8 Dating Deal Breakers Every Guy Should Have

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away

1 - Cell phone usage

Taking selfies, browsing, texting and making non-emergency calls when you are with someone is disrespectful even when they aren't buying you dinner.

2 - Talking about exes

You're there to be with that person, not obsess over someone else. Also, running an ex down makes guys wonder what you'll be saying about us, and waxing poetic over him shows you really are ready to move on.

3 - Talking over the other person, changing the subject, not listening or being dismissive

You're there to get to know each other, and communication should be going both ways without derailing. Having someone interrupt, change subjects, not know what you were saying or just wave you off means they not only weren't interested in what you had to say, they weren't interested in you enough to show you the most basic courtesy.

4 - Bad manners

Being polite and respectful not only to your date, but to those around your date, is a must as we are known by the company we keep and therefore we reflect upon our date. Using cell phones or electronics in movies, cussing, or otherwise being a disturbance to others is just embarrassing. Your date should not have to apologize for you.

5 - Being rude

People who treat others poorly to impress someone or because they feel it is acceptable not only reflect poorly on their company, they also tend to inevitably unleash their behaviors on their company once they are no longer trying to impress.

6 - Entitlement

Expecting everything without having earned anything is disrespectful of the other person. If someone takes the time to do something for you without strings attached, either take it gratefully or don't take it at all.

7 - Flirting with other people

If you are with someone, be with them. I actually knew a girl who went to sit with another man she didn't know to share drinks with him while she was on a date, and then chase her date down to ask her why he left her there.

8 - Expecting a ride home on the first three dates

Until you get to know someone, you are looking for reasons to weed them out. Nothing is more awkward than sharing an after goodbye forever ride home in the same car.


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Most Helpful Girls

  • I agree with all but 2 and 8. 2 because if you've been in a long term relationship, you will say something about the ex at some point. But there's a difference between constantly bashing them (or showing you're still in love) and mentioning them on occasion.
    8 because if a guy has a car he will offer to pick you up.

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    • Nah. Dont mention exes. The moment a girl mention her ex I will leave. Of course in a long term relationship its fine to bring it up if its relevant. But at the beggining stages shut the fuck up about them. Its a buig turn off and huge red flag.

      If she is 18 years old or older she is a grown women and can get around herself. She is not a child that needs to be carreid around. I will pick her up if its more convinient, but if not she can handle it herself.

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    • @wolfcat87 I've met people who mentioned an ex before the first date

    • I'd draw a line between mentioning them, and talking about them. Things come up sometimes, but you're there to get to know each other, not each other's past paramours. As to #8, I stand by that one very strongly, and not just for the sake of the men. If things go horrible, men can either endure the long ride taking her home, shell out cab fare, or abandon her to whatever fate walking a dark road might bring. Sure, he'll have been the last one with her, but women still get the short end of the stick not having transportation to meet someone who they don't know (and with three or less dates in the age of online dating, you don't know them). Women can either try to bite the bullet by asking for an unbearable ride home and hope he doesn't dump her there, try to convince him to give he cab fare, pay her own cab fare if she has money, or be the lone lady walking those dark, empty roads by herself. Why would you do, much less advise, that at any point? Be responsible, be safe, think ahead.

  • I agree with the rest but the last one is not bad. I don't expect someone to drive me back home but i appreciate it a lot. No matter if it is a friend or a date it's a nice gesture. I mean if i had a license i would offer my date a ride home. You said you are a person that doesn't like to be rude and appreciates bad manners and giving someone (anyone, not particularly your date) a ride home, especially if it's night (since it's not very safe at that hour) is a polite gesture

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    • A woman should have her own ride home, and we are all responsible for ourselves. A man who takes a girl out for a decent dinner, drinks and a movie is already shelling at least $60+ for her to have a free night of fun with what should be no strings attached. Expecting her to be able to show up and leave on her on so as to avoid potential awkward situations is not being rude, nor is it bad manners. Rather, expecting a man to function as a taxi service via a "but I have no way to get home" guilt trip is VERY bad manners, and in direct opposition to #6 as well. Frankly, equal is going dutch and each coming on their own, but manners dictate that whoever invites typically will pay unless otherwise stated, so a man paying can be overlooked. However, I stand firmly by #8 for the sake of both the man's wellbeing and the woman's. The right to bail on a bad situation can even be a safety issue, and most people will not know their partner at all before the third date.

