boyfriend likes sexy photos of girls' he follows and it makes me feel insecure?

[Calixx]

The girls he follows are ordinary girls he grew up with, or girls he dated/liked. They post sexy photos of them in bikinis, or in tight clothing and he likes them. I feel insecure and disrespected.

[Kabsklwbsv]

- if you post pics similar to these girls or any sexual pic and guys comment and like it.. This whole issue falls flat.. I hope you are aware of that.
- Its wrong if it's girls he's dated.. If it's his female friends then it's fine
- if its strangers and celebs also fine
- if he says he wants to fuck them it's wrong
- if you are trying to police him that's wrong.. he's like that and will always be I know these dudes so it's your move whether you adapt or leave
- you should unfollow your boyfriend I've done it its best not knowing trust me.
- In this generation 90% of dudes will do this and 90% of girls like you post these picks so the cycle continues.. It's just a part of the times we live in

[Calixx]

No. It doesn't fall flat. I don't post photos like that... mine are not at all revealing or suggestive. He shouldn't be liking them. If he is, then he clearly doesn't need photos like that of my body. He can get off to these other girls.

[Z-Spark]

i believe what he's saying is that if you have guys flirting with you and complimenting you on your photos then you have no right to tell you boyfriend what or who's picture to like, one for one

[Calixx]

The difference is, it's not in my control on who comments/likes my photos. That's different. My boyfriend is disrespecting me. I am not disrespecting him by getting those comments/likes.

[Calixx]

That literally makes zero sense, and he has no right to h mad at me, or use that to justify his actions. My boyfriend also gets likes and comments from other girls. I don't get mad at him.

[Z-Spark]

You can't justify it by saying " i can't control who posts on my pics" of course you can no one would be posting if they didn't know a 100% that you're cool with it, my friends gfs had a guy comment on her posts, my friend didn't like it her told her, she messaged the guy telling him she has a boyfriend and he should comment these stuff on her pics, its very controlable, not all guys are ready to see dozens of other guys hitting on their girl like that , when you stop doing that he should stop doing his thing if one of you doesn't stop they the other gets to not stop as well its simple

[Calixx]

Okay, I feel that's extremely unreasonable. But, I cannot stop every guy. Some wouldn't even listen, and sometimes it's different guys. Or, it's past comments.

[Calixx]

These are two unrelated issues. I do hope you understand that.

[Calixx]

I cannot control other people. Only myself. Same applies for my boyfriend. Why like these sexy photos of girls who are easily accessible, and not put his time and effort into the woman he claims to love?
I don't like sexy photos of guys... I barely follow and guys.

[Calixx]

Any *

[Z-Spark]

as i said i understand that to you they sound different and while you say you can control who comments on your pics he can control what he likes, but as the dude said if she's a celeb/someone really famous its kinda useless to be upset about ti cause he won't even dream of getting her in a million years so he's just liking the pic for shits and giggles, if he's liking pics of girls he knows in real life but you dont like it... well all i have to say is stop liking guys pics and letting guys comment on your pics and that will fix your problem but as you probably figured already that is easier said than done.

[Z-Spark]

can't *

[Calixx]

I don't care for celebrities. I care got girls he knows, or who are easily accessible. That makes me feel disrespected when he likes a sexy photo of them. He doesn't need to see that girl in that state, and even if he does, he can admire without looking. I already said. I DON'T LIKE PHOTOS OF GUYS!! If I do, it's NEVER SEXY/SHIRTLESS!

[Z-Spark]

depends if she's really close like he sees her daily then its kinda hard to not like her pics but if she's someone who he rrarely meets and not friends with then he should be able to not like these pics

[Calixx]

Lol, but if the photo is suggestive, or provocative, there's no need for him to like it if she's someone he knows personally (or has had a crush on) WHILE dating someone else.

