So I wanted to make two posts, one on how I fucked up, and another on the high points of the date. I HAD SO MUCH FUN! she enjoyed herself, I enjoyed myself, and I had just enough money to pay for everything (I had $2 left and gave it to our waitress 😂). But I'll save that for later, it's important I try to iron out these issues that made me uncomfortable so I can do better on future dates
1) I felt like a little child, with a woman
When we pulled up to pick her up (more on this later) she was wearing a dress and heels and makeup. I felt so bad because (thanks to mom 👿) I didn't have any money to get a new outfit and ahe actually pointed out later that I dresses the same way I always dress to work 😞 (at least she wasn't mean about it). I hate to admit this but she was the first girl to ever dress up for me and it caused a lot of anxiety....I think you can see where this is going....
2) Severe clumsiness 😖
it was so bad 😬. I went to grab a top for my icee and dropped it on the floor, my hands were shaking, my legs were shaking, and I kept rubbing my hands together because I was so anxious. She also told me straight up that I was "quirky and anxious" but she thought it was cute (thank god) but even then...
3) I was shy as fuck!
I told I was quiet but I felt so bad that she was just running her mouth and I was giving small responses and asking questions. I guess it was a great thing that she didn't ask me to many questions but shit I can't keep doing this. I wish I had shit to talk about past work and school 😡
4) I was awkward and didn't lead enough like a man!
One moment that kinda takes me back to #1 is that at one point she told me to go back outside and let our ride know how long we would be. I felt stupid letting her take charge like that. I was doing alright. Except inside the movie I fucked up and some other couple got mad because she was in one of their seats and I was in her seat so we had to move down (I'm so goddamn stupid😞). Even though she told me how much of a "gentleman" I was I still feel like a "nice guy". I want her to see me as a man, not a child, leading to my next point.
5) Failure to escalate (*insert facepalm)
SShe was beautiful, I told her she was beautiful.....and I also told her I was shy when she brought up kissing.....i was afraid to kiss her 😕. I tried to grab ber hand but she playfully pushed me away because it was awkward, she let me open doors for her but she didn't touch my hand or anything so I just decided not to try. Ironically, after I walked her to her door and told her goodnight and left, she text me saying that she was upset because I never gave her a goodnight hug or kiss 😖 I just "walked off". If you can't tell by now I'm a virgin and I want her to find me attractive and see me as a sexual man, so I can eventually have sex. But if she thinks I'm some wimp that can't even hold her hand correctly how is that ever gonna happen? I can only imagine how said sex would go 😷
I tried to play it off by telling her I forgot and that next time I would (we agreed to a second date...more on that too) but honestly that was just painful
Anyways that's 5 ways yours truly fucked up on my first real date (I keep saying real because I have been on two dates before this but that girl cheated on me and looking back she didn't even bother to fix up 😑) . LET me know down below some ways I can fix these issues (hopefully before the next date). If you can only answer one please do because you all are all I have and I REALLY need the help😊. Thanks gag for reading all that!