Attractive Girls Vs. Average Girls

[pavlove]

Enter the mind of the most common American male. Now you're in his head as he's being put in a room. And now there's a party going on in this room. And now there's two girls are only with one or two other people...looking a little bored or lost. One girl is pretty attractive...what he would consider an 8 or 9. The other is what he would consider maybe a 5 or 6 if he were being generous. Now, it should be noted, the common American male isn't that confident and also hates being rejected. So who does he walk up to and who will more likely be receptive to him if he does?

Many guys will go after the unattractive girl...why? Because they fear they won't be accepted by the hot girl. It doesn't make sense...a hot girl liking him right off the bat. The fear of going for it and it not working out is so paralyzing because he wants it so bad, whereas the average girl...it's whatever.

Here's another thing--he mistakenly believes the average girl will feel lucky to be hit on by him. He thinks in some twisted way that she will be like "omg a hot guy talked to me!" He thinks it's a layup and he thinks the attractive girl is a half court shot...oh the irony.

Average homegirl thinks you're patronizing her, or maybe making fun of her, or maybe just talking to her for a quick lay because you couldn't possibly be taking a girl like her seriously.

You're in the room now and, if you're lucky, she's only blowing off the common American male who's chosen to talk to her over the very pretty girl (by most classic standards) if you're not lucky she's literally verbalizing that she knows "what you're doing" and not having any of it and then you sort of shirk away to get another drink hoping no one saw that crash and burn and wondering what the hell is her problem. Why does this happen so often with the average ones? They believe they're average even more than you do and so it's classic rejecting you before she gets rejected syndrom. We as humans have strong held beliefs that we hold as facts. It's scary to think you could be serious and it's easier to dismiss it even if she came to the party for the single purpose of meeting an attractive guy.

So common American Male--don't put average girls on a pedestal as nicer than pretty girls. Yes, pretty girls tend to be more flighty because of their huge amount of options but they also tend to be nicer (in my experience.)

***This take is based highly on empirical evidence and in no way stands as a conclusive fact or definition about what to expect from average vs. pretty girls. This is what i believe most men will encounter in general, but of course there are insecure pretty girls and very confident average girls but they are not the majority. Also pretty vs average is obviously a subjective term...i don't like using the word ugly so i use the word average...

[oldanddecrepid]

You seem to take a lot of flack for the use of the word average... just a suggestion but maybe your next take just use less attractive or reasonably good looking.

In my opinion girls who reasonably good looking are often easier to approach because of their demeanor. They tend to be more friendly and outgoing. Girls who are pretty often give off a vibe that they are untouchable. Perhaps they are overcompensating because they actually get approached less (based on your theory to), not sure?

Overall, I think you have some valid points, but I think what it ultimately comes down to is attitude. If you are the guy and you have a - I could care less about my ego attitude - and just try, then you could very well end up with a great looking girl. If you err on the side of caution all the time... then you end up with whom you were intended based on the level of effort you made.

Regardless of pretty, not as pretty and not so pretty at all... picking the girl up is just the beginning, it is who she is after you have spent some time with her that makes her the woman you either stay with or continue looking.

[carinerose]

First of all, great take. As a male, you had the chance to "enter" a girl's mind and see what was going on in there.
I can agree that average girls tend to be more difficult (in the sense of personality) than pretty girls for the same reasons you stated. But it's not true for everyone and some of these average girls are not even looking for a lay (reason why, maybe, they do look "average" at that particular time). I do believe everyone can look somehow "hot" at a party. It's easier to dissimulate.
Anyway, as a pretty average girl myself (I'll let others decide lol), when I go at parties, I don't expect to be talk to by anyone. I don't necessarily send off "fuck off" vibes, but I don't try to smile at any guy who's not in my group of friends because one night stands are really not my thing--though I did kiss and flirt with numerous guys before.

[carinerose]

And this "Many guys will go after the unattractive girl... why? Because they fear they won't be accepted by the hot girl. It doesn't make sense... a hot girl liking him right off the bat." is you thinking exactly like the average girl. Why would a hot guy like her right off' the bat?

[pavlove]

exactly and it's doubly ironic because not only are pretty girls generally nicer and more receptive to flirting than your average guys thinks... average girls are many times a lot less receptive in comparison because of the insecurities i mentioned among other things.

you're right I'd say the same applies to guys. Sure, you have your occasional really attractive guy who's also super outgoing but often times a really attractive guy likes being flirted with and is sincere when he flirts because he thinks people should want to flirt with him/tends to be more passive than average guys etc.