[Z-Spark]

guys like pics for shits and giggles really, if they see a car with a hot girl they like it, if they see a party with girls they like it, usually it means literally nothing to them its just a like, girls like things that spark and emotional reaction in them so i understand why you feel that way, if it bothers you a lot then tell him as clearly as possible that while you have no problem with him liking girls photos you find it disrespectful when he likes nude girls on facebook and when he comes across such pics to not like it.

[Kabsklwbsv]

The real question is why does a like bother you so much.. Also you say you can't control what those guys say but you can simply block or unfollow which you may think is extreme but thats exactly the issue here everything is subjective to him this is nothing to you it is. You can't change what people believe really you either accept or u dont

[Kabsklwbsv]

Plus I'm sure your boyfriend isn't an idiot of he wanted to act on these accessible chicks all he would have to do is dm them and you'd never know. The fact that it's right in front of you shows he has innocent intentions.

[Xcommunicated]

Insecure and crazy are not helpful for ltr

That said maybe ask him if there's something more he needs that you're not providing? Something like I'm not trying to be jealous but I want to meet all your needs and in return I want you focused on us. I'm concerned we both are in this together... keep it positive and reassuring not cray cray

1. The male ego is fragile
2. Relationships take work and lots of sacrifice. That said when my girl does what I just said and gives me great sex. I'll do anything and overlook just about anything for her.

[Calixx]

Maybe I wouldn't feel insecure if he actually took the time to make me feel special and not these online girls.

[Calixx]

He's also just disrespectful. I give him a lot. He already knows this.

Men are just horn dogs who don't know how to care for and love their women properly.

[Xcommunicated]

Sorry you haven't found the right one yet. Not all are the same. I'm sorry you've been hurt. What I described is one of the best ways (at least for us) to keep our marriage going.

Love is taking a stranger and making them part of yourself. It's hard and sacrificial and not fair most of the time. Make positive decisions let go of bad and focus on good and eventually as you are doing right you'll find someone just like that.

Good luck and I feel for you.

[BarbaraP]

I think you're very insecure. You should work on that and understand if it's actually your boyfriend's fault or not. I don't think you would be asking this question if he liked these girls' pics, but made you feel loved and appreciated as his girlfriend and his only love interest. Maybe the problem isn't how he behaves with other girls, but how he makes you feel when it's just you and him.

[Calixx]

Yes. I agree. I feel he doesn't give me the love and appreciation I desire. He shows me he cares in other ways, but those are the ways that speak to me. I have communicated this with him, especially in the beginning. I told him words of affirmation and physical touch make me feel special and loved.
However, it seems only when I get upset and mention to him how him liking the photos makes me feel extremely insecure and insufficient (because why does he need to see my body, if he's liking and approving of these other girls' bodies?). However, it is only when he fears he is going to lose me during an argument, that he starts to tell me all the things he likes and appreciates about me.

[BarbaraP]

Has he ever given you any reasons to doubt how attractive you are to him? Does he judge how you look, joke about the things you're insecure about? Are you generally "his type"?
If yes, than I understand how that could be a problem.
If no, maybe he's just the type of guy who doesn't give out compliments too easily.

[shyblonde]

If my boyfriend did that he probably wouldn't be my boyfriend for very long. I don't care if he looks at their pictures but at least don't like them. So yeah I would most likely end up dumping him if he wouldn't stop. How would he feel if you liked pics of hot guys? If a guy won't respect me then I don't need him.

[Calixx]

I try and turn it on him, and he says he wouldn't care. He doesn't think liking a picture of a girls butt, or her in a sexy position with her boobs out, is the same as me liking a photo with a guy's dick print in his sweatpants. But, it technically is!
He tells me I am being jealous for no reason, but, it hurts to know he likes photos of these girls who are sexier and prettier than me.

[shyblonde]

Yeah he doesn't sound like a good catch to me :/

[BrittBratt2416]

Woah not okay to be liking overly sexy photos of past girlfriends and crushes. He's obviously still pining over them, which is not good. You need to express to him how that makes you feel, if it was normal photos of them just smiling then i wouldn't raise an eyebrow to it.

