So I'm an extremely caring person, my sense of empathy id very refined. When someone, anyone, tells me their problems, make themselves vulnerable to me, ask me for advice, I do my best to help them. I love doing it, and feel more people should. So many people are afraid to be judged that they hide themselves, at cost to themselves. I believe in being the change you want to see in the world. I'm very confident in myself, and I practice what I preach.
But I find that the women I want don't seem to want me, though they have no problem telling me there problems, After I've already displayed clear interest in a romantic relationship with them. Don't get me wrong, just because I'm nice, doesn't mean I can't be charming too (Well, I can be funny at least).
I don't know, I just feel like this is why no girl wants to continue dating me. They've always dated assholes, and I really mean that. Verbally, physically, and sexually abusive. It's somehow unmanly to allow yourself to be vulnerable, despite my confidence that it isn't true. I am a man who isn't afraid of being sensitive. If my suspicions are true, then I don't care. I refuse to change my values and become someone I am not just to please these women.
And yet, I still don't have a girlfriend. I had two different girls back out of dates this past weekend, and both seem to be ignoring me. Do I just care too much?
Most Helpful Girl
Compassion is the practice of mercy, not intimacy and sharing problems... which is what you seem to have with those girls.
compassion is to go out and help put an end to skinning live animals for fur or other such acts of mercy... but when you have a deep heart to heart with a girl, its very much a parent / child relationship when one tells problems and the other offers words of support and guidance... i feel this is a taboo when it comes to attraction... a girl will not really ever feel sexual to a person she is in that position with, and will likely not want to much to do with him once she has moved on or changed moods
i would suggest you do let people mind their own business more, and focus on yourself, go practice compassion... there are many who need compassion , but you will not find that need in an abused adult female.. all you would find is intimacy spiced with taboo instinct... we girls have a completely endless pool of intimacy with each other, we do not ever need that with men.
be a man, your own man, and if you have a good heart then take part in helping those who have no voice... its easily the single most attractive and heroic quality in a man... its overwhelming to a great many women, and they will see past virtually any physical flaw or social position or economic short coming1