Getting Picky with Height: It Doesn't Matter

The music is pounding and lights are flashing an array of colors. Your eyes scan the sea of faces, seeing which person looks approachable. Someone is sitting at the bar with a smirk on their face and a shot dangling between their fingers. Watching them stand from their seat, you realize something: their height is not to your liking, so you rule them out to try for another person.

Getting Picky with Height: It Doesn't Matter

I've listened to a lot of my friends and colleagues talk about height: "that man is too short", or "that woman is too tall". I don't really care what their preferred appearance is, but sometimes I wonder. What if a man/woman was completely perfect, but the thing that makes you look the other way was their height? I hear it a lot and I also see it here on social media.

There's something about height that has become romanticize over the years. Looking at old romance movies, you see the woman as someone who is submissive and feminine, while the man is more dominant and masculine. Height is one thing that is used to display which one is dominant in the relationship. Think about it. Most romance movies has a man who is tall and a woman who is shorter. The idea has changed over the decades, but the concept has still carried on in various forms. It's romantic to see a woman tilting her head up to look at her lover and stretching onto her toes to give a shy and chaste kiss. It's sweet, innocent, and amazing. Maybe even a turn on. Same concept for a man: it's sexy and hot to have a man tower over you dripping with desire and passion.

Getting Picky with Height: It Doesn't Matter

Now this idea can vary. A woman can be hot and sexy too, and a man can be innocent and lovely. Everyone prefers different qualities. But what I don't understand (and it's a little vexing to hear too) is that height seems to matter when picking out a partner. A women's average height tends to be 5 feet and 4 inches, while a man;s average height is 5 Feet 9 inches. AVERAGE people---we're talking average, and the gap is not that large. This is where science comes into play.

Genetics plays a big part when it comes to a person's physical appearance. Everyone is special and unique due to their genetic make up. If our genes melted together, we would all look close to the same. Not only that, genetics isn't something we can change with a snap of our fingers or some amazing dietary plan. We can control our weight and actions, but not our height because that is a part of our genes.

If you have a preference for height when looking for a partner, that is absolutely fine. No judgement here. But remember, humans can't magically grow taller or become shorter (maybe with the help of heels and illusion-fashion tricks). Short or tall, it doesn't matter. Maybe when the ladies say they want a tall man, they actually mean just a few inches; not a foot or some crazy height difference. I don't know, but have an open-heart when looking for that significant other. Give each other a chance. You never know...they may have been the one...

Getting Picky with Height: It Doesn't Matter

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Great take! I enjoyed the read. BUT you can write and talk about height all day long but the real selection happens instinctively where words no longer count. The way it really works is I will tell you that height doesn’t matter and if she is pretty 5’2” will be my choice. But every time I have been out and there is a group of women and I have a choice and she has a choice I gravitate towards the tall one. And there are plenty of women that will say height doesn’t matter except their instincts do otherwise. More short women come after me than average or tall. They could go for another guy but they prefer to be a ballerina to kiss me. The mating actions do not match the words.

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    • True. The correct way to phrase this is "height shouldn't matter, but it does". Human psychology and thought has evolved over time and had been influenced by social norms, so we lean towards a certain aspect and become picky. It's not something that will change anytime soon and our words will often times never match our actions, but the decision is up to the individual.

    • Well said!

    • Thanks for the mho.

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What Guys Said 50

  • Good Take, and yes, height isn't that important, plus the guys with gfs that are taller than them will tell you that's perfectly fine, too.

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  • I think this video belongs here:

    https://youtu.be/3DLZjvjpFxo

    Generally speaking, height is women's obsession. Guys just adapted - they go for what they can handle, because women generally don't like if the guy is shorter than them.

    If you don't like the video, don't downvote me - let's talk about it.

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    • I actually have to agree with what he's saying this is totally how most girls actually think about guys but won't say it.

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    • @Hurlyburly definitely. A clever guy finds his niche, where he can be the best. That's what I suck at - I don't like advertising myself.

  • This article made me cry but in a good way. I wish more girls had your mindset, but biology dictates otherwise and height equals security, just like income and strength. I got rejected by my 5'7" friend because she told me that "while I was perfect, I am too short for her (5'5" guy here)". That destroyed my self-esteem. Funnily enough, this 5'9" girl asked me out last year on a date and it went pretty well. If she hadn't transferred schools, we could have still been with each other.

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  • Pretty much what I've thought. I think some people are a bit too picky about that, or at least act like they are. I don't know what's going through their heads, but I'm sure someone not being 6'2" or even a little shorter or taller than them is not going to be the end of the world. It's up to them if it really matters that much, but yeah, keep an open mind. Don't just immediately write everyone off that doesn't fit into some little bubble of yours. You might be surprised.

