A blunt, perhaps rude opinion, but definitely based in reality. Should be required reading for every person considering a divorce, every divorced person considering another marriage, and every person considering marrying a divorced person.
@Receoso Sorry. And thanks. :)BTDT got the tee-shirt. Then my oldest daughter went out and did it herself - married into an existing family and became a step. Fortunately it's working out well for the time being, and of course the hope it that it will 'till the kid is up and gone. My 3 turned out fine, 2 are from a previous, 1 from wife ver 2.0. Divorce from wife ver 1.0 cost right at half a million dollars.
Haven't read a more on point post. Girls can dislike this ALL they want but its 100% true. And having to pay for her kids prior divorce? That's a joke! Jesus christ. I have a friend who has a step dad who has raised him since he was 10 (now 20)... his mom was speaking to me and has said... she would never let the step dad tell her son off or tell him what to do because he isn't his dad...
@Receoso The truth is often a hard pill to swallow.Hence, the pink downvotes.
@Red-Pill-Truth, I agree the truth is often hard to accept. I am not concerned by the pink down votes. Sometimes when we write the truth in a neutral way, it is easier to accept and the world becomes a better place because of it.
@Browneye57, half a million, simply wow, that is indentured service, my condolences man.
@Receoso The first $250K was the down payment - splitting of assets. I was willing to walk away from a lot of it, bought her a house and put her and the kids in it, took all the debt - because I'm the one that wanted out. The another $200K in child support over 15 years. But I'm done. At one point she said, "You have no right to have another child", and "I don't give a shit if you have to live in a cardboard box". If you guys have ANY tangible assets and are planning to marry, make sure there's a pre-nup in place or you'll lose at least half of it. Another point the single moms can't seem to grasp is that they're likely to have to work, and they have to be both parents - no sharing of duties, so those kids of hers need her around - not off gallivanting around with some guy getting her jollies. When the kids are up and gone THEN maybe she'll have some time to date. What a disaster.
@Receoso - "Sometimes when we write the truth in a neutral way, it is easier to accept and the world becomes a better place because of it" - you can pussy-foot around and whitewash it all you want - doesn't change it. And they don't want to hear it anyway. Yes, women have declared war on the men.
So true, it makes me smile though at all the single and divorced moms that will swear on a stack of bibles. That they do not need, and are not looking for you to support their kids.
@Hal2002 My ass !
I'm so sorry to hear that! It's weird; because I personally wouldn't bring a man into my life. I'm a very anxious person. And the lives of my children and their safety is far more important than a relationship. I've never had the desire of a partner; just curious. I'm not single either. Happily married. (Yes, father of my kids) But I see so many horrible posts to women about their looks etc; as though the mans mothers didn't go through it too. I personally wouldn't EVER date a man with children. So fair is fair. Haha
Too each their own, I personally was the same way. wouldn't do it. But she became my best friend after like 8 months... who doesn't want their SO to be that? Kinda just happened, never wanted kids in any respect but after a few days hanging out with them and her I guess made that evaporate. Things ya never expect. But on to a womans body about it, she's in control of it for the most part. Its hard work but its something attainable as far as losing the I had a baby look or whatever it is people are so concerned with. She was 5'5 230 Before her kids, they changed her a lot and she lost 90lbs after the second pregnancy. Its a choice as far as Im concerned how a woman decides to treat their body after such an event. Im in not way disregarding the damage and strain that it causes to it, and the fact it makes things much harder to accomplish... but it can be done.
Very thoughtful and well said. Kudos to you mom. I really respect a good hearted woman who is mature enough to be a mom. It shows that you are loving and actually care for someone other than yourself. A guy would be very fortunate to find a single mother and fall in love. Someone who is also willing to be a father and love your child.
If I got along well with the mom and her kid/kids then I would think nothing less of our relationship. I am curious though as I am unable to imagine. I believe I would get an intense feeling that she is taken and unable to love me. But maybe that's wrong. Anyway if it comes to it and I feel that she loves me and nobody else I'm all in.
