharlequin]

As a guy who has taken 'no' for an answer many times, I can say this:

9 times out of 10, when a guy takes no for an answer and moves on, the girl will suddenly decide she likes him, come chasing after him, and figuratively scream 'How can you be OK without me?'

And after she throws her temper fits and he's still accepting 'no' for an answer, she feels rejected, and she and all of her friends spread among the local female population how much of a jerk he is for rejecting and hurting her, playing the victim of her own 'no.' This isn't theory. This is a detailed description of several events from my own life.

The fact is, 'no' from a woman can mean no, try harder, yes, or any combination of those, and men aren't mind readers. In your story, you should never have kept contact with him or gone out with him once you realized it wasn't just friendship. PERIOD. All you did was give him an indication that 'no' didn't really mean 'no.'

[myTake Owner]

Yes, but I only met him 3 times. Then told him from the beginning that I did not want him. Then I cut all contact, I did not realise after I did that he would try and try for 9 months

[myTake Owner]

Everytime I tried. He keeps making me the bad one saying I think he's ugly and I don't like him. He just turning it on me.

[theharlequin]

Yes, that kind of obsessive behavior and shaming after you were very clear it wasn't welcome is bad on his part. I should have stated that before.

But as far as you making it clear from the beginning, telling a guy you're not interested then going out, etc., is sending mixed signals. Here's one example from my life:

[theharlequin]

A few years ago, I spent a full year pursuing a girl who *said* she just wanted to be friends but gave clear indications she thought of me as more. After a year, I pushed her for a response, and during a very long and civil conversation, she explained to me that she didn't have feelings for me and that she didn't think she ever would. She did, however, express that she wanted to be friends.

[theharlequin]

I cut my losses, and kindly told her that I'd accept her rejection, but that I wasn't interested in being just friends with her. At first, she said she was OK with that, but within a week without receiving my attention, she started trying to reassert herself in my life, even interfering with my pursuit of other girls. She even threw herself at a jock and threw him in my face for weeks trying to make me jealous. None of that worked, so she then felt brokenhearted and rejected. Now I’m the bad guy with her and her friends, and after 4 years, she’s still pining over me and trying to find a way to reignite the flame that she herself extinguished.

[theharlequin]

That all began as ‘I told him from the beginning that I wasn’t interested.’ And that’s only one of several similar cases I’ve personally experienced, so it’s definitely something guys have to contend with. Girls aren’t to blame for guys’ actions, but they certainly don’t make it easy to interpret when ‘no’ means ‘no’

[myTake Owner]

That is strange. Maybe sometimes people want a guy or girl that is hard to get. Maybe she did like you or felt comfortable with you and when you did not give her attention she rearise you can move on. Or maybe she felt you would always be their until when she's ready.

[myTake Owner]

I am 25, I know many people my age settle down. But athe the time as well I did not want to commit. I could of led him on but I did not, he wanted to take me to an expensive building in London. But I refused and broke it to him gently. No way I am letting him pursue me and bribe my feelings with money.

[myTake Owner]

I understand what your saying. What you said sounds she doesn't know what she wants. I never changed my mind.

[magicpat237]

This is true.

I was recently dating a woman for close to 2 months. I really liked her and I wanted to make our relationship exclusive. When I asked her about it she said she didn't know how she felt about me. Fast forward 2 weeks later and she told me that she did not want to pursue a relationship at this time. While disappointing to hear, I had to accept her decision. I have great respect for her since she had the guts to tell me her true honest feelings about me and not string me along. Hopefully we can still be friends.

This guy you're talking to needs to realize that you can't suddenly convince someone to come back to you. He should try looking at it this way and tell himself that at least he can stop wasting money on dates when it really wasn't going anywhere.

