Why are hot guys jerks and nice guys unattractive?

[sundressgal]

So I really like nice guys. A guy could be the hottest man in the world but if he's a jerk I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. I really honestly prefer nice guys. I think more girls should prefer nice guys! BUT I also want someone I actually find attractive!

But, and I feel bad saying this, every guy who I consider "nice" also happens to not be attractive. Like just not good looking to me. I don't need a model or 6 pack here, but someone who's at least a tad attractive, or at least attractive to me. And though personality definitely matters, I want someone who also makes me feel attracted to them. But it's like you have to choose, nice or attractive! I've never seen both and it's getting me kind of frustrated.

Is it literally always like that? Is there no hope for me to find a nice guy who I also happen to find attractive?

Also please don't rip on me for this. I'm seriously not trying to be rude, just asking a totally blunt question that's been on my mind, hopefully in a judgement free zone.

[Anonymous]

I think your profile is fake and you're a guy. Men are not nice, none of them are. They are not all mean either but their dicks and desires gets in the way of being decent towards especially a cute girl. The nicest and shyest men I've met are handsome, biggest assholes and phonies are ugly. The worse things that came my way from men are from ugly broke men I gave a chance, you're full of it. And I live in a third world country filled with assholes as it is acceptable, so how comes the handsome ones are nicer. One handsome guy was rude to me, then called my phone and apologized, I wasn't even his girl nor did I care about what happened hours ago. Ugly men rag on you to get points with people, and to make himself feel good.

[CommieDoggo]

What?

[uglyfuglybrownie]

u live in india dont you?

[sundressgal]

Wow that escalated quickly lol PS, how does asking this question make my profile fake? lol

[BrittBratt2416]

I see what your saying but hey just see where things go with the nice/unattractive guy. Once you get to know them they might become attractive perhaps? If there's still no attraction then just keep searching.

[IHaveLists]

That's what it's like in high school. Once they are out of high school, hot guys are usually the nicer ones and ugly guys are the jerks.

[sundressgal]

I thought it would be that way too, but I've been graduated 4 years and its still the case for me haha

[Sagul]

That's not always the case, but many guys will say the same about girls. It's often an issue of expectations, group pressure and self-limiting. If you think you're unattractive (whatever other people think) you might get stuck in those thoughts, especially if they are reinforced by others, and then you don't try to become more attractive — you think that you could never be attractive. Society pushes a lot of values onto people saying that sexy is good and valuable, so people who know they are can easily get cocky and act like "I'm too good" or "I'm not going to sell myself short" and so on. Catch my point?

[Cuteguy135]

I would try to answer it but this video really shows everything.

https://youtu.be/QJ907Aa7TYE

[Cuteguy135]

It's also under 3 min so well worth anyone's time :)

[sundressgal]

This is actually pretty cool! Thanks for sharing :)

[Cuteguy135]

You're welcome 😊

[CoolSky01]

Kinda makes sense, hot people are always noticed most by everyone around them, so if half of the hot people are jerks then you think a lot of them are even though you dont know all of them.

plus being attractive and not showing interest in someone who shows interest in you is enough to be called an asshole, really all it takes is a willing guy/girl who show interest in you but you dont show interest back so they label you as a jerk with sky high standards.

[Zyares]

I suppose that you just choose to be with the wrong guys. In average, you might be right with what you have said but there also are a lot of attractive AND nice guys. Then again, there is that "friend zone" cliché about them. I can't tell what kind of girl you are because I don't.. yet, I believe that you either chose wrong until now or are just unlucky 😅

[CoolSky01]

Actually its not true, pleny of attractive guys who are really nice and cool
iam not here to brag iam a guy like that , no matter the amount of compliments and looks i get from women iam always nice, i hate to hurt anyone's feelings, i never lead women on or lie to them, i could probably have sex easily if i lied to some women here an there but i refuse to play that game and hurt women for some sex.

[JohnDoe3000]

It's true that handsome men are more likely to become jerks (they're spoiled with attention, never learn to be humble, and know they can get away with more shit), as other people have pointed out. But I find it hard to believe you never meet any nice men who are handsome, though of course, being nice and handsome they'd most likely be taken already. Maybe there's a certain type of man you find handsome who are more likely to be jerks, like frat boy/douchebro jocks or slick future Gordon Geckos?