    • I made it clear that "I don't expect someone to drive me back home". It is a nice thing to do for ANYONE, date or friend. I also don't think i mentioned the guy to pay for all the drinks, movies etc. I personally date guys i know, for example friends of friends and i like grabbing a couple of beers and talking or go for coffee with them. I am a uni student and i like simple dates like that and we both pay what we got. Then if he has a car he drives me back and he also mist probably picked me up to go to the date as well (not because he is a man but because he is the only person out of both of us that has a car if i had a car i would be the one to do it) and we give a nice goodnight kiss and part ways. I don't get what's wrong with it, it is a nice gesture to ANYONE I repeat

Most Helpful Guys

  • I disagree with #8- if I ask a woman out on a date, I will pick her up and bring her home (or wherever else she wants to go), even if I know I am not interested in her.

    I take a more optimistic view about what I am trying to do on the first few dates- I'm trying to get to know her, not "weed her out".

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    • Getting to know them, weeding them out... it's tomayto, tomahto. You want to know if she is the one, which is just another way of saying you want to know if she is NOT the one. If we weren't weeding them out, we'd open with the wedding ring rather than minigolf.

      Also, I understand that #8 might seem strange given social conventions, but conventions are not always the most practical solution. Suppose you are on a date and you hit a HARD deal breaker where you don't even want to look at her again, or things just go horribly... Do you really want to have a LOOONG ride home together? OR have to spend $60 for her uber bill? It's good courtesy for both partners not to put the other in that situation, and common sense when you're dating someone you don't really know (which is common in the internet age).

    • Maybe I'm just lucky, but I haven't had a date so bad that I didn't want to bring her home. And they were all in the pre-Uber era.

    • I haven't had many, but once you've had one... well, it will be more than enough.

  • 2. Disagree for the reason you listed. I see finding that stuff out as a good thing.

    3.4.5. I disagree. They should be themselves. I believe people being honest and who they are on dates is best. All these rules about courtesy and manners. If these people don't act that way normally then it's just them being fake. I would much rather them be them so I dont waste my time.

    6. Them having to be grateful is a string. I agree with your overall point.

    8. Is just dumb. Sounds like you dont want to give them a ride if you aren't getting laid.

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    • 2. To each their own, but everyone has exes so bringing it up is just unnecessary for me.
      3, 4, 5. They should (and inevitably will) be themselves... But that kind of self doesn't seem to be either of our cup of tea.

      6. I don't expect over the top "oh, I'm so lucky you stooped to even bother talking to me" nonsense, but... being respectful and acknowledging someone went out of their way to do something for you is important. It shows the character you can expect in the future when you have devoted years of your life to building and providing for a family.

      8. It has nothing to do with getting laid. As a personal rule, I don't even believe in kissing before the third date (don't ask, just look up the CDC herpes stats). Rather, I've had enough dates to know that most will just be weeding out the ones you don't want and some will end VERY badly. Not having to ride home together after a horrible date is good sense for both men and women, and we never know which will be horrible until after

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What Girls Said 14

  • I am not too sure if I agree with the last one, but i do see your point.

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    • we're not uber drivers, at least the uber driver would get paid. How do you go out and not plan how you're gonna get home? if you ask beforehand, sure, if yo just expect it, that's some serious entitlment issues

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    • If she is 18 years old or older she is a grown women and can get around herself. She is not a child that needs to be carreid around. I will pick her up if its more convinient, but if not she can handle it herself.

    • @Jxy95 A guy should never offer before the fourth date or so, and the girl should never accept. If things go wrong, do you REALLY want to spend the whole ride home next to a guy who did something horrible during the date, like hitting on the waitress or making vulgar remarks? Same thing for guys. It's just common sense for both people in an age where so many meet online and know nothing more about each other than what they say online.

  • its a matter of basic self respect and human decency. agreed that both men and women shouldn't tolerate those. and its a sad number of people doing them. especially the mobile/social media while dating thing is an epidemic.

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  • 1 to 7 apply to both genders.
    Number 8 has a few things that need to be taken into consideration.
    Sure a first date I'd meet the guy out but it would always be to a place that I am familiar with and he'd always walk me to my car.

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  • Was expecting to get triggered but these are on point

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  • Good take.

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  • 7 is good. The rest is trash.

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  • Nice take

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  • What’s up with number 8?

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    • If she is 18 years old or older she is a grown women and can get around herself. She is not a child that needs to be carreid around. I will pick her up if its more convinient, but if not she can handle it herself.

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    • Your negative thinking and reasoning are likely why you ended up going out with such awful women in the first place...

      You seem oblivious to the male female dynamic that has run the vast majority of human history. Men provide and women take that and provide back. Men show that they can financially provide for the woman and family, and the woman uses that money to care for all of them. It must start with a man first showing that he can fulfill his role as a man. It obviously does not mean that a woman is not interested if she wants to see a normal display of a man's masculine abilities. If a man is that incapable from the start, then why should any normal female be expected to behave normally in her role as well? How stingy will this man be later? How incapable of even making the most basic gestures towards caring for those he loves? Family requires selflessness. A man who is capable of that can attract a female who is as well.

