Is it normal to feel insecure over my boyfriend following Instagram models?

Question

I’m talking about the hot, thin waist, big boobs, perfect looking bottom... you know the ones I mean! I wouldn’t go to the extent of wanting him to unfollow, of course not, they’re beautiful and men will always appreciate a stunning woman. It’s ok. I do too! but it makes me feel bad or guilty for being with him almost as if he’d prefer to be with someone who looks like that and he’s settling for me.

LesterJester · Accepted Answer

If you like looking at pictures of Jason Momoa, or Brad Pitt, or Robert Pattinson, or you like checking out athletes or singers, or even other guys on Instagram, etc... Should your partner feel insecure?

No, because as you said, everybody likes a little eye candy once in a while. The other thing is you know you won't be dating, meeting or marrying any of the above guys and nothing more will come from looking at them.

The same applies to these Instagram posers. I don't follow or check any of them out myself, in fact, I just can't get into Instagram and don't see the point in it.

Those girls only have one thing going for them and that's their looks. They know this, so they use it to get followers and crap. They have so many mindless followers that there's zero chance your partner is going to magically hook up with them and no doubt your partner is fully aware of this.

You might not be perfect, I know I'm not, and I bet your partner isn't perfect either... And those girls on Instagram aren't perfect either and full of flaws.

Filters, Makeup, Lighting and good old fashion Photoshop make them seem perfect, but as a graphic designer and former photo editor /retoucher, I can tell you straight up that they have just as many pimples, stretch marks, bags under the eyes and flawed complexions like the rest of us.

They're nice to look at, but they'd be a damn nightmare to be with or live with. Even without all the above editing and such, trying to maintain a perfect body, public image and lifestyle would be a constant chore and it would get shallow and suck the fun out of everything in due course.

These people also get an ego so big, they end up with a God complex and would be unbearable to be around.

And then when they're old and their looks start to give out, and when newer, fresher posers come along to take the attention away from them, what do they have left going for them?

rjroy3 · Accepted Answer

It's normal for girls to feel insecure in general. Not saying that as a means to diminish the idea on this topic. But the average woman has some level of insecurity around other attractive women or even something as unthreatening as men talking about a hot female celebrity.

Humans in general do this to some extent, but more so younger women. You view the act of him following other attractive women as meaning something deeper, that's negative. Perhaps that he isn't that into you or that he thinks other women are prettier than you or so on.

In general guys think in terms of X thing is caused by Y event. While women think in terms of X meaning something in and of itself. For example, men think you were late because of traffic. Women think if you really cared you would have been on time and that being late means you don't care.

To a guy following an Instagram model doesn't actually mean anything. He follows insta models because he's likely pretty horny at the time of following and he'll get a little hit of sexual energy by looking at it. She's attractive. It's pretty cut and dry.

Feeling insecure about that only comes in because you're associating him following another girl with having a deeper meaning, when he's just horny and it's a fantasy like porn. No deeper meaning. Even celebrities like kanye west who have Kim Kardashian watch porn, follow insta models and find other women appealing. It is 100% in him and has nothing to do with you.

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

You're right to feel that way, for a taken man his woman should be enough for him and he shouldn't be putting his gaze on other women. Of course there are pretty women everywhere and I also celebrate them, but seeing and looking aren't the same thing for a reason.

Now don't get me wrong, I personally wouldn't mind it if he followed his favorite celebrities, actresses and singers. I think having a celeb crush or fav actress/singer is totally fine. But I don't think following a bunch of Instagram models for their hot body is ok if he has a girlfriend. Someone might wanna argue that it's fine if his girlfriend is fine with it, but the thing is, I don't think any girl should be fine with it to begin with.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Noticing women you see is normal we all notice people. Going out of your way to look up half naked people while IN a relationship, is gross in my opinion

It wouldn’t make me insecure it would turn me off. I also don’t search other people’s computer history. So I guess I wouldn’t know. But I’d be disgusted if I found out.

I wouldn’t do that on a relationship. People saying it’s like breathing or OK bc he’s having sex with you, are making up ridiculous excuses for bad behavior. He doesn’t HAVE to look up anyone. It’s entirely voluntary.

sejla · Answer

I'd say when I was young I'd be insecure but now not so much. It would bug me if my boyfriend made a major hobby of it. I personally get all kinds of notifications about handsome sexy young male kpop singers on my facebook page because I belong to multiple "noona" groups. Sometimes like today half clothed kpop singers pics appear.