[Genie23]

i think you should tell him how you feel. If he really cares about you, and respects your feelings.. he would understand

[MarkGerrits]

if it's an ex then yh I agree. if it's just a friend or somebody he knows. then you got nothing to worry about. it's like a form of respect towards the person on the picture. I would be more concerned if he wrote something beneath the picture. like "hot" or "sexy" for example.

best thing you can do is to have a chat with him. but I think you've already done that.

he's respecting others but disrespecting you. at least that's how you feel it is. I'd have him at least stop his connection to his ex. that's a taboo in my personal books. as for the rest it's up to you I guess.

try and work on that jealousy. put boundaries up for you both. he can like something but not comment for example. he can like others but not his ex. stuff like that.

in the end it's all about communication.

[GingerGuy]

Honestly, you have to try and disassociate yourself from it. Guys are visual and it's strictly visual entertainment. He's not comparing you or anything like that, also doesn't mean he doesn't like/love you.

Having said that, you should absolutely let him know how you feel about it (nicely) and HOW it makes you feel so he knows this. He absolutely can make the effort for your feelings/comfort if he truly cares for you and respects you.

[Alphawolf44]

Sit him down, and just explain that to him. Talking things through with a good communication can be very important in a relationship. Most likely there is nothing for you to worry about, but if it really bothers you then talking is the thing to do.

[KC203]

You shouldn't feel that way it's normal for guys to do that
Every guy doesn't it does not affect his feelings for you
And guys don't mean anything by it

It's totally Normal and Meaningless

[Charlotte0204]

Hey :) I never though I'd find someone going through the same issue. Ignore the guys on here they all seem to have the same excuse? Wanna talk privately?

[litty]

He's stuck in the past. Proper loving and communication can come more easily when people live in the moment and forget about all baggage/past attachments. Hopefully the next person you find understands that

[Autumn_Uppercut]

If its random pics if women, fine. If its women he knows I think you should break up. Ask him how would he feel if you were liking shirtless pics of guys you know. Or maybe just dobt, just leave his ass lol

[Robsinsf53]

You're being disrespected and he makes sure you feel insecure. But you know, you're allowing him to do this. Tell him you want him to show you a little respect. See what he says Or dump him.

[Calixx]

He tells me I am reaching for something that isn't there. I tell him it makes me feel insecure to see him like these photos.

[Robsinsf53]

If it isn't there, why the fuck do I see them? That's my response!

[JayFlecta]

Why? i bet if a guy posted a pic of his abs you'd take a double peek at his post. It's just a guy being a guy. Booty is booty no matter how much clout it got.

[Calixx]

If the girl is skinner or prettier than me, it makes me feel I am not enough. I feel good about myself until it pops up on my feed that he liked another sexy photo of a girl...

[Calixx]

I also refrain from liking sexy photos of that like guys :/ and also don't have that on my feed lol

[JayFlecta]

Realize that the nigga choose you to be his girl. If he wanted the other girls he wouldn't have you as his.

[Calixx]

But why does he feel is respectful to let these ordinary girls know he finds them sexy?

[JayFlecta]

All you said in your post was that he likes the pictures. But, its considered a compliment. I'm sure if somebody attractive called you sexy you wouldn't feel disrespected at all.

[Calixx]

Yes... but I wouldn't let someone know I find them sexy if I'm in a relationship...

[JayFlecta]

He liked the picture. What they get from that is what they get from that. He didn't explicitly say "girl yous fucking sexy". At least your post doesn't say he did.

[TripleAce]

Ouuuweeee. The power of the social media

Back in the day this was one less 'problem' to worry about

Anywhooo - did you tell your boyfriend all this yet?

