Boyfriend looking at escorts?

[xogwenlux]

So i just went into my boyfriends phone and looked at the internet history.. I saw backpage and craigslist escort pages. Like a lot. Just some background, i've always seen him looking at them when i go through his phone but i never asked him about it. I always knews though. But one time when i looked at the messages he had MESSAGED an escort.. He has a tendency to hit up other girls while he's fucked up but he stopped.. anyways he's passed out while i'm looking at this basically the messages are he says hey, she says hey babe, he asks how much for how long outcall/incall etc,, She answers him. He gets the address. He says 20 mins. Then asks if she has condoms. And nothing else. To me, that looks like he slept with an escort. So when i confronted him about it, he was offended, he got really defensive, talking about he doesn't have to pay and if he wanted to cheat he didn't need to with an escort. Blah blah basically just made himself look bad but he kept trying to convince me that he hadn't even though i insisted that it was over. The last time he started crying and got really emotional because he said i didn't believe him. So, i had him hold my hands, and look me in the eyes and i asked him "Did you sleep with someone else?" He looked at me and said No. So i believed him and we moved on. I just want to know why he looks at escort pages.. Still.. I haven't asked him because i don't want him to feel like i don't trust him. but it really bothers me !

[Chico_brah]

I've checked out the backpages just out of curiosity. A lot them have videos posted. I've fapped to backpages a couple times.

The idea of having a legitimate whore in my bed within less than an hour.. The same girl in which I'm fapping to.. Never met in my life.. sort of turned me on. I think it was the fact that prostitution is considered wrong, and like I said before.. The fact that she is a legitimate whore. I wanted to use some of these girls as a bimbo sex doll. Like an object..

It's all fantasy though.. A lot of weird shit turns me on. I don't need to pay for sex. I didn't need to pay for sex before I met my girlfriend.

This idea sprouted in my head when I got offered to do a security position to guard these call girls. I screen their clients and drive them around. Supposed to be doing it right now during Christmas break back home but I have been dealing with a family emergency since Thursday. I'm going to most likely start this weekend. Should be an interesting gig.

But dude.. I would never message these girls though.. Nor talk about condoms. I'm pretty sure he cheated on you. I'd break up and get tested.

[Chico_brah]

This week** not weekend.

[xogwenlux]

I think that's what he was doing but i agree that that is a bit out there.. It was a few months ago. I'm pretty sure i've gotten tested since then because i get my blood taken being pregnant.. I was trying to work it out for the purpose of our child but.. Obviously it's not working

[Chico_brah]

Dude you fucked up by letting an asshole knock you up. Bad judgement error. But hey, you have a child to now take care of now and im sure you care deeply about that child. You need to dump him.

You're an attractive 22 year old. Getting back into the dating game will be harder as a single mom no doubt but I'm sure you'll eventually find a man to help father your child assuming that you're a normal and decent person.

If you stay with him throughout your 20s and leave later on.. It's going to be much harder.

You need to look out for interest of your child as well. Do you really think this guy is suited for the job? It's not fair to raise a child in a bad situation like that.

[xogwenlux]

After the experience i've had with him i could care less about dating in the future. As much as i would like to leave and i really would like him off the record, he wants to be in her life, even if he's not suited, he's determined to be there. I was trying to make it work for the sake of having "one happy family" but not at the sacrifice of my own security.. Thanks for answering

[super147]

You don't want him to feel like you don't trust him and yet you kind of don't and he's not really done anything to secure your trust. He is still looking at escort pages and in the past he actually got as far as messaging an escort and discussing the details of a transaction. He got defensive and offended last time but you don't mention if he directly acknowledged what he had done and managed to explain those messages with the escort? Getting defensive can be a standard mechanism for a guilty party because it deflects away from their actual guilt.

He was guilty of attempting to set up a meet with an escort, whether he went through with it or not. If his texts had been with a hitman arranging your murder, would you be so forgiving? Would the police?

My point is that unless he has acknowledged what he did and has been entirely honest about WHY he did it then you have no guarantees of anything, particularly when he's still looking up escorts all the time. There are massive red flags here, he is straying from you mentally at the very least.

[xogwenlux]

He did that since we started dating. He's always looked at them. I tried to ask his brother about it and he said he knows & that he's reached out to them before but he wouldn't say anything else

[super147]

It's hard to quantify his level of intent. If it was just with random girls rather than escorts then you could say that it was about ego, about him wanting to feel wanted even if he feels that from you anyway. Some people can't help but flirt because they never quite feel validated enough.

However, the fact that it's with escorts suggests a real intent because everyone knows that escorts don't give you attention, they give you a service for money. The fact that he has messaged an escort about specifics would suggest that he has seriously considered hooking up with one for sex.

What is your sex life like? You mentioned further down the page that you are pregnant, is that correct? Has his behaviour only been whilst you have been pregnant or was it happening before that too?

[xogwenlux]

Yeah i know.. apparently he gets a kick out of it. He never had an issue with me being pregnant until just a few days ago and he just said he didn't want to give me oral anymore because of stuff going on down there.. this whole time we've had sex frequently if not more than before.. and i think he enjoys it. He's looked at the pages and such since we've been together. I just didn't know until we were closer and he gave me the password to his phone. I would only look out of curiosity not really find anything but when i did it shocked me and when i asked him he laughed it off and said that he gets off from looking sometimes.

[super147]

There is a difference between looking and actively engaging. How did he explain away having messaged an escort about specifics, including whether or not she had condoms?

