Which gender has to put more effort into dating and relationships? (Page 3)
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I'd argue those who have it easier are more attractive people, regardless of gender. (and those that have it harder are less attractive people, regardless of gender as well).
If women swoon over a guy (like, say, charlie sheen/harper), then for said guy approaching is not really an issue as women give him a very positive response.
If a woman is very hot then she has lots of guys asking her out and taking her to dates and such.
Now, for a guy who is not very attractive, it kind of sucks as the large majority of women he will approach will not give him a positive response. Yet he still has to keep trying.
And for not very attractive women it also kind of sucks as she probably isn't asked out much by those she would like (who ask out those more attractive than her)
Men do because most women want a dude to do all the relationship work for them. I don't blame men for assuming most women won't do anything since that's the majority it seems.
yeah and it's getting out of control
If your man loves you, you don't have to look good all the time and he'll tell you, you are beautiful. If you're a grown up woman who cares about men and women having equal rights you'll pay for the dates just as much as he does. No men don't always have to approach the woman, sometimes the women has to approach the man! In my opinion this question is completely irrelevant.
By the way before someone turns around and tells me no relationship is like this, MINE is!
I believe that it's equal, why would it lean on one gender more than the other? You both got into the relationship based on mutual interest and attraction, so why not both of you to contribute to making it work, I don't want to be dependent on a guy to be the only one working hard, it should be shared :)
Both, for me, dating is a really nerve wracking experience, i haven't been out with a girl in about 6 years, and i wouldn't expect a girl to be any less nervous about it, because it's daunting just thinking for things to talk about, true, people have different roles based on society gender roles, but still, hell of a nerve wracking experience.
They BOTH should put the same effort. Like, each of them have their "duties" I guess.
about men paying for everything, thats kinda changed these days, or at least its changing. And one more thing... men also gotta take care of their appearance, especially on the few first dates XD
Men have to do self maintenance and look good too...
Men definitely have it harder
its not even a question
A man also needs to be making money, have his own place and car, most women want an educated man.
Men just want a girl that makes them feel good, and looks pretty
Men for getting into the relationship, approaching. But after that, it begins to even out. If you're doing all the work later to maintain the relationship, then you chose the wrong partner and you deserve no sympathy.
Depends on who holds the power in the relationship. A girl will try harder if she thinks the guy is the catch or vice versa.
Effort on women's part drops completely off when they get what they want via marriage. Power is unequally distributed in that deal since that institution benefits the women more so than the men. Then they don't have to look good ever again, unless they want a new man or a man (men?) on the side.
women have to do more BC the biggest emphasis (by society) is put on what MEN WANT
It really is, isn't it? Haha, I wonder how much women would care about their looks if men didn't put so much emphasis on it.
We don't... you do :) Most woman put on makeup? Most woman tend to think that way, of thinking guys care about looks. Its the real guys like myself, and say its your personality.
You still have to care about yourself because it's good.
Women care about looks too.
Us caring about your looks above all else is what makes dating easy for women, any women who goes to the gym and gets a nice body is immediately attractive to almost all men. Her job is already done, she doesn't need to do anything else besides maybe put makeup on.
women bc tons of men come at us. we put ourselves in dangerous situations to meet new people. we don't know sometimes where the guy is taking us. should we pay? tons of stuff
You only saying those things, because you haven't met the right person. Who are you anyway? A saint? Woman can't be trusted, and can become dangerous.
oh I'm far from a saint, believe that.
but let's keep it real. how many men go missing or get beat, raped, and chopped into little pieces by their dates
But now your basing your facts on the minority of people. Am I any of those people you've mentioned "missing or get beat, raped" or what ever horable stuff that happends. But you can't also talk about the majority of men either.
I'm Evan, and I know who I am. And don't assume to think you know how everyone is going to act.
Seeing your picture, knowing what you look like. Anf seeing your age. I would think you would be smart in realizing what I'm saying. Because I bet you've had some rough times by others. Most men use beautiful woman. And I'd understand, if thats why you think, the way you do.
no, I don't think your anything like that. just expressing some of the fears that go with the women's side of dating
The fear of dating? Try talking to you in person, if you where in my shoes. That's scary.
At the same time, you don't think of me being one of those people, but accused "tons of men"? Hate to say this, but people put themselves at risk. Then blame "tons"
When dating, choose to think a bit different. Rather than thinking you have it rough? We all have things to overcome :) My appeal for one. My coincidence, in which takes longer than most. Well, look at me, and find out.
I do believe it's hard on men too, I just am not a guy so from what I see all you guys gotta do is ask us out, pick us up (only sometimes, sometimes we meet you) and take us to the place of your choosing within your budget. lol, don't get mad, I'm just generalizing and assuming based on how it looks from my perspective
How many have you asked out? And not mad :) Just having a convention. Most woman can't, and don't respond to facts. And from your prospective? Well, its a bit one sided, and a bit distorted from the previous comments on over generalizeing:)
From your prospective on dating, seems to work for you? Are you single?