[JanetJa]

Interesting how you used a picture of Katherine and Catherine as I always found Katherine more attractive. I know, crazy right? Especially when she was in a wedding dress with her glasses off. The point of the game wasn't to say "Would you rather be with an average girl and live a stable life? Or would you rather be with a hot girl and live a chaotic/negative life?" No. It was more like, both women were equally attractive but the choice laid in "Would you rather be happy in the long term? Or would you rather seek momentary pleasure?" as the story was about infidelity (momentary pleasure).

Anyway! Sorry! I just enjoyed the game myself. In any case, I agree with you. Men DO go after average and even ugly women because they're either too scared to go after the bombshell, or just flat out assume she has a lot of casual sex due to how attractive she is and gets turned off by that in terms of a relationship. Men don't want to be in relationships with women who they think are whores to put it simply. But attractive women end up being approached less. I saw this countless times in clubs and malls. I even felt anger that my crush would prefer dating this absolute troll of a girl with a nasty personality to boot over someone like me (he was already in a relationship with her when I met him).

There are two types of average girls. The first one is OVERLY receptive to flirting and attention. She's obnoxious. She's loud. She never gets attention so when she finally does, she promotes it to the world. Rubs it in the pretty girls' faces. Thinks that she's suddenly more attractive despite simply being easier.

The second one is, as you stated, bitter and cynical. She's insecure. She thinks that guy couldn't like her. When she finally gets with him, she's a fucking mess. Always negative and moaning. Bitchy about how you looked at another girl for too long despite you being with her. You can never have sex with her without her crying about a roll or mark. It's exhausting.

How do I know this? I'm bi, and it goes both ways. The reaction stays the same. I hated dating and fucking insecure girls, and I also hated the obnoxious ones outside of the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I'm going to say thank you, despite all these irritated reactions out here. And I'll be anonymous because what I have to say will be highly disliked and I don't feel like dealing with that.

I have been feeling really insecure about my boyfriend. We met in college, at first very briefly but we still did meet. And we only 'got together' after about 2 months, when he actually paid more attention to me and actively started pursuing me. Until then he casually fucked what are, in my opinion, girls from freaking ugly to average looking. And I always felt that somehow I was his last choice. In my opinion, I am very attractive. (I can't say this without people interpreting it as arrogance, when in fact it's honesty.) So the idea offended me deeply.
Afterwards, I would catch him looking at girls' pictures on FB, again, from average to ugly, and I would feel offended. He did try to explain that it's a self esteem issue and that he never thought of me as a last resort, but rather as someone out of his league. I thought this was bogus and that he invented that to get me off his case. But I believe you may just have contributed a little to the bettering of my relationship. And to the death of my insecurities.

[pavlove]

this makes me really happy to hear. i'm glad you read this exactly how i meant it and it made a difference however small to your life!

[Opinion Owner]

yes :) it did. it helped me consider that he might have actually been honest, not just try to make me feel better, and that helps a lot.

[Ana_Moonsong]

I completely understand. However, I’m 100% sure that he was telling the truth. Guys tend to have low self esteem just like girls do, and will approach average/ugly girls as a result. Although I am sure that this is not the case for everyone.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Average girls are manipulative. I don't need to guess that the pretty ones are mean. They usually make it pretty obvious how mean they are. They think in their teens and 20s that they can get away with having shitty attitudes toward everyone, because they're just that good-looking.

Then, they enter their 30s and that all changes. Suddenly, they look like the garbage they've been behaving like, and cannot for the life of them turn themselves around. They become ugly inside-and-out.

I've also found it strange that girls who backstab me in some way, especially pretty ones, their entire lives fall into ruin just as soon as I'm out of the picture, as if God himself were exacting vengeance on them.

Their money evaporates, their health suddenly vanishes, their voices become frog-like, they break out in zits, they gain weight rapidly, and they remain cruel hags. Where once they could forge a fake smile my way while plotting ill, suddenly they can barely contain their hatred. And they always seem to think it was my fault, when I didn't do jack to them.

I tell you, with some of them, if the transformation happened any faster, it'd be like Evanora in Oz the Great and Powerful when her necklace gets broken.

[BrunetteNYC]

Wow you must have been rejected a lot by girls in that age group to be so bitter. I am in my 40's now and am STILL hit on by guys of all ages all the time. No woman 'in her 30's' looks like garbage, what kind of manipulative BS is that?

I think lots of insecure men not getting laid try to scare younger women with this brainwashing garbage so they will have lower standards and take the fat/ugly guy out of fear.

Truth is, women are more viable just as long (if not longer) than men are sexually, looks-wise, etc., and no way - NO WAY is any female in her 30's considered 'ugly' outside of the jerk-off she might have rejected.