[xogwenlux]

All he could say was that he was just messing and that he never went. And i said i don't know that i need proof. He said i don't know how to and i asked for him to call her but he wouldn't.

[xogwenlux]

He get's a kick out of messing with people which i can see that in everything he does but that seemed farfetched to me and honestly like a load of bullshit

[super147]

You know, in some cases we can't get proof of an actual event. All we can do is to consider all the supporting evidence and make a judgement call. We may get it right or wrong, but if there is enough thick black smoke then we can be forgiven for suspecting a fire. What your guy has done, and is still doing, would be massive red flags to most people.

If he said that he likes messing around with escorts, pretending to set something up but not actually doing it, then you should have made it clear that you don't like that and don't find it acceptable or funny. Maybe you did express that at the time and yet he's still looking up escorts.

I don't believe that he just does it for kicks and nothing more. I believe that he is toying around with the idea of going through with something, if he hasn't already. Perhaps in his self justification he believes that it's not cheating if it's with an escort. Either way, if he just wanted erotic stimulation he could use porn.

[Anonymous]

And rightfully so. Ask him what's going on. Maybe there is something lacking in your relationship and this is why he feels the need to outsource.

[xogwenlux]

Every time i ask him he says it's like porn to him. He looks at it like porn.

[Opinion Owner]

It's stepping outside of porn, if you're looking for a root.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for MH

[livils33]

why is he even looking at stuff like that while in a relationship with you? Alarm bells..

[martyfellow]

Even if he hasn't hired one yet, still, he sure is thinking about it!! No oether reason for him to have the sites on his phone.

Start with a slap and go from there.

by the way, welcome to the site, I see this is day 1. Sorry you are having this problem!

[GingerGuy]

Well regardless of his intentions or what he has or hasn't done, it bothers you so that's all that matters. I'd tell him how bothered you are about it (if you still want to try and make it work?) and then he has the choice to stop it or not. If not, then I'd say goodbye and look for someone new. Because regardless of whether he actually goes through with it or not, it's going to cause problems in your relationship because it creates doubt and you don't feel you can fully trust him.

[chrisbigman]

It's very likely that he's cheating on you or was about to. Not sure if it's true, but I suppose the reason he does is that you for some reason don't turn him on anymore. That is obviously no excuse to look at escort pages while in a relationship. He should talk to you about it and give you suggestions or break up with you instead of resorting to escorts.

[arunmag]

I guess you are not satisfying his sexual need. You are the one to complain. Be happy that he is not cheating someone for sex but he is paying for sex. You should be ashamed.

[xogwenlux]

Get the fuck off my shit

[bubbakong2006]

The thought of strange pussy turns a guy on and fucking someone new is always exciting but you don’t want to lose what you already have so you try and hide that you are horny for other pussy to

[NYkid27]

I think it's pretty obvious that he's cheating. There's no reason to contact escorts unless you want to have sex with them

[xogwenlux]

I don't know he always tells me where he's going and what he's doing and we live together.. and i'm pregnant.. I don't know

[NYkid27]

Maybe he isn't really attracted to you right now because you're pregnant so he's using escorts? I don't mean to be pessimistic but I really can't see another reason why he'd look up and message escorts

[xogwenlux]

Nothing seemed to change at that point at the time when i found the message we were having sex every day and he always wanted to..

[NYkid27]

Maybe he just has a thing for escorts then. Some guys do

[Bandit74]

"Still.. I haven't asked him because i don't want him to feel like i don't trust him."

Well it sounds like you don't trust him, and to be honest maybe you shouldn't.

[Decentguy]

your boyfriend sounds like a very fishy guy to me. and dont believe when he cries, some people are soo much shitty that they use their tears to manipulate people

[Shawn58]

Yea he's probably cheating and if he isn't cheating he's probably planning on it, I've been on backpage w nd even contacted the escorts those hoes mean buisness so if he contacted them he's probably cheating or very well planning on it

[glasseskid]

Dump his cheating ass. Defensiveness, especially in the way he responded, no doubt is an attempt to cover up guilt. "If I wanted to cheat, I wouldn't have to pay for it" is NOT an okay response when your girlfriend asks you about risky messages.

[foesmoes]

I do that too. but I ve never slept with any.. I just like browsing, that deosnt mean I will sleep with them.. Its unhealthy anyway. he's looking just because it's fun.. maybe fantasizing but thats all. u dont need to worry... @xogwenlux

[Centurion20000]

Are you his wife? Stay out of his phone.
Jeez that's immediate grounds for a breakup.

[xogwenlux]

He knows ihave the password to his phone in fact he has the password to mine and we both go in each others phone frequently but thanks for the advice.

[Centurion20000]

How exactly are you expecting to have a healthy relationship when you don't respect each others privacy? I mean husband and wife? Sure unlock the phones. But anything less, leave each other a corner to stew. And factory reset the phones on your wedding day.

[xogwenlux]

Yeah i don't agree with that. Husband and wife is only a legal title.

[Thrifty]

Yeah he def banged escorts. Usually the ones on backpage and craigslist are the cheap and nasty ones, too.

[Cartoonfish863]

I wouldn't trust him again. Also if I where him I wouldn't trust you for checking his internet history

[Intraluminal]

Yeah he did. Hope he used that condom.

[redridinghood]

He 99 percent cheated !!! :/ men @@@@@@@@

[BronzedAdonis]

Is your boyfriend JRICHARDS1996?

[xogwenlux]

No..

[Anonymous]

He's lying to you bb I'm sorry:(

[BeastRB]

He's cheating. Dump him.

[unknownpoet]

shame on you to check your boyfriend phone.