Is he messing me around? Guys help especially appreciated :)?

[NickyMcC]

Hi so thanks for checking this out for me :) so I've been seeing a guy for about a month now and at the start things were like really good, he was chasing me hard, really awesome dates, really chatty all day and telling me he wanted to be exclusive and that I was girlfriend material, and I loved it, not going to lie! But lately things seem to have cooled way down... like I barely hear from him, even though he's on Facebook pretty much all day, and we were supposed to see each other this evening but he asked to reschedule because he was too tired (out last night for Halloween and the surfing today) and I just feel like he's losing interest and I don't really understand why? I also think maybe there's someone else, with the whole being on Facebook thing all the time, gives me the impression he's chatting to someone else and that he's putting in minimal effort to keep me around, and I was wondering what you guys would advise i do? I'm seeing him tomorrow so I was gona may be bring it up with him then... just kind of ask, if something is up because he seems off... does that seem like a good idea? I duno, think I would just rather know what's going on...

[lonerider]

I am not being judgemental. But did you ever think that he might be going after someone else because of you? You said that he was chasing you hard and expressed the desire to be exclusive. But you said nothing of your behaviour. How warm were you? Were you on the same page as he? Were you ever initiating chats? If you were instead playing hard to get and being a bit cold.. He just thought that you were a waste of time and/or energy and/or money and thought about moving on. Always think about every thing my dear. All good things end, including attraction.

[NickyMcC]

Well I'm in the middle of a postgrad degree so yes I responded well, maybe not always right that second but always responded, he said he did chat up other girls on occasion when he thought I was not responding well but we cleared that up and I have made more of an effort of late but it seems now the tables have turned and I don't really get why? We always had so much fun when we were together and get on so well, but I'm not sure what to think lately, opinion? What do you mean attraction has to end?

[lonerider]

See.. It's human psychology that whatever you offer people, you ( sometimes unconsciously) expect that much in return. So if he paid a lot of attention to you, he probably expected that much back. What was ' well' for you, might have been ' not well enough' for him. He must have expected better from you. And it's not my quote that attraction ends. It's kind of a universal truth. You'll get to know slowly.

[NickyMcC]

Ok i get that! But we had so much fun in person, and I don't think he was in any doubt i liked him enough... but it's only of late this is happening... any advice on what I should do?

[lonerider]

You should take more initiatives.. Show more interest.

[jammasterjay]

You should ask him. Chasing you and then going cold all of a sudden is a bit nutty! lol

[NickyMcC]

I think so too, at first I thought it was just settling into a comfortableness but now I don't thinks so :(... any advice on what I should say, don't want to come on too strong :/ thanks though!

[jammasterjay]

I think you've got a point being confused. So just tell it the way it is... compare how things were when you first got together with how they are now, is he not so keen anymore? There may be a reason behind it. If not he should recognize he needs to be a bit more consistent with his attentiveness to avoid sending mixed signals-hot/cold. Simples.

[LAxVogue08]

Hey,

you seem like someone that can give out great advice!
I have a question; www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1177231-huge-crush-on-my-boss-advise-needed

could you maybe give me some advice?

xoxo

[Moe111]

Hmmm when he was talking to U did u make a effort to talk to him as much as he did? Sometimes us guys can back of a little bit thinking we're annoyin you lol talk to him about it tomorrow and see how he reacts around you... Good luck.

[NickyMcC]

dmmm well I'm in the middle of a postgrad so I'm super busy, like even my mum doesn't get to speak to me so much lol... but yea I always replied at some point, maybe not right away... any advice on what I should say or how to bring it up? Thanks :)

[badger25]

Im sure that is it He probably feels that you are not or willing to put forth the effort that he was. if you do really like him you need to put forth the effort to want to be with him. but if you feel you need to be mainly focused on post grad thats ok but you should let him know.