[myTake Owner]

Glad you accepted her decision, even though itshe not whate you wanted. In life you want both of you to love eachother the same. Glad you guys are friends

[tommi22]

Great advice from NineBreaker and TiMoreDei!
Your kindness was unfortunately mistaken as a "girl playing hard to get" ploy by a emotionally unstable man.
The more you are out in the dating world the more of these guys you will meet. So, my best advice to you is to not burden yourself with so much anxiety. Yes, his feelings were hurt... but did you cause that? Absolutely not! Please check out Dr. Wayne Dyer's "Your Erroneous Zones." The book was a real eye opener for me. You might still be able to access the entire book for free on You Tube.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you. I will not in the future think of their feelings as that a trapped to lure me back

[mattai787]

Guys are different. I agree, this guy should have stopped asking/troubling you once you made it clear to him. Then again, you have guys who wouldn't have the guts to confront you! There is variety in everything, different people behave differently.
I had a crush on a marathi girl in college, but I knew threw our whatever small interactions that she'd never be interested in me and that she was already dating. I forgot about her and moved on! I didn't trouble her one bit, I don't think she would even know whether I had a crush on her?
Did I do the right thing? I don't know? Some people would say yes some would say no. But it doesn't really matter to me, I'm happy that she's happy.. It doesn't necessarily have to be for her to end up with me. If she's happy with someone else - that's cool too.. That's cause its her life..

[YHL6965]

Why do so many women think guys don't know what "no" is. Only sick rapists and manipulators don't know this and they are a minority. It's like saying all men are killers because some men are serial killers.

[myTake Owner]

This is going way off topic. That your opinion, but I don't think all men are killers. Those sickos who does those crime does not give any option to sayou no.

[YHL6965]

That' not my point, my point is still on how "a real guy should be able to take no for an answer" is kind of an exaggeration. Normal people know what "no" means, you can't blame normal people for the bad deeds of sick people.

[My99legend]

I agree. This guy hardly seems normal. I wouldn't label him as a real man...

[myTake Owner]

Yeah I understand what you mean, yes he is not normal. A normal guy would understand a no. This guy is a stalker and possessive. So yes he should not be in a category of real men or guys in genreal that is normal.

[YHL6965]

Exactly, this guy has a problem.

[ANK360]

i like these type of girls who know they dont want to get into relationship and they say it directly , why not cause you saved a lot of time !!

meanwhile there are some girls who just say No and then when you take No and look for another Hot girl around cause you know you gonna get it then they gonna come from the blue and make call , try to talk to you etc. etc. and when they get break up they gonna contact you as well for such GIRLS , Here me up if someone just texted you better analyze him he might be fully into you rather than just being a fuck boy who won't get back to you after he gets into you the real men would wait for more longer time than you think to go down for physical cause he loves your soul not your body ! yeah make sure you girls check history of guys who"s hitting on you
Tip- looking for long term safe relationships date Average looking guys they gonna treat you well ! similar to Queen if chemistry is good

[Chaoseverywhere]

Agree...
if you knew he was desperate and went to meet him as a friend...
then shut him down... he'll got over it. Hopefully, learn to make a better first impression next time.

So take that NO!! For your own good.
Learn. Educate.
Cry a bit... it's ok... there's probably just dust in your eyes... Don't forget the lesson learned

[myTake Owner]

Yes lessoned learn. It took me 9 months to say no to him over and over again

[Chaoseverywhere]

He might too! and better himself :) In the end. It strangely sounds like you did him a favor IF he learned from his mistakes... this is a situation of 2wrongs made right? :/

[myTake Owner]

True. But he knew what he did. He lied he had learning difficulties after I told him I want to be friends, then it was a lie. Then he said his friend dI'd a few years ago that why he's lonely and need someone to talk to all night. Then after some digging I asked more questions he admitted he's not lonely and does talk to friends online. He has loads of friends. He kept saying I was like his ex as she was not interested in him. He used to moan a lot and take things out on me and his mother told him off. Then he pretend to be his mother on fb in order to talk to me and threatened me. He is very manipulative and he used his friends who really had learning difficulties to contact me on fb too. His mother is worser. I glad both of them out of my life

[myTake Owner]

He won't learn.