I've never asked out a guy. seriously, like ever. I know it's got to cause some anxiety in both parties. emotional wise. but girls go through all this getting ready, being in danger, being feminine while on the date, plus we have to be more selective about who we say yes to, wonder if we should offer to pay, have some guys asking us to stay the night on the 1st night. guys throw on some nice clothes, pick her up, take her to dinner, decide if u like her and that's it. anything more you do is your own move! you don't like her, finish the date and drop her off. never ask her out again, your done. if you try anything more that's cause you chose to. never ask her out again
how is that hard on guys?
You don't think we have lots to go on too. It's emotionally for men. Its not as easy as just picking someone up, then deciding that if I like her, or not. First off, its easy for me to like woman. But I'm not one of those that wants to sleep with someone the first day. At the same time, thats the womans fault too, if they both sleep with one another.
true
For all I know a girl could be a whore trying to use me
It's not fair to compete over this. There has been too much hype about throwing these 2 genders against each other and too little effort to help them communicate better. And this is not one of the ways to make us communicate better. In the end, it doesn't matter that much, does it? :)
I can't believe the women on this site. I'm 25 years old. Didn't even have my first kiss until I was 23. I've tried approaching girls all my life too. Girls can literally just sit back and relax and guys will come to them and their pickiness is their biggest obstacle.
Guys do hands down. That's just the way things are setup. Ideally, that begins to shift with age tho, because the man has put in enough effort over time to develop himself that eventually the effort is more about maintenance in certain areas than growing everything and he hopefully has a loving woman that puts in more effort into the relationship as well.
Men are mostly thought of as the providers and the ones that should be the initiators. A girl can be whichever in the relationship, either a provider or nurturer. But the men are looked upon as the provider, maybe not as much now, but I think this is still a norm.
Men.
"Oh well we have to look nice" lots of guys sit there in the bathroom for a fucking hour. I personally don't give near that many shits.
Guys are expected to approach and pay for the dates and drive etc.
Girls are expected to eat food, be somewhat interesting and say 'yes' when approached by a guy they have interest in.
It's a very, very rare occasion when a girl asks a guy out, even when she knows he liked them and he has no clue.
I know it's supposed to be 59/50 but that's only an average. In any given day I'm pretty sure we do, if only for the looks prep and outfit change time. Guys can just roll out of bed. I means lot of movie star guys have hairdo's like they just did anyway. You never see a woman on the red carpet with bed head. Lol.
I think movie stars are the exception but the general guy has to look good by working out and doing facial scrubs, doing their hair and wearing nice clothes too lol or else we don't get a date
@starzcapz In finding a date I agree guys also have to look good, but I thought this was talking about relationships
I think men put more work in when it comes to the asking and paying at first. But once it becomes a relationship I think women put a little more into it. Cuz we are always trying to fix the issues when guys tend to want to ignore them and hope they go away. That's just in general. But I believe depending on the relationship both put the same love toward each other just in different ways.
I don't understand all these guys saying all women want is money, good looks, good jobs, etc... Am I an alien amoungst women. First of all my first relationship was with a man I fell in love with over the phone and didn't even know what he looked like. I knew I wanted to be with him so I drove down and met him. He was a bit over weight and had a goofy smile. But I loved him for him. He had a minimum wage job and I ended up spending 15 years with him til he fucked up. Then two years ago I met my boyfriend now. He had no job and was drinking himself to death until I came along. Honestly we both didn't want anything serious. Just have fun and have great sex. He took me on one date as he was broke. But during the time we spent together we fell in love, I moved in as he needed a roommate cuz he couldn't pay the rent with no job yet and I was our only source of income. I didn't judge him. Not all women are so materialistic. I got to know and love him on the inside. We have come a long way.
I've always made the guy work for it. If he wants me he won't give up. I've had some boring guys and then they get annoyed that I'm not that interested. Cause they're BORING lol. Always initiate and pay for the girl the first while. After some level of comfort and noticed effort I like to give, a lot. I like to make sure the guy is in it for the right reasons before I put myself and my weirdness out there.
Of course. The guy has to put himself out there before you do. Why do women always think like this? No guy wants to stay around someone who looks at them as some kind of personal entertainment.
@dontknow12 See this woman's way of thinking is what gives us all a bad name. Know we are not all like her and actually some of us think we should give as much as we get. I expect nothing from a guy besides treating me as I treat him.
@PinkMichae I agree with you. Opinion owner sounds like she has princess syndrome or something.
With that attitude I am surprised any guy wants to date you.
lol. Men pay for the first date thats it. Either theyve never been with a female or theyve dated some entitled people.
Your examples can be relative to both sexes.
Appearance? Women are judged far more.
Education? Both men and women
Manners? Both men and women
Men have it harder on whom they approach However, women have more expectations on them.
women are judged far more for their appearance? lol ok
also you contradicted yourself you went from Men pay for the first date thats it too Men have it harder on whom they approach. women are pretty picky these days, and one false move and a man will get rejected.
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