My girlfriend doesn't treat me like a priority anymore and her friends are more important?

[Anonymous]

so me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 years now so maybe a month or two ago she went off to Job Corps cuz she wanted to finish getting her education I was happy for herits a all girls job Corp and she she met a friend up there and she and her hit it off they pretty much became best palsbut now she starts to neglect me for herbut before she left me and her were kind of been on the outs she has a problem with compassion and showing affectionand my problem is now that she's up there she really starts to neglect me now she barely texts me she barely called when she does text me i text back quick and it takes her a long time to text back when she calls me she's always talking in the background and ignoring meshe never tells me how she feel about me but expresses herself to her friend no problem and the reason I say this because I seen her tagging her in post on Facebook telling her how glad she is to have a friend like her Exedra she said she has a problem with expressing herself to me but doesn't have that problem with her friend I recently have been trying to talk to her about it and I have been kind of upset and moody I'm not jealous or anything well maybe a littlebut thats only cuz you neglect me I'm glad she found her new friend that she gets along with great but it seems like that I am NOT a priority anymore she and this girl mean the world to me but it doesn't seem like I mean that much to her anymore I've been trying to talk to her about it but she always gets defensive and blows me off she broke up because im always bitchin at her and that she is not ready for a relationship and that she can't deal with me always being upset but I wouldn't be upset if she treated me a little better and and stil love me I want to know am I wrong?

Updates

+1 y

She treat me more like a friend then a boyfriend she say loves me and does want us to work but when we are talking and just communicating and sharing laughs it's great but when feelings get involved that's when she shuts down and is defensive is like she doesn't care much about the relationship anymore im so confused help

[ThatActorGirl]

Hey Anon,
Sorry to hear about this; it sounds like you really care about your girlfriend. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt and just say her newly found bestie is something new and exciting and she is so busy trying to be a good friend that she is neglecting the ones who have already been there (aka you). I think you just need to remind her, in a non-pushy or whiny manner, that there are other people who deserve attention too. A gesture such as taking her out to a place you two have never been before or doing something adventurous, yet intimate together. Something that shows her you put thought and effort into your time with her. Show her a good time, remind her that you're there too and you care about her and deserve attention. Remember, don't give her ultimatums or complain about her new friend, that will only start an argument and make things worse. Having a great time out together will surely remind her who is important to her. Lastly, in the event that your efforts do not go as planned and she doesn't show gratitude or fulfillment with you, then maybe its time to find a girl that appreciates a caring guy and who is mature enough to balance all of her meaningful friendships in a way that leaves everyone happy. You deserve to be happy :) Good Luck!

[Asker]

Anytime i bring something she is doing or how she is treating me she get mad and defensive and say im always upset and causing problem and thats only because nothing never gets reslove she always say if im go complain i can go find someone else and not what i want i want her all I wanted her to acknowledge my feelings and treat me a little better and try a little harder

[ThatActorGirl]

Yeah, like I said don't confront her about anything. In her eyes, she's just being a good friend to this new person in her life. So if you try to guilt trip her or "open her eyes" to how she is treating you, that will result in her getting defensive on you. Actions speak way louder than words. Schedule a fun, relaxing and new date with her. Focus on each other. Don't mention her new friend. Make it only about you two! If she passes on that opportunity, I don't think she deserves your efforts. You don't have time to be bothered with anyone who leaves you questioning whether or not they care about you. You're better than that :)

[Asker]

she still at Job Corps the only time I get to talk to her its either she texted me or called me she almost never replies to my text or callsI just miss her so much and I don't get the same backshe's going to be a job for for another year only time I will get to see you this summer for summer break

[ThatActorGirl]

From what you've told me, I get the feeling that she may have moved on. Maybe its time you open yourself up to new friendships too. Whatever her deal is, she's not doing a good job at making you feel cared for. It would be completely understandable if you starting making time for other people and let her calls and texts go unanswered

[DiegoO]

Just leave her, life is short. Loving someone shouldn't cause pain. If she can't appreciate what you have done for her let her go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

[Asker]

dude I love that song

[DiegoO]

Even though I have a girlfriend and I am not planning to brake up whit her this song just sounds in my head, It's one of the best I've heard so far. xD

[skeptic007]

break up she's probably cheating