[Chaoseverywhere]

he'll learn to MANIPULATE/lie better? :)

well glad you got out, sounds annoying af. Just lies to get whatever he wants. Reminds me of my younger angrier self... I never did it to score girls tho. Maybe i did? but this guys seems like a more crazier/obsessed version, probably some mental disorder (you said his mum is worser? passed it down to him prob)

[Chaoseverywhere]

It seems like he does have some disorder (normal guys don't act like this).
Then dw about it, he has don't give fucks say whatever he wants. Most people (men) here will probably judge you... cos they don't understand how this kind of person thinks... he seems very malicious and manupilative (I'm like him so i know years ago, but much nicer :) ). That's why it lasted 9 months, so no need to feel bad (I know you're not, and you shouldn't). Not your fault at all.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you. It's good that you worked on it. I blocked him now. I thought he had learning difficulties, but his mum told me a different story. Either one lied, but yeah like you said it should not matter anymore. His mum is aggressive and kept telling me to talked to him again. But I learn to stop talking to her and him made it better. As if I were to talked to her she would still push and push.

[Chaoseverywhere]

I'd go as far to say that you were the victim. Not him. YES/NO doesn't matter. Will end up bad for you and usually for him too (not always).

Lesson here i think is : "Evil" takes many forms. Can look desperate/harmless. Normal sometimes. "nice guys" even but unlikely. "badboy" too. But you learned all his tricks.
so unless you meet a more HARDCORE version, all good.

this guy manipulating is "amatuer level". Should see what some people out there can do (donald trump/hilary)

[myTake Owner]

Thanks. Yes your right you can't tell nowadays. The nice ones nowadays are the one that keep saying they are not are the ones to watch out to me. I keep meeting the wrong people, especially his mum and people in the past. I always get hurt. Someone told me I attract the wrong people because I seem naive and vulnerable.

[Chaoseverywhere]

In their mind their intentions are sometimes good, believe it or not. They do not wake up to try and hurt you. Their mind plays a funny "trick" and says hey that girl's so vulnerable, I MUST help her. Lie = i LIE for her own good. You say NO, they think "she doesn't know what she's missing out on, i must do everything to protect her". etc. That's why. :/ :/ :/ confused yet? because noone wants to be seen as the "bad/evil". =)

[myTake Owner]

That is true. As he said he want to help me, but threw it in my face when I said no then said sorry. As I been assaulted in the passed. His mother told him😑. Also he keeps saying in a rude way I am
Gonna miss him. Which I don't as I feel relieved now. But still see his mum who makes me uncomfortable

[Chaoseverywhere]

Wow you agree with everything I said, even though I told you I was like similar to him LOl.

-Sorry if I "manipulated" you, don't think i did. Just trying to make you understand his thought process so next time you'll end it earlier/avoid completely the next time you run into another. You prob walk past 10 a day, just they're more controlled.

**MIND BLOWN**

-Dime-store psychoanalysis guy

[myTake Owner]

Least your honest about it and not sugar coating things. You seem understanding. Are you sure your like him? Lol

[10dsw]

A 'real' woman on the other hand should not be hanging out with a guy whom she knows is into her out of pity for him.

I'm not excusing this guy's behavior- it's pathetic - but this is 50% your fault as well.

[EvilPimp]

I wish i could upvote this 1,000 times!

[10dsw]

@EvilPimp Haha thanks. I just think it's important to see things objectively and not subjectively

[Chaoseverywhere]

@EvilPimp @10dsw

That's is correct. But 50% is kinda hash because she's victimized here. Dw she didn't write it in the Mytake. That's what i thought too.

In this case, she is a "vulnerable" person, his personality masked his "malicious/manipulative" side, that's why it took her 9months to finally end it or maybe he decided to move onto another person. The "vulnerable" person normally ends up worst.
Luckily there wasn't too much damage this time.

