I know my story can sound a bit much, I'm being honest, I just want advice.
When I was 16 I was already living on my own, my friend (since childhood almost like a brother) at the time went to prison for 5 years, he had a 3 month old baby (the baby's mother/his girlfriend died from drug overdose) and we made an legal arrangement that I would take care of his 3 month baby till he got out, I wanted to help him and he has done a lot for me. So I basically raised this baby for about 5 years, and I bonded with her to the point where I saw her as a family member, sometimes maybe as my own kid. She even called me dad (even though I always explained to her that she already has a real dad) Eventually he got out of prison and was able to raise her.
When I was 24 (the baby was 7 years now) He got killed from a gang member on some crime thing he was involved in and they put her up for adoption. I wanted to adopt her, and tried but I wasn't able to and a family eventually adopted her when she was 8 years old. So I basically moved on with my life even though on some level I loved that child almost as if she was my own. Now I am 35. I met this girl recently who is 20 years old and she was amazing, and we started dating/sleeping together. I recently found out that this girl is the same girl I raised. I haven't told her anything. In one hand I really like this girl and she likes me, but on the other hand I feel weird dating a girl I raised and even saw as my daughter who also called me dad and tried to adopt.
What should I do/ what would you do? How would you feel if you were the girl?
Most Helpful Girl
You absolutely have to tell her. She may be utterly sickened by the thought idea and she has that right to know and choose.
She may also not be and may be happy to continue then it is for you both to discuss and work out.
You have to tell her. Your lying hiding something and it's not right!1
Most Helpful Guy
The fact that you couldn't tell even a little bit that this girl could have been the little girl you raised is quite concerning. Sure, kids grow up and change. But they don't change to the point where you couldn't tell at all from when they were little. Unless she is a older grown woman (at least 45 or older), I find this story rather difficult to believe - at least in the sense that you couldn't tell it was her - even a little. If I had met someone like her where I raised her when she was young, I would've held off having sex - at least until I confirmed who she was (if I even had sex with her at all). Not to mention, your math seems a little off. You were 24 and she was 7 at one point, then you're 35 and she's 20?0