Men lose a lot as they get older, trust me, I have dated them, I know... sexually they aren't as good, they get needy, jealous, fatter, etc. But not until 40's and beyond.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@BrunetteNYC: You had to have been there. Of everyone I went to school with throughout my life, maybe half of them at best turned out well. A brief and inexhaustive history of me:

- Girl of '95: Grew up to be a whore.
- Of '98: Screwed every guy except me. Last I saw her, she gave up on faith, boys, etc. Decided she preferred beer.
- Of '02: Left me for the thug life. Died of a drug overdose in 2013.
- Of '05: Got a job and decided she didn't need me anymore.
- Of '06: Failed attempt to get me railroaded on false charges behind my back one year later. She still disgusts me.
- Of '08: Turned out to be some Ronoverian priestess. Things didn't work out.
- Of '09: Missed her ex too much. Ditched me.
- Of '11: Cheated on me.
- Of '13: LDR, didn't work out.
- Of '14: Left me for a woman.
- Of '14, pt. 2: Was just using me for a video game.

In 2015, I settled for just friends, no girlfriend. And still learned some of them couldn't be trusted.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@BrunetteNYC: I'm in the Lansing area in Michigan. Which, if you really do live in NYC as your username suggests, is more like Jersey City than the actual Big Apple. (At least it's not Detroit. That city has no hope!)

My mom has started arranging gals for me to meet, because she feels she can find better fits for me than I can find for myself. She's quite frankly tired of seeing me get strung-along, abused, and taken advantage of by "overrated, glorified white trash."

[BrunetteNYC]

Good for you mom to step in and help. Sorry you live in a town where all you have to pick from, in your book, is white trash. Maybe you need to relocate and stop being a momma's boy.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@BrunetteNYC : I'm not. However, it is hard to find a job that allows me to pay for all my living expenses. I need to stay close to family on slow work weeks, or else I'd be unable to eat or pay rent on my paltry paychecks. In return for keeping me off the street, they do meddle a lot in my life. That being said, I didn't ask for her help in finding a date. She went out of her way to find the current gal, because she has faith that gal and I are a good fit. And when asking about my progress, is tired of hearing horror stories.

[VIVANT]

Close family ties are normal and respected in many cultures. I find North American views on this to be very obnoxious.

[AmberRose82]

What's funny is that you describe yourself as the average er excuse me "common" American male, then go on to reveal that you think of yourself as the "hot guy". Let me break it to you. Most guys have higher confidence than women whether they look good or not. The problem is women aren't allowed to think of themselves as above average, at least not openly so. Guys are. And the fact that you stated the whole "omg a hot guy is talking to me" phrase shows how highly the so-called "common American male" thinks of himself. You basically admit, to which I give you props but nonetheless, that you think girls that YOU don't think of as "that pretty" should feel grateful for you talking to them/paying them any kind of attention at all and as a payment have non-committal sex with you while you reserve the ones you do consider pretty as girlfriend material. That's shitty. And that's how I know guys to be, and that's why most, not just average or less pretty girls, will shoot you down. In the end, the one thing *I* 'm grateful for is knowing that the scale will usually balance itself out and you will eventually get to fuck a girl that you deserve as opposed to one that you *think* you deserve. We tend to fuck at an attractiveness level similar to our own, look up the stats, and so, cosmic justice is bound. Thanks for the take ;) Toodles ;)

[BuchitaBuchys]

Lol makes sense why so many guys ask me out.

I agree and the part of what us average/not pretty girls think is SPOT ON (for ME at least).
I think either:
-he's got some silly bet/contest with his guys to pick up the most plain chick.
-he's looking for a "slumpbuster" or an easy lay and figures me being meh, my panties would just fly off. Especially if he's hot, they think I'm "honored" to be asked by them. Pfffftttt.
-he's too intimidated to talk to one of my friends and is using me to get on her good side.
This has happened to me unfortunately and I mistakenly started liking him, little did I know, I was his stepping stool to get to my bff. I don't blame him because she's beautiful and nice.
-he'd never take me seriously.

You are correct on that lol As I said, my friends are pretty and very nice. The prettier they are, the nicer they are.
I'm pretty much a bitch and averageish. A basic bitch I think is the term? Lol

[Kingfrosty]

Wow that really sad XD, buti gotta say not all guys are trying 2 get that out of you and the more you think that way i worst choices you will make goodluck

[archiz]

I actually saw a pic of you and I remember you being pretty attractive so...

