Will a Guy give a Girl a Second chance?

[Anonymous]

So to make this story short met this guy we both knew we felt the same way. Went on our second date he ask me where I wanted this relationship to go. Since I did not want to rush things I said I would like to start as friends so we could get to know Eachother better. Now we don't talk at all. I know I should have not said friends I regret that do you guys think he could have feelings for me again? I really want a fresh start.

Yes

No

[corbmonster]

I'd like to say you didn't do anything wrong here. So, there is no second chance to be given to you. Did you ask what he thought about the direction of the relationship? Maybe he didn't want a romantic relationship at all if you know what I mean. And when you said friends, he thought best to move along since that wasn't what you were interested in.

[Asker]

He was the one to ask that question on our second date. We both said something serious we wanted something serious. But I said we should be good friends first to get to know Eachother better I dos have a huge attraction to him but I said friends first Cuz I did not want to rush things.

[corbmonster]

Ok, so maybe re-express what you are thinking. Something like : Hey, I am interested in having a relationship, and I am interested in you. I just don't want to jump straight into it. I'd like to go on some dates with you, and get to know you first. Is that something you would be ok with?

[meatballs21]

You need to make it clear to him that you want to get to know him, and that you are open to/intending for it to be a romantic relationship if everything goes well.

He lost interest because he figured you were friendzoning him. Since that's not what you meant, tell him and he might well come back!

[Asker]

Should I tell him or should I give him time?

[meatballs21]

Tell him now.

[Asker]

How? So

[meatballs21]

"Hi, I am sorry if you got the wrong idea. I am really interested in you, I just want some more time getting to know you before we get too serious. Hope you understand."

[Asker]

If you were on his shoes would you understand? And give me that chance? I really said friends because I did not want to fuck it up. I wanted to take things slow because I thought he really was the one.

[meatballs21]

Yes, I'd understand. Don't ever say 'friends' to a guy unless that really is what you mean. The friendzone is an awful monster that rampages around crushing guys' dreams of romance.

I once got chatting to a girl on a dating site, we chatted all afternoon and were enjoying it so much we went and met up for coffee that evening, right after work! We went for a walk and chatted more, agreed to get in touch the next day to make more plans. The next day she messages me and throws in a 'by the way, I'm just looking for friends'. NO. NO NO NO. I felt really lead on, especially since her profile said she wanted dates. I told her as much, wished her well and stopped talking to her after that. Could she have made the same mistake you nearly did? Quite possibly. I'm not going to be 'friends' with a girl I actually *like* like in the fruitless hope that one day she might start to feel the same way about me. Because that is the friendzone.

TL;DR: Be straight and honest with him. Good luck!

[Asker]

so why do you think he's avoiding me now? if I did nothing to him?

[meatballs21]

You did something, you wouldn't have made this question otherwise. He wanted to know what your feelings towards him were, you said just friends. That's not what he was hoping to hear.

Have you explained to him yet?

[Asker]

I did once then he said ok what do you want I said I really wanted him to be my bf and so then he said ok. And he kissed me twice hugged me for like 5 min straight. We were both happy. My bday was the next day he both me flowers took me out had a great time. He even had a song he had learn on his guitar to play for me he had been practicing it the time we did not talk. But at the end of the day he said a that its best if we don't talk at all. I cryed. I said why he says he believes that love has to be felt by the two people when they first meet. Love is not something that you feel over time. I explained to him that love has to grow. ( I'm guessing he said that because I said friends first in the beginning and mabye he tought I did not like him.

[meatballs21]

All this happened since you posted the question? He says ok when you ask him to be your boyfriend, takes out out for an awesome birthday and then at the end basically says goodbye?

[Asker]

Two weeks ago. We haven't talked these past two and a half weeks.

[meatballs21]

Have you explained that you didn't mean 'just friends' but 'a relationship' since this question? That's what you need to do if you haven't.

[Asker]

Do you think there might still be a chance?

[meatballs21]

After two and a half weeks? Not much of one. You can always try but you have to be prepared to move on if he doesn't respond this time.

[Asker]

well in my mind shouldn't he talk to me if he's interested?

[meatballs21]

You can sit back and sit back and never hear from him again, then. He was interested. You told him you only wanted friends, and since he wanted more he decided to drop of the radar because his feelings were hurt. He's not interested in 'just friends'. He might still be interested in 'relationship' but he doesn't know that's what you wanted because you haven't told him!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think the only reason why a guy wouldn't give a girl a second chance would be because they either A) absolutely shattered his heart or B) are just crazy

[Asker]

Well what should I do in this case?

[firefly88]

Yes maybe he is just waiting for you to tell him that you like him that way too

[Asker]

I've told him that day that I did feel for him something but that I just wanted to start as friends because I did not want to go to fast /: but I guess he just thought I did not like him that way. Because he told me he believes when two people meet and they are Ment to be they will feel the same way at first and you don't have to pass time in order to fall in love. I wish I could go back in time and never have said that about being friends /: what should I do?

[firefly88]

talk to him and ask him if he feels the same way, if you know that he does not not, then just leave it.

[Asker]

I feel like he does but since he's a really insecure guy low self esteem he wants to hide his feelings /:

[Prilee1992]

That's what happened when a guy becomes impatient but as a general rule dating is about having fun, hooking up ended up in bed together and not thinking of whether being exclusive until the girl is comfortable to speak it out that she wants to be exclusive.

[lovin_u]

hmm.. I am tempted to say; if he won't talk to you now coz you said friends, then he was never interested anyway.
Usually, if a guy likes a girl, he will talk to her.. even if he wants more but knows its only friendship - coz he genuinely likes her. My guess is he was only after one thing, and now he thinks that's not happening, there is no reason left to talk!

[rocksongwriter]

Be direct.

Just approach him and say that you want a relationship with him and that you only wanted to start as friends so that you could get to know each other better, and that you now regret that you said that. Ask him if he wants a relationship with you now.

[CuddlesWillDie]

It all depends who she is and what she did, when my ex dumped me and wanted me back days later, I rejected her. In my opinion, once a relationship has ended, it is "dead" meaning forever, find a new man, you deserve a fresh start

[Elliot_Evans]

Honestly, I would not give a girl a second chance, but depending on how attached and how forgiving the person is, it could go either way.

[Asker]

Why wouldn't you I sid lets be friends first so we could get to know Eachother a little better take things slow but I did tell him I had started to develope feelings for him. The only reason a said friends first was because I did not want to go to fast.

[BoudyRizk]

Once a guy feels he is friendzoned, that's almost impossibleto recover from
Too bad, you probably won't get a second chance

[Asker]

But I like him.

[BoudyRizk]

You told him you want to be friends (unintentionally)
But that was enough for him to know he is friend-zoned
It will be extremely hard to recover from that
Even if he did give you a second chance, things won't be the way it was

[RandomStudent]

I would, as long as you didn't try to put me in the friendzone again haha

[Curmudgeon]

Since you didn't do anything evil, by all means try again.

[Worldsugliestman]

I voted yes. But as you can see by my pic I have a better chance winning the lottery. before I get a date/GF.

[Klaatu51]

and second and third and fourth...