Guys: Why you should pick the average-looking girl over the pretty girl in the room!

latinabutterfly96

If you've hopped into Google or G@G and you've typed "Why do I always get rejected by girls" (or something along those lines)...

Guys: Why you should pick the average-looking girl over the pretty girl in the room!
I mean, really?
I mean, really?

...And you might've even felt the embarrassment of even having to admit that you are getting rejected, but you know you're not alone. Because most guys face rejection anyway. And a lot of theories have been made as to why this happens.

Reasons given include:

- "He's just better than me"

- "Girls just like guys who don't treat them well."

- "Some guys are just more alpha or better suited or more socially adept"

- "Some guys simply have more status or money than me".

SMH.
SMH.

Do you know what that is called? A Bias in Attribution.

In Psychology, Attribution is the way a person explains certain situations or events. For example, if I keep getting bad grades in all my assignments, a bias in attribution would be me saying "I know why I keep getting bad grades. It's because the school is not suited to teach us properly." I'm overemphasizing the dispositional factors (i.e., the environmental or external factors around me, rather than looking at myself.)

And no, I'm not about to tell you to be more confident. I know you've already heard that a million times before.

Within the field of social cognition, there have been various studies conducted trying to understand how socialization occurs from a very early age. Women are especially socialized to behave and think in a different way than men. For us, we have been told by everyone in society to look for a guy who can provide for us, the guys who are popular or rich, the handsome guys, etc. Guys, on the other hand, have been influenced by society to look for the pretty girl in the room, instead of looking for a girl who will be there for him, who will be loyal to him, a girl who is a good person.

Im sure youve seen this image before. It has a lot of truth to it!
I'm sure you've seen this image before. It has a lot of truth to it!

So why does this happen?

There are social, cognitive and biological factors that work together in this dynamic. But I think most of us can agree than men usually choose a girl based on her looks first (as influenced by his culture, family, friends, etc.). The catch is that these same girls know they have so many options, which is why they take full advantage of it!

If you think girls just passively wait for guys to approach them or if you think girls just "choose" guys... I wish you the best of luck, because that's not the case. Women are more subtle than guys in this area, but the more options the woman has, the more power she has to control these "options" (YOU!) and to get whatever she wants from them. It's how women "play the game".

Many men think it goes like this:

*Man approaches woman*

*Woman accepts his invitation for a date*

*Woman sees if he's a good guy and if he's confident enough to feel that he's worth it*

*Man tries to prove himself*

*Man fails to prove himself, and wonders why he got rejected*

....

Sorry to inform you, but that's not how it goes. At all.

More like:

*Man approaches woman*

*Woman already knew a man was going to approach her*

*Man asks her out on a date*

*If she senses that she can get something out of him, she accepts*

*They go on the date, and she is 100% sure she can at least get some goodies out of him*

*Man thinks he went on an actual date, when in reality the girl just played the role of "judge" rather than "date"*

Theyre the same person, but if they werent, which one do you think would be asked out more by a guy?
They're the same person, but if they weren't, which one do you think would be asked out more by a guy?

The Average Girl vs. The Pretty Girl

I know that these days, a lot of men say that they prefer average-looking girls. But, if the girls above were two different people, who would you ask out first if they were both in the same room with you? Or, which one would you at least be more interested in (without necessarily asking them out)?

Exactly...

Why? Looks.

But, see, girls who are highly attractive know that they are. And they really do understand their power. Which is why in the end, they leave you hanging, making you feel like you did something wrong.

"Maybe I should be more confident"

"Maybe I'm not good enough".

Do not beat yourself up like this. Stop doing that.

Most likely, you did nothing wrong. It's just that they know their power. In their mind, you're easily replaceable. (You aren't, and you should know that you aren't).

The "Average" Girl

Seriously, take my advice. Go for the more average-looking girl. She's probably a better person and won't want to manipulate you like this anyway. I've noticed that average-looking girls still get male attention, but they don't try to manipulate it like the "prettier" girls do. (This doesn't always happen, there are of course highly attractive girls who are good, genuine people. But I'll be honest with you - I've seen everything and done everything, and I rarely see a pretty girl who doesn't manipulate the guys at first).

Alternative option: you can also do something amazing that can't be replaced, like something very valuable that you can give these girls, only so that they can pick you over anyone else. But... that would be you lacking self-respect and being so eager to please women that you've lost your sense of self.

