What “Being Yourself” Really Means

thecd1979
What “Being Yourself” Really Means

Guys, we've all have heard that when it comes trying to impress, and catch the attention of a lady, that the best thing you can do is be yourself and not try and be someone you're not. This is %100 true. However, this statement has a tendency to be misunderstood by some, and somehow gives the impression that certain behaviors that should rightfully be un acceptable, should somehow be deemed acceptable. Here are a few things on what being yourself should not entail:

Being yourself doesn't make it ok to be lazy, unmotivated, have no ambition, and live at home with your parents with no plans or goals for anything better.

Being Yourself doesn't make it ok to be irresponsible (financially and otherwise), and continue making poor life decisions

Being yourself doesn't make it ok to never go outside, lack confidence, be socially inept, lack very little to no life skills, and lack the means to make grown decisions on your own.

Being yourself doesn't make it ok to lie, or bend the truth about things like your accomplishments, job status, the car you drive, or living situation.

Being yourself doesn't make it ok to be judgmental, rude, and unpleasant to those whom you have nothing to gain from, or by whom you may feel threatened by.

What “Being Yourself” Really Means

Being yourself doesn't make it ok for you to be overweight, have poor hygiene, live like a slob, and live an unhealthy lifestyle.

Being yourself doesn't make it ok to invade her personal space, privacy, and not take no for an answer when she's already made it clear that she's not interested in you.

I'm sure there's other pointers on this I can come up with, but these are the ones that stand out for me that I feel are the most relevant. I think everyone can understand what it is I'm getting at. When it comes down to hearing "just be yourself" it means be who you are, but a grown up, confident, capable, interesting and likable version of you. It's about being the best version of who you are. It's about being someone that she can look up to and believe in, and not the kind of person mentioned above.

If you're following any of these behaviors above, it shouldn't be a surprise why you're still single, and the ladies aren't paying attention to you.

I'll end by saying if the show fits wear it. I'm not going to entertain any rude or insulting comments, and I'm just going to remove them. If you don't agree with something I've mentioned, you can express that in a mature and respectable manner.

If you're wanting to be rude and hurl insults, it's not going to change anything, and I'm not the person to take your frustrations and insecurities out on. You have to fix yourself, I can't do it for you and neither can anyone else. It took a few years for me to realize my behaviors were the problem, and to make a sincere effort to make the changes I needed to (It was tough!). I'm hoping the information I've provided here can point some of you in the right direction and provide some insight on what behaviors you need to change. I wish everyone here the best.

What “Being Yourself” Really Means
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    Just being fully honest while being confident. Success in life helps with that but you can be also confident when you make peace with who you are and where you are. Being yourself doesn't mean being comfortable with doing things that are unpleasant to others (making shitty jokes etc). It's just about self acceptance while being good socially. Social skills can be learned if you pay attention to cues.
    Is this still revelant?
    • thecd1979

      Yes sir! I speak from experience on this. I’ve definitely have had to make peace with who I am. When I got serious about just doing me and focused on my goals and the plans for my life that’s when I became confident and the ladies started paying attention to me. Confidence is attractive and they can pick up on a guy that is confident, just the same as they can with a guy that is insecure and not sure of himself. I’ve learned to that when you become confident it’ gets easier to converse with people and develop those social skills, because you’re not worried about what someone may think of you and aren’t afraid to be yourself. The ladies tend to like a guy that isn’t afraid to be himself, but of course as I mentioned, the Best version of themselves that someone can be.

  • Lance1965
    It is good to be yourself but you have to be the best version of yourself and that is where it can be hard for some people. Some things can always be improved but some bad/less than perfect things can't be changed.
    Is this still revelant?
    • thecd1979

      Yes, exactly. What I'm getting at and, trying to tell those kinda guys is you can't be one of these kinda guys and then whine and cry about how the ladies aren't paying attention to you and shooting you down.

Most Helpful Girl

  • DeeDeeDeVour
    Who else will I be but myself? It's not my problem if people don't like what they see or get from me.
    Is this still revelant?
    • thecd1979

      Be yourself but be the best version of yourself you can be. The traits I mentioned above are not the quailities anyone should want to practice

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What Girls & Guys Said

710
  • leestella1999
    I like being myself now due to freedom of expressing yourself. I prefer to do something like my hobby like the collection collectables like funko pop and q posket. But many people should actually understand that everyone is not the same. I actually do not like copycat who copies what I like or never put makeup. I prefer guys who act natural and being themselves. Being poor or rich does not matter as long you guys or ladies have a good heart.
  • SngBirdy
    I think most times when people say "just bee yourself", they mean show the good and fun things about your personality and dont hide them.

    If you are a fucking asshole though, dont show it. No one wants to see the shitty things about "yourself". Even though its still "yourself", its not exactly what we want you to do
  • genericname85
    Beine yourself is the easy part. Knowing who you are is the tricky part.
    • thecd1979

      Yes sir! Most definitely agree. Every man must make that walk and figure it out for himself.

    • big_comma

      Who you are is not a constant thing. It changes over time, every day actually. Every day you learn something new or realize about yourself.

    • @big_comma yes but you gotta figure out who you are once to develop yourself from there. if you don't care, you won't progress. you will change but not necessarily for the better unless you care.

    • Show All
  • Browneye57
    Being yourself doesn't get the girls. You need these three things:
    looks
    money
    confidence. irrational confidence.

    Being yourself just means not being a pretentious prick. :)
  • wayy11aa
    i believe it means being something you approve on, and truly want to be.. not necessarily truly being it :D
  • PlsWork
    The fact that you wrote this and though that it isn't self explanatory is kind of scary.
    • thecd1979

      I’ve come to see that for many guys this day and age, this is something that doesn’t just go without being said like it should.

  • ImSoSquishy
    i've met a few people who are so consumed about trying to fit in, they started losing themself and try to become someone else instead. like whenever me or my close friend introduce someone into our tight social circle, some of them started to imitate me and my friend. they even tried to copy the way we dress, talk, and the habits we do too. like this one guy, when i stopped wearing the 2 studs on my left ear, he stopped too. when i started wearing rings on my index finger, he got a ring too. i started wearing levi's and American eagle jeans, he switched to the brand too. i got a leather jacket from allsaints, and he went to get one too, and it kept getting creepy AF. it's almost like he wanted to become me or my friend.
    • WillyD

      OMG it's single white female!

  • RIVERTAY888
    Great take people dont like it when we are been our self well l dont care as l am my self
  • Fitness-Fanatic
    Very well said!! I agree
  • Anon-ymous1
    Decent Take. I agree.
  • Dingsbums
    What’s left to be then
  • ChloeStarfire
    Embrace who you are
  • opurba
    Don't be... love urself n find ur lover.
  • Secretgardenblood
    Great take
  • ivanhunterjo
    Don't conform to what people want you to be.
  • Anonymous
    Be yourself. Unless you suck. Then be someone else.
  • Anonymous
    Great
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