Confessions of a Ladies Man: Don't worry about what a man or woman says. Judge their actions!

[Apope16]

This girl I have been dating for 3 months says she is "confused" and "unsure" about dating me. Over and over again she says she isn't ready to date me yet. All because I broke up with her a couple of times over some misunderstandings. Anyway, what are her actions? Thursday she lets me sleep over, Friday we have sex, Sunday she texts me asking how we got to be fighting, Monday she invites me on an acupuncture date, Thursday she texting me to talk, Friday she agrees to go on a date. She says she's unsure...but...her actions are clear that she still likes me.

Ladies! You meet a guy. He tells you he just wants to have sex for fun. You ask if he's dating anyone and he says no. He goes from just having sex to spending the night. Soon he's having a drink with you or going out to eat with you before the night cap. He starts opening up about personal things. Now it feels like when you guys go out together you are dating. You ask him what he wants and he says he wants to still go with the flow. Ladies, give him time. He's falling in love but he's in denial about it.

Ladies! You got dumped by an ex boyfriend. You go no contact. Then you notice he is following your facebook and instagram stories. He wishes you happy birthday. He texts you from time to time for stupid reasons. Does he want to date you? Unclear. Does he still have sexual and emotional feelings? YES!

Guys! A girl dumps you. She screams at you and says that she hates you. You go no contact. Months go by. She reaches out again asking how you are doing. Again..she says she hated you. But people say stupid things under stress. She still has feelings. She misses you.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't fuck about like this with people who don't know what they want. This is the number one reason so many people get hurt and end up with complicated relationships where there's constant drama. This is stupid.

Sometimes you can like someone and not be compatible. The usual reason people do this is because they have a lack of other attractive options so they're afraid to lose that one. As others have said you're not the ladies man you claim to be, every time you write something like this you snitch on yourself.

Your relationship with the girl who went on holiday and got that other guy's number is a shit-show. You shouldn't be dealing with her, and it should have been clear to her that she shouldn't do those things. She doesn't know where she is with you either.

A girl who is dealing with a guy who said he only wants sex should believe him. If she wants a relationship and he keeps saying he's unsure, she should leave and stop wasting her time with him. Whether or not he is catching feelings, because some guys will pretend to be in order to keep her hooked, it doesn't matter. He's never going to know what he wants, she's better off moving on.

The girls boyfriend dumps her and comes back? Why would it matter if he still has feelings? He dumped her. He doesn't know what he wants. Waste of time. Goodbye, move on, find a guy who knows what he wants.

The guy's girlfriend hates him and comes back later? Still has feelings and misses you? Again, why would you bother? There are other women who've never dumped you and never hated you.

[BlackPrince1]

if an ex is following you or calling and texting you it might be that they're reaching out to you because they haven't been able to find someone new and want to have sex with you because there's no one else to F.
What you said is not wrong but there are some people who are good at playing with feelings. We need to be aware of them

[Apope16]

Powerful point! Good stuff!

[JEndigoBleue]

Ummm, that's sound like a bunch of confusion.

Both men and women should know what they want before entering into a casual or serious relationship. And, in detail, make known of their expectations within these relationships. If I want just sex, I'll be clear "just sex" Now, what I like to do sexual, I will make that known and understood. I may like to cuddle. Doesn't mean I want something serious with you. I may want to be open to express how you make me feel having sex with you, etc. Doesn't mean I want a serious relationship with you. Or, I may want to have sex along with hanging out because I like your company, etc. Doesn't mean I want a serious relationship with you. This would be defined with an individual, so that there will be no confusion as to what type of relationship we have.

Define what you want
Define your expectations
Play your role
Enjoy yourself
End things amicably

If the person want something different, cool. Go away gracefully. They're not on the same page. Do not ghost. You met in good spirit. You depart in good spirit.

Question is "What type of relationship do you want with her?" It sounds like you two are not on the same page. Stop having sex with each other. It's confusing the mental. You enjoy the sex, but relationship intentions are in two different paths. If she doesn't want a serious relationship, but enjoy having sex and hanging out... Enjoy that. If you want more than that, you'll have to move on. You all will just frustrate each other with this back and forth confusion.