Vulnerable people generally attract these types, i don't know why (by being easily manipulated that's why?). Hopefully, she will now become more of a "real" woman... I hope she can avoid it next time by learning from this experience, she said she can, maybe, I know she's less vulnerable... but sometimes you just can't escape.
He's "amateur" at best (keeps getting caught lying). Imagine if it was Hitler level manipulation shit going on :)

***MIND FUCKED MYSELF?***

[10dsw]

@Chaoseverywhere Well... victimized... I don't know. Let's be fair here... in light of 'equality'... She was inadvertently leading him on which is victimizing him too. I think they're both completely unprepared for dating and I totally agree that a lot of these relationships stem from co-dependent personalities attracting each other

[Chaoseverywhere]

lol well the ending is from her POV,

she blocked him. He then says "you'll miss me and comeback" or something like that. His mother is similar to him. She said she feels uncomfortable around her. But then says she still visits her...

Some weird "force" is drawing her towards these people. She talks about the guy like he's trash, says nononononono, but it took 9 months... and she still visits the mother after this event.

I honestly don't know if he decided to let her go, or did she grew "balls" to make a stand.

[10dsw]

@Chaoseverywhere I know dude... I feel like there's always 5,000 other variables to these stories... because they never make any tangible sense

[myTake Owner]

I did not date him for 9 months. It took 9 months of me saying no to him, I blocked him and changed the store I worked in. I met him in February last year and still met him, but at that time I said friends. Then I finally stop seeing him in May. He refused to accept, kept calling and waiting outside my work. Then it took from may till janunary this year for him to let me go. But I am not checking my spam as I don't know he text me still. For your information his mum is my co worker. We became close what I thought was 'friends', but nowe I moved store. But I see her once a week now. She keeps spying on my phone last week and she keeps putting her coat over mine. Maybe snooping on me

[myTake Owner]

9 months of anxiety of getting him to leave me alone. Ifor I date him for 9 months, I would have been really trapped

[myTake Owner]

First I did not want to hurt his mother feeling. But his mother became also childish with me. She gets annoyed if I taliked to this guy and not her at work, saying he's not your friend she is. Then whenad I stopped walking out with her after work she got angry with me. Also if I don't go lunch with her she told me off and gave me the dirtiest look

[Chaoseverywhere]

The mother sounds creepy as fuck... this is not even close to normal... like a bit "psycho"... if you move stores, that's good... hope you don't bump into them again.
Who does this shit? do you feel safe? :/

[myTake Owner]

@Chaoseverywhere they are both psychos indeed. I feel less stressed now at this store. But his mother comes once a week. So I ask my manager for hols for that day she's is. Everytime she's there puts her coat over mine twice when there space. I donthink trust her at all. I am leaving this job soon. So can't wait. I don't want to see her. Also whensure I was on lunch I felt someone eyes on me and turned around and she was staring at me

[myTake Owner]

I feel alright. But feel better when I leave soon

[Chaoseverywhere]

wow... that's creepy... ok good to hear...

[10dsw]

They are both psychos, sure. Regardless however, your fault is not in any way excused. There are options for women like you - blocking persons on all social media, letting your manager know what's going on, and even getting the police involved if you believe this man is stalking you. And as a mature woman, it is YOUR duty to use these tools for your safety... as opposed to hanging out with this guy out of pity for him and his mother. Like I said, this is still 50% your fault, regardless of what society otherwise tells you.

