Batman’s Online Dating profile Revealed

[coachTanthony]

Single and Ready to Mingle

Would the Dark Knight use POF? Ok Cupid? Tinder? I think he would probably use something more low profile. Possibly a new dating site for superheroes. Maybe Powermatch? or HeroMingle? or Ashley Madison? Ha. Either way a dating site full of superheroes would be cool. As you all know or don’t know, I help Men and Women with their online dating profiles. So when I got this email from APennyworth with a request to create a profile for The Dark Knight I was amused.

The Butler

So I did the research and below is what I came up with.

Subject Line: Must not be afraid of Bats, no seriously.

Hobbies and Interests: Long walks on rooftops, damp dusty basements, crime novels and movies, feeding the penguins and fast cars.

Bio:

I’m the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom. She’ll think I’m super funny, and charming..and cute, but actually kind of sexy at the same time? She falls in love with me. I am pretty sure I feel the same way. We get married. I’m your dad now. I confront you, 'hey young lady why are you on Tinder?’ Yeah well, you are now grounded. Just kidding of course!

I obviously have a great sense of humor and love Halloween. It is the one true holiday I can be myself. My longest relationship wasn’t long at all… she died in a fire. My last girlfriend dated a guy named Queen, what a huge putz. Stupid blond beard. If you like young arrogant goofballs that play with bow and arrows then I am not your guy. I am also allergic to cats. If you have cats or consider yourself a cat lady … swipe left! Unless you are smoking hot and can meow to me in 10 different languages.

Meow, Miaou, maullar, Miau, ニャー, Miao, miáú, meu, 야옹, meo

Are you dangerous? Maybe a romantic at heart? I am looking for someone who can keep up
with me...especially someone who doesn't complain about their life but embraces every
opportunity. Do you think a cup of coffee can alter our future, our path, our destiny? Let’s find
out. Talk soon!

Sorry Jim I have a date!

Obviously this myTake is really just for fun so let's have some fun with it. What would be a good name for a new SUPERHERO DATING APP? Leave in comments below!

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Amusing. :) However, with his wealth & resources, he'll never need a dating site. As Bruce Wayne, he can easy get anyone to jump into his fancy vehicles and drive or fly off into who knows where. As the Batman, he's already having affairs with vixen villains & possibly another superhero.

More likely, he'd own the website and have Alfred do the dirty work. Your suggestions such as 'Powermatch. com' & 'HeroMingle. com' will definitely come to mind if they couldn't come up with an awesome brand by themselves.

[coachTanthony]

The secret world of hero love! LOL

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

Damn. I need to date this guy. Plus he never mentioned this but he is in a band

https://youtube.com/watch?v=qatmJtIJAPw

[coachTanthony]

Ha Ha love it.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

You just made all this 100000x more epic. Batmetal. HELL yah that needs to be on his profile, reseme, etc! Thank you for makin this metal! You have earned 6 more points on your Satan My Master Card! Thee points give you the illusion of a good deal of earning miles to travel on Bloody Mary's Spirit Airlines! Again thank you! \m/ (To unsubscribe to these messages, please sacrifice 600 autotune devices, 60 electronic synthesizers, and 6 babies to a blazing inferno in our name. Para español pulsa el botón de "brujeria")

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

@errorgoodnameunfound 😂😂😂 lmao im dead 😂😂😂. Wtf i just looked at your profile, i also scream "SLAYYYYEEERRRR!!!" On it lol

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

Meaning in mine

[errorgoodnameunfound]

Seeing me in a positive light is appreciated mam. Hmmm... this inspires me... I know Slayer isn't doing too much now and this may seem cliche... buuuut it would be interesting to have the "SSSSSSSSLAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR" Challenge where you scream their name exactly how we did and try to get as many people around to do the same and then they in turn try to as well and we see who can make it done the most. It can be done online or offline. I figure that sorta thing is kinda done already, but since everything and anything comes across as some sort of "challenge" and gains steam so fat, it'd be interesting. Also can be used to parody the whole challenge stuff that always seems to be popping up and ofc, make it more fuckin metal. Like really metal. Blacker than the blackest black. So much that's it's rainbow dildos and blasts apart what was likely expected as conclusion of this well known phrase because of it's sheer power. \m/ 0\./0 \m/

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

@errorgoodnameunfound lmao XD that actually sounds really kick ass 😂

[SirRexington]

His track record is full of mistakes anyway.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=53iLUBgjpQg

🎥 HISHE's "BECAUSE I'M BATMAN!!" (Compilation) Part 2 ...