It really is more about how does your boyfriend treat you on a daily basis. Is he respectful. When he is with you walking does he try to focus on you or is he always looking elsewhere. I don't mean a quick glance and a pretty woman but does he just spend his whole time with you checking out other women. If he doesn't that maybe you can give a chance to show you he can be a good guy.

Account · Answer

I'd be like "as if they would ever fuck him" and dump him without ever explaining the reason.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s normal, maybe, but you might not have to be. I also think it depends on what the girl is like.

Like, yes, Karlie Kloss is gorgeous, and a model, but she also does business blogs and some pretty cool stuff besides that.

There’s a cosplayer that I follow. Yes, she’s gorgeous, but her makeup work is amazing (and she’s rarely scantily clad or anything) - half the time, she can look like an actual male character, she’s that good. I follow her to see the transformations, and I love the geek stuff.

I’m also a performer. I know models, singers and actresses and have some genuine friends who are gorgeous. I’ve also had super jealous girlfriends who have had fits when I’ve talked to female FRIENDS (models or not), and it doesn’t work. If I’m dating someone, she has to trust that I’m not messing around. Because sometimes I might be working with these women.

Of course, I’m not really giving them reasons to be worried, either. I’m not liking the bikini pics and posting dirty messages or creepy crap on their pages. I’m not working ALONE with them.

btbc92 · Answer

Why are you dating such a person? It's normal becaus wits your feelings, but your being a hypocrite if you think it's okay for him to do that but you feel very insecure with yourself. I would not want somebody like that. He is obviously lusting after them. Men who sincerely like you wouldn't do that because your normally who they would want to think about. There is a difference between noticing vs lusting. You need to either talk to him about it or get out of that relationship, before it gets worse and you'll grow to despise him.

R_ūshī · Answer

It's impossible to look like those models. They've had a lot of surgery, the photos have been edited and even their lifestyle is too ummm... ephemeral? well I don't have words but all I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel insecure over them because it's pointless.

He's not settling for you. He chose you. He just likes looking at them cause that's what they do. They post provocative stuff to get attention. Whereas you, on the other had, didn't have to do all of that and he still chose you to be his girlfriend.

Hamsteroids · Answer

Honestly, I feel bad about it too. It eats away at me inside thinking like that but I can’t help it. So I’m sorry, I know it’s not much help. All I know is that I hate that shit too, because I wouldn’t ever think to do that. (As in following hot dudes, liking, etc. It almost seems disrespectful to me)

MikeAndMolly · Answer

Yea well judging from the fact that this question (or some variant) shows up on this sight like several times a day, I'm gonna say yes, it's totally normal to feel insecure about that.

I wouldn't stress about it or jump to conclusions from it if I were you. It sounds like you sort of get why he does it so that's good.

I like porn (and other pictures of women) too, but I definitely don't secretly wish my girlfriend looked different or that I was with someone else. That's probably not what's going through his head.

I like to look at a variety of girls, but my girl is the only one I want to come home to at the end of the day.

Hope that helps.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I'm not on Instagram, so I don't know the nature of the platform. If he's having private messenger conversations or openly flirting with them in comments, then it would be cause for concern. If he's just looking at pics, then I think that's just a man doing what men do. We like visual stimulation is all. If anything, you should be more threatened by him TALKING to those girls than him LOOKING at them. Because talking implies a potential intention to "make something happen". Looking is just... looking.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Feeling jealous is normal, everyone feels that way. Of course it's going to make you feel a little self conscience when all the Instagram women he's looking at don't look like you. The sexual fantasy women are usually the preferred preference of women they would like to be with sexually.. and if they had a shot with such women, then they would go for it.

Unirocks · Answer

Honestly, 99% of those models you see don’t even look like that themselves. There are various accounts exposing insta models, they photoshop their photos.
Today’s unrealistic beauty standards have women doing all sorts of stuff to make themselves look more attractive. and trust me, even the most “stunning” women are insecure.
Its a cycle you really cannot escape. So don’t fret and enjoy being yourself

stardust101 · Answer

Well, I became insecure about my ex boyfriend looking at bbw (big beautiful women) and I’m not big whatsoever. Knowing that’s what he preferred even though to me they weren’t good looking, made me feel like crap and like he was settling with me. All my life, I’ve been called attractive and men would flock to me, but he REALLY made me feel insecure. Told me to eat mire and threatened to cheat on me if I didn’t gain 100 lbs.

lordgrifis · Answer

You can feel insecure, but for him (and, let me be earnest, for all males) looking at women is like breathing: you can't live without, it's part of our nature and didn't mean anything special. What give you measures of love is what a man do, not what he talks or watch. He's with you, not with them, and until he will put you first, you didn't have to worry. The moment you was with him, and instead of looking and talking to you he will choose to look over models online and put you aside, ok, that will be a problem.

tiajoka · Answer

Yes it's normal, and no he shouldn't be following them. My dad is my standard for men, and he would never do something so insensitive that he knows would make my mom uncomfortable and jealous. Why should a guy be looking at fake booties and girls he's never met when he's got you to smile at? Doesn't make sense to me.

