My boyfriend tried to stick his tongue in my mouth for my first kiss.?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I were at the movies yesterday with a friend of mine since I couldn't go alone. At one point during the movie, he made me turn my head towards. And I didn't really turn my head completely, only just slightly. I knew he was going to kiss me, and I was perfectly fine with that. However I wasn't really prepared for or ok with his tongue. I feel like his tongue just ruined the whole thing being special. After I got his tongue trying to go into my mouth, I just turned away and watched the movie. Every time he tried again, he still had his tongue out, and honestly it just ruined it for me. I don't even really count any of them as my first kiss because I was never really turned towards him all (I did it purposely after the first time) the way, so when he tried to kiss me, he only got the side of my mouth. However, the first time he tried to kiss me, I was turned enough so it wasn't completely on the side of my mouth.
I feel like his tongue just ruined the whole thing being sweet and special like I had wanted it to be, and I told him that. I also told him that I didn't count any of the kisses.
(We are both 15, and he is my vey first boyfriend, but he has dated people before.)
Is it ok for me feel the way I do about the kisses?
That's kind of my only question, and I just want other people's opinions on everything.

[7heDubz]

It sounds like he didn't get the hint that you didn't want tongue. In my honest opinion I wouldn't use tongue for the first few kisses unless the girl initiated or specifically asked for it.

Tongue should be used very intimately and he should have had an understanding about that, but your both 15 so i assume he is immature and unknowledgeable about that fact. My only request is that you keep in mind that he does not know-all about relationships and how they should work. Please, however you feel IS how you should feel about whatever is going on.

If you didn't like the french kissing then that is how you should feel. If you don't like him grabbing ass then that's how you should feel. Whatever you feel IS right, and that's what you should be feeling. Talk to him and having him understand how you feel about things are going to be key to a successful relationship.

[7heDubz]

To add on here, You are both 15, and dating at this point is a learning expereince, keep in mind nothing at this point is going to last more then 6-8 months. (More often the naught anyway.)

[Asker]

I'll keep that in my mind. I promise that I will. We've been talking about it, and it's just that sometimes I don't really get a response. I just get an ok, and it leaves me hanging. When he just says ok, I don't know how he feels then everything is just blah. And I plan on talking to him about it.

[7heDubz]

It's a defense mechanism, being dismissive and agreeing to everything circumvents talking about something that could otherwise cause him some discomfort (probably off of the fact that you didn't like it, he knows that now, and is probably beating himself up for being stupid.) I would be anyway, unless he is one of those guys who thinks he can do no wrong. In which case drop him like he's super heated metal in your hands.

Point is, that's probably why he is being agreeable and dismissive.

[Asker]

After I told him how I felt about it ( I also said that he made me nervous), I asked him how he felt. He said it made him feel like he needed to change and that he just f***** everything up. And after that I felt really bad.

[7heDubz]

Don't feel bad about it. You voiced your opinion and he said that he felt like he messed up, which, is if you think about it, what he technically did. Now, he may be overdramatizing when he said that he effed EVERYTHING up, but its his way of saying "I dun goofed"

[Asker]

You're right.

[7heDubz]

Glad to try to be of help, You can always message me if you'd like anything.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Distant]

Yes, it's perfectly fine to feel that way about kissing. He was trying to use his tongue because it's known as a "French Kiss" and it's considered more of a make-out kiss than one of endearment. Some people don't like to French kiss and that's okay. Just be sure to tell him that you don't like kissing with tongue or that you feel using the tongue is less romantic. He's not going to be able to read your mind on this matter so you have to talk to him about it.

[Asker]

Oh yea I know it's called French Kiss. It's just first thing that comes to mind is you just tried to shove your tongue in my mouth. Lol, not oh you just tried to French Kiss me. And I have talked to him about it and said that the whole tongue thing just ruined it being sweet and special.

[Distant]

Good move. Very responsible on your part.

[Stacyzee]

That's just the way he kisses.
His style is a bit different than yours.
The only way he will know how you want to be kissed is if you tell him.
He's not a mind reader.

[whattothink]

It's ok to feel the way you do. Though my first kiss was a french kiss. It was lovely.

[Shadow-Wolf]

Yeah...that kinda takes out the special feeling, especially since he KEPT trying when it was clear you weren't wanting that. You're totally justified in feeling the way you do about it. It sounds like he was a bit stupid and didn't care about it being special, which might mean you should teach him how to actually respect someone or tell him to leave, because he wasn't showing you any respect at all. :/

[Cricket74]

Everyone's different. I had three girls I can clearly remember give me their first kiss. (They initiated) 9, 10, and 17. All Frenched me. I figured this was average, so too your boyfriend.