[myTake Owner]

I did say I regretted it. I have been sexually assaulted before and the police does not do anything to help. So it's just so stressful going through that process. So when this guy did not leave alone, my family said involve the police as ithe sounds like harassment. But I took the initiative to move stores and block him and I don't see him now. Just recently only say his friend that came in myour other store i was in and he looked at me than walked out. Now moving I feel safe. Luckily he does not know where I live. Yes I do regret and blame myself for giving him time and should of went with my instinct

[myTake Owner]

His mum is really rude she talks degrading about people behind their backs, once told me a lady at work has a rat face and does the face expression and when people turn their backs she pretends to kick them and she says she does not trust this or that person. But she's the one that is two faced

[Chaoseverywhere]

Looks like things are turning around then. I still blame him MUCH more than you lol, but you know what, a change of scenery will do you good.

It's kinda funny/stupid/spooky/retarded/psycho all at once. this entire situation.
The next guy that pulls this shit.. i bet you'll slay him.
In this case the title should be "a psycho should be able to take no for answer" haahahaa

[myTake Owner]

@Chaoseverywhere haha it should be. He should not be in that category of real guys. I just need to change jobs really, which I will do soon. As I got a new job now.

[CalmDownSilly]

Have you gotten a restraining order against either of them?

[myTake Owner]

@CalmDownSilly if it was to continue further i would. My family said it was harassment and should call the police. But now I am leaving soon. They won't know where I am going, so hopefully they won't keep tabs on me ano I won't cross path with them.

[Anonymous]

Mental illness. I have experience with this but in a much more extreme case. you were right to cut him off but you can never initiate contact with him again or it starts over. You should not have met him in the first place and I'm sure you would do it differently now.

[myTake Owner]

Yes I will do, thanks. Now I stopped contact I won't give in. As that the wrong thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I know that type of guy, he is in love, but it will pass eventually, though, not so quickly, some guys like him can stay in love for 5-7 years, sometimes even longer, but don't worry, after a while, he will fall in love in some other girl. Guys like that are too shy, they are not capable of achieving a relationship... most of them remain single their entire life, or try to harm themselves, which eventually leads to hospitalization, or worse. All you can do is pity him.

[myTake Owner]

I hope he was not in lover with me

[myTake Owner]

Love

[Hal2002]

Most guys would have backed off, I myself prefer a female like you. I would rather be told the truth upfront no matter how bad it hurts my ego, than to be strung along by someone trying not to hurt my feelings.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for understanding. Yes that what I thought was best to tell him upfront, then waste both of our time.

[Bluemax]

Very well put.

I would like to ask that guy what, if anything, did he learn. Obviously I can't.

So I'm going to ask you, anonymous. What, if anything, did you learn from this ordeal (which I'm sorry you had to go through)?

[myTake Owner]

I learned not to go and meet someone who wanted to date me and I was not wanting a relationship from. That's my regret giving him the time of day. Also when I say no, I should leave it like that instead of replying back to him. As when I did I felt trapped and he smart because he knew how to make me sorry for him. Also kearney not everyone is nice.

[myTake Owner]

Learned

[myTake Owner]

If you asked him he probably pretend he does not understand 😕

[myTake Owner]

Lol 😕

[Bluemax]

I'm sorry it had to be learned that way, but at least the lesson didn't go unnoticed.

[myTake Owner]

I always seemed to learned the hard way by guys

[Bluemax]

Well, may your next lesson be one in tenderness and love, and your next burden no heavier than a good man's arms around you.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you. I hope I found someone

[JDavid25]

Aw yeah he was outta pocket.. He should have just back off.. I don't think he should try and get another girl.. Just work on himself, and his self confidence..

[myTake Owner]

He was really confidence. If I did not compliment his haircut, he got really angry. Also was surprised I did not fancy him. I do agree with you on that he should work on himself. Also he kept taking things out on me, even his mother told him off.

[JDavid25]

Well, that doesn't sound like confidence but more like feelin cocky through validation.. He felt good based on people tellin him he looks good.. If he were really confident he would have been like "Well, looks like this one don't like me, onto somebody who does".. LOL.. And yeah he definitely does.. And wow..