[red_knight]

Supercafe is too dope!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

[Opinion Owner]

[coachTanthony]

Yass

[coachTanthony]

Ha Ha Ha that is awesome!

[Opinion Owner]

Even funnier, it's real dialogue from the anime series.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

Haha!

Batmans too alpha for most women. Strange thing I've noticed with women IRL is that every damn woman out there desires an big stong alpha to hang onto at night. But so few women have the self respect/esteem to actually uphold such a relationship with a "batman"...

They invest more energy into pedestalling him and questioning why he chose to be with her rather than someone else. It therefore becomes a self-defeating tragedy.

[ChiTown33]

I think most women would pass on him due to his secretive nature. I mean he couldn't tell them he's Bruce Wayne/Batman so he'd always be hiding something from them if she didn't pick up on that right away she eventually would and dump him once she found out. Plus look at all the time he spends in the Batcave with ward Dick Grayson (pun not intended). Nothing gay about that.

[KillerFreddie]

He's one of the world's greatest players, he don't need no tinder.

[coachTanthony]

Ha right on!

[Randomawkwardness]

Okay isn't he rich tho? Like let's not pretend he wouldn't just shag up with some hot model

[lightbulb27]

funny! I don't think he'd get many matches, he's a strange bat!
That reminds me... cat woman from the original batman tv series kept me out of a lot of trouble by scaring the heck out of me!

[red_knight]

Batman isn't funny or witty you just described how Bruce Wayne behaves to show a fake richboy persona..

Batman is dark, brooding and the worlds greatest detective.

But in the lol spirit this is funy.

[pumaOH24]

Bruce Wayne would use which ever app wealthy people use!

[Mantinziza]

The dark knight wouldn't date because it would screw with what he does, simple as that.

[zagor]

That really pissed me off in the old Michael Keaton Batman movie where Alfred shows Vickie Vale into the batcave! NO WAY he would blow his cover just to get him laid.

[anon1903]

you seem like a cool person. I'm not looking for a relationship, but I hope we can talk sometime:-)

[John_Doesnt]

Bruce Wayne is rich, so naturally he gets all the ladies.

[SarahVanRensburg]

I just need to know how big his dick is.

[AkshiJanjua]

Dick Grayson?

[zoe2187]

Hahaha!

[Selina_Kyle_]

As being Selina Kyle, I am the only one who rides it

[KillerFreddie]

@Selina_Kyle_ You're talking about a well known playboy here.

[red_knight]

Doesn't matter how big his dick is.. He's BATMAN!!!

[SarahVanRensburg]

@red_knight Oh yeah for sure but I'm just curious to know how big BATMANS dick is.

[red_knight]

Well have to ask selena Kyle, wonder woman, talya al-ghul and wonderwoman..

[KillerFreddie]

There's an actual canon comic pic of Batsy's dick. Just google image it.

[MollyTheOriginal]

Bateman, AKA Bruce Wayne, is literally the trifecta: handsome, rich and intelligent. He doesn't need to go on an online dating website, let alone try to find one in real life; he'd have women lining up to try to be with him.

[killer4212]

Batman: "Come at my place and I'll show you all my gadgets 😏"

[WafflecChip]

I've been hearing this a lot and youtube and to be honest I am mystified about it

[coachTanthony]

What are you referring too?

[ChocolateMarie2001]

I’m prefer iron man over Batman his always miserable or seems like that.

[seth900]

No he's a real man.

[Karthik_1411]

Owning a Mercedes biome would be enough to look attractive...😃
Such a buisness tycoon doesn't required to search for any cuz DC girls are already over him😂

[Meoir34]

very interesting take, thanks for sharing!

[coachTanthony]

Hey thanks !

[humanearth]

Very good a I found it very entertaining.

[coachTanthony]

Thanks man that means a lot!

[Dolemite510]

He’s Bruce Wayne he’s rich enough to have women throwing themselves at him or he can buy expensive escorts all the time, dating is for guys that aren’t rich 😂😂