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What I think of the book on being hard to get

jennifer_bloom
What I think of the book on being hard to get

The main thing with her book that I get is that she is suggesting men will not respect you unless you demand it from them or unless you trick them into being nice to you through the fear of losing you or by manipulation.

I would not want a guy who is only nice if I force him to be nice cause what if one day I’m old or sick or disabled or blind and can’t force respect out of him? Is he going to leave because he’s not threatened by the odds of losing me either financially or socially?

I have not dated too many people but it’s important I get a guy who can hold himself accountable and does not need me to stand over him with a hawk like gaze for him to be kind and decent with me.

What I think of the book on being hard to get
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Man-O-Metal
    Agreed. Loyalty and respect should not be demanded. How does that make anyone want to stay? If it's commanded of me then I feel like a slave. Loyalty and respect should be expected without demanding. And if you don't receive it, that person has a problem. To demand it is just pure manipulation. And when you manipulate somebody, that's no longer a relationship.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Drumlin2001
    Coming from an author who seems to be single (though surprising little about her in google), I think I'd take any advice with a pinch of salt
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Table4YTwo
    its a book made by a "feminist" who believes that women need to be in power instead of going 50/50

    its toxic femininity at its finest.

    I prefer when a girl is dominant because I am submissive but I also am able to take care of myself and give absolutely no fucks what someone holds over me.
  • ChiTown33
    She absolutely RIGHT that you should demand respect.
    But she's absolutely WRONG on manipulating a guy.
    Like 1 Person
  • Kiss_Me
    Books like these are effective but morally bankrupt. Using the techniques they offer is unwise, to say the least.
  • RavVid
    The premise is highly flawed. And it would seem to be advocating adversarial relationships which is - surprise - spouse abuse. Would a book on why girls need bastards with the subtext of from bitch to dreamgirl doormat get published? Surprising the inverse is thought so.

    It is trying to apply marxism (ie class conflict) to relationships and is likely to work as well as marxism has elsewhere in societies. As feminism is rooted in marxism it is not an unsurprising attempt.

    Hard To Get is an entirely different concept to Hard To Be With.

    In truth I think we all want our prospective partner show a little selectivity. If anybody in a skirt or trousers will do the trick, its a bit of a run away situation.

    Who makes the running puts the other into hard to get mode in reality. Traditionally that has been the female but isn't necessarily so.
  • Whatever2929292
    If you want to cause someone to loose interest in you. Do this!
  • skeetskeetskeet
    Anyone writing a book about playing hard to get has probably never had anyone try to get them so they think they are the best at it
  • CallmeTheKnight
    You can't take someone serious if they're just playing hard to get, because they're just PLAYING!!
  • Talkingtotheone
    lies lies
  • Anonymous
    I have been saying this for years. Attraction isn’t a choice but respect is. On the flip side women do “shit test” men to see if he will speak up out of self-respect. Apparently once you “pass” this test then the woman is supposed to test you less since she know see’s your a “real man”.

    But why do you have to unnecessarily shit test him to begin with? Sure if he does something disrespectful or vice versa there should be a necessary confrontation. But why have an agenda to create a problem just for the sake of drama to see how he deals with it?

    Not all women are like this by the way. But too many are. The drama supposedly makes the relationship more “interesting” but in reality it ends up hurting both sides in the end (when the shit test wasn’t necessary).
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