What I think of the book on being hard to get

[jennifer_bloom]

The main thing with her book that I get is that she is suggesting men will not respect you unless you demand it from them or unless you trick them into being nice to you through the fear of losing you or by manipulation.

I would not want a guy who is only nice if I force him to be nice cause what if one day I’m old or sick or disabled or blind and can’t force respect out of him? Is he going to leave because he’s not threatened by the odds of losing me either financially or socially?

I have not dated too many people but it’s important I get a guy who can hold himself accountable and does not need me to stand over him with a hawk like gaze for him to be kind and decent with me.

[Man-O-Metal]

Agreed. Loyalty and respect should not be demanded. How does that make anyone want to stay? If it's commanded of me then I feel like a slave. Loyalty and respect should be expected without demanding. And if you don't receive it, that person has a problem. To demand it is just pure manipulation. And when you manipulate somebody, that's no longer a relationship.

[Drumlin2001]

Coming from an author who seems to be single (though surprising little about her in google), I think I'd take any advice with a pinch of salt

[RavVid]

The premise is highly flawed. And it would seem to be advocating adversarial relationships which is - surprise - spouse abuse. Would a book on why girls need bastards with the subtext of from bitch to dreamgirl doormat get published? Surprising the inverse is thought so.

It is trying to apply marxism (ie class conflict) to relationships and is likely to work as well as marxism has elsewhere in societies. As feminism is rooted in marxism it is not an unsurprising attempt.

Hard To Get is an entirely different concept to Hard To Be With.

In truth I think we all want our prospective partner show a little selectivity. If anybody in a skirt or trousers will do the trick, its a bit of a run away situation.

Who makes the running puts the other into hard to get mode in reality. Traditionally that has been the female but isn't necessarily so.

[Anonymous]

I have been saying this for years. Attraction isn’t a choice but respect is. On the flip side women do “shit test” men to see if he will speak up out of self-respect. Apparently once you “pass” this test then the woman is supposed to test you less since she know see’s your a “real man”.

But why do you have to unnecessarily shit test him to begin with? Sure if he does something disrespectful or vice versa there should be a necessary confrontation. But why have an agenda to create a problem just for the sake of drama to see how he deals with it?

Not all women are like this by the way. But too many are. The drama supposedly makes the relationship more “interesting” but in reality it ends up hurting both sides in the end (when the shit test wasn’t necessary).

[RavVid]

I have thought at times that girls will test you to see if you will stand up for yourself against them because if you don't then you are not going to be much of a protector. I guess that a man being able to protect a girl has been part of the human pysch for a least 2 million years and it has only been a 100 years that you can call Police and expect to get rapid response.

So I think your shit test makes sense.

[Table4YTwo]

its a book made by a "feminist" who believes that women need to be in power instead of going 50/50

its toxic femininity at its finest.

I prefer when a girl is dominant because I am submissive but I also am able to take care of myself and give absolutely no fucks what someone holds over me.

[ChiTown33]

She absolutely RIGHT that you should demand respect.
But she's absolutely WRONG on manipulating a guy.

[Kiss_Me]

Books like these are effective but morally bankrupt. Using the techniques they offer is unwise, to say the least.

[Whatever2929292]

If you want to cause someone to loose interest in you. Do this!

[CallmeTheKnight]

You can't take someone serious if they're just playing hard to get, because they're just PLAYING!!

[skeetskeetskeet]

Anyone writing a book about playing hard to get has probably never had anyone try to get them so they think they are the best at it

[Talkingtotheone]

lies lies