[Unit1]

I fully agree

[thatgirl16]

Talk to him about it tell how you feel if it continues break it off he's not worth your time

[rachetrachel]

completely disrespectful. it's basically him letting the girls know that he's interested still

[Calixx]

He doesn't get it, at all. He makes me feel like an idiot for getting upset over his behavior.

[rachetrachel]

that's called manipulation. don't tolerate it. he should only have eyes for u.

[momo770]

it makes you feel insecure, he's not doing anything wrong. Neither are the women.

[Calixx]

I'm not blaming the women. I'm blaming my boyfriend for liking their photos and sending them the message that he thinks they're hot, and would probably bang them if given the chance.

[momo770]

okay, I didn't know he was commenting like that. Talk to him and if he doesn't change then ditch him.

[BarbaraP]

He doesn't actually comment on their pics or send them messages. She just thinks that liking someone's picture means you'd bang them.

[momo770]

oh, I completely disagree. Thank you for explaining

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Well, would you be attracted to him if you had his undivided attention? Sorry, that's shitty of him, but that's the way it goes.

[Calixx]

I feel this wouldn't be an issue if he made me feel more secure. He rarely compliments me and I don't always feel close to him.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Yeah, he sounds great *sarcasm*
Do you want me to be brutally honest, or will, "he'll learn to appreciate you one way or another," suffice?

[Calixx]

I just don't think he knows how to show love in the way I need it...
He does things for me, and he doesn't cheat. But, I've expressed my needs to him a lot...

[WhistleForTheChoir]

If he did show you love exactly the way you wanted, I bet you'd think he was pathetic. A lot of women appreciate men who inattentive and distant. It's kind of Freudian, but it reminds one of their father.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

subconsciously of course. This isn't my brutal honesty by the way

[Calixx]

Maybe. Anyways. He doesn't leave me feeling secure.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Yeah, I don't him, but I bet he doesn't care.

[Calixx]

I feel he clearly doesn't. He's fine with giving these online girls attention, but not me. I sent him a screenshot of the photo he liked. He then sent me a screenshot of a photo my friend took and posted of me. I will admit, it's a little sexy. But I'm not wearing anything revealing, etc. He told me "I liked that girls photo to support her. Like 'congrats on you for having confidence'. But, he didn't like mine? No congrats on me for having confidence and posting a photo out of character. He then went on to mention how I get a lot of likes/comments from guys and he doesn't say anything about it. Like it would make sense to mention it? That's not my actions, that's those guys' actions.

[Calixx]

He just makes things up. He's probably the truly insecure one, and therefore, does his best to make me feel insecure.

[WhistleForTheChoir]

Yeah, I would say that is a pretty good read on him. He sounds extremely insecure; if he is bringing up how guys like your photos as if that's your fault, then he is not a reasonable or confident person.

I mean, I'm imagining a dude who is always checking other women out in public, who communicates with either mumbling or shouting and who takes you 100% for granted.

Once again, I'm not familiar with the situation, but he sounds like a high-octane fuck-boy. Don't let him drag you down though. Some people are so entitled they take everything for granted. Makes me think of that Flavor of the Weak song lol

[äńśhü65]

yes u must bc it may happne that he lost hus interest in you... so its must

[RD196]

tell him how u feel and let him decide whats more imp for him. if he cares for u he will not make u feel insecure n stop tht

[Calixx]

I have told him. But, he doesn't see why it makes me feel insecure. He says he is just being friendly, but I don't believe him. :/

[RD196]

Do what u feel n make u comfortable. if he doesn't care then make him realise whats he gonna loose

[beautifulguy12]

you said in tight clothing, do you mean that tight so you see a camel toe on them?

[catelyntje]

Tell him to stop it's not normal

[Najoub]

he may be a perv

[Calixx]

Probably.

[Najoub]

try to set limits for how much he sees those pics, if that doesn't work out explain to him that you're feeling disrespected because he only sees women as an object to satisfy him and because he's looking at other girls