Is being too open with your girlfriend a bad thing or a good thing?

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend of 4 mo the recently got into a fight and when we made up we got into a deep talks dn I opened up to her and told her about my shady past like how I used to be a player after I got out of my first serious relationship when I dated for a year. Is this a bad thing should I not of told her that? I felt comfortable opening up to her but maybe she'll hold it against me?

Being too open is bad

Being too open is good

Neither

[BigPunny]

After 4 months, I think it's definitely time for you to open up and start talking about whatever comes to mind. Not to mention, it's better to get your skeletons out of the closet early.

Also, it shows a sign of trust on your part. You're trusting her with information you felt was private enough to anonymously come on here and question, so I know she'll appreciate your honesty and your trust in her as your companion.

Too often men close themselves off to their lady-friends, which can cause serious issues in the relationship. It's best to make a habit of being open and honest with her now, because she will begin to trust you more and more.

If it causes her to have bad feelings toward you, or feelings of distrust, then it will be your responsibility to prove your worth to her and to show her that you are not that guy anymore - once she sees you are not that guy anymore, the trust factor will increase exponentially.

Never be afraid to open yourself to the one you love and to the one you plan to stay with. Women are wonderfully forgiving creatures that will surprise you every day of your life. They are a lot more understanding than men (in my opinion), and they are able to forgive the ones they love a lot easier.

So good on you, my friend, and good luck. I hope this helps.

I've been married for going on 17 years, by the way - that's my frame of reference.

[Rawrzz]

She will see you as a player, now, yes. She will fear that you will revert to your old ways. It's pretty much inevitable. If she sees you around any other women, guess what she's going to remember?

People act like honesty is always the best policy. Well, it's not dishonest to withhold information. Particularly when it's in your past and will only cause negative effects if told.

Not to mention, the more you tell her, the more ammunition that gives her to pinpoint your weakest emotional spot and attack it with the ferocity of a lion when the next argument happens.

There are things you can tell her which will bring you closer. But in my opinion, there are things you should not tell her. Just think about the effect.

[Paris13]

As wise as an ol owl that i believe that I am here, dear, you know what the Old saying Says... Let sleeping dogs lie where they flea.
It's Fine in Any New or Old Relationship to have Open lines of Convo. It's very healthy and wise.
However, saying too much isn't always the Golden touch nor is Golden sometimes. With being an Honest John that you seemed to have been, in time, should there be another 'Fight,' she might throw this boner in your own face and you Then... Would have wished you had never gone barking up that tree with thee.
You past is your past so let it go, Joe. What is More Important at this moment in time, is How you are Now... Bury this bone and leave it Alone... From now anyways.
Good luck. xx

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

my boyfriend and i are planning on eventually telling one another everything. we've only been together 2 months so we obviously didn't dump everything about ourselves on each other yet haha knowing these kinds of things about your partner is important. the past is the past but it still helps shape who you are. i don't think telling her that is a bad thing at all. unless you act shady in your relationship, i doubt she's going to hold it against you.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Be open do so.. After each argument making up that way builds a greater relationship. The relationship won't be perfect but it will get stronger and grow each day by the two of you settling down to talk about something thats deep and serious. Once you start opening up? That gives her the green light to start also.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your partner deserves honesty but timing is important. You wouldn't want to tell a girl your deepest, darkest secrets on your first date, but waiting until you are engaged to tell her all the "dirt" is a bit late.

[t3stosterone]

Communication is key my man. That being said you need to let the woman bring up the emotional stuff. You are a man and you create a comfortable environment for sex to happen and for a woman to open up her vulnerable side. That is your role. Fck this new age feminism shit bro. Guys getting soft and talking about feelings and shit. Have some pride. Just reciprocate as she gives. Always keep her wondering and on her toes and she will always be submissive.

[detlef]

More mystery, less history.

As long as you regret being a player, and as long as you were and are safe, I don't see a problem with sharing very limited info about that part of your life.

[Agrojag]

No, in my experience being too open with a girl is always a bad idea because they like the "mystery" and the moment they think they know you well enough they'll start to drift or take advantage of a guy.

[poopedmypantsagain]

Well I have always been open to the women I go out on dates with.. honesty is the best policy.. and all the women that I know love an honest guy.. I do not like liars.. so there for I do not lie.. I like to set an example

[usher30]

is not bad but its normal they act that way cause they can only wonder if u well hurt them. u just have to reassure her that u ain't that person nomore

[DaniJ]

Communication is the only way a relationship can work.

[emilysilver]

Open is always better. However, I would really, REALLY avoid talking about past relationships with any new girl I meet.

[pervertedjester]

Near as I can tell they want more of an emotional honesty from men rather than their men admitting to past crimes.

[ArtDent]

They say they want open, but they can't deal. Trust me,

[TheOldMan59]

There's no such thing as being too open with bf/gf. You're supposed to be in an adult relationship after all.

[skeptic007]

tell her everything so you can get it out the way and if she can't accept it move on to the next girl

[Anonymous]

If I wasn't open to my girlfriend I would be dead cos I have depression and one day I lost it and tried to commit suicide and I said goodbye to her and her cute little bunny face just cryed and I couldn't leave her

[Rowaway319]

How can you be too open?

[ArtDent]

women don't like it when their men unburden themselves emotionally regularly. You'll learn.

[Noxifer626]

No, it's good that you told her.