@Vitdom point and case is very little men and women want to be in a serious relationship with a single parent. If you don't like that uses protection during sex
@Vitdom it is true that children will take up some of her time but then if you were to have kids of your own with someone, that would also be the case. A woman can love her man whether she has kids or not - the kids usually don't make her love him less. Typically children do introduce limitations but also bring a whole lot of positives as well.
@Scooby225 while some people may have become a single parent due to an accidental pregnancy, some may have been previously married and either divorced or widowed. It's not just a case of "serves you right for not using protection during sex". And also, protection can fail.
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I would never expect a man to pay for my children. I earn my own money! My husband ( biological dad ) does things financially. And even that stresses me out. He knows I don't want him paying for everything. So if I'm like that with a man I've been with for 11 years; and is the biological dad to my children, imagine a man that isn't the dad? No way!
Experiences like this other men have had is the major reason I won't.
You are fucking nuts.It stresses you out, that your husband and the biological father of your children financially supports his own kids.You earn your own money, good for you.You are a rear woman, because I don't know any guy that has dated or had a relationship with a single mom that has not financially had to help with the kids.But I am sure not to many women, believe the cock and bull story you are trying to sell either. As a lot of women have found out after a divorce, that pay check they got when someone else was helping with the bills that seems so great. Is not so great or goes as far, when she has the pay the bills on her own.
Hal2002 I am anti-feminist. Like I literally protest against it. I can't fucking stand women who expect a man to be their financial foundation. Make your own way in life! Stop being so fuck dependant on people. Work your own arse off! Make your own money. Maybe that's why my husband does so much for me, because I respect him enough to not expect everything GIVEN to me on a golden platter! Not my problem you've had bad experiences. There are actually women in this world with some self respect! Yes! I expect my husband to look after and love his children. But if I'm not putting in my half of the parenting role too, I'm not happy! What story am I trying to sell hun? Is it hard to believe that I don't need a man in my life? I'm happy I have one; but I don't need one. It's just a bonus.
Edit:its not about having a good heart, just because a guy doesn't want to date a woman with a kid doesn't mean he cold hearted he just dont want to go through all of that stress
You seem very mature mentally for a 19 yr. old.
@Sweetiecristina why? Are 19 year olds not supposed to be mature?
Are you a single mom?
To the @asker, why ask for men's opinions and then berate the men that give their opinion? Did you want opinions or did you want a fight?
@Receoso Good question. Well done.
I just want to make an addendum here. I see so many saying they wouldn't date a girl with kids and some even saying "gross" or "eww." This is sad. Try to understand those children for a moment. Their dad is already somewhat gone or fully down the road. He ether does not want to be a dad or he is trying his best to be a good dad and the children miss him. Those kids need love and compassion from a man who will ether take them in and be a dad or who will have their dad's back and fill in where he needs the help. This is a selfless thing to do. Its about making these children as stable and comfortable as possible. This is not about pushing them aside so the mother can be the new little squeeze. Kids in an unstable environment like that grow up miserable, unloved, and end up not contributing to society. They need a father figure who truly loves them. Thats difficult with them being from another guy but we can be better than that. Another guy or not, we can be compassionate and loving.
MarkRet-Are you sure about that? I know that I can't or wouldn't do it.
You are so right ! Well stated.
You're so right in ways you never imagined.
So, after you had children of your own you would?
Assuming I was divorced, yes.
I think you got it legally right. off course there no issue with that
Haha! Yeah. Well, I guess it's fair as I would never date a guy with kids.
This is so cute lol.
Oh really?Chad Thundercock gets to have all the fun, and I'm stuck with the bill?Thanks, but no thanks.If she had any worth as a potential wife/mother, she wouldn't be a single mom in the first place.
What if the father died?
so you can get a higher score, and faster, starting a new game and making progress will take too much
@Sweetiecristina That would be the only exception.But let's face it... this is rarely the case.Most single moms became single moms by choice (or a series of choices), rather than accident.It has nothing to do with the kids, but everything to do with the woman, and how she ended up where she is.And if not anything else, a chronical tendency to make shitty decisions.