Choose wisely guys. <3

Guys: Why you should pick the average-looking girl over the pretty girl in the room!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Bribree18
    I loved this piece. This is exactly how most guys (especially younger ones, more in my age range lol) are. I’m just like dang, y’all really want a girl who’s gonna do you dirty when you could date me, an averagely pretty female, who will treat you infinitely better because I haven’t had the same attention from men all my life that made me think it’s a birth right. I, or the average girl, is way more likely to value a good man than the pretty girl is because of the knowledge that they don’t get every and any guy they want. So, men, approaching the more average girl is definitely safer in regards to protecting your feelings, having insurance against cheating, etc.
    LikeDisagree 8 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • TremorJay

      You're pretty cute, but men aren't looking for the safe route, they're looking for motivation

    • Bribree18

      Averagely pretty should still be motivating, you know?

    • TremorJay

      This is true, the real motivation comes when you actually get to know the person and things click. So yeah, men should broaden their horizons, but before this post I had no reason to believe that they didn't consider average girls.

      Basically I look at a girl and I'm either attracted or not. If I am, then I ask myself if she's attainable. I'm way more likely to talk to an average looking girl than a near model

    • Show All
  • Wowgirl30q
    Nice miss I agree
    Looks fade
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Girl you know whats up! It's a general Take, I know there are lots of people that aren't this way. It's just a very general thread. I encourage everyone else to not take it too seriously!

    • Wowgirl30q

      I didn't see anyones damn name on it?🤷
      Weirdo's my chick. Straight up living in the basement weirdos and girls that need a midol it seems.

    • Wowgirl30q

      I'm proud of you. About time someone besides me got the guys on here's panties in a wod. Right one about masculinity if you really wanna laugh❤️👍

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • DanOh2018
    Interesting read, it's pretty accurate, as soon as the manipulating behavior starts though I'm usually out, as women aren't the only ones with options, though it is true that men come by them harder.
    LikeDisagree 14 People
    Is this still revelant?
  • COMMODOREII
    I like long hair better. 😎
    Like 8 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1980
  • SydneySentinel
    Everyone is replaceable when you date for looks alone. Don't go for the average girl or the pretty girl-- find a deeper connection than just what appeals to the eye.
    Like 1 Person
    • Slokes

      Looks are the first thing you notice whether you believe it or not. Its right in front of you, how do you not see it? Its always looks first, personality second.

  • EmbraceThePain
    You know what’s never mentioned? When you displayed that picture of the difference between the male and female profile, where the female profile seems to get more attention than the male profile there’s arguably a shallow, heartless, or cold reason for that. I think the reason is rooted in men primarily caring about a woman’s sexual value. In other words, a man only cares about having sex with this woman and nothing more. Almost all of those men messaging that women want one thing from her and most likely wouldn’t care if she passed away, got severely ill, etc. I’m sure the women know this, which is why I they don’t answer or respond to all of those calls of intimacy by men via private messaging, because she’ll be abandoned after they all get what they want. This is why I think men are more shallow than women, because almost everything is centered around the woman’s appearance.
    -Why does free lady’s night at bars and clubs exist? Because men want more female bodies to ogle at and mingle with while at these venues.
    -Why do strip clubs featuring women disproportionately exist as opposed to the reverse? Because the female body is routinely objectified and displayed as an item to be looked at, touched, etc.
    -Why are boxing ring girls half naked? Same with cheerleaders? Because women are seen as objects in the larger society
    -Why aren’t women taken seriously when it comes to serious decision-making or leadership roles as opposed to men? Because she’s only valued and known for one thing.
    I can probably go into more depth, but I’ll leave it at that.
    Of course, the really attractive women get most of the male attention; however, if an average or below average woman gets a lot of male attention then it can be partly attributed to her being uber sexual or sexually easy so men find her to be an easy sexual target, lay, score, etc. I suppose it compensates for her averageness or below averageness.
    Like 1 Person
    • And you think women don’t take full advantage of that? Of course they do. This is a take for those men who always keep wondering why they always get rejected. Women know they’re objectified, but the one thing they do is use that to control men. Which is why I made this Take.

    • Well, some women know and take advantage of it, while others aren’t aware of the intentions of men.

    • Eh.. women are actually aware; we all know that men are dominated by their hormones when they’re young, which is why we take advantage of it without them knowing. But some men aren’t aware of the intentions of women (by some I mean a fucking lot)

    • Show All
  • Somethingwittty
    Everyone has the right to be with someone their attracted to and someone they stay attracted to. You sorta sound like a salty "nice girl" here. No offense
    LikeDisagree 11 People
    • I don't even think she's nice...

    • That's why she's a "nice girl" lol. Its a metaphor for a salty woman.