[Apope16]

The post is not about casual relationships. The post is about what people say should be a grain of salt. It is about their actions and behavior. That can be in a marriage or a friendship. Whatever it may be.

What you are saying is off point but just plain wrong. Women do not know what they want in a relationship. They do not know what they want in a guy. Sure they can give you a bunch of nonsense on a piece of paper about "nice guy" and "goo with kids" bla bla bla.

Trust me. I have spent years being the best friend and years being a ladies man. Everything above that you said is non sense.

Women are driven by how they feel in the moment. They are driven by how a guy makes them feel. It is why loving and loyal women will cheat on their spouses when a marriage gets rocky. Its not about some logical definition of roles and values. Its purely feelings.

Guys like me know that as long as I show up on a date and I am fun and I make a woman feel like she is sexy, smart, and amazing. She will either sleep with me that very night or I have a new girlfriend over time. Women breakup with a guy because they meet a new shiny toy guy that reinvigorates the old feelings of being sexy and wanted and desired. Or they break up because the relationship weighs them down and those feelings are lost.

The purpose of casual dating and dating in general is to get to know people and allow feelings and connection to evolve over time. What you are really calling for is an arranged marriage.

[JEndigoBleue]

I asked you a question... What type of relationship do you want with this woman? If you want a serious relationship, get to know her and stop having sex with her. It's complicating your judgment. You keep asking questions about this female. You are coming off confused to know "Women" and a "Ladies Man" I'm trying to understand your intentions. You wanna have sex and fun? Or, you want a serious relationship? Her boyfriend or fiance towards marriage?

It's not a difficult understanding about men and women in relationships. The more you ask these questions, the more I see your understand is off because you don't know what you want. I'm not dissing you or trying to one up on you.

The question 🤔 What do you want with her? What's your intentions with her? Do she want the same? Have you had the conversation with her? She's either yes or no. No "I don't know." If it's a "No", leave her alone. She'll just stress you out and have you asking these questions through your "Confessions of a Ladies Man" series

[Apope16]

You are triggered by the term ladies man. relax.

Second, having sex is part of getting to know someone. An important part actually. it is important to get to know them from a standpoint of building sexual chemistry and biological and hormonal bonding.

Why is it that you have these weird people on GAG who act like just because you have sex you can't get to know somone. Huh? You can have sex and get to know people at the same time.

The other things about what you said is just plain wrong. Women are emotional beings. You act like human being are card board cutouts. They are people who's emotions and feelings change over time. I have had sex with many women where it was just "fuck buddy" and then months later we would hang out and get to know each other in a deeper way. Pretty soon its 2 years later, she's my girlfriend and we are living together. Feelings evolve and change. Sex is a way of expression affection or just having fun. It is not the only component in your relationship with someone.

[Apope16]

My LONGEST relationships ALL began with sex on the first date. Most of my shortest relationships happened either without sex or when sex was delayed beyond date 3. I think this is pretty standard in the modern dating seen. The longer you date without sex the more likely a girl is to friendzone you. What you dont understand is that lack of sex actually reduces attraction over time because over time people's vulnerabilities and flaws come out. You need that chemical and hormonal bond of sex to allow for both of you to invest in one another and be more willing to deal with the imperfections of each other to stay together.

[JEndigoBleue]

Also, "how one make you feel" is mistake for both men and women. At the end of day, feelings/looks fade and all you are left with is who they are. So I rather get to know and tread light on feelings until I know I like "who they are flaws in all before allowing my "feelings" takeover.

[JEndigoBleue]

Ok, you're not answering the question. What do you want with her?

[JEndigoBleue]

You keep asking questions pertaining to her

[Apope16]

I want to date her exclusively. I am sorry I didn't know you stalked out my entire page. I want to date her exclusively and for 3 months that was what I was doing. But it was something that evolved over time. It is unattractive in the dating scene for a man to say on date one "I only want to date you". That makes it seem like a guy is desperate has no prospects. the lady sees she has no compettition. Also women are more attracted to men who's feelings are unclear. So telling someone what your intentions are on date number 1 is a HUGE no no no. No guy should be asking to be exclusive either. the woman should do that. otherwise a woman will be turned off. A woman needs to feeling that exclusive dating is her idea not the guy's.

