I did a stupid thing last fall. There was a guy I had talked to when I was a sophomore in college (I'm a senior now), we met on Tinder (yeah I know) and texted all the time, and then he got less and less frequent. We never actually met even though every time I said I wanted to he was all for it. (supposedly). Then he just stopped talking to me entirely. It took me way too long to get over him, and when I finally did, he texted me again and was all "hey, do you still have my number?" to which I said, "Yeah I do, where the heck did you come from?" Not specifically those words but that was the idea. He said he "regretted not at least trying to stay friends" because I was "one of the best people he'd ever met" blah blah blah. Naturally I slipped right back to where I had been when we were first talking, head over heels again. He said he'd moved and asked if we were closer now. We had been about thirty minutes apart before. Now it was three hours. I was like... yeah, no. Nice try though. I tried texting him a few times after that and got no response.
So needless to say I got over him a lot quicker that time. Kind of a jerk.
I would communicate clearly in the event of a misunderstanding. Otherwise if there's no misunderstanding, I'm out.
Sometimes you think a person is playing games when really they are confused. So I make sure we're all clear. If they are just playing games no way. Not just bc there's no reason to expect it to stop, but because they've been disrespectful and accepting them back is accepting their behavior. I think it's important to have boundaries and to sync behind them, for yourself. It helps too bc you don't have to re assess each situation. You come to know where you stand what you put up with what you won't, and move on easily. Thinking about something us an investment. If you don't have to think about if which you don't if you know your boundaries, it's easy to let go if a bad situation.
I actually have been seeing someone, but now haven't heard from him for about a week. He has a new work schedule that prevented us from seeing each other so that might be it, but I wonder if he is ghosting on me right now. I have already decided, that if he thinks that he is just going to show up after a week and half or two weeks and try to hang out again, even if I do still like him that there is no way. What would make him think he could disappear for that long and then show up and I am just going to be like, "Sure! Cool!" So, over it or not, too much pride to be treated that way.
If a person is ghosting you on purpose and then they all of a sudden come back. To me that just seems like their other options fell through and now they are coming to you.
in my opinion I don't want to be a second, third or even fourth choice. I want to be the first choice. If someone doesn't make me a priority then why be with them?
I'm not conceited, but if someone is ignoring you and not responding to your messages before you are even together, how are they going to be as a partner?
After a woman tries to get in touch with me after ghosting me... here is an actual text conversation:
Her: Heyyyy :).
Me: What the fuck do you want?
Her: I'm just saying hi.
Me: I don't care. I tried talking to you a few times a few weeks ago and you completely ignored me.
Her: I was busy. Sorry.
Me: Don't contact me again.
Girls always say this shit. "Oh, I was busy". Yeah... but you can still post on social media and Snapchat? Fuck that. If you're going to play games, don't fucking talk to me. Simple as that.
When they came back they only wanted something from me. Some are more patient than others. I didn't accept any of them back. And when they asked me for whatever they wanted I would say no and they would disappear again. People come back when they either want something from you or realize just how good you really are.
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In my case, I did not take her back. We really hit it off as friends first for a long time before we dated much later on. Things were going great, but near the end, any affection I received from her felt incredibly forced, like she was doing the minimum she could to get by.
We had a talk not long after and decided that we were better to each other as friends and would remain as such. It wasn't as awkward as it would normally seem because we had already built that friendship and respect for each other long before we dated.
Things remained relatively great until she ghosted me 2 weeks later and blocked me from everything and on the same day, a mutual friend asked me what I was going to give her as a gift for her recent engagement and I'm like "What engagement?". I found out from a few people that she had been talking to her ex while we dated and broke up with me to get back with him.
I was hurt and angry and never truly got closure, but life wasn't going to stop from her and I decided to move on. Two years later, she messages me out of nowhere asking how I've been and such. I try to be polite so we talked while I was asking a mutual friend what it was about. Turns out, she and her fiancee broke it off not even a week ago. Without ever bringing up that I knew about her engagement, I told her:
"This might seem as random as you contacting me, but I want to let you know that I forgave you a long time ago for how things ended, and if what happened ever crossed your mind, then I hope this conversation can provide you with comfort that you don't have to worry anymore. With that being said, as much as I miss the old days, I'm a different person now and I can't be the friend I used to be. I wish you the best."
I never got anything after that, but I'm completely okay with that.
I really feel like it's the thrill of the chase, and it's so annoying bc it feels like a big game lol. They don't want you when you want them, then when you fall back, they want to come back in your life and put in real effort for all of five minutes. Then you give in again, they fall off again, and so goes the vicious cycle of situationships. I've personally let a guy back in after being ghosted and let me just say it wasn't a smart move lol. People don't change over night, so usually nothing has changed, even though you wish it had.
I don't know about specific relationships exactly. In terms of ghosting in general, I would probably have no problem accepting them back; others might disagree. I would say some ghosts take far, far longer than others to get over. Some people mean more than others, and it also depends how long someway is away; it could be seconds or millenia.
It depends, if it's game playing I'm out if it's a misunderstanding, or a defensive ploy on their part I'm all ears to hear what they have to say, if they were lying to me, they better have one hell of an excuse.
I recently got ghosted and he came back after about a month of silence.
When he came back we talked again like it never happened. Of course I'm scared he'll ghost again, but I guess it's a chance I'm willing to take. Things have been going pretty good since he came back.
I've never had it happen as you describe, but I'd be pissed off unless they had a very good explanation.
"I was busy" is not a very good explanation.
If it's a guy doing it, hell no he can go fuck himself. If it's a girlfriend of mine then maybe. I took someone back but that is because she used to be my best friend
If someone comes to me after ghosting on me,
I will accept them but i won't engage my emotions with that person.
I get ghosted all the time. Not often do they come back but when they do, nah I'm done. That ship has sailed.
I was over it. She was my only friend, and she stabbed me in the back like a little b*tch. Friends don't tell secrets.
Once you're gone, you don't exist in my life anymore
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If someone comes back after ghosting me that lets me know that they don't care and I would never accept someone back who did that
Had this happen to me. She ghosted me for 3 days then came back profusely apologizing. Took her back then she did it again a week later. Also emotionally unavailable and a game player yet she accused me of playing the games. Whatever.
Dirty smirk.
"Ah... we meet again."
the majority of time I'm the one who ghosting so I'll take them back
I was soo over them, dont know why they came back.
Absolutely not. I ignore them.
That's never happened to me before
I have said no to the most recent.
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