  • Hal2002
    While what a lot of what you say it true, the part about dating the average girl is bull shit.
    How an average or pretty girl will treat you, all depends on her confidence and how she values herself.
    I know average girls that think they are the bomb in appearance, and understand the power their sexuality has and they use it to their advantage.
    I know pretty girls that consider themselves average in appearance, and don't either understand the power of their sexuality has or don't use it as a weapon.
    This question was asked of me when I was a younger man, and first starting out in the dating war.
    Their are 3 women sitting by t hemselves, an average looking girl, a pretty girl a plane jane, which do you approach?
    Most guys would go for the average girl, why? Because she is in most guys comfort zone, when it comes to approaching a woman. But because she is in the comfort zone of most guys, she is in demand and you are going to have to come with your A-game with her.
    You strike out with ms. average.
    You than look at plane jane, why? Because she is also in most guys comfort zone, when it comes to approaching a women. But while she is in the comfort zone of most guys, she is not as desirable by guys and she knows it. So she knows when you approach her, you are looking at her as a last resort or you are desperate. So with her again you better bring your A-game, because you are going to have to work even harder to get her because she knows you are only after one thing from her and she is going to make you work to get it.
    Than you have the pretty girl, she is outside of most guys comfort zone. Most guys will watch her, but not approach because she is outside their comfort zone. But pretty girl in a lot of cases if the most approachable, because most guys will not make a move on her because she is outside their comfort zone and they think she will just reject them out of hand.
    I have found that with most pretty girls, I can be myself and I don't have to run any game let alone my A-game. I have been asked before when I dated a pretty girl, how did I pull that. I always laugh and truthfully answer, I introduced myself and than asked her out.
    Like 2 People
  • NYCstreetPhotog
    There are no leagues! I approach women that most men would think are way out of my "leaugue", models, lawyers, architects, dancers, thesbians, you name it, I've talked to them, and often get at the very least a conversation. Normally though I get a date out of it.

    Now, there is one difference in my approach to things than most, I'm not entirely looking for a date, and I'm not ussually looking for a lover either. I'm looking to make a connection with someone, share a couple laughs, and perhaps find dealer connection, but if not, no problem.

    To me, quantity will bring quality. No rejection feels entirely good, but I'm old enough, and experienced enough to know it happens, no matter what.

    I feel, society has brainwashed the masses into thinking there are better people and worse people based on looks, jobs, etc. I do believe there is no equality, only equity, but the things equity are based on are much more quantifiable, like effort put forth, good deeds, improvement of others around you, etc.

    In the end, I don't sweat a rejection, and I don't limit myself to just a certain type of person.
    Like 3 People
  • nella965
    I want to be brutally honest with you. I think ANYONE would go for the better looking person (if they were both complete strangers). It doesn't matter if you're a man or woman. Women chase attractive looking men too but you think we don't because our media doesn't tend to talk about it.

    People only go for the more attractive person because its biological nature. But in the scenario where the chaser is familiarly acquainted with both the attractive and less attractive person. He/ she is not likely simply gonna act on looks alone. Most people in general do take personality in to consideration. I know this from experience.

    But here's the funny thing about going after super attractive people, they are a lot more likely to REJECT. Because you've got to realize that these folks have EVERYONE going for them. And just because you're chasing them, it doesn't mean that you're gonna get them. I've seen this so many times. Guys think that just because they hit on a girl, then that means he has a chance.

    Attractiveness is also not a sign that you will fall in love with him or her. Immature people with less life experience tend to believe that if they find someone hot, then that they would start having a real crush already. But looks do not mean that you will be the happiest around them. It doesn't mean they will totally light you up on the inside or give you the best night of your life. You will learn this from life experience.

    But also keep in mind that physical attractiveness means more to certain individuals than others. Some people can't even have sex if they don't find their partners to reach their minimum standard of attractiveness. Meanwhile , looks might mean less to others.

    Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. Just because you don't find someone attractive, it DOES NOT mean that nobody else finds them attractive. I've had moments where guys were obsessed over my looks and other times when guys think I'm average looking.
    Like 1 Person
  • GreatnessBack
    Honestly, those inta models and bad bitches look pretty basic to me.
    They all look the same with no variation. I'm so used to seeing and nearly dating them, I'm good.
    Also, I don't think the average girl is actually average. They are the norm. The ones I mentioned are more abnormal. Lol
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • Sunshine_1985
    Interesting article but I think it’s a little over-analyzing things. Different people have different opinions of what is attractive to them. Maybe instead of analyzing the issue everyone just be nice and say “hi” to someone they don’t know.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • If you know enough men, and actually listen to their issues, you’ll know it’s not that simple.