[myTake Owner]

He definitely has no game, my friend saw his pics and said no don't meet him straight away as she said he's definitely not attractive. To be honest I think only his mother give him the validation. He is really corky and he had loads of singing video on fb and it was not good. I was surprised that no one in his family told him to take the video down. That why he's like that as they lie to him to make him feel better and thanks he's all that.

[myTake Owner]

Thanks for sharing your opinion aswell

[JDavid25]

Yeah he apparently don't have no game.. LMAO.. But, yeah maybe his fam does blow his head up, and makes him think higher of himself than he should.. Or maybe it's just really coverin up some insecurities that even his family can't patch up.. And him clingin onto you was just him showin that he can't get girls easily.. Lol.. But no problem 8)..

[myTake Owner]

Yeah that is true. He had a girlfriend for like 3 years. But he said she used him for the money and he said he was bullied. He is really insecure I think, as well enough we went out. These guys were saying compliment at me and he looked upset and he kept saying that I will leave him for better. But I was not dating him

[myTake Owner]

His mother was the worst, he learned from her. And she does understandable put him up on a pedestal

[JDavid25]

Wow well that would do it.. But, I think at the end of the day he just acted like a normal clingy boyfriend.. It's just that you didn't like him and he was persistent.. Which is a good quality when done right, and he didn't use it right.. :P..

[myTake Owner]

If there waare chemistry then it would work out different. But with that side of him, no wonder his ex found him repetitive. To me he seemed like a boy than a man

[JDavid25]

Yeah true.. There does need to be chemistry, or at least attraction to start it off.. But, maybe his ex made him like that.. LOL.. But yeah he does need to work on himself.. Feel better about himself, not look for validation, and not take rejection so hard..

[myTake Owner]

True that😊

[Anonymous]

This is why I never interact with women or acknowledge them unless they make the 1st move blatantly, I have no interest in female friends whatsoever he's the type of sucker male who falsely , stupidly hopes for women to like him, he stupidly believes the societal brainwashing BS that if he pursues women he will be rewarded he doesn't understand that there's virtually NO value in having a female as a friend or even pursuing one this would've never happened to me only suckers beg for female attention. Men are too overly interested in females I've seen too many dumb ass guys so desperate and thirsty to have female friends (I mean who needs them anyway?) or to date

[cth96190]

I can take a no.
That was the response to about 99 per cent of my approaches, until I gave up on women. 🤣

[Anonymous]

>The only reason I said that because he seem to desperate and I felt no chemistry, attractions or butterflies whatsoever.

You could've been honest about this to him from the beginning.

Said that, it's true he's not entitled to force you into dating him, same way you're not entitled to pity him with comforting friendship in order not to feel guilty. Rejection causes pain and it's better to be honest about it, especially if you believe others should be able to take "no" for answers.

[myTake Owner]

I did tell him at the beginning so many times. We talked on fb for a month before we met. But I regret ever meeting him. His mother introduced us, with his interest in heart. She knew he was manipulative and rude

[prettywithpassion]

Okay, so, my best guy friend really really likes our mutual friend and she told me she just wants to be friends with him. I told him that and he was really upset. Now, he keeps telling me things she'll do and he'll ask me "Is this a sign she might like me? Does this mean anything?"

Is he just being a hopeful person with a crush or is he being an asshole who can't take no for an answer. He's really bothering me and I don't know if my frustration is justified.

[Anonymous]

That's sad, was he that ugly? If so, then he will probably end up like me (I'm a virgin in my late 30s, never been in a relationship, never had a kiss).
Unlike him, I'm too shy and I always waited for a girl to make the first move. Unfortunately, we live in patriarchal society, so... assertive and dominant women are very rare, that's why men like me usually live and die single and lonely.

[myTake Owner]

Don't worry. I know what you mean girls do wait for the guys to make the first move. Yes my friend said he was, but it's not about looks for me

[xxRedRosexx]

I agree!
Everyone should know what NO means- not saying all guys are like this, but some are.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah some guys are accepting