A good friend of mine had 2 children to her partner. They were great together until the second child. The man started becoming obsessed and jealous of the children; so he started bashing my friend on a daily basis. The day she left was the day he threw her down the stairs with the baby attached to her in a carrier. So no! I don't think the only exception should be if a man died. I wouldn't stay in an abusive relationship either!
I agree, she shouldn't.But that doesn't oblige me to date her.She should have picked a better man from the beginning.
Wow. Lol. Well maybe if you 'men' wouldn't change into psychotic crazies than we could pick a good one. Lol
We don't set the criteria from which women pick out male partners.Women do.And they're pretty consistent criteria, regardless of which woman.Women have a collective disease for seeking out the worst possible men, and steamrolling the good men.YOU pick your partners.YOUR right, YOUR choice, YOUR responsibility.And every choice in life, no matter how big or how small, has consequences.Choose wisely.
I agree! I just love how men have this crazy belief that a woman is their prize or their property. Like you wouldn't date a woman with kids, but if you had kids and became single; I bet your bottom dollar that you'd expect to find a relationship then. Your right, right? But hey! It's the mans fault for being single. His right, his choice, his responsibility. 🙂 In saying this! I don't believe that men should EVER feel morally obligated to date a woman with children. Ever.
Prize?I think you value yourself too highly.Another pretty common disease.
Prized possession * lol. I value MYSELF too highly? 😂😂😂 A reflection of yourself.
Whatever.I'm not here for the kicks of entering flame-wars with kids.
Who cares. You're what, 44? I don't think you'll be missed. Adios.
Agree. But after making a new life and bringing it into this world, I personally don't think men have any right to judge our body. Men can be fat, or have unattractive bodies because they're just fat and unattractive; whereas mothers actually have a reason to have that body. I agree we must look after ourselves and eat healthily. But things like stretch marks etc; things we can't physical stop, a man that said we're unattractive because we went through what your own mother did are not men. Now! I'm not saying you have to feel guilty and date them. But to think lesser of them because they had kids? Doesn't sit well with me. I'd probably be the one avoiding you.
Most men do think lesser of prospective partners when theyhave kids and have gained weight and have stretch marks.Simply because we didn't help make that child. And we're not wrong to feel that way. I understand you not liking this, although you won't change very many men's opinions about this. Fact of life.
I see your point marinepilot, and I totally agree. But if you read some other answers on other questions, men are so degrading it's disgusting. I really don't care to be honest. As anyone that knows me, knows I am more than happy to stay single. I don't ever see myself bringing a new man around my children. But to call women disgusting, vile names etc: is just inappropriate and shows how much of a man they are NOT! If you wouldn't say it to your mother. Or think it about your mother. Why say it to others?
Most men would like a woman who's in shape. just like a woman would want a man who's in shape. All it means is that to get more attention you'd just have to critique yourself. That's my only thing with women with a child.
I agree! Everyone should look after themselves. I mean; I have 3, and my youngest is 10 months. I'm already down 30 kilograms. BUT! I still have stretchmarks, and all those other things that come along with bringing new life into this world. And my husband stood next to me through thick and thin (Pun not intended.) I hope that when you find a woman and have babies; you respect her enough to not sound so cruel. I would truly hate to be with any man that wants to use his dick, have kids, and then treat me like shit. Sometimes I wish we could swap roles and you can all see how horrible you sound.
Bitter much? Face it, you're damaged and used goods and that'show most men view you. Nobody made you have that kid, There arelegal alternatives. Welcome to the real world of single mom dating. Have fun.
@Marinepilot - Well there, someone that gets it. I was gonna say..."Agree. But after making a new life and bringing it into this world, I personally don't think men have any right to judge our body."WTF does a 'new life' have to do with judging your body? If it's whooped out then YOU didn't take care of it and men are gonna judge regardless - it's call discernment. You're either HELL YES or HELL NO. Having a child doesn't ruin a womans body. Just so much bullshit.
Queen of Bad Decisions - that's harsh.
Nice thigh gap! 😮
@characterJoe yeah you could jam it up her with her legs together
Lol. I never thought of it like that. I bet she is really flexible though! 😉
@characterJoe nothing better than a woman who's in shape.
s2.postimg.org/yuudnih7d/FB_IMG_1495722732636.jpgHere's my friend who's had 4 kids. So screw your "mom's can't be in shape" theory
Yeah because every woman that's had a kid has baby fat. lol it's called proper eating during pregnancy and getting back to the gym and not making excuses.
@WriterAndPainter that woman is like a man. She isn't soft in the places men like a woman to be soft. Also check out those thunder thighs is she hulk hogan?
I have plenty of crazy skinny friends that have multiple kids too. Although your style seems more like 15 year old girls smh
@TuMeManques or skinny attractive women with intact vaginas and no stretch marks
women hav no hert ;(
You're 16. Quiet.
No if I was 16 I would be very primitive computer.
You can't even spell.
L-i-v-e. See, I spelled it correctly. How about you spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?
Go to bed.
You're not my mother! Don't tell me what to do!
WELL CLEARLY YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T SUPERVISE POOR LITTLE RAZOR ENOUGH ON SOCIAL MEDIA! So hunny! I will be your mother tonight. Go to bed and stop talking to strangers; you have school on Monday!
I'm just sitting in my garden listening to my neighbor cutting his lawn
come on moom, i wanted to have some fun :((
I could care less what a single mothers kids think. Not my circus. Not my monkey.
You're 65. Highly doubt you'd need to worry. lol
@Marinepilot It has been great. But. I think I will be going now *backing away*.
mom Because my intelligence exceeds what you can only dream of
Yeah but they may just see you as short term company/fun. That's the only thing. I don't know your relationships of course but at the same time you don't know what's in their heads.
Good and good. I'm glad you are open minded and also finding men who are also open minded. Hopefully enough that they respect your child and are loving as your child deserves.
@TheUsername27 men are upfront. I'm sure I'm sure if they didn't desire long term they would make that known upfront. The men I've dated dont mind being a father figure and talk long term relationship goals together. That's just the men on here. It's honestly not that difficult. Plenty of men don't mind
Men on here are also quite sleezy and just hanging to bust a nut. 😂😂😂😂
I guess it depends on a mans age. There are men in their 30's who are thinking oh shit i don't want to leave it late. All i know is men from 20-25 would likely be all perfect seeming to have sex. Men on here get talk in a anon environment. I wouldn't say half the shit I say on here in person because i don't want to lose my job etc. I don't say anything crazy don't get me wrong but if i said ''No i wouldn't date clare she is damaged goods''... good bye professional job and hello the Nation feminist prosecution society.
@TheUsername27 the age range is 21-30. I appreciate your comment however I've been on here long enough to not take anything these bitter men say on here seriously. Real life doesn't work that way 😂
It does and it doesn't. There are a lot of bitchy. bitter women on here as well. This site attracts the worst kinds on the male and female side. Men in real life do use women for sex... there is no denying that. Men can come across as nice and loving to get what they want.. as can women.
@TheUsername27 been there, did that. I've used men for sex as well. The opinions on this site is a joke. After 5 years of being a member, people come and go but the mindsets are the same. Plenty of people are used for sex as childless, just like plenty of people are in long term relationships with people who have children. Can go either way. Anyhoo I'm done here.
At some point you will encounter men who won't date single mothers. Be prepared.I assure you, most really good men are that way, Furthermore, what man in his rightmind is going to play second best to a child who isn't his? Damn few if any.
The thing is the ''mothers'' assume that good men will accept them and their child. Wrong. Unless the guy is in his 40-50's and wants a family to settle down with he likely won't date a single mum. That doesn't make him a bad guy what so ever. I mean we all carry baggage and of course @OP carries a crate of it. If you're a successful, good looking, nice man you won't settle for a desperate single mum who probably lacks education.
@TheUsername27 You're so very right.
You're just a booty call to most sensible men. Fact of life.
You are a good and honorable woman
Still doesn't answer the OP's question. She asked would you date a woman with children, not would you date a guy with children.
@llorando I would, yes.
@llorando hahaha to that I'd say no 😂
Why, because you only date women without children :P?
@llorando naturally lol
@jpmoore89 well thank you 😘