    • @wolfcat87 totally agree with this

  • Nice MyTake

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  • Yes. Exactly. And they apply to both!

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What Guys Said 36

  • List is fine for both men and women. 1 especially is a deal breaker for me- I once ended a date with a girl after a drink and appetizer (I still paid) because she sent two texts, and a snapchat in like the first ten minutes... I put my phone on silent for dates and expect the same.

    Seems like a lot of girls are taking issue with #8- to which I say it depends. If I know girl, maybe we work together, go to school together, or are in the same friend group, yes I would drive regardless if it turned out to be a bad date. That's just how it. However, most of the girls I go on a date with I barely know or met through a dating app in which case I would never even assume to drive! It would take a very dumb person to get into a vehicle with someone they have only texted online before. In fact I am even less chivalress (although I consider MORE thoughtful) in that I usually ask a girl if she has a recommendation near her so it is not out of her way, and she feels more comfortable in a familiar environment.

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  • Number 4 and 5 brings a few girls that I know to mind. They like to think that having an attitude, cursing every other word, talking shit, and being rude to whomever makes them this strong independent women. That couldn't be further from the truth. It makes them look ridiculous and these same women wonder why they can't meet a good man.

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  • Bad manners and rude aren't the same thing? I'm not disagreeing with your points I'm just bringing up that they are the same thing.

    And the last one is a bit silly.

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    • Bad manner, to me, are not being considerate of other people, while being rude is being deliberately disrespectful to someone. It has to do with the intent and execution. Using my cell phone while people are watching a movie is bad manners, calling the woman behind me a fat cow when she asks me to put it away is being rude.

      The last one might seem silly given social convention, but convention is not always the most practical solution. Suppose you are on a date and you hit a HARD deal breaker where you don't even want to look at her again, or things just go horribly... Do you really want to have a LOOONG ride home together? OR have to spend $60 for her uber bill? It's good courtesy for both partners, and common sense when you're dating someone you don't really know (which is common in the internet age).

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    • And if she doesn't have a car, and didn't bring money (as many women don't, since it helps them avoid going dutch)? You were the last one seen with her, so if not for the sake of courtesy, than at least for practicality one should be sure a woman can get home without walking a few miles of dark, empty roads alone.

    • Nah. She can call a friend, her mom or whoever. If she brought no money at all then that's her problem. And Uber is paid with a card, I know that bitch has a card on her.

  • #8 Seriously bro? That's terrible and makes no logical sense.

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    • How do you figure? #8 might seem strange given social conventions, but conventions are not always the most practical solution. Suppose you are on a date and you hit a HARD deal breaker where you don't even want to look at her again, or things just go horribly... Do you really want to have a LOOONG ride home together? OR have to spend $60 for her uber bill? It's just good courtesy for both partners not to put the other in that situation, and common sense when you're dating someone you don't really know (which is common in the internet age).

    • 1) Maybe... just make you should try getting to know someone before going on a date with them?
      2) You make no sense because you're listing deal breakers. So what if the date goes well and you really like her, are you going to end things is she wanted a ride home or to share an Uber? That's dumb af.

  • My dealbreakers are more immediate:
    1. Smoking, drinking, or drug use.
    2. Profanity.
    3. Tattoos and body piercings.
    4. Overweight or less than 5'0.
    5. Thongs.

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    • just curious- why thongs? they're mean to hide the underwear line with certain dresses or outfits

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    • you would fucking hate me xD i swear a ton and have a shitload of piercings
      xx
      ~ Mrs Manson

    • I'd go for that, except under 5'0". I've known lots of cute filipina girls under 5'0".

  • Agree with most of them - With entitlement and ride home maybe be more a behavioural analysis thing rather than a total deal breaker so depends on the girl but if they panned out as you describe probably a deal breaker.

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  • 1 I don't really mind if she's in the web or taking selfies when we talk, but the rest of the list yeah

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  • I agree with 1-7, but 8 would be acceptable if she had no car.

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    • An adult woman who lives with her parents, lives with her parents and/or isn't self-supporting would be another deal breaker for me. I'm well past high school, and they should be, too.

    • Graduating high school doesn’t buy someone a car. They need cash. What if she didn’t have a car but was saving up for one?

  • Nice take, but there is almost always at least one of them that girls do on a date. The first one is most common i would say.

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  • I'd be willing to work with most of these issues Except the goddamn texting - I've walked out on the pathological texters before and it leads to what you describe at 7 - they pretend like they don't understand why I left, why I'm being mean etc.

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