[JEndigoBleue]

LOL! I don't stalk your page. You have a series "remember" I glance at them. Sometimes reply. The common theme is "her".

And, no, you should be intentional with people. No mixed emotions or understanding. If they don't want what you want, you have to move on. You mention this in your recent series... You stated your desire, she didn't respond appropriately, you moved on. Yet, you did not. You were baiting and switching. I wouldn't bother if a guy came correct after I mentioned my desires intentions expectations upfront (First initial conversations with a person). It tells me you don't know what you want. I don't have time for drama and confusion. Annnd, if I'm not down for fun and games, I will not engage a man that I perceive that's what he want.

I don't think she wants to be exclusive. I'll leave her alone. To be honest, back and forth is draining. You like have sex with her. That's a fact. But, relationship... Naw, you all are not on the same page. You trying to hard to find what will work. If that's the case, it won't work.

Keep dating until you find what you are looking for. She's not it. That's just my assessment. She's getting on my nerves every time you ask a question about her. And, I'm not trying to be funny. She is.

[Apope16]

You lost me when you said "you have a series..." thats stalker already. You are triggered by the term ladies man. If i didn't use that title you wouldn't even read it.

[JEndigoBleue]

You keep dancing around the fact that you have to leave "her" alone. And, you titled your series as such to draw people in. I would read it regardless because of the nature of the question. You like this female and want more. She cool with you, but don't. That's fine. That's nothing against you nor her. You know if someone really wants to be with you, you don't have to question it. It is what it is. Keep dating. To me she's not an option right now. Maybe not at all.

[JEndigoBleue]

Annd, I'm trying to be helpful. I feel you rather for someone to say "yeah, she's a keeper. Give chance." You say you're not waiting for her, but in theory you are. Just because you are dating others doesn't you're not waiting. If she decides to say "Yes" What happens to the woman you meet that wants a relationship with you and you with her? You may very well fine someone that meet you where you are in life right now.

[Anonymous]

I'd say maybe this apply to girls and boys, not adults who has some experience, then what they say and do should be congruent.
It is very silly and unnecessary high risk to date someone who is unsure about wanting a relationship if you want something serious yourself. If a man says he wants something casual then I will never try to convince over time to commit. If he is in denial he is basically lying to himself and also you. No way will I put up with that. If both are not investing in it and risk getting hurt feelings then it is a way too uneven a relation for me.

[Guy13]

Good points but most of the issue is either both or one party involved not knowing what they want nor having the balls to tell the other ones about... much less move forward in their individual standing after revelation...

[MrWolf]

If you are an influencer I'm a potato 🥔

Having a post about one thing then going the other direction.

A cub a baby cub as i said. Have more attention little one.

[Apope16]

Thanks for the insults. But did you have anything to contribute to the discussion?

True or false. Just people by their actions and not their words? Right?

[MrWolf]

So a little cub is an insult but that's what you are why get offended.

All i do is judge your post's and all of them have nothing to say or prove that's already been proven.

But hey as a bigger Predator out there I'm always here for you to help you grow.

And a little insight on that topic as you asked nicely.

Judge by the actions they don't take when you are there and the things they don't say.

And me personally i would worry about everything they say as they always end up spiling the bean at some point either as a joke or a sarcastic thought.

There you go cub!

[Anonymous]

Confused how a prior post says you've been dating multiple women..

[Apope16]

I am flattered that you read my posts and pay that much attention to them. I dont know what post but it depends on the context and the time period.

I have dated a woman for 3 months. December 4 to March 4. I broke things off and right now we are in a negotiation phase. During this time I am exploring dating other women and she has agreed to go on some trial dates to explore her feelings about me. Basically I broke up with her and then asked if she wanted to get back together. Because she is confused. I am giving her freedom to think while going on dates with 2 other women. My girlfriend/ex is going on a date with me on Friday but she is well aware that I refuse to just wait around like a puppy for her.

[Anonymous]

Both are important.
What matters is how (and if) what they say matches what they do and vice versa.