Em2000 · Answer

Yes it's normal, but you shouldn't feel insecure cause at the end of the day he is attracted to you and you alone, so if he follows them just think at the end of the day he's coming home to you so why do other girls matter whether they are models or not

VioletStardust · Answer

It's totally understandable to be jealous. Doesn't mean it's healthy, but it's definitely understandable. I don't really have any advice, because I'm just as insecure but I hope you manage to figure out yourself and your worth:)

arabgoddess · Answer

I'd be deeply offended more than insecure.. It's like he's saying indirectly that his partners outward appearance isn't good enough and that there is better out there! Absolute turn offff!

Anonymous · Answer

It is quite normal indeed to feel insecurity and now now unsure of your own self. It's a wonder because Boy Wonder has made you feel as suck. I find him disrespectful, to say the least. If he is doing it when he knows he shouldn't because he has a mate such as you, He is not in love with you but insterad is livelong in his own fantasy worlsd with fake model girls. Bare bottom line.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It depends on him! I told my future-ex-fiancé when we first started dating, I LOVE to look at girls and I don't think anything is ever gonna stop me but, I'm just window shopping! I'm in love with YOU and I'm NOT looking at other girls to find someone to replace you with! It's just sort of a pastime for me. She's my ex because SHE started cheating on ME!!

StephenCF · Answer

I don’t follow models for being models, but some may be agreeable/entertaining influencers who happen to be attractive. I’ll follow them because I have a free will in a healthy relationship, but I’d hope my lady doesn’t feel insecure over insignificant matters like this. There’s no cheating when there’s no romantic/sexual communication 🤷🏻‍♂️

SarahsSummer · Answer

It’s only normal in the sense that many people are insecure about their partners social media use. Try not to be tho. It’s not productive or rational. He choose to be with you in the real world. Social media isn’t the real world.

flamiE · Answer

You said it yourself, men will always appreciate a stunning woman. Why does it make you uncomfortable? Does he make you feel unsecure about your body? If not, I don’t see a reason for you to be worried.

Manlyman1 · Answer

We are all settling for something all the time. You're not expected to be perfect just like you don't expect him to be perfect. Your history with him and the bond you've built is something those girls with the filtered photos taken from the right angles don't have. If you feel insecure then ask yourself where he sleeps.

EABsTUQ · Answer

I mean this is about you not him. Everyone is making it about him. This is about how you view yourself and how you view the world. You can change those. I mean I'm sure their are guys better looking them him. Would you switch his body for theirs if you could do it without anyone ever knowing? Personally the girls I find the out sexy are not the girls i'd date or marry. So I wouldn't worry about it. He just gets a high from looking at her pictures. Plenty of girls who can't even get a guy.

CowboyUpRight · Answer

Ya that's kinda dumb... Ever masterbate? If so what was your motivation? Because if its anything other than your darling boyfriend, then you need to get the fuck off internet, and grow the fuck up, because your not ready... Ya know what, go ahead and take a break, and do some soul searching for while anyway...

Pamina · Answer

It may be normal, but whether it's normal or not is irrelevant. The problem is that it's not reasonable or healthy.

jasco · Answer

well i do this to and i make sure to tell my girlfriend that i follow these types when i was single cause well i am single so why not but now that i am taken i won't be hearting them i like i used to instead will just skip right over them unless its a old friend of mind that ik and i can prove that we talk threw the messages but no its not wrong depending on rather he's liking them or not tho is another question

Janncis · Answer

Good deamit, its internet. Dont take it to seriously. Sometimes instagram models are just like fine art, all good just for watching.
Also if your jelous of there bodies, why dont you work out yours? I mean if you want to change something, with hard work it can be done. Within reason of course.

StrawberryLetter23 · Answer

were none of us perfect. there are some stunning looking men and women on this planet. it just a natural reaction to want to look. the settling thing.. we all do to some degree. otherwise we'd all end up dying lonely and frustrated. but that doesn't mean they dont love your little cotton socks off also, or find you equally attractive.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

dump him and let him have his models ! for you are to good to be treated by him this way

Daisy007 · Answer

I'd say yeah? Bc a lot of people get "jelous" now or are insecure BUT I don't see why it'd matter? I meaan i follow male models so if my boyfriend followed women models it's not like we're talking / chatting with them so who cares? Be confident!!

