My boyfriend likes skinny tiny girls better than my kind of figure, which is an hourglass?

[Anonymous]

He says he is more attracted to girls who are really skinny, small boobed, tiny girls. I am 20 and pretty curvy, average waist, I have wide hips, big boobs, and I'm 5'10 . He says he loves my body but he just can't help that he's attracted to tiny girls. I just feel as though I'm the 2nd pick in this, like he's settling for less. I know this all sounds petty and pathetic but I'm just curious as if I should be upset or not, I just feel ashamed of my body now. I feel like when we go out into public and see tiny girls that he's fantasizing abut them or wishing was like that. I just want to be his dream girl. I just am embarrassed of my body that I'm ashamed to get naked in front of him and we've been dating for 3 years. Im afraid to bring it up because he'll probably say I'm pathetic and that he loves me for me but still, i feel like im a second choice. Thanks for taking you time to read about my issues.

[Panorama]

This is what’s wrong with people encouraging and promoting the concept of ‘preference’. He’s probably been telling himself that it’s okay to favor and value one body type higher than another because “it’s his preference” and now look at how it’s effecting your level of confidence. -_- Because you know he’s been feeding himself images of beauty that you don’t embody so by default, you feel like choice #2. Not cool. *sighs* Men really need to be more careful with a woman’s self-esteem. This is the type of situation that can lead to eating disorders or a serious unappreciation for your own beauty.

It’s not a good feeling when the man you want or even love suggests that you inherited the wrong traits because _____ is more attractive. *So irritated with him for voicing that like wtf that’s like you saying you prefer d*cks that are ____, opposite to his, but you still “love him”. Whoops he just inherited the wrong genetic make-up* It’s tough girl, but you just have to love yourself no matter what. You have to find a divine appreciation for your unique physicality and don’t let anyone’s views, opinions, or words take away from that love. Enjoy the way certain cuts of clothing fit on your body. Enjoy the way your tits jiggle *I sure as hell do ; )* Physically touch your body when you step out of the shower, not sexually, but just to get comfortable with the sensation of your body’s uniquely intricate map. The only cure to something like this is extreme, intense confidence, internal beauty, and sex appeal that trumps even the hottest body!! Chin up, you are lovely.

[AllAboutTheX]

So you are saying that all these girls who refuse to date a short guy, a red head, or a fat guy, or a broke guy, or a guy without a career... these girls should also be constantly given shit for having a preference right. Instead of it being accepted across society as female preference.

It seems to me that the only time "preference" is given a hard time is when a guy prefers thin girls over big girls.

Guys should be allowed to have their preferences just as much as we can have ours.

Personally I love guys who look like Ryan Gosling, Justin TimberLake, ... guys like that, but my bf doesn't look ANYTHING like them, but I still LOVE him 100%. What we like and what we love can be two different worlds. That's what fantasy is for.

[Panorama]

@AllAboutTheX Actually no, that’s what YOU are MISINTEPRETING, not what I have said. I didn’t mention any of those examples. You can arrogantly proclaim your opinion, but the whole misused concept of preference will ALWAYS feel premature, unintelligent, and foolish to me no matter what comes out of your mouth so save your entitled little speech for someone who gives a damn.

Maybe in the future try not to be so arrogantly entitled with what you like that you dismiss and negate from what it can do to other’s feelings. That’s ugly.

[AllAboutTheX]

@Panorama You came to an opinion site, Spewed your opinion, had someone disagree, and then attacked them personally for having a different opinion? Who's entitled?

Your opinion mentioned ONLY men and how they perceive women. My "OPINION" pointed out that the world we live in has preference on BOTH sides and it is a human trait but it doesn't affect how the individual sees their partner. You don't have to agree with it or even like me as a person, but attacking me doesn't make it less true.

[Panorama]

@AllAboutTheX I didn’t attack your personally, I just informed you that you sound arrogant and entitled proclaiming it on MY POST (uninvited) as if I’m supposed to compromise my beliefs just because you opened your mouth. What I said is that for me with my life experience, knowledge on culture, and experience with various personalities: Carrying around a ‘preference’ FOR ME feels unintelligent and foolish like something premature I would have done before I graduated to higher thinking. Do you actually digest words for how they are written or just interpret them on your own and assume that what you think describes their intent perfectly?

Look. You’re going to stop speaking to me as if I posted my opinion to gain your approval and impress you. I don’t have to include all layers of preference in my opinion. This is not an English assignment, the original topic is not about preference alone, and you do not get to dictate how people choose to express themselves/how much depth people go into when speaking their minds. I didn’t attack you sweetie lol trust me ; ) You’re not going to insist coming to my post and running your big mouth trying to argue and speak AT ME rather than WITH ME by proclaiming your opinion then getting pissy when I don’t submit to it. If you keep it up, I’m just going to block you: I’m not putting up with people’s drama and negativity.

[AllAboutTheX]

You are free to block me. That's why the button is there.

A subjective 3rd party I am sure would disagree on who here is getting pissy. I have no problem with you disagreeing with me, I have not tried to shame your character or called you names.

In regards to being uninvited... Welcome to the world of online opinion. If you don't want to hear opposing views... You should keep your to yourself.

Good luck with your ongoing fight against social justice.

