Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online

Anonymous

Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online

For me personally, my favorite dates and guys I dated were guys I met in real life. There are many things I learned about myself when I tried all these dating sites such as Tinder, EastMeetEast, Coffee meets Bagel, International Cupid, and other dating sites and i realized how important physical AND emotional chemistry was. Like actually really realized it.

1. Online Projects an Idea of Someone as well as Yourself

Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online

I've matched with guys I simply liked the idea of. Sure they were physically what I liked, and sure we hit it off. Problem is one or both sides of the interests are insecure and have the need to keep playing their best cards when we finally meet in real life. Conversations are stale during dates, and eventually we both realize we don't actually have any real chemistry, or it's only one sided. The fact that it is easier to like the idea of someone more online has lead me to encounter more desperate and mentally unstable people.

2. Communication Seems to be Inefficient

Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online

Rather ironic but, since online is full of strangers even if you've been "talking" for awhile there is always room for "miscommunication" or deliberate ignorance. It is easy to say one thing online to fish someone, but have completely different intentions. In real life, I briefly meet the guy, maybe I find him attractive, find his personality is one I click very well with, feeling is mutual, then BAM! Enough chemistry for an actual relationship. I'd say if I ever found a successful online relationship, it would be one that acted like how you would meet traditionally. Briefly start out as friends rather than rush in to get someone's pants off. And NEVER ignore the other's discomfort. If someone is looking for a hookup, say so.

3. Fetish Freaks

Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online

Not saying I don't encounter this in real life because I certainly do being Asian with the whole "Asian Mystique" trend going on, I am a magnet for creepy losers that no one wants to date. I don't get it nearly as bad as some of my friends since I am mixed, but it is still an absolute nuisance. For this reason I always preferred other mixed Asians, or very westernized Asians. It's one thing to have a foot fetish, or baby/daddy fetish, but to fetishize an entire race is truly dehumanizing whether you see it or not. Do not go off about how Asians only date whites, there are plenty of us that are disgusted with entitled attitudes of white men.

These are my reasons for choosing chance meetings over online dating. What's your story?

Why I personally Find Dating in Real Life Much Easier than Online
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Browneye57
    Yep. What I've been saying for years. Online dating is for losers - the peeps that can't get a date going IRL. FAIL
    Worse, the vast majority of women are simply there for validation and attention, with pretty much zero intention of ever actually meeting up with someone, let along dating.
    And the guys are just looking for sex.
    It's a dynamic combination of narcissistic personal interests. ;)
    Is this still revelant?
    • DWD94

      You're not taking into account most women these days are not approachable. So in that regard, online dating is a good thing, especially in the age of #metoo and paranoia over sexual harassment.

    • @DWD94 - Reasonable. And where game really comes into play. It's vital.
      Tips here, use what you can, discard the rest: www.therationalmale.com

    • For the guys anyway.
      For the girls, you just have to look cute and say 'yes', or 'okay'. :)

    • Show All
  • Dchrls78104
    If I wanted to date, I wouldn't go online. There are too many unknowns including the fact that the Internet is ultimately an anonymous place. It is also dangerous. A woman in my country once lost her life because she was going to meet a guy who interacted with her on Tagged. The safest way is to observe the person in real life situations before declaring interest.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Dating online may not work for you but is does work for many people. I have great respect for the opinions of @Browneye57 but this is an issue on which we disagree.

    There are certainly some losers online, some lurking in wait to prey on the unsuspecting. There are also losers sitting in bars and your family and friends could also introduce you to some losers, so online sites have no monopoly on the losers. Online sites also have some very good people in their base.

    I used online sites for dating in 2007-2008, 2015, and 2017-2018. I met some women who were very fine people. They had moral character, integrity, they were accomplished and successful. I met a retired judge online and dated her for two years. I met a primary care office manager and had a long relationship. Ultimately the relationships did not survive but the failures were not caused by the fact that we met online.

    Many people have some misconceptions about online dating. They think that you meet online and everything you do is online/long distance. No, it is just a way to meet people and once y u meet and agree that you want to get to know each other better, you schedule a meeting and you have a face-to-face meeting. At that point, the online aspect vanishes and it is just like any other date.

