If you like looking at pictures of Jason Momoa, or Brad Pitt, or Robert Pattinson, or you like checking out athletes or singers, or even other guys on Instagram, etc... Should your partner feel insecure?
No, because as you said, everybody likes a little eye candy once in a while. The other thing is you know you won't be dating, meeting or marrying any of the above guys and nothing more will come from looking at them.
The same applies to these Instagram posers. I don't follow or check any of them out myself, in fact, I just can't get into Instagram and don't see the point in it.
Those girls only have one thing going for them and that's their looks. They know this, so they use it to get followers and crap. They have so many mindless followers that there's zero chance your partner is going to magically hook up with them and no doubt your partner is fully aware of this.
You might not be perfect, I know I'm not, and I bet your partner isn't perfect either... And those girls on Instagram aren't perfect either and full of flaws.
Filters, Makeup, Lighting and good old fashion Photoshop make them seem perfect, but as a graphic designer and former photo editor /retoucher, I can tell you straight up that they have just as many pimples, stretch marks, bags under the eyes and flawed complexions like the rest of us.
They're nice to look at, but they'd be a damn nightmare to be with or live with. Even without all the above editing and such, trying to maintain a perfect body, public image and lifestyle would be a constant chore and it would get shallow and suck the fun out of everything in due course.
These people also get an ego so big, they end up with a God complex and would be unbearable to be around.
And then when they're old and their looks start to give out, and when newer, fresher posers come along to take the attention away from them, what do they have left going for them?
It's normal for girls to feel insecure in general. Not saying that as a means to diminish the idea on this topic. But the average woman has some level of insecurity around other attractive women or even something as unthreatening as men talking about a hot female celebrity.
Humans in general do this to some extent, but more so younger women. You view the act of him following other attractive women as meaning something deeper, that's negative. Perhaps that he isn't that into you or that he thinks other women are prettier than you or so on.
In general guys think in terms of X thing is caused by Y event. While women think in terms of X meaning something in and of itself. For example, men think you were late because of traffic. Women think if you really cared you would have been on time and that being late means you don't care.
To a guy following an Instagram model doesn't actually mean anything. He follows insta models because he's likely pretty horny at the time of following and he'll get a little hit of sexual energy by looking at it. She's attractive. It's pretty cut and dry.
Feeling insecure about that only comes in because you're associating him following another girl with having a deeper meaning, when he's just horny and it's a fantasy like porn. No deeper meaning. Even celebrities like kanye west who have Kim Kardashian watch porn, follow insta models and find other women appealing. It is 100% in him and has nothing to do with you.
You're right to feel that way, for a taken man his woman should be enough for him and he shouldn't be putting his gaze on other women. Of course there are pretty women everywhere and I also celebrate them, but seeing and looking aren't the same thing for a reason.
Now don't get me wrong, I personally wouldn't mind it if he followed his favorite celebrities, actresses and singers. I think having a celeb crush or fav actress/singer is totally fine. But I don't think following a bunch of Instagram models for their hot body is ok if he has a girlfriend. Someone might wanna argue that it's fine if his girlfriend is fine with it, but the thing is, I don't think any girl should be fine with it to begin with.
Noticing women you see is normal we all notice people. Going out of your way to look up half naked people while IN a relationship, is gross in my opinion
It wouldn’t make me insecure it would turn me off. I also don’t search other people’s computer history. So I guess I wouldn’t know. But I’d be disgusted if I found out.
I wouldn’t do that on a relationship. People saying it’s like breathing or OK bc he’s having sex with you, are making up ridiculous excuses for bad behavior. He doesn’t HAVE to look up anyone. It’s entirely voluntary.
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I'd say when I was young I'd be insecure but now not so much. It would bug me if my boyfriend made a major hobby of it. I personally get all kinds of notifications about handsome sexy young male kpop singers on my facebook page because I belong to multiple "noona" groups. Sometimes like today half clothed kpop singers pics appear.
It really is more about how does your boyfriend treat you on a daily basis. Is he respectful. When he is with you walking does he try to focus on you or is he always looking elsewhere. I don't mean a quick glance and a pretty woman but does he just spend his whole time with you checