Would you date a woman with children?

Question

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

Date? Sure. Do? Sure.
Marry her and raise her kids? No.

Here's the problem with stepping...
1. You will never be the most important thing to this woman - her kid (s) will ALWAYS come first. So you're always number 4 or 5 rung on the ladder of importance. In my married family I was always #1. Always.
2. You will NEVER have any final say in anything. You will never have any authority over anything in her household.
3. No matter the effort or what you do for them will ever be truly appreciated by either, mother or children. Especially the child - you will always be a 'step'.
4. If you have more kids with her and later divorce you will be paying for the ones that were never yours.
5. Her children will always be in the way of your plans, they will always take priority.
6. If there's a bio dad around there will ALWAYS be drama in the household.
7. If she couldn't hold her marriage together in the first place what makes you think she'll be able to hold it together with you?

Woman are bailing out of perfectly good marriages at an alarming rate, and abandoning their husband and sometimes even their children simply because they're not HAAAAAAPPPPPPYYYYYY. It's a disgusting trend, all justified by the FI. Even their girlfriends and relatives will tell them they deserve to be HAAAAPPPPYYY. There is zero social stigma for this. If she bails the husband was an asshole. If he bails on her he's a complete asshole. At least wait 'till the kids are up and gone before you blow it up.

No, never raising someone else's crotch fruit.

Regneir · Accepted Answer

"Ok so here's the thing, might be a little harsh sounding but I DO NOT mean it to be like me putting you or anyone down.
Guys DO NOT dream of being a stepdad. Some don't even dream of being a dad in general.
Having dated a girl with 2 kids, was also in prep to spend the rest of my life with them. She turned around and decided to try things again with the ex-husband. Sucks quite a lot but to each his/her own. But understand you are no longer forming a relationship with a guy yourself, your kids are too. And if a guy fails to understand that as well he prolly isn't worth your time.
I miss those kids."

I get to copy paste this answer, to an identical previous question, every time I see this pop up.

MissPanda · Accepted Answer

I think it's a situational thing, I do understand why some men just don't want to though. For me I've always been in a good spot to date, I have a great family support system. I have 2 sisters and neither have kids so my little one is the only grandchild in the family. For me it's not hard finding someone to watch her because my family fights me to take her even when I have no plans or heck even when I have plans. Sometimes my mom just takes her and I have to hunt her down in the city and find her and snatch her back 😂 I have seen friends struggle with dating and not have any family or help whatsoever. Also baby daddy drama, I've never had that. Me and her father have been amicable since day 1, but I think it helped being that we weren't really in love. I was only 20 and I know this sounds stupid but my mom never taught me anything about sex, she only preached abstinence so I got pregnant right away with him. He's had new gfs and I've had new bfs and we've never had drama. I've dated a guy with a kid and his ex was a lot of drama, so I get when guys don't want a psycho ex to deal with because that strains a relationship. The only thing I worry about when dating is the point where he eventually meets my kid, how were all going to mesh together and if he's ok with doing "kid stuff". I'm a kid at heart so for me to go to the zoo or trampoline places I have fun and jump or play too.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's nice to see 66% of guys are open to the idea of dating a woman with children. It's understandable a younger guy (eg under 25) may feel overwhelmed by the idea of the instant family but wow guys who assume there will be drama with an ex, a woman with kids won't want more, or some idea that a guy wants to be your first. Once upon a time the same was said about virginity and now that practically no one is a virgin, men shift the focus to being baby free. And omg assumptions that children automatically mean a body that is somehow substandard to a woman with no kids - firstly women can gain weight and have stretch marks without having children. Secondly I feel sorry for your wives if you decide a woman is only attractive if she hasn't had children - are you going to love be her less? Personally, I would date a guy who had kids firstly because I get to evaluate what kind of father he would be first hand and I get to see how well balanced his children are, I get to see how he behaves under intense pressure and how he treats his ex - has he found an amicable way to deal with the most difficult person in his life, I know that he has learned to love and care for someone more than himself, and as for the instant family - well the more the merrier and really, when you marry someone you marry into their family so your partner is never completely yours.

Kiwedin · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't really care honestly, as I've never been attached to the idea of having my own kids. Adoption has always been my preference, so even if I met a man with his own children, that would work out just fine. I know I have a big enough heart to love another person's children as much as my own.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The issue usually seems to be the children not accepting the new boyfriend or the new witch stepmother.

Hal2002 · Answer

Dated and was married to a woman with a child from a previous relationship. Never again will I date a single mom with young kids, well unless maybe a sex buddy thing.

Single moms with young kids, just do not have the time to devote to you that they expect you to devote to them. As well as you will never be anywhere near the top of her priorities, and if baby daddy is lurking around prepare to take shit for things he has done.

Be prepared to be a bank account for her kid or kids, and the women that say that they don't need you to support their kid or kids are not being realistic. There is no way in hell, you can be in a relationship with a single mom and not contribute financially to her kid or kids.

Gonetowardthewind · Answer

I said yes, but it would have to Be when I'm like 40-45 haven't settled down yet, and she promise she that id have a say with how the child grows up, and we both love each other. Also if the kid doesn't like me by the time I'm ready to marry her, then I'd probably not ask since any strife with a persons child will Ben a grind on the relationship. Also I would want everything settled with the other guy as well. I don't want to be spending my nights at a civil court for unpaid children support or renegotiating custody every week for every month. I also don't want any grief with the biological father as well.

fashionguy17 · Answer

I suppose this is more of an age thing, but I'm 26... and I would never date a single mom.

My dad married my mom (who had a kid at age 18 with another man and age 20 with another guy). My dad never got along with my mom's children.

All my female cousins are single moms too, and they had kids starting at 18. All of their men are drug dealers, school dropouts, in jail, etc.

At my age... when I meet single moms that are in my age bracket, their baby daddy's are all losers. I'm not trying to act all high and mighty... but these guys are usually the bottom of the barrel.

I'm 26, college educated, have a career and becoming financially secure. Why would I want to date a woman who made a mistake with a bum?

I mean... if I were in my 30s and still single... maybe. But women make a lot of mistakes with men in their 20s... so I'm not going to raise a bum's kid.

jpmoore89 · Answer

Sure I would. I'm even just fine taking her child in and doing my best to be a father. Why not? If you love someone, you accept and love everything about them, gladly.

MarkRet · Answer

I'm out of the dating scene, but if I were a young single guy, yes I would. If that woman is special to me, and the magic's there, I'd be foolish to throw that away. As far as her kids, I certainly wouldn't ignore them, and if they wanted to try connecting with me, I'd try to be something positive in their lives.

Scooby225 · Answer

Hell no to the no no no to the no to the no no he'll to the no no no.
It's a trap!!!
On a serious note no I couldn't. Than you would become a step-parent. Step parents are well under appreciated. And no matter how much you try you'll be their father. And the child will always want to know about his "Real" dad. Most single mothers treat the guy differently than they would treat the actual father. A lot of step fathers tend to feel like an outsider in one way or another. There are high risks legally and financially, a lot to loose with very little to gain in comparision. There would always be a sense of your just a stand in/ substitute dad. Anyone else can be in you spot, you could be replaced.

MeGo99 · Answer

I don't know maybe not, hard choice since im young and dont want kids anytime soon, but i guess it turns some guys off because they want to be first and start there own family and knowing that you been with another guy sickens them, also when you date a women with children there ex will always be around and everything is just so much and another thing when a guy marry a women with kids he basically have a family given to him and he wants to experience it all himself like his wife giving birth for the first time, he wants everything from scratch , hope i answered your question and goodluck dont give up

ThisDudeHere · Answer

No I would not. Not until I have children of my own.

hahahmm · Answer

Not if:
*she not financially stable
*she is married to her kids (needs to be with them 99.99999% of the time)
*expects me to act like their dad the second I meet them
*says she never wants more kids yet she wants serious long term with me.
*she still has any feelings for the dad

BCRanger10 · Answer

I'd rather not, but if I really did like her, I wouldn't rule her out. I know that women sometimes make lifestyle changes, get divorced, or yes, even at younger ages, are widowed (war, crime, accidents, etc.). I would take into account how many and how old they are.

godfatherfan · Answer

after my divorce I had to decide what age of children I was willing to deal with. I have raised my kids and I am done with that stage. My youngest is 17 and I decided that any woman I date, if she has kids they have to be within 1 yr of my youngest. I won't do the baby thing ever again, that is why I had my vasectomy 17 years ago (a month before my youngest was born).

wrightontime · Answer

No way. I want to start my own family from stratch. I have problems with non Virgins wanting to date me. Having a kid makes the woman 10 times worse. Why date a woman with a kid when 90 percent of girls my age don't have kids?
I just want to finish college, get my job, make my money, and start my family. No ready made family shit.

geonator · Answer

I wouldn't be any less likely to date her. I wouldn't date her just because of that either, but it would be kinda cool. The kids would probably really like me if they didn't have a fatherly figure!

king_casanova · Answer

If she doesn't have unrealistic expectations and she is a nice person. Often, the older women I meet are living on fantasy island and think they are a lot more desirable than they actually are and play head games and are generally crazy when they have divorced.

Dalesmith · Answer

if you are talking about yourself and you are only 24 or younger then no i wouldn't date, if it was something like we know each other from childhood or school and i had a crush on you and all then maybe yes, i might be able to look past the kid.

so basically, no need to feel down about stuff like that you can do whatever you want and there are many guys who would like you for you and will be able to date you with the kid

rjroy3 · Answer

Only with the understanding that i'm not going to play daddy, we're not getting married and for the most part it's mostly sex. I'm not going to be the guy to take care of another man's kid. Not at this point in my life.

clampfan101 · Answer

Not gross, but no.
Well, maybe not "no" so much as "only as a last resort". I greatly want a woman who, like myself, is still virgin and willing to wait until we marry to have sex for the first time. (Mostly because I'm Christian, her being so as well be the only absolute must.) I want to us to be our first and only SOs in each other's lives.

Anonymous · Answer

No. A woman with kids would never be able to put getting to know each other as a top priority. That will always be her kids. So I am a ready entering into the relationship being second to someone else. On top of that I have no interest in wasting my time or resources on raising a child who isn't mine. Which would be what will happen if it goes past dating.

Phantomium · Answer

I can barely stomach the idea of having children of my own, but to raise someone else's kids? Not a fuckin' chance in hell. Sorry ladies, but no woman is worth all that trouble and drama.

Marinepilot · Answer

I can't date women with children for a number of reasons. Number one is
Baby daddy drama. It's none
of his business who his ex dates. Number two, I won't be
second best or choice to anything or anyone. And there
was never enough alone time. I
have dated women with kids before. Never again.

Jonestombrice · Answer

I usually avoid women with children because women sometimes don't have a body after they have a child. but I know a girl from high school whose always been cute even after.

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Nope. Been there, done that. Whenever I have dated them or tried dating them, you're always second. They're generally too busy to do anything and plans tend to get canceled because of issues of not having a babysitter.

Pinkbeauty · Answer

if I were to date a guy it wouldn't be a guy with kids or a guy who wants kids because I don't want kids because I don't have the tolerance for kids and I don't like kids

TripleAce · Answer

Date yes. stay with probably not Prefer not to deal with a father and prefer to start fresh

singlebee · Answer

I don't know... depends on the entire situation but I won't date her possibly... Maybe if she is super hot in this case and she has to be perfect

Anonymous · Answer

No. I prefer my women to have no baby weight

razor97 · Answer

think about the children, what are they going to think about this, "is my mom cheating my dad, or betraying/leaving us"

BobbyC65 · Answer

It depends if she would want to have another baby with her new boyfriend if they get marred.

characterJoe · Answer

Yes, because you know she is experienced in the "act" of creating children.

Westy616 · Answer

If I was older, I would consider it. However, being 24, I don't think that is really what I want. For me it's a turnoff, but later on in life, I wouldn't care near as much. That's just my position.

llorando · Answer

Yes I would, provided it's a case of 5 kids with each kid having a different father.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 26 with nearly a 3 year old. Never had any issues with dating or men not wanting to date me because I have a child.

NightOwl8801 · Answer

I would not have a problem dating a woman with kids.

Anonymous · Answer

only date 'em if we're gonna become fuck buddies friends with benefits lol

johnmichaei · Answer

really hard to date a woman that doesn't have children

Decentguy · Answer

Maybe. it depends on why she got divorced in the first place

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

No. I don't want to be seen as a potential father figure.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know if I can have children if my own, so yeah.

GoldFan1001 · Answer

Hell no so what you can pay for her and her bratty kid? Its a trap.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't date a man with children

Fantastique · Answer

Maybe too young for this right now but when I would not have the choice àt 50 Yo certainly

Anonymous · Answer

No. I don't mind kids. I'm worried that, unless the father has actually died, the mother is a Queen of Bad Decisions.

datgirl · Answer

I wouldn't date a guy with kids.

JohnB1 · Answer

Yes, I have a kid too and I know how she feels.

Nice_Guy_Last · Answer

Did, married her, adopting her son.

Red-Pill-Truth · Answer

Why would I play another mans saved game?

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, i would date a Single mother with children.

Lumberman53 · Answer

No because I don't want kids

TuMeManques · Answer

I would date a guy with 1 or 2 kids. Absolutely

blackspade · Answer

If things work well between us why not?

meatballs21 · Answer

No. Too much drama or potential for drama.

Dude_91 · Answer

Definitely not my first choice. So probably not.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Never.

jaydtre · Answer

Not at this point in my life.

scooogy · Answer

No, I couldn't live with that

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Not for me. I want my own family.

TheUsername27 · Answer

''Damaged goods''

Internetusername · Answer

I personally wouldn't.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm going to give you a short answer here: nope.

Anonymous · Answer

if they are out of the house yes.

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