    People who complain about online dating have either not done it or didn't know how to go about online dating. The online aspect is different and not always intuitive, but. . . bottom line is that many people find their future spouses through online dating.
    • Personally I think your age-range has a big play in this. My comments apply more to the set about 20-30 years your junior. ;)

      Hell, if I was looking I might even try it. But then I'm in a good position to call the shots, to command attention. And I'm surely not a loser. LOL

  • When you meet someone in real life you pick up on a lot of subtle signals and quirks that draw your interest or warn you away. You simply don't get that with online dating. How often do we bump into mr nothingspecial, hit it off and end up dating. Yet if you saw him online you'd wouldn't give him a 2nd glace.
    • Anonymous

      Pretty much

  • slatyb
    Met my wife online. The more people you meet the more likely you are to meet a suitable partner. If you regularly meet people in your dating pool then online dating may be a waste of time. If not, or the people you want to meet are a minority, then online dating may work well.
  • I agree with you that I too believe I’d fare better dating outside of online. I agree with the points you’ve brought up, but I also want to include some other insights as well. In meeting someone online, you have an idea of them that might not be exactly what they’re actually like when you two finally meet. This creates issues because you’re essentially just hoping one of the attractive people you meet happens to have the perfect chemistry with you, agrees with your political beliefs, agrees with your morals, principles, etc. In the online world, you cannot gauge someone’s body language or facial cues, which can have an impact on how comfortable you feel when you’re with the person face to face. I also believe you wouldn’t swipe right on someone online whereas outside of it, you might actually like this person’s company and want to be with them but they’re not as “attractive” or up to par online compared to the volume of people you’re surfing through. I prefer meeting people outside of online dating sites because I feel like these would be better in a variety of manners.
  • BeMuse
    Girls online are weird, hostile, and paranoid… It’s good to observe them on sites like this to see how they think when they go home and get on their computer, but it’s probably not the best place to meet them… It real life it’s lot easier to talk to girls in general.
  • GraveDoll
    Have never had a date from online and it seems Im not missing a thing.

    In reality, I think it just safer and I can say what you see is what you get. take it or leave it.

    And with the race thing you mention it mostly another reason for me as well

    You have TONS and I do mean TONS of undercover white brothers who too scared to admit they find a black girl attractive and I refuse to be anyone weird whatever fever they call it.

    I also trust so little it just would not work out.
  • cavmanier
    *Thinks a white guy having a racial preference is a fetish*

    *Prefers dating Asian men*

    I guess the hateful stereotype only applies to white men into Asian women though.
  • Clarity01
    people act differently over text than in person so it's a bit tricky
    • Anonymous

      that is very true

    • But you find this out when you meet IRL. And it is necessary that you do in a short time. There's no need to not meet within a month or two. You'll find out if you truly have chemistry and can stand each other's habits... Rubber meets the road.

  • crazy8000
    People tends to begin to loose their social skills and behaves like the worst you can be when they are on online dating services. they think it's right and are entitled to be that way without thinking on the consequences how they get perceived or that they are the course to why it still is a shit hole filled with bottom scrapings. (doesn't wants to change, doesn't want to take responsibility of themselves)
  • Melshmallow046
    Online dating has never interested me. My boyfriend has very little online presence and texting is not his strong suit, I doubt I'd have been interested in him if we didn't meet in person first.
  • Robertcw
    Please don’t hate white men because of you’re experience. The only girl I have ever ‘dated’ (use the term very loosely) was Asian.

    I am a white male. I don’t fetishize the race in any way at all. It’s a physical preference and tbh, the only girls that give me the time of day in my area are Asian or Hispanic girls anyway. And that doesn’t bother me at all.
    • Robertcw

      Your*

    • Anonymous

      I dont hate white men but a lot of them come off as thirsty and desperate

    • Robertcw

      Isn’t it just that most men are thirsty and desperate anyway?

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  • I met my ex-chinese girlfriend at work
    That whole Asian mystique thing is a lie haha

    She was difficult, its like being with someone from a different planet. I don't know how these guys get obsessed over Asian ladies. Yeah they are the cutest, but its really challenging.
    • Anonymous

      exactly. I don't know where the fuck they come up with these weird fantasies.

    • Its porn and anime.

    • GUIDO! Thank you for that explanation. I never understood it either. The mote has fallen from my eye.

