How to Spot a Player: A Few Signs to Watch for


Throughout my dating life, I've been a magnet to players. I attracted different types of guys, true, but the players are always out there, hunting.

I had a few bad experiences, but I learned my lessons. I am writing this to warn unexperienced girls from players.

player guys
player guys

These are a few typical characteristics of a player. It's not surprising that this type of men follow the same patterns, with little creativity.

The first sign is that he avoids specifying a day or time when you can meet.

This would be a torture for him. He has so many options 'out there', so many attractive women, so his 'dates' with you are necessarily unplanned because your are only one of his options. Typically, he will call or text you in the last minute. Another scenario is that he suggests a vague plan. For instance, he would tell you 'let's meet some time this week' and leaves it there.

The Second sign is that a player gets intimate with you very soon, and you probably find yourself so charmed by him.

Unfortunately, players are so brilliant in showering you with affection and care in the beginning, and this tends to translate very fast into intimacy. Most women feel heart-broken when a player pulls away after a few intimate 'dates', or when they indirectly ask for proper dates. This brings us to the third sign.

signs he is a player
signs he is a player

The third sign is that a player typically avoids showing affection to you in public places.

By affection, I mean something decent for a public place such as holding hands, hugging or so. For him, you are a 'prize', or rather, a prey he hunted down, not a woman he wants to be emotionally connected to. So the ideal date for him is the bedroom, straight. Or, in many cases, he would go out with you, but it should end up in sex. He sees you as a beautiful object to have and ' enjoy', not more than this. He will feel uneasy when you start noticing that this is not right and avoid being intimate with him. He will9 just disappear.

Finally, the last sign of a player is his lifestyle.

If you know early that this guy is 'too social', and he has like 1000 friends who are 'girls', you should run away straight. It's not that girls cannot be friends with men: it's that a guy who knows too many girls is suspicious. Don't think that he will fall for you and 'choose' you. It won't happen.

How to Spot a Player: A Few Signs to Watch for
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Most Helpful Guys

  • coachTanthony
    I don't believe women attract a certain type of person. That is a huge MYTH.

    Any woman is capable of going on a bad date with the wrong guy. The difference is that successful women in dating cut them off early. The moment they see a red flag they are out of there!

    Relationships often end the way they began... meaning whatever ends a relationship you could of seen in week one but you chose to ignore the red flags. It's not because you attract "The players"
    Like 11 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Janncis

      That is if they are looking for husband. In reality where i live, often its sex and maybe dating. No real room for games and stuff. I like you lets do it.

      I think for girls players are usefull to, i mean she probably won't feel as bad as if it happens with guy and he gets feelings for her. I mean he's a player, so you can play him to right? For them its a game after all.

    • Oram52

      But how is she suppose to change him then?

    • Janncis

      @Oram52 lol you can't change anyone but yourself.

  • DWornock
    Her definition of a player is a guy that is out of her league. That is what almost all young women want that because they chase after the hottest guys that will fuck them and reject guys within their league that would marry them. However, after fucking who knows how many guys and a dozen going nowhere relationships they learn that guys fuck down for sex but almost never marry down. That description fits her perfectly.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • BlueLights

      The problem with those worthy and probably marriage- minded guys is that they are too shy, to the extent that woman who is trying to flirt with them or expresses interest towards them will feel rejected, even if the guy's intention is not so. Confidence is a key, even a bit. This is why players easily get a woman's attention.

    • DWornock

      @BlueLights The fact is confidence is based on looks (also intelligence and athletic ability). Guys that have looks, etc. have always been successful with girls which is why they have confidence. Those that are not good looking are usually rejected and that is the reason they are shy. Therefore, confidence would not get a guy the time of day if he doesn't have adequate looks.

    • BlueLights

      Not necessarily. A lot of handsome guys are shy or reserved, and a lot of average guys are very confident.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • SweetDisaster
    First of all it's nice of you to share and teach young innocent ones. But honestly everything is different for everyone. Yes I have met players before but I'm not the stupid to fall for it. Everyone has different experiences. Some are good others are bad. The real lesson here is be
    cautious when it comes to dating. But also have an open mind to try new fun things.
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Other players can Also has learning disabilities. It make it more harder. Not all players are same. They all different depending on what you get.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • DWD1994
    This was obviously written by someone that doesn't understand how dating works as a guy. As a guy, dating is a numbers game. Its all about having to keep our basket full. That's why we talk to multiple women at once. If we get rejected, we immediately move onto a different girl we're talking to.

    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • Truthatanycost
    ''Throughout my dating life, I've been a magnet to players.''

