Guy still uses tinder even after he says he doesn't multi date?

I'm going crazy.
Weve gone on 2 dates and 3rd one is soon. I asked what he's looking for. He said to find someone to invest in and a keeper. He talks and texts me everyday. Snaps me a lot as well. So he shows he likes talking to me. He said he wants to date me. I asked him are you multi dating? He said no, he used to but not anymore. I checked tinder and it says he was online 1 day ago. -__-
im going crazy because now I feel like he's going to find someone better and because I invested so much already I'm going to be kicked to the curb. I keep overthinking and analyzing. It's killing me and I'm not myself anymore. I am highly insecure though and I'm trying really hard to trust him. I want to wait until the 3rd date to see if I should stay or if I should go. Right now I'm thinking I should tell him we should stop but I'm trying to wait it out and give him benefit of the doubt. What should I do?

  • Wait until the 3rd date
  • Leave if you're not happy
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tinder is not typically synonymous with long term relationships.

    That being said, many guys nowadays date many women at once. It was something I was doing back in the day.

    The reason is not because we are "players" or "fuckboys", at least not all of us. It is simply a means of protection. Most of the time, at least in the initial stages of dating, it is the girl who wants out.

    Now imagine being a guy who dumped all his eggs in one basket only to find out that some new guy hit on the girl he went on a few dates with, and now the girl likes the new guy more.

    In my case at least I talked to many girls at once to "spread out my feelings". If one girl had stopped talking to me for whatever reason, I would forget about it pretty quickly as I would have others around.

    Does this seem that I was having sex with all of them? Nope.
    Does this mean that I will be a cheater? Nope.
    Does this make me a fuckboy? I wouldn't think so.

    Anyhow, I hope this helps you out a bit :)

    • I understand. So how can I know I'm girl A above other girls?

    • Show All
    • Anyways, thank you. Really your advice was nice!

    • Best of luck to you! For now I think everything is just fine, just go with the flow 😁

Most Helpful Girl

  • oh god lol dont be so insecure. You guys just started dating- he's allowed to date whoever he wants. just dont get too invested too fast. you can keep seeing other people too. I tend to get attached fast too so i make sure im talking to other people when i first start seeing someone- this helps me realize there are other guys out there and stops me from thinking too much

    • You're absolutely right.
      I get attached way too fast. Lol
      I'm trying to take it slow but I'm so used to just jumping into things and being impatient. So this one is a true struggle for me.
      But I don't multidate. I can't see multiple people when I'm interested in one person. If he dates others then that's on him. I'll stick to my standards though. :)

    • Yeah I do too. It's definitely a fault sometimes, but some guy will appreciate it I hope haha maybe you could try gettig on tinder while you're dating just to talk to other people- not go out with them. Just talking to other people helps

What Guys Said 3

  • i had a girl who used to do the same thing to me!

    my opinion? he's lying to you - that pretty much sums it up all his attitude : he's out having fun and taking whatever it may be more cool to him

    that's funny tho, i never thought girls these days may be turn off by this behaviour

    • Eh. If he's lying then whatever. He still calls me when he's finished hanging with his friends and snapping me when he is with his friends. We've talked every single day for a month straight and still have dates so I'll just go with it. I came to the sense that if he has to date multiple girls to feel better about himself then that's cool. I'm interested in him and I'm going to try. If he says I'm not the one then hey his loss. :)

    • you're free to do whatever you want, but watch out

    • I definutely will!
      Nothing to watch out for.
      Those who try to play me only play themselves.

  • Do people really look for relationships on tinder?

    That's like reaching into a bucket of fish guts and expecting to find ambergris.

    • Initially I was just looking for guys to be friends with. I don't have make friends. But then he asked me on dates and I got sucked in. So now I'm in. He doesn't try anything sexual with me though.

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    • okay, so can I ask if talk is cheap, how do I know if someone will want long term with me? Will they ask me to be their girlfriend right off the bat? He said he's looking forward to seeing where this goes. To be honest I've never dated someone this long before. He's the only one I've gone on real date s with.

    • I... don't really know :/

      I want to know the same thing to be honest lol

  • Leave if you're not happy


What Girls Said 2

  • All the red flags of a fuckboy. RUN RUN RUN. Tinder's a cesspool anyway. The good guys on there are NEVER the ones to agree to meet people. They have some common sense, a certain aversion to this type of "dating" and respect for themselves. Like think about it. A guy should have enough options in real life to choose from, you know? I don't know to me Tinder is a red flag

    • He's not even that attractive but he's kind and sociable. I don't want to label him just yet because he hasn't tried anything sexual whatsoever with me or mentions it. I just need to know if I'm being stringed along again

  • How does it say he was online 1 day ago? They got rid of that feature awhile back, did you never update your app?

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