[JohnDoe3000]

by the way, it's a thing with women too: the smart ones tend to be less pretty and the exceptions are almost always in a serious relationship. But smart pretty women definitely do exist, just like handsome nice men, if you find one who's single you better be bringing a lot to the table because both groups have high standards.

[isolduin]

An handsome guy is generally vitiated because of his past relationships, so he thinks he can afford any girl anytime just as he wants, so he becomes a jerk.
On the other side a guy whos not 100% attractive knows that he hasn't opportunities everyday so he's more careful on how he behaves. So my personal thoughts are that its easy girlss fault.
I think that out there there are nice guys which are good looking too, just don't loose hope! good luck

[asp123]

said perfectly my dude

[isolduin]

Ty man

[sundressgal]

Good advice, thank you!

[NerdInDenial]

Most women are attracted to the bad boy image. What are bad boys? They are rebels; rebels, generally, are not very nice. More importantly, women want to change them; these jerks are a challenge while nice guys are boring. Unattractive guys are nice because that's their tactic to get into women's pants. Even though it doesn't work often, it's the only tactic they have. Ultimately, power, fame, and money provides the best odds to get women.

[Sam19XX]

Yeah mate , gotta keep trying till you find that one guy who has a good balance of both (looks and attitude).
Now if you really want to know why that happens , here is a likely reason :
Hot guys are usually used to getting what they want (from girls to popularity). They may also want to show off. Also , their ego tends to be very fragile. Touch it and it breaks into pieces.

[redxiii74]

you can't have your cake and eat it too keep in mind at the age of 21 you'll either have to pick hot or nice or eventually you'll get beer goggles and one of the nice ones begins to look attractive. but to say all girls should like nice guys hey don't ruin it for the rest of us hot jerks lol ;)

[KingM0j0]

I honestly know what you mean I feel like most attractive females have no personalities but the ugly ones have such a beautiful personality its weird I guess when you look good you dont need to show who you really are because people tend to only care about the outside

[Sluthater]

Maybe they are attractive and you don't realize it. For some reason, a man acting indifferent and cocky is a magnet to women. Even when he is just average looking he somehow becomes attractive in her eyes.

[asp123]

usually the nicer guys aren't as attractive that's why they tend to be nicer than the hot guys, they know they can't compete with the hot guys on looks, so they focus on other things

[cetanu]

I know it may not seem like it, but these things aren't always true in all circumstances. Sometimes people even become more attractive the more you get to know them, so maybe you could start chatting to guys of a decent attraction to see if a spark lights up along the way.

[jathin]

Well good looking guys know that there are other girls out there for them to get into relationships while the not so blessed guys know that not many girls out there would be in relationships with them and so they cherish the partner with whom they are in a relationship.

[jathin]

but there are exceptions also

[jathin]

in case of good guys

[Nik1hil]

Hot guys realize that girls are easy for then so they juggle and are called jerks
While unattractive guys know that this girl could be their last,
So they give all they got

[Anonymous]

Unattractive guys have to work on their personality to get notice, making them the nice guys whereas hot guys get what the attention they want so they don't need to be nice and girls are still going to notice their good looks.

[ilovesexyfeet]

Keep searching, I'm sure you'll find the one for you and I'm certain that not all guys are like this.

[ain22]

Maybe it's because you haven't met me yet haha. I'm not skilled at all when it comes to flirting, so maybe you just need to approach more guys instead of waiting for one of those guys who happen to be jerks approach you.

[Whatthefluff]

Hot guys know they're hot and therefore have big egos.

[NormaTavish]

Agreed. you hit the nail on the head.

[Whatthefluff]

Thank you

[Deadpool76992]

The same applies to a lot of women. It's because Hot people can usually get by purely on looks, so they don't need to be nice, unattractive people have to actually be nice, and kind, and not a dick,.

[Seppelson]

attraktive guys are getting all the girls they want if they are unfriendly or not so they don't have to care about it. It's like pretty girls behavior in bed. they are doing nothing because they know the guy will do everything

[Anonymous]

i am a jerk AND unattractive AF. I used to be a nice guy but then girls made it too clear to me that i was unattractive so i decided to become a jerk and these days i dream about disfiguring girls faces so i can make them unattractive too.