  • UnicornLobotomy
    My experience with asking out women in person is that they are usually in some "complicated" relationship still with their boyfriend, or they are "separated" and possibly going to divorce their husband. Online is this: cat fished, stood up, cat fished again, GOT ONE! oh whoops led on for a month or so, not good enough for actual dating material, then I take a long break and repeat after six or more months of no relationship or even trying, no intention but to try to go it alone in life for good, but that other head drives me back to the insane dating scene today.
    • Anonymous

      I'm sorry

    • It isn't your fault. I'm just not alpha enough... jk

  • LuWe22
    I met my Boyfriend in real life. We know each other for a long time. (brother of a friend) We never really notice each other until last year. He asked me out and we just click well
  • ALewis30
    Online dating sucks! There's nothing but hackers, scammers, liars and fake people. I prefer to meet woman in real life. But of them are very timid, shy and\or stuck up
    • JeremyT

      Not all dating site are equal. I did register to a site and figure out that all the girls where fake and not local. Lie is part of the game, men lie about their height and women about their weight. I like dating site because it's faster. You have some information before the first meetings. As long as she is honest in the description.

  • Ecologygirl76
    Yeah I can’t do it. I never liked any of the dudes I met up with and it’s not because they suck. It’s because of the premise
    • I have to say I read through 36 online profiles and corresponded with four or five of them before I got to the final three that I actually met in real life. Of those three, two didn't work out. I didn't like them and they never called me back. The last one, No. 39 turned out to be someone who I liked and who I went out with for awhile. But I did wade through nearly40 people, which I never could've done IRL in such a short time (two months or three). Granted, I may have missed out on a few good people who didn't write great profiles. But I'm a writer myself, so would I have been interested in someone who couldn't write a great profile?

  • JeremyT
    I did date a few girls on a dating site, I had only one bad experience. BUT I don't base my selection only on physical (picture) I need in deep description. And yes there are a lot of weido out there. But after a while you see the truth between the line. I don't like bar. I tried work and it tricky,.. not all online dating site are equal. I always base my search on sex and surprisingly I have been successfully. Sex compatibility is very important to me.
  • longfellow420
    I dated someone I met online for a year. One day she vanished. I drove an hour away to "her" house to find out her husband just got out of prison after a year and a half lol he wasn't happy 💁‍♂️
  • leestella1999
    Crazy online friends I meet online because of my money and boobs.
  • humanearth
    I never did computer dating. So i have nothing to compare it to.

  • NatashaJ
    I think so too I do agree with studies that say there are more narcissists on social media and the internet and they can't handle when someone challenge them. Like I remember plenty of times I call a guy on okcupid out on his shit and he loses it and starts being a dick and thinks he in the right. Like boy fuck off it's like they can't handle when someone is right about something. I don't care what anyone thinks if I rude or nice since a shit ton of people on GAG literally think I'm evil for my opinions and for being a feminist lol. When I am not even evil people are just nuts man.
  • sean1234
    Online dating? No such thing. They are all fake. Fake women and in most cases, fake dating web-sites.
    • Maybe the catfish thing is more prominent today. But I did some shorterm online meeting in 2014 and met up with three men after talking on the phone to have a walk and talk or coffee. They weren't fake and neither was I.

    • sean1234

      @Screenwriter 4 years is a long time these days. I'm not saying there aren't a few ladies who are real and even if there are they get bugged a lot by to many men. One girl said she got emailed 1000 times in only a few days. I myself have gotten messages about 3 times on the same POF site in 1 or 2 years.

    • Screenwriter

      There are ways to determine if they're fake. If they won't talk to you on the phone or video chat or meet, you've just about gotten your answer. Meeting IRL dispells most myths. Time is also the great equalizer. Anyone can lie online. Hard to keep up that level of untruth while dating over time. This is WHY people date. You find out all eventually.

    • Show All
  • Shellyworld
    I met interesting people online but they live too far away. That is the only negative thing I can say.

  • DWD94
    I disagree. Online dating is easier and much more efficient.
    • I'm down with the efficiency angle. You read through profiles anonymously and see what attracts you or distracts you from a person. Then you contact them or not. See what they have to say to you verbally. Chat with them a while, then decide to meet for coffee. See how that goes. Then decide to go out on a date and see how that ends up. The online part is simply a filter. Like you either picking up or ignoring a phone message. It's screening.