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  • Just sometimes there is a chemistry that happens when two people catch each others eye or when they meet or something else that happens down the track that challenges our thoughts of the ideal man or woman. Submit to the chemistry and have a ball together whether it lasts or not. It will be beautiful. Enjoy the ride.

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  • Great take.
    I feel women have really strict height requirements. Must be taller than her, must be over 6ft etc. Not all women but most.

    Guys usually don't care, sure we have preference but I wouldn't turn down a woman who approaches me because she was too tall. ( personally Maybe if she was really short but only because I would be constantly scared of hurting her and a 6ft1 guy with a 4ft woman would cause problems for both of us)

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  • Women have become shallow hal. Women only want height bc she sees you as an object. "My man is the tallest therefore the most socially wanted" they could give a shit about who you are cause if she did height, the unchangeable lottery trait, wouldn't matter. Unlike fat women who think you just need to accept their fathood bc wahman.

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  • Good myTake, but the thing is about women is that they look for security from the man they want (or in anything)
    So, height, size, physical strength, mental strength, financial security, etc all add to their sense of security.
    I learned that sometime ago and the idea has not been debunked yet.

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  • I agree. All this importance on height is a non-issue and I think I belong to the minority here.
    I never understood why it matters. Aside from physical attraction perhaps? Duuuh. That's like saying "i only date women with big breasts" 🙄

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  • I am 6 foot 2 inches so I'm taller than most women but back in 5th grade there was his one girl who is kind of tall and I was like nah because of her height. And every since her I vowed to never kind of be like that again.

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  • Very good take - I don't think I ever consciously took height into consideration - Really I think only time it matters is if you are really small or really big there may be some actual logistical issues but anything inside say 15 inches gap should be okay.

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  • You like what you like. For most heterosexual women that's a man who's roughly a head taller than them. Do you have to be 6'7 (like me)? Of course not. Do you have to be taller than her? Of course not. But you only like what you like.

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  • It matters. And I love this narrative that tall girls=short guys. No, short guys are universally reviled. Some women tolerate them, but none prefer them. Tall girls on the other hand are actually considered MORE attractive on the whole. So for women, you're right, height doesn't matter. For men, being short makes you human garbage and a walking punchline in most women's eyes.

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  • Im about 5'10.5 but im only attracted to petite women like 5'0" + or - an inch or two. I think they just look cuter and they are even more easier to throw around in bed. Lol. I could be happy with a taller girl like up to 5'5" but only if she's very thin. I dont want a girl that weighs anywhere near what i weigh. ~165

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  • i feel dominant and superior because chicks in heels have to bend their necks all the way back to look up at me

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  • I'm about 5'9 and dating girls who are taller than me has just seemed odd to me. I'm not saying she can't be an inch taller but when she's like 2 or 3 inches taller it kinda bothers me. There are guys for those girls I'm just not one of them.
    I'm pretty sure a girl in my freshman English class likes me now but I don't want to tell her "You're nice and all but you're too tall for me.

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  • It would not bug me to step up a little to kiss the women that choose me to be her mate <3

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  • Well, for one, five inches is a pretty big difference in height. It doesn’t sound like it on paper, but find some five inches taller or shorter than you and you can definitely tell.

    Otherwise, I agree to an extent. I don’t really care about height that much, because I’m so tall that finding a girl that’s shorter than me is almost as easy as... I don’t know, but you get the point. I’ve only ever found one girl who’s taller than I am.

    If she’s really short, I can pick her up, and if she’s around six foot, awesome. But I will say that I don’t think I’d date a girl who’s taller than me.

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  • Never been out with a tall girl , not that I wouldn't but it has never come up , had plenty of shorter ones. But its who you are attracted to, not what she looks like …..

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  • Height is one of the most trivial preferences a person can have. Unless someone is incredibly short or incredibly tall I can't see how it can affect anything at all.

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  • In my opinion, aslong as the girl you are dating is shorter than you. You are good to go.

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  • I do like shorter girls, but I certainly be happy with a girl who is my height. Now if you were to use a dating app in my city and you were to search for women. I think you'd be surprised at how EXTREMELY picky women in this city are. Many of those who are extremely tall say that they will ONLY bother with men who are FAR taller then them.

    Again, for me I'd prefer a shorter girl, but if I were to hit it off with a girl is who my height and who had a great personality. Then I'd say forget height and start a relationship with her. :)

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  • I'm not too tall, and I am attracted to girls shorter than myself or almost same as me. Maybe I'm not liked by tall women, but should I care?

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  • People have different cues that they respond to. If it's deeply ingrained in you you to physically respond to height, then go with it.