  • Ripper_E
    First of all, there is no such thing as an average looking girl as there is no average look.
    Second, attractive women DO NOT always, in fact often don't, know they are attractive. Why? You cannot be attractive unless you are found attractive by another person, and women tend to be very self conscious and insecure.
    Third, personality has nothing to do with looks. The so called average looking girl can be a total count while the attractive one is a sweetheart, or vice versa.
    Like 5 People
    • This makes more sense to me.

    • nella965

      You're wrong. I know you might find it hard to believe (I did too). In my past experience, the most beautiful girls are also the most insecure. Trust me, they DO know they're beautiful. Because they hear it all the time from their friends, family, relatives, lingering looks from strangers. The most attractive ones tend to be most jealous, insecure because they don't love themselves for who they are. All they have ever been known for in life is only their looks and nothing else. They also know that looks will fade and won't last forever. Lastly, they also know that there will always be someone else out there who is better looking than them.

    • @nella965 that’s not true at all. Not everyone who is good looking fails to find value elsewhere in their lives. This is such a blanket statement it’s become illogical. Yes, some may feel like that, eapecially tounger ones, but I definitely don’t believe it to be the majority! People naturally find value in more than life beyond superficial things as they mature.

  • Optymistyk
    Yeah well I still want pretty girls. Why? Cuz they're sexy. I know they have high standards. They have the right to. It's simple economics, they have many options so their "prices" are high. I don't mind that they want successful men, men want sexy women. So you can either whine how unfair it is or join the rat race. A mans life is always a race.

    I wouldn't let a girl manipulate me. I'm not that easy and I have options myself. She has to earn my resources or she will be the one who gets replaced.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • "So you can either whine how unfair it is or join the rat race. A mans life is always a race."

      I'm not whining. I'm talking to the men who are. The men who don’t understand why they keep getting rejected. This is why.

      Ok, well, if you can get any girl you want, then this Take isn't for you. The door's right there, bye!

  • englisc
    "Because everyone tells women about it. Society has a mindset of “protect women from men”, so they let us know (directly or indirectly) what the intentions of some young men are. But society never tells men what women do to manipulate them. Society NEVER does that; which is why so many men (an amount too high to be even acceptable at this point) fall victim to women and these women get away with it so easily."

    You hit the nail on the head in this comment. Even worse, many women will try their best to keep men naive about this also.
    Like 2 People
    • dipta

      Well, I'm not sure I agree because one thing is "society" and another thing is "common sense".

      But when it comes to their love interest (women) being gorgeous as well as manipulative, men are usually the ones coming up with excuses and other stereotypes, no matter how much people (usually their lady friends) try to warn them.
      "She's just jealous because my girlfriend is much more beautiful. And she is so beautiful **drools, drools**"

      "Women this beautiful cannot be that smart"

      "I'm super smart, I cannot be deceived by a girl"

      And, well

      "So what if I'm taking advantage of? I have money. At least I'm having FUN and spending time with a gorgeous woman... "

      "I'm still the man of the house"

    • @dipta Lol yeah that happens too sometimes. I should write a Take about that

    • englisc

      @dipta

      That is true, but even that comes from their naive ideas about women. When it comes to most things, especially today, men are basically taught men = bad, women = good. As are women to some extent.

      Much of this happens as we grow up, that's when our beliefs are really programmed into us, especially as teens while we're filled with hormones and are trying to figure out the opposite sex. For women it's "look after yourself, avoid players". For men it's "be really nice to women, treat them with respect, don't be a dick". So while women will mostly approach guys with suspicion, guys will assume that most women only have good intentions. We're taught that guys are the ones who fuck with women's heads and do fucked up stuff, while women are the mature ones who just want to meet a nice guy and have a relationship.

      Then they grow up, and they start dating. It's really rare for female friends to warn them about women in the way you describe. Then even if/when they do, you're battling against the things he's been conditioned to believe in growing up. That's why he makes such excuses. Not because he thinks he's smart, but because he's so naive.

      So to women like yourself, knowing what women like, you're like "yeah no shit there are women like that. That should be common sense". Most young guys, having not been spoken to about this stuff, have no clue.

