I love my girlfriend to death, and I do see myself marrying her one day just not this soon.. She told me that she is tired of waiting (we have only been together 14 months) and that she wants me to propose to her within 3 months or we are over... I don't want to marry her because she hasn't grown up yet.. she's 23 and her parents pay for her apartment, and she goes out all night drinking and come home blackout drunk and extremely aggressive.. I'm not sure if I want to marry that, but I do know that I don't want to be without her. What should I do? I'm really confused right now
Most Helpful Girl
One great idea I read (although it is a little messed up) is to get engaged, but stay engaged for a long time. Actually, this would probably work on me lol.
But another idea that I thought of - that could also benefit you even more - is to tell her that you would love to propose as long as she shows you that she can make some life changes in the next 3 months.
1) You want to see her pay for her own apartment
2) You want to see her be able to handle her alcohol and stop the aggression
3) You want her to get into activities in the evening that don't result in her getting black out drunk (a fitness class, or cooking night with the 2 two of you, or a movie night... have some wine and popcorn but she needs to show you she can tone it down)0
Most Helpful Guy
You need to peel out and leave her behind.
Those are some pretty big red flags, and your ages are also red flags. Both of you are pretty emotionally immature, and she definitely lacks any self-responsibility. If you got married, very likely she's going to expect to continue her lifestyle, but YOU will be the one paying for it - and then she's going to resent you for having to work so much and not being able to give her attention or party all night long with her. You can't possibly win, but you can certainly LOSE LOSE LOSE more than you even realize.
I'm sure you've had a lot of fun with her, and may have feelings for her, but she is in no way ready for a serious relationship, much less a marriage, and marrying her would be a disaster. And you know that, which is why you don't want to marry her right now in the first place.
Be smart - break up with her and move on. You can do much better, and she'll either grow up or she won't.1