[Panorama]

@AllAboutTheX I didn’t shame your character or call you names: I expressed how I would feel by choosing the mentality you choose. If you feel those adjectives described you then that’s your own doing, not mine. Just because you step into the world of ‘online opinion’ doesn’t mean that you are entitled to shove your opinion down other people’s throats and then get whiny and play a victim when they don’t embrace it. I have no problem hearing opposing views: my issue with you is your arrogant, entitled, pushy tone. Humble yourself and recognize that the way you proclaim your views by inviting yourself into a conversation you weren’t addressed in is a turn off. Just because we’re online and came to a place to express our opinions doesn’t mean you forget SOCIAL TACT.

Lol, there’s no “ongoing fight against social justice” :stop trying and failing to impress yourself with your dramatic, silly posts. Stop using GAG as an ego boost. It’s sad at your age, hun.

[existing_not_living]

@AllAboutTheX , just saying @Panorama is right. As a "subjective third party", I agree that with her that YOU are the one getting pissy. You are completely missing what she is saying and instead of acknowledging your mistake, you continue to look foolish (at least to me) in your responses to her.

[catzzzrule90]

@Panorama That was amazing. I could not have said ANY of that, better than you did. It was so perfect. You could be a motivational speaker! Lol. And for the women asking for advice in the first place.. Im not as good with words as our friend Panorama here but... my jaw dropped when I read your post. I thought... is this serious? Omfg.. this dude is an idiot and I want to punch him in his face. Not because he has a "preference" or what the fuck ever, but because he has no idea the harm his pathetic, pitiful words can do. Or have done.. Honestly, Im a 100% straight female, but your body sounds gorgeous. I just have to say. There is NOTHING more beautiful (in my opinion) than a healthy, hourglass figure. That is perfection girl! Seriously. Rock that shit! And while he may "prefer" that... bones with some skin layered on top look, then I say, don't let the door hit ya on the way out, k "little buddy"? :)

[Teeetlee]

If he is with you than he clearly loves you but be clear with him that when he's looking at the menu you don't need to know what he'd prefer to eat.
I use to have that problem as well and if he loves you he will respect that you don't want to hear about "his type of girl" any more tell him to be happy with you the way you are or get lost. Because even though people are on here saying you shouldn't worry about, you really should because it is your mental health this is effecting and your self esteem not his. Tell him he can look but you don't need to know if he likes what he see's he shouldn't be telling you this.

[mutedaisy]

You shouldn't be upset, he's with you for a reason. Being skinny would just be an additional plus, but he obviously is open minded about the body shapes of the women he dates. Dream girls don't have to fit he criteria to be a dream. Jesus, you two have been dating for three years? If he wasn't digging your body and the soul within, he would have ended it in the first 6 months.

[RedThread]

You've never seen a man with a better body than your boyfriend? Statistically speaking I'm sure you have. Did you love your boyfriend any less because of it? He wouldn't be with you if he wasn't attracted to you at all. There needs to be attraction to get a relationship started to begin with. I think you're overreacting a bit. I wouldn't mind if my gf found guys more attractive than me because they're out there. It's just a reality. People can be atteacted to different body types.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Ok. Listen and listen good. If a guy is with you, it's because he's into you. All of you. he tells you that he likes your body. That doesn't mean he can never be interested in different things.

Just like you can LOVE Italian food, but also like Chinese food.

If he's been with you three fucking years, that should be enough for your ego.

[AllAboutTheX]

How do you feel about guys who look like the hollywood hunks?
I am sure he doesn't look anything like these guys, but it doesn't mean you don't find him attractive.

His preference doesn't dictate how he feels about you. You obviously have some features he likes about you, or he wouldn't be with you.

[AllAboutTheX]

Since I am blocked by certain people... I have to post a new comment.
@existing_not_living
You post is well taken into consideration. But in saying that, can you at any point of my conversation show where I said anything in the lines of...
"save your entitled little speech for someone who gives a damn."
"Maybe in the future try not to be so arrogantly entitled"
"you sound arrogant and entitled"
"as if I’m supposed to compromise my beliefs just because you opened your mouth."
"Do you actually digest words for how they are written or just interpret them on your own and assume that what you think describes their intent perfectly?"
"Look. You’re going to stop speaking to me as if I posted my opinion to gain your approval and impress you."
"running your big mouth trying to argue and speak AT ME rather than WITH ME"
"you are entitled to shove your opinion down other people’s throats and then get whiny and play a victim when they don’t embrace it."
"my issue with you is your arrogant, entitled, pushy tone."

Not sure how these read to other people but to me they don't seem very pleasant.
I don't believe I had spoke to her in that manner at all, but hey it's text so people interpret things differently.

[LogicBomber]

@AllAboutTheX was being more logical and less abusive for sure. Anyone else agree with me?

[AllAboutTheX]

Thanks Bomber :)

[auljackoftrades]

Girl, fuck him.. he tell you that? Leave him and let him use his left hand. Obviously he prefers that over your figure.

[soe11]

You look like a 007 girl big hip, according your description, fantastic gorgeous girl.

[COCOCHANEL]

at least he's honest... but if your his chosen one then you are the top

[Anonymous]

Maybe he just likes you for you. Guys really aren't that shallow. We say we are, but we really aren't

[SkaterDude]

be tiny or dump him