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  • I don't find girls who're taller than me attractive

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  • I am not too much bothering, but I am kind of short. Many a times tall girls rejected me or I rejected them

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  • A short boyfriend can be a marvelous advantage. He can multi-task.

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  • I get your point, but there are biological and evolutionary factors to consider when it comes to picking a mate with a certain size and height.

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  • It matters to me and the girls got to be at least five foot two

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  • I hate being under 6 foot. It greatly lowers my chances of finding love.

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What Girls Said 31

  • This was a great myTake! As a tall woman, I have never really run into anyone who had a problem with my height, even dating people who might be an inch or two shorter than me. Why miss a fantastic connection because of something so shallow?

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  • You’ve made a very good point, and shared a great perspective on things.
    I’m currently dating a 6’4 guy. However it’s not his height that attracted me, it’s his kindness and his gentlemanly nature, he’s so respectful.
    I also dated a 5’5 guy a few years ago. His height wasn’t a problem at all.
    I’m 5’7.

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  • just like someone wouln't date a fat person, someone wouldn't date shorter/taller person, that's fact and there's nothing wrong with it. Some care about it and some don't

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    • At least you can help being fat.

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    • @drdudebro69 @M-ikaela
      Height is genetically written into your code as a human. That will not change. Weight is something that can change, but is also something you're comfortable with as an individual. If you are curvy or round and don't want to exercise to lose weight, then you are simply comfortable in your own skin. A person should not exercise and lose weight to look good for someone else, but to feel good about themselves.

    • Thats fine if you wanna be fat but don't get mad when people don't want to fuck you.

  • I think it's just a habit. I was always dating really tall guys until I moved abroad to a country where it was hard to find a guy taller than me. And I got used to shorties. When I came home, I was scared how tall everyone was. Now I prefer guys about same height as me. :)

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  • Fair take. But I think a lot has to do with primitive/subconscious thinking (I. e. a tall man will protect me or a short woman will need my protection). However, I think we can expect these preferences to shift increasingly toward taller people in general as evolution progresses (because we all are getting taller)

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  • I believe as a girl I prefer a taller guy. It feels protective having a tall guy because as a girl I am very short. A short girl also need help a lot especially in a supermarket and doing everyday stuff.

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  • I come from a family of tall men (6’2” and up). I am attracted to tall men because that’s what I grew up with... that’s what I was surrounded by. I am now very interested in tall guys and admittedly a little uncomfortable with shorter ones.

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  • Tbh it matters a lot to me. I would want a guy that is taller than me, Tall enough so that it is obvious to other people that he is taller than me.

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  • Short guys are so sexy though. I wouldn't mind tall, but short for the win. 😍

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  • I tend to lean more towards a guy who is either as tall or preferably taller than me but even if he is shorter it isntna deal breaker really. I guess im not that picky but my over all preference is having him a bit taller than me

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  • Everyone needs someone. Personally, I would prefer for my man to be taller than me. Some short guys may develop the Neapolitan complex if he isn't confident with himself

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  • Oh, I'd love to date a (slightly) shorter man.

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  • Interesting points. I'm 5'5 and height isn't really important to me. My preference though is to have a guy who is tall enough that I can wear a small heel and not feel like a giant lol

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  • I'm 4'11.5 (151cm). Not only is there an upper limit, there's a lower limit for female's height. I'd say around 5'1 - 5'7 is the average ideal.

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  • Whatever it is about tall men I am very attracted to them, much more than guys under 6ft. Which may be hypocritical of me as I'm only 4'10 myself.

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  • I'm 5'1". I dated someone 4'6" and married someone 5'8". Personality counts. Not height.

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  • I'm 5'4" and never have dated anyone shorter than me.

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  • Good take, and yeah my boyfriend is only about 4 or so inches taller than me

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  • I would like to date someone taller then me. Which shouldn’t be hard because I’m 5”6

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  • Height doesn't matter to me

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  • Great Take

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  • Nice take

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  • Interesting
    Height doesn't matter to me

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  • Good take.

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  • I’m shorter then hubby

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  • Such an original topic

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  • I think some guys are into height issues with girls.

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  • Nicely presented. :)

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  • I want a taller guy, sorry.

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  • Too be honest, I actually like shorter men. Not men that are shorter than me, but men that are around my height.

    1. They’re easier to reach and talk to.

    And

    2. Sex is way better.

    (To elaborate on 2) My best friends boyfriend is so much taller than her, and she’s told me she’s unable to do certain sex positions because of the height difference. She’s told me she’s getting bored of doing the same things all the time, but she can’t help it.

    Which is why I like having a guy my height, keeps it interesting.

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