AndreasM96 · Answer

I think it is quite common. Maybe girls follow cute male actors too. Just don't let him go too far and comment and stuff. As long as he is with you he probably likes you a lot, so do not worry too much.

Anonymous · Answer

That's why I'm single because nothing is ever good enough for these motherfuckers you think most men would stay around if your legs arms or face were destroyed? No way ! They want beauty and youth.

little_bird1 · Answer

I mean, following and watching their photos is okay, but I do mind if he hits like or comments something, that's just disrespectful.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Yeah, it's very normal. You know what's more normal? Not dating someone pathetic enough to follow "Instagram models". Honestly, worry about your dignity and lose the juvenile fool.

Dogmommy5 · Answer

No he’s being immature! Actually I occasionally look at what they are wearing for fashion advice

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Guys will notice a pretty girl, but following like this is disrespectful to you, as shown by your statement, "it makes me feel bad or guilty for being with him almost as if he’d prefer to be with someone who looks like that and he’s settling for me."

ArdianValleth · Answer

No need to feel insecure, unless he start , frequent comment n chat with that model. If not, men know what he can get n what he can appreciate only.

KristaGrym · Answer

Well probably u follow hot guys on insta too I guess

debraparty456 · Answer

Its normal to feel that way but he should make you feel like a princess and you're the only one for him

Anonymous · Answer

Normal, sure. You don't like that he follows other women. It's normal.. you can certainly tell him "hey, it bothers me that you follow all these women, even though you don't see them in real life, can you please stop". If he persists, or he says "no", then, you have some real thinking to do about if you want to be with a guy who won't listen to you

markscott · Answer

Probably many girls would be somewhat insecure if their SO did this.

GeanieJ78 · Answer

Yeah. But if you trust him it shouldn't be an issue.

PartRaptor · Answer

Women follow Instagram thots too what about them people just follow hoes on Instagram that what people do

Anonymous · Answer

of course he'd rather be with a hotter girl. sorry to break it to you, unless he's madly in love with you then your insecurities are perfectly valid.

RHK36 · Answer

If you trust him, it shouldn't be an issue. It's a bit weird to be insecure over IG models unless he's got a history of dating them.

Hunter7754 · Answer

If us guys can deal with you drooling over Christian Grey from 50 Shades of Grey along with Jacob from Twilight, then you can deal with us guys following instagram models

Anonymous · Answer

It is... if you see most of your own value as physical, or feel you have nothing that really separates you from most other girls.

GreatnessBack · Answer

Instagram is a shit hole of insecure women making it worse for themselves and thirsty ass dudes!! Ugh.

MajorOof · Answer

Yeah it’s normal but if I got jealous over that I’d be a hypocrite because I follow hot guys on instagram too

Anonymous · Answer

Of course he'd like to get with one of those girls! But not being with you won't make that any more a reality than it is now. He knows that too which is why he's genuinely happy to be with you.

piksi89 · Answer

As a male, I have to tell you that it's ok.. Usually it's all about looks of that women that he follows, and I am sure that you have more to offer to him than just looks. 😊

outside_Toronto · Answer

I don't know why you check his Instagram if it makes you feel that way. Stop looking at it

Nikunj70 · Answer

If you feel something special about him than its normal that kind of feeling

Brackem · Answer

If he looks up he will see a real person not a photo shopped version of reality, and believe me the real thing wins.

Anonymous · Answer

It would make me feel insecure too. But then again, I am just an insecure person in general.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls do the same exact thing. I have a girl who has a boyfriend she's obsessed with drake. I don't know why when we do it, it's a problem

Slim57 · Answer

Depends if it was before or after you got together, if it was after then I see a problem if it wasn't I don't see the problem

Mann__ · Answer

Don't be insecure he loves you more than disha patani 😂😂😂

crustygaia · Answer

think about the ways you react seeing a hot guy on Instagram.

Gottabsavagee · Answer

he's a guy afterall. I don't know

Is it normal to feel insecure over my boyfriend following Instagram models?

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I get so insecure when my boyfriend follows random attractive girls on instagram. Am I overreacting?

Is it normal to feel insecure over my boyfriend following Instagram models?

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I get so insecure when my boyfriend follows random attractive girls on instagram. Am I overreacting?

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