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kingfrosty I know, but I'm still skeptical when an attractive guy asks me out. Like where are your standards sir? Lol

@archiz compared to my friends, I'm dog food lol

[BuchitaBuchys]

@archiz but thank you :)

[archiz]

oh shush xD

[pavlove]

@archiz lol stop lez crushing on all the girls who choose to comment on my takes

[archiz]

lol you still didn't see anything

[pavlove]

@archiz what do you mean?

[archiz]

meaning I usually flirt much more bluntly than this with girls on gag.
here I am just being honest about her looks.
only good intentions :p

[pavlove]

@archiz lol i like this side of you

[archiz]

Haha 😏😉

[Kingfrosty]

thats kinda sad that you think so low of your self

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kingfrosty I'm not hideous, but I'm more average. And it's being realistic.

[Kingfrosty]

learn something new everyday ^^ beauty is different for everyone and the sooner you stop thinking why would he want me think about that. looks isn't everything and the sooner you learn that the better men you will find

[BuchitaBuchys]

@Kingfrosty lol I know looks aren't everything but I'm a bitch too. So if he isn't going for looks, and I'm not nice, wtf is his problem?

[Kingfrosty]

maybe they like the bitch side of you? everyones different and every girl is a bitch in some way most just wait till they are married 2 show it to you. At least your straight and honest/funny thats just my opinioin who knows i might be wrong ^^

[Kingfrosty]

But if you truly believe that someone can't like you for who you are then every relationship is set up 2 fail

[Bandit74]

I think average girls tend to be more promiscuous than the really beautiful girls. Even if you meet a beautiful girl who is promiscuous at least she's got something rare (beauty) to offset the negative of her being promiscuous. So I think its dumb to go for the less attractive girl just because you think you've got a better shot of getting an easy lay.

[Azara]

what difference does it make to you, if she's had a lot of sex before you. its got nothing to do with you or your relationship. of you care about things that don't exist anymore, the you don't actually have a relationship with a person. you're just dating a specter. whats the point?

[Bandit74]

@Azara
Why do you care?
Do my dating preferences impact you life in any meaningful way?

[pavlove]

@Bandit74 She's asking you a polite, logical question. Why can't you just answer it calmly, politely, and logically?

[Bandit74]

@pavlove
1) I am calm, its not like I wrote it in all caps.

2) Why doesn't she calmly and logically respond to me question "Why does she care what my dating preferences are"?

3) As for why I answered the way I did, its because I've seen how these discussions tend to lay out. Whenever a guy expresses the opinion that he doesn't want to be with a promiscuous partner, girls like Azara will talk down to them and attempt to shame them for their dating preferences. The conversations always go down that road and then usually one person will either block or just stop responding to the other. The arguments never lead anywhere and either side ever changers their opinion or gains anything from the conversation.

So because of that I prefer to avoid them.

[Smells-like-lavender]

I like this article it hits home for me. I do this all the time when talking to girls. When I had a crush on this gorgeous girl I found it very hard to approach her, say a simple hello and interact, interact? Ha ha ha hell no lol that's not happening but deep down I wanted to so bad. During that time in my social circle I started approaching girls that I liked but I wasn't nessesary "crushing hard " on them. I found it easy for some reason to talk to them then my crush. I'm not crushing on her as bad anymore but she's still very attractive to me and there is walls around us that I believe I build with no intention. I still find it hard to talk to her, but the others I'm awesome with, that's has happen all my young adult life. I really want to change that.

[pavlove]

it will with time

[Smells-like-lavender]

Yes sir! I mean I talk to a whole variety of people on a daily basis do to my job and that includes attractive women, but I never get to flirt much or close the deal to ask for a date and all but with time like you said 👍🏻😀

[Joc4Position]

A lot of this isn't true. I wanna start with the third picture, because it's glaring at me. I'd actually probably pick the one who gives me more "signs". Either that or the one with the nicest ass, because boobs are ehh to me.

I don't believe attractive females are half court shots. I think each one are free throws. They can either be easy or difficult. Depends on the person shooting them (in reference to free throw shooting) as well.

Same could be said for "average females". I think what most females realize with me is that I treat the ones who are "average" to me no different than the ones who are hot/sexy to me. Still a free throw shot. Both are.

I've noticed that easy lays come in different appearances, so I don't worry about it. I don't over think it. Either I'm catching a lob or I'm shooting a free throw.

[Helpfulanon]

i appreciate in the pics the girls as average and beautiful were actually average and beautiful and not media high standard perceptions as is usually seen on most of such sites.

tbh, its better to go for the pretty girl and get rejected, i mean keep going for it with a different one, eventually you could have a pretty partner, there won't be insecurities in the relationship based on physical appeal of either and tbh, the average looking girls usually are way more promiscuous than the beautiful ones which makes it even less worth it. They are kind of like female versions of zyzz (lol, dunno why i thought of him here), they dont sleep around as much for the gratification as it is for approval

[smg99]

Sleeping around is hormone driven that in turn affects psychological behavior outwardly. Not the converse being affected retrograde. Validation doesn’t heighten hormone driven libido at all.

