The generic advice "Be Yourself" - what it really means.

[SweetnSober]

I got extremely conflicted with the advice, oh hey OP, Just Be Yourself. Yea erm thanks. Okay, it's like society says be yourself, just not in this way. I'm currently dating a girl, and I don't have much experience so I've asked a few friends for advice.

I feel the advice 'just be yourself and it will be fine' is really misleading, because what it does is you then you tend to control yourself, you withhold and restrict yourself truly just because you want to maintain how he or she sees 'yourself'.

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Basically this whole "Be yourself" thing is really misleading. First thing that comes to mind is that Being yourself means to "STAY THE WAY YOU ARE"; however that is not at all what you should do, what the advice truly is this = "keep your mind and morals, and keep it up" -and that you should do what you want - what you want, not others.

It means that you naturally should ALLOW YOURSELF to evolve, change and become a better person, whether it'll be flirting, making conversations or dissolving bad habits etc... Just do what you would do if the world was going to end - live life the way you would, don't hold back - do what you feel is right.

Being yourself means, be you and keep moving ahead - you're headed in the right direction (especially if someone said just "be yourself"), you shouldn't sustain where you are at, but rather you should continue what you're doing and keep moving forwards.

Take control, be confident, be you.

This is what I personally believe what the generic advice "Just Be Yourself" truly intends to mean.

[spuitkaas]

Thank you for sharing this. I actually wanted to make a take on this subject, because my friends aks me for advise on dating sometimes and other people tell them indeed to be yourself. Being yourself doesn't mean don't evolve in a better person. There are always thing you could do better in acting to other people. Always try to be the best version of yourself and indeed keep your morals. I really like your take.

[YourFutureEx]

Great. I appreciate. :)

[Creole_Flavor]

I don't think it is misleading if you know yourself and you are worried about how someone will see you or like you then you tend to try to impress by not being yourself sometimes and then you have to keep it up. You have to know yourself to be yourself around anyone and knowing yourself is accepting who you are as a person inside and out and not allowing anyone to devalue how you see yourself and the way that you act.

[EyeSeaYew]

I agree. Sometimes people will take that advice and use it as an excuse for themselves. Being yourself doesn't mean not improving or recognizing and working on your flaws.

[Crazyced]

Where it's misleading is if for example you were not a naturally confident person, it would effectively tell you to not be confident. Just be the best you that you can, the one that's attractive to others.

Women effectively do the same thing when they 'massage' their apparences. For guys, it's their attitude that they try and work on.

[Laura1995]

It's definitely misleading, depending on how it's used.
For instance, if you're introverted, then being yourself is a good thing. However, telling someone to be themself if they cheat, per say, or procrastinate, isn't sound advice.

[Kshppatel]

Be yourself means just be comfortable in your own skin and don't be afraid to say something because the person might think a certain way of you. In other words give zero fucks.

[semipro]

"Be yourself because everyone else is already taken."
-Oscar Wilde
Love your take!

[googla]

be yourself means be alternative of yourself? so it's you in your imagination but it's you really?

[AllWomenLie]

Be yourself is a nice way of telling someone sorry your to ugly to date or have any chances.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Woah dude... that's harsh... tone it down...

[Kshppatel]

Strong username

[AllWomenLie]

@R3D its true I hear that all the time and no one dates or finds me attractive. And please don't say its because of my username.

[AllWomenLie]

@Kshppatel thanks.