    • Show All
  • samael_kmarty
    It's equally difficult for guys because of some bad or bullies.
    In my city girls prefer a bully over a normal , simple guy.
    It not always on looks factors like body, respect in society, bully behaviour, or the feel of being suppressed etc are also affecting.
    at least what I have seen is guys with looks have a bully attitude or have a social status.
    Normal people are just present, trying to get someone to like them.
    It's like this if you are good in a subject the subject teacher loves u and u are there favourite student, are other who really suck at the subject are left out.
    Same goes with relationship. The person who is really good, responsible , caring mostly are singles, the the girls starts bragging that all guys are same , they just want sex, they don't care about u or your problems.
    And please never judge a book by it's cover,
    Never think that guy is very good and other is just there.
    The most successful relationships are with those who aren't confident.
    Like 1 Person
  • Bella9191
    Ahaha. I think it’s quite simple to be honest, 90 percent of the time when guys ask girls out they get rejected because they are asking someone significantly better looking than they are out. Seriously cmon. You may be in that 10 percent but I doubt it. Iv had many many mates and the ones that ask women out who are similar looking to them have few problems.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • DianaWest

      i think it's possible fro an average guy to get a gorgeous girl. i think it's very possible for a 6 or 7 to get a 10 girl. (he can't be ugly though. highly doubt that a 2 or 3 can land a 10). anyways, he just needs to befriend the girl first. talk to her. support her. be kind and sweet. obviously not bend over backwards, but i find that the more you get to know a guy's personality, the more you can fall in love with him. i. e. people have said i am an 8 or 9, but i fell for a 6 guy. was not initially attracted to him. but i got to know what a great guy he was. a rarity these days.

  • westwordbound
    Good advice. It’s a lot easier for a guy to be himself around an average looking girl because he doesn’t care one way or another she likes him. ”You do everything right when you have low interest level” - Doc Love

    With that said physical attraction can be a serious issue for both genders, especially guys. I have dated average looking women before because I valued their personalities, lifestyle choices and above all they RESPECTED and liked me.

    With that said this got problematic as time goes on. Many guys will sleep with an average woman in the beginning and have no problem, especially if they haven’t had sex in a while. But as time goes on this gets tougher and tougher. I’ve been in two long term relationships were I felt my desire to sleep with her nose dive after only a few months. In both scenarios I tried to force myself to stay in it, because they both treated me well. But eventually they caught on to the issue and it really hurt them. It hurt ME to hurt them.

    She has to be attractive enough to realistically mirror what I offer physically.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • cheapshotbob
    thats not always the case i have seen butt ugly guys who were happily married
    to extremely beautiful women and it was love and had nothing to do with these explanations you gave. but they are helpful for the guys who are not that lucky in dating lol.
  • scholastic_vibez
    An average looking girl will more likely love you more passionately with a deeper affection because she feels like wow, he likes me in spite of my flaws, and physical imperfections. But, I’m a sapiosexual myself, and I’m attracted more to a charming personality, and intelligence more than just a pretty face.
    Disagree 2 People
  • Stazz76
    I have to agree that 'pretty' girls can be manipulative and users, and if you're really scared of being manipulated and used, then here's some good advice:https://www.youtube.com/embed/H1UqAbeDsjIHowever, there's a lot more to what makes a person attractive than looks, and not all pretty girls are manipulative and users, and not all average women are nice, and what looks good is subjective anyway!
    Disagree 1 Person
  • LovingNerd
    TL:DR

    (Actually, the title says it all.)

    Short answer - Cloud Walkers and Ground Dwellers are, and always will be, incompatible.

    Long answer - Hang with friends. No pressure to perform. No anxiety to impress. No expectations to contend with. Be yourself. Finding a compatible partner is not rocket science. It is "clicking" with someone you're "friends" with.
  • Kaazsz
    I’d say the pics you used, your “average” girl is just ugly, and your pretty girl is actually average. I think average girls are pretty. I think you put a woman’s perspective on this. For women the average man is ugly apparently. But I think most men are perfectly fine with an average girl. Average girls are attractive. Ugly girls are not. You compared an average and a ugly girl you need better pictures.
    • The two pictures are the same girl. It's just that the one on the right has makeup. LOL

    • Kaazsz

      So an ugly girl put on makeup. Good for her. I know plenty of average girls who look as cute as she does with makeup, but without it.

    • Kaazsz

      I think the majority of women are attractive. Average girls are attractive. I don’t know about average men for y’all, but it’s not the same for us.

  • pervertedjester
    Girls: Why you should pick the fat guy over some skinny prick... https://www.youtube.com/embed/wxYg151urLo
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • 2011 - before iPhone. Times have changed

    • You should do a counter mytake for this one. Yours would be more accurate anyway.

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