    If you run that through an 'agency' translator you get ''Throughout my dating life, I've been attracted to players.''
    Like 2 People
  • CandacePerry
    My past experience with past. Relationships. They’re were too good at hiding it and just pretend to being interested. Didn’t have any sex yet. So most of them were cheaters/asshole
    Like 1 Person
  • Cherokeehp
    Players are super duper obvious. Anyone who can’t spot a player a mile away must be blind or super duper oblivious.
    Like 1 Person
  • Jackieboi
    And is there anything wrong with that? If you're interested go for him if not, as you can see, he has plenty of options. Just cause he doesn't give a f, or is a player like you call it, doesn't mean he can't be a goof boyfriend or partner if you're not like everyone else...
  • Avicenna
    Having a lot of dates doesn't necessarily make you a player. I do right now because I'm trying to meet someone compatible. Nor does wanting to be intimate quickly-lots of guys want that.
    Like 2 People
  • taleets
    I think if he is too smooth that is a major sign. If he has too much confidence as well.
    Like 1 Person
    • ChefCurry

      So you don’t like swave confident men from being insecure?

    • taleets

      I just think that they hit on a lot of girls if they have that much confidence

  • sexyasianboi26
    I don’t know about the other signs, but I do agree about the part that the goal is the bedroom.

    Look, I’m not some average joe. I’m an entrepreneur businessman. I’ve got a little empire going for myself. I have 10 rules that I live by, and 10 rules that I live by when it comes to dating. One of my rules, if I consider her potential serious LTR, and we have not had sex by the third date, I’m jumping ship. This is a rule for myself. My life is a no bs drama free zone, and that rule has prevented me from getting jerked around.

    So I probably have hurt girls in the past because of this. Like I said I’m a businessman. I don’t deal with people who are not clear on what they have to bring to the table.

    My 2 cents.
    Like 2 People
  • Gottabsavagee
    You forgot to mention: a player isn’t willing to make much effort for you. He will often offer to meet you somewhere near his place.

    Guy who is a player will also be hiding his phone from you.

  • UnlimitedGainz
    How to spot the impossible and make it possible and be successful in life and destroy haters?
    This is the question that i am asking my self in every breath i take. but your question have no response from people who have a big IQ.
    Like 1 Person
  • Kdude010
    Aren't these the same characteristics of those "bad boys" that women have said they love very much and would prefer it?

    So which is it ladies? You want a bad boy or not? Lol. Make up your mind
    Like 2 People
    • I think bad boys are EXCITING, and women choose them for awhile. But that trope gets old pretty fast. Nice guys are exciting in that they respect, love and take you to emotional heights that no bad boy is capable of doing because he doesn't give a shit. They play the long game, not the wham bang thank you ma'am. Some women want the hot and fast. More sensible ones choose the slow burn.

  • trishhhxx
    my friends with benefits is a player but he never wants to admit it - all these signs are true
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • englisc

      No shit. What kind of guy do you think looks for a friends with benefits?

    • trishhhxx

      @englisc oh no I know he is lmao were close enough for me to make fun of him but I'm saying when I do he doesn't admit it. and I look for exactly the qualities this guy has.

  • lightbulb27
    Not so sure about this. These are all signs of something.
    "avoids affection in public" I've seen them be overly affectionate in public. To me players are more about amping the energy at a given time to capture the woman in their charm, then moving on or responding back but never willing to go any further, as they got their prize.

    I think what you are really getting to is if he is interested in her, how much, or just using one as a drug. fix.

    Easy solution... hold boundaries until you get something in exchange, whether it is emotion, priority and possibly gifts... but that is easy for those with $.
  • Thatsamazing
    ... The term "player" is fucking dumb. This is really, REALLY simple: If you want to spend time with a guy, and he wants to too, then go ahead and do it. If you don't, then don't. If you want to have sex with a guy, and he wants to too, then go ahead and go it. If you don't, then don't.

