How do I get my hook-up to chase me again?

[kaeches]

I hooked up with a guy in March. He got into a relationship almost immediately after - although it ended within about three weeks. We kept in touch while apart for the summer and he would text quite a bit (especially in July). A lot of it was sexting and we basically said we would just have casual sex. In July he said he liked me and might want to take me on a date. I told him I'm not much of a dater, but I never said "no" and he seemed sure that I would go. In August his attention kind of dissipated. We talked a few times, but not a lot. We got back to school (university) and we hooked up once more (after a few days of him trying to get me to come over). He hasn't texted a lot, and generally ignores my snap chats at this point. He said we should do it again, and he wanted me over a few days ago but I was busy. I want him to chase me again. I want him to text with smiley faces and say "Hey" first or wish my good morning like he used to. I don't care if it's sex or dating, I just want the attention back so I can tell where he stands. Advice?

[why_not_anonymous]

Keep ignoring him until he's giving you the attention you want.

Say, long time no see stranger!

[kaeches]

So do not get in touch with him first. And then ignore him every time he texts or just sometimes? Last time he texted was on Wednesday to ask "You free tonight?" How do I go about it when that's all he asks? Do I make myself available only sometimes?

[why_not_anonymous]

Hmm, no. It sounds like he's running a classic FWB, which means you call if you're horny.

You'll have to tell him that you want something more, and what that more consists of.

[kaeches]

It's actually not that I want more. I liked the friends with benefits thing. What confused me was the whole him bringing up the dating thing, saying he really liked me, and that he wanted to bring me to engineering events (he's studying engineering and I have several engineer friends at school). And then just disappears. I get the friends with benefits thing, but it'd be nice if he chased me a little bit more - like, in a sexy way. Not just a "come over" way. Also, I'd like to call some of those shots.

[kaeches]

Also, he is mildly confusing in his actions. The first time we hooked up I went home immediately after. Over the summer, via snapchat, he told me he wished I spent the night, that he wished someone was sleeping next to him at the time, and that the next time I better spend the night. He also likes to make eye contact during sex; last time, he like gently held my face and said "Look at me" and then we did the eye contact thing for a little while which was unexpected. And he's a cuddler. So, it's quite confusing.

[why_not_anonymous]

The sexiest thing is communication.

Have this talk with him.

[kaeches]

What should I say?

[why_not_anonymous]

Pretty much what you've said here. You don't care which it is, but you want some more attention. Or, figure out more fully what it is you want, and ask for that.

[kaeches]

Ew, figuring things out. Gross.

[Anonymous]

FUK THAT chase him... We ain't chasing no bitches

[kaeches]

When I do, though, he only responds sometimes. We both have school and all, but it'd be nice if I could be the person who says "Come over" instead of it all being on his schedule.

[Opinion Owner]

He knows he's in control. Say no a few times , that might help in your quest

[Anonymous]

Do not use him.

[kaeches]

Okay well the using is pretty mutual. I wouldn't mind if he would show me the attention he allegedly wanted to give me. Like, do what he says kind of thing.