[VIVANT]

@smg99

👍🏻 😊✨✨

[Beaver19]

I actually only go for very attractive 7-9 looking girls and would never lower those standards. Yeah I've faced a lot of rejection but all I need is not that works out in the end, it's not about what's easiest. It's about what's worth it.

[pavlove]

good man

[Beaver19]

Sorry all I need is one that works out in the end not "not that works out" haha

Some call it shallow but I'm not looking to rack up a sex count I want something real and there are hot girls who are very rude I wouldn't touch however looks are needed. Given how I'd treat a 7-9 looking girl if we got along and got together, they can call me shallow all they want it doesn't phase me, I'd give her everything.

[COCOCHANEL]

according to the many, this school of thought is common among men in japan too. the majority of men don't want to target the prettiest girl in a group because they assume it will be harder to achieve anything with her due to her ego (meaning she might be high maintenance) and heightened competition. most men want the runner (s) up, the average looking girls who are wearing very conservative, yet feminine clothes. most men do not want women who stand out, women know this and dress and act conservatively. it's a big game.

[LittleSally]

Well... I think most girls know all this, but guys might not.
Which is sad, because then they think women are 'so blessed' in the dating department. Ironic.

[pavlove]

yeah, exactly. it's knowing these things that i think are important to understanding women at least some what...

[Lapunan]

Go for the attractive girl, in my experience the less attractive the girl the more issues she has, and she'll take them out on you, looks dont even count with these crazies, the cuter the girl the saner she is.

[pavlove]

lol i like it

[Yeahhbro]

You know what? I think you are into something here. My current girlfriend by standards is very attractive: She is 5'7, blond with green eyes, skinny, big round eyes, with long eyelashes and long hair that touches her tailbone. She has super nice and everything has being going pretty well. Actually when i met her, i was like you know what, i just told her when i met her that i liked her and that i w as thinking of getting something serious, i even went all the way to tell her that i wanted to sleep with her. Everything worked perfectly

[far2gud4u]

my friends jump on anyone that talks to them whereas i am a bit picky so I dunno about this... but then I am not American and British guys seem to go along with being rather 'cheeky'

[pavlove]

yeah i'd say they do. americans gets easily offended if you don't act like they're the sh**.

haha so you're saying you're one of the pretty ones?

[far2gud4u]

i will let you decide... I dont think i am but I get a lot of attention so maybe not lol

[Anonymous]

I agree with a lot of this. I don't usually party but being avarage/ugly is not only bad. I don't know what to call myself but sometimes guys get imtimidated by me and show me signs but kinda runs away with it and then come back so there is no rejection I guess. Sometimes even stalking and it gets too far. The outside is not the most important the inside is. If more people wouldn't be scared of rejection then there would be more people in their "dream" relationship with whoever they like. It's better knowing it coudln't happend than not knowing if it couldn't. Great mytake!

[mikemx55]

Here is my like sir!
I also believe that the average isn't ugly. It should not be used as a byword

[pavlove]

ha thanks!

I don't know what word to use then to not offend

[loveslongnails]

This was the humorous part for me: ***This take is based highly on empirical evidence***, etc. HIGHLY empirical. Does that mean you were HIGH as a kite during your observation periods? How MUCH "empirical evidence" is this all based on? Years of observation in college bars? I liked this too: "Many guys will go after the unattractive girl... why?" I'm trying to think of the last time I was out with the guys and one of them said... "Hey, see that hot girl with the unattractive girl? I'll take the ugly one, buddy." Seriously.

[archiz]

eghh I do the same with guys :/
if a hot guy approaches me I might reject him
and if he s an average it would be easier to interact with him.

[pavlove]

right cuz you're keeping your reality in tact--your reality is that you don't get with really hot guys so its easier to interact with an average so much so that you'd even reject someone who'd challenge that reality like a hot guy that was into you. (hot being relative to how you personally see it)

[Helpfulanon]

now i am going to assume i am incredibly hot because i hardly talk to girls

[Moose2coolvargas]

Is that so?

[archiz]

@Moose2coolvargas hmm?

[daydreammarie]

Some attractive girls have low self-esteem and don't know that they are the attractive ones so word of advice go for what you want and stop using the other girl cause you dont have enough confidence to get an 'attractive' girl.