    AFTER THE FACT, *he does not owe you something. He does not owe you anything.* Saying that a guy owes a girl something after he has sex with her, like a relationship or something, is no different than saying a girl owes a guy sex because he was nice to her. It's cripplingly fucking stupid, and utter nonsense. "Players" don't exist. Take fucking responsibility for your own body and your own actions.
    Like 2 People
  • Djaay
    Only a player herself can manipulate the other as the culprit. Most women will initiate the chase which leaves the men articulating through her game in order to announce himself , then she claims he's the player.
    You claim to alert other younger women to watch out for players yet usually the player is really the woman.
    The red flag is your a player trying to play a player and you want other younger to initiate your tools of the trade to eventually be as vindictive as your self.
    Funny how the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree

    Like 3 People
  • ChefCurry
    Thots gonna thot anyway. I'd rather be a player than a chump
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • 3rdSrike
    you're thinking too much about this, players are not actually players they just could do better and choose to do better.

    the guys that i know who sleep around usually have two fo these : Looks (tall, good looking, not fat), money, status
    if a guy is attractive enough and has enough money, most girls will want a piece of him so he bangs a number of them until he finds one he wants to keep, and he knows exactly what he wants even before talking to said woman, he doesn't have to sleep with her to know he wants her.

    usually when a woman calls a guy a player its cause he slept with her or got intimate but she didn't get a relatioship out of him, and most of the time that happens cause the woman is not attractive enough for him, or she slept around and he doesn't take her seriously.

    Women call men that are out of their leagues "Players" because they can never keep such men interested for long and look for a logical explaination for their behaviour.
    Like 2 People
  • armleg
    Well I might be COMPLETELY unsuccessful in love, but at least I'm not a player!
    Like 1 Person
    • I'd suggest learning what they've learned, as they've decoded female behavior. Then be your best self, whatever it is you want to be.

  • Powerpuffgirl97
    Do players end up falling for a girl? If a guy only notices you when you don’t pay attention to him does that make him a player?
  • surrealZuenveld
    this is clearly what u want.. i think you're neglecting your deepest urges
  • AuroraRoseat
    I think these are all rational warning signs.
    Like 1 Person
  • kim45456
    So how to spot a male slut?
  • ask4any
    Oh, get over yourself
  • Princeofaljaz
  • MensBest
    Creeper phone look for those
  • Anonymous
    And don't be fooled by all these novels and movies where the player chooses the girl in the end. It's called fiction for a reason.
  • Anonymous
    We're not a magnet to players. Players seek us out, try to seduce us for their own benefit, then move on to someone else when they're tired of us or (as it says in the book "Woman to Women", free from archive. org) when someone thinner/curvier, younger, prettier, etc. comes along.
  • Anonymous
    It's easy women throw themselves at any "hot" guy no matter how much of an ass he obviously is... the Players know that and just move along from one shallow idiot to the next... The country needs a Player serial killer... brutally killing the shallow women who practically undress upon seeing him... I'd chip in on legal fees
  • Anonymous
    As a player, I have to say you still have a lot to learn about us, we are craftier than this, lol
    Disagree 2 People
  • Anonymous
    How to spot a player:

    DON'T be a fucking idiot lmao
    Disagree 1 Person
  • Anonymous
    How to spot a player in ONE point.
    1. He has all the traits and mannerisms that women find attractive in a male.

    * Is charismatic/charming. (has lots of friends and people like him)
    * Gets female attention (women love pre-selection)

    Women aren't attracted to the quiet loner, and the guy no female wants.

    As much as women say they don't want a player... you actually DO
    You don't want the quiet shy nerd, or the awkward overly sensitive loner.

    You want the slightly arrogant... sorry "confident", popular, "stud" but you want him to magically stop being a player when he meets you because you want to believe you are so amazing to him that he doesn't want anyone else. It's narcissism at it's finest.

    Like 1 Person
  • Anonymous
    I worked with a guy for 3 years who was like this totally. He even had the Corvette and all. He had a way of meeting the ladies in the night clubs. Typically he'd date one woman for a week and then dump her for the next. Someone caught on to his stuff and etched obscenities into the doors of his car. He drove around town with that for awhile. I think that he thought it was a "badge of honor"...
  • Anonymous
    Funny if a guy does the exact opposite of everything that is listed above he will most likely get rejected and/or friend zoned.

    As for the intimacy part. Girls there are so many good guys out there who would like to take things slow and get to know you the way you SAY you want to be treated. But that leads to the friend zone 9 out of 10 times. So many of us feel like we got no choice but to make a move early.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • Anonymous
    of course you went after the hot guys
    90% of the hot guys are players

    same with hot girls
    most are worthless
    there are very few good ones
    Like 2 People
  • Anonymous
    If you want to avoid a player stay away from tall, handsome guys.
    Average or below average looking guys can't be players even if they wanted to. Its hard enough to attract just one woman
    Like 2 People
    • kim45456

      What is a tall man for you? Can an average looking, tall and broke males players too?

  • Anonymous
    So is a player the male version of a slut?
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • No, because there is no "male version" of a slut.

    • Anonymous

      @Thatsamazing Why is that?

    • Because per evolutionary biology, males are supposed to have sex with lots of females. The other way around is not the same.

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