    • DWD94

      @Screenwriter See thats basically what I mean. Plus, with online dating you know at the very least the person you're messaging is interested in dating. When you're approaching someone you dont know in real life, you have no idea if they are in a relationship, single or if they're even interested in dating.

    • Screenwriter

      OK I gotta disagree with you about a person who responds to you online is interested in "dating." I think they're interested in chatting. You cannot know if an online person is in a relationship, single or if they're interested in ACTUAL dating. I define "dating" as going out and doing things together. If someone wants to spend time with you, they're interested in being physically present with you. You also talk and learn about each other. You find out how a person carries themselves, what their manners are like, what kind of meals they enjoy, what their hobbies are and if you like to participate in the same kinds of exercise. You find out if you have "chemistry." If you enjoy each others' company. You cannot determine this if you aren't physically with each other. This is where online relationships are sorely lacking. And why they can drag on far longer than RL dating where you find out in person quirks that drive you crazy and end the interaction.

  • kojikurac
    Real life dating was always better than online.

  • BigJake
    I never found it that hard to date online. Yeah, finding quality people online is tough, but that's true in person, too.
  • JDavid25
    Yeah I agree.. I mean I won't shut online down completely.. But tbh it kina sucks.. LOL.. I mean speakin as a straight male who seeks women, they can be pretty flakey, and like others have mentioned attention seekin.. I say one wrong thing, or one thing they don't like, or don't excite them enough, and they are gone.. I don't date much, and hardly been on any dates.. But it's much easier to talk to girls in real life, than to try online really.. If they are even a little cute, they probably get too much attention..
  • es20490446e
    It's just simpler to judge if you like someone if you can see them for real.
  • HornetsFan2099
    real life = real expectations ▫️▫️ you know that they are a real person and not just a photo
  • LuvAsh
    I'd rather date irl BUT not everyone's love of their life is around the corner so I mean, I think Online dating can work if you are smart about it. Because everything that can happen while dating irl can also happen while dating online. It just boils down to if both people are being truthful and people act like the people they meet face to face can't put on a whole front😂
    But if you're never planning on meeting then there's no point in online dating.
    There are pros and cons to dating in real life and dating online. It just depends on the individual. But i personally prefer irl.
  • MoneyBeets
    online dating is for fat lazy people with no social life.
  • Green_jelly91
    Hey I've been on some dating sites and never found anybody
  • PopeGregoryIX
    For me it's all about filtering people. I'm main carer for 2 children, so I don't get much chance to go out - certainly not regularly. It means I know that anyone I like already has kids (so they'll understand dating around those commitments) and that they'll accept me as they already know I have them.

    I like to think of it as an introduction. I'm very new to it, but I try to at least meet up for a coffee as soon as possible, because after the initial introduction you can't really get to know someone without meeting them in person, in my opinion.
  • Whocouldibe
    Oh my gosh the Asian fetish! Lol relatable
  • ChefCurry
    Online dating is for wackos
  • monkeynutts
    I have an Asian foot fetish.
  • HereIbe
    I happen to like axe-crazy.
  • Good take.
  • DevylasArsaukas76
    how does dating in real life even work these days?
  • fourhj256
    Cuz your bad at typing 😂😂I guess
  • samysyed
    Because it's ttue
  • Anonymous
    Online dating in real life is good, unless you don't come in contact with any single guys in a small town.
    • Anonymous

      That should be just, Dating* in real life...

    • Robert757

      That's the same situation I'm in here with girls. Much rather meet in person, but when you don't see anyone around ever, online dating it is.

  • Anonymous
    I agree with @Browneye57. Online dating is for weirdos..
    We're all weird in a sense but people who use these sites seem really creepy
  • Anonymous
    MGTOW lol
  • Anonymous
    What's the difference between a racial preference and a fetish?
    • Anonymous

      you know how much it sucks when some creepy old geezer says "i love asians! did you know my ex wife was Filipino, and we had 5 kids together? I just love Asians soooo much!" you probably would think what's the big deal cuz your a dude.

    • Anonymous

      Name anything you like about guys and convince me it's not a fetish...

    • Anonymous

      racial preference most of the time the guy will still respect you as a HUMAN BEING. A fetish (most of the time is the case) expects that person to behave a certain way because of their race and are objects of fantasies. I have yet to meet a guy that "only dates asians" treat their partners as more than a submissive trophy.

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