Please Stop The Blame Game About "Having to Pay" for a Date (Page 2)

[Avonlea]

The first date not a date just meeting each other seeing if a connection if their a connection both ways. If it’s not the same wish the best. Call me old fashion I do like a gentlemen to do my ex sure did never let me look at the bill I never forced but I was kind I took him out sometimes.

[Chevy1_kb]

me and my old boyfriend before my ex I just left always took shots each on dates out for dinner i dont beileve in letting one pay for it all the time shots each i do its better after all you are going to be lovers its not nice to let one pay all the time it takes 2 to tangle fair is fair share and share alike

[YesterdaysChild]

Stop crying about it guys. You would pay a lot more for a prostitute. Haven't guys heard that they can go Dutch Treat and each pay for their own? The guy shouldn't always pay. But if he really wants a date he may have to cough up, especially if he doesn't look like Tom Cruise. Otherwise, the girl would be glad to pay.

[Billlewis]

No, ma'am, Dutch is not, under any circumstances, an option, in my case, anyway. It's very important to me that I have the opportunity to pay for every date, every time, even if the date happens to be with another guy.

[YesterdaysChild]

@Billlewis So you are just enabling some women to take advantage. What keeps them from going out with you for a good meal, after which they say "This is not working out." and dump you right then and there and just move on the next guy? Think of all the money she saves on food.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, and I've given that some serious thought. However, the happiness and fulfillment I derive from serving a beautiful woman in this manner supersedes the potential drawbacks associated with the arrangement.

[msc545]

Actually, the prostitute costs less and is more grateful and provides better sex. I particularly like the part where you state that good looking men should not have to pay for themselves, but average looking men do. That's kind of funny. Is that mean that good looking women should not have to pay for themselves but average looking women? Should I somehow doubt you would endorse that.

[YesterdaysChild]

@msc545 Fact: unattractive people have a hard time getting dates. Some people take advantage of that by dating them for a free meal. And... some people gladly pay escorts to date so they at least have a semblance of having a real date and real fun.

[Tdp1990]

Um, at least when you pay for a prostitute you’re guaranteed to get something. Secondly, a good prostitute can be had for some smartees candy in a pill bottle.

[Peter_Penetrator]

It is just old school for the man to plan and bare the financial responsibility for his date.


Dudes that can’t accept that this is just the proper way to treat a woman need to just man up and an be a gentleman. If dudes insist on going “dutch” then they need to get a better job.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Okay then why are you playing the blame game about having periods? Because that's ironic. Any men can use how you play the blame game about having periods or whatever women's issues you have as a reason why they have to complain about paying for the date but in the end that's not even the only thing men have to pay for. And paying for something is not even the only issue that men face. If you don't want to date complainers, who's forcing you to date them? A normal person wouldn't waste their time on them male or female.

[VIVANT]

No one has to pay and no one has to ask

ideally the people who get along are the ones who genuinely like each others company and are not appending time together simply bc they are following antiquated rules about ken and women

I prefer a guy who just accepts being asked out as an every day thing, over a guy who freaks out at the idea of women refusing to pretend they lack agency but will “pay for me “

[HippoDino]

No guy should ever complain about paying for a date. You either think the chance to talk to her is worth the dinner, or it isn't. If she thought getting to meet you was worth paying dinner then she probably would have asked you out to dinner not the other way around.

[DubiousIntentions]

Put you wallet down and just make a nice picnic lunch and go for a drive in the country and stop at a nice park for lunch. Oh crap! Now they are going to argue about whose car they will use and who will pay for the gas. People seem to make their own complications where there should be none.

[Giddyup]

This post is just crazy and the reason I haven't been on a date in nearly two years. Very few people just want to enjoy spending time with someone, every one has specific expectations for how it 'should' be.

If your placing this much importance on the procedure for a first date or so, imagine the pressure to keep you pleased when living together or married.

And this only gets worse with age I have learned.

[whirled_up_girl]

Yeah, it's kind of one those societal norms that hasn't evolved much. When I was younger and made less money I didn't think much about it. The guys I dates made more money that I do so if they wanted to pay I didn't questions it. Now that I might make the same or more it seems strange to make them pay but some act offended when I offer to pay.

[elizamichale1]

i personally like it when my offers to pay n takes care of it BUT then i also ensure that next time we r out its on me n not on him
I personally dont feel comfy to pay half n half on a date.. for me either i pay fully or him

but the reality is many guys try to over spend just to impress us but the imp bit is money is not the only factor of impressing these days

[patrick994]

I am of the opinion that there should be no obligation for either the male or the female to pay the bill, often the one who invites pays, if I for example invite you the first time to eat, I'll buy, next time you'll buy in return, it doesn't make sense to put the obligation to pay on the man, if the woman works and is independent she can also offer on the first date.

[jshm2]

Don't be silly.

It's not about the "pay" it's about the quality of the date. If the date has not met expectations, then you should not have to pay "full price". No different than most transactions, if the purchaser is not "happy" then a partial refund is due - or a split bill.

I always paid my bills on dates, but that's because I always got exactly what I wanted. But most people do not.

[DarkWinterNights]

Did you know the average date cost in the US is almost $100? For a lot of guys that’s a days worth of work. All for the possibility of maybe getting a second date and hoping she’s not just using you for a free meal, which we’ve all seen the TikToks of women bragging about exploiting guys over.

[Unit1]

Well here is something refreshing. I like to see it.

Now the pink comments section is showing the gold diggers. Yikes. With these dating is a much bigger pain in the ass than enjoying your own hands. It is no wonder men's loneliness is epidemic. When porn is preferable to these "real girls" down there, you know something is definitely wrong. Not gonna do any blaming.

But hey, your last few sentences address this case pretty well, so all is good.

[Fireguy17]

I don't keep score, so if I'm ahead by 10 or behind by 4 it won't matter in 30 years when I'm worm chow.

No one ever said just before their last breath damn it, I paid for too many meals.

At that point you would probably give any8for 1 last meal with someone you love.

Life is too short to worry about that.

[Billlewis]

The guy should always pay for a date with the woman he's asked out. After I've gone out with a woman, I ask her if she has dates with any other guys, and if she says 'yes', I ask her if she'll allow me to pay for those dates, as well.

[Danny_dan92]

I have dated a lot in my lifetime and one girl I’ll never forget is that she was reasonable.




We didn’t live close to each other, gas isn’t cheap in California. So because I drove to go pick her up etc. she offered to pay for everything else.




I literally thought, wow. For the first time it’s a girl that is reasonable and respectful

[Anonymous]

Men in America need to come to terms with the fact that American women are whores.

If you can't afford one (and demonstrate that, either by car or job or house or clothes or shoes or bling) then you won't get one.

Not *all* women. Obviously. See ladies? Just like you claim "Not all men" doesn't need to be said... I've made it ok by saying you may not be a whore.

[Sharkstealth]

I'm old fashioned. I believe in paying for dates but I also believe in a woman taking care of the home and children. More than once I have heard the it's not fair. Why do I clean the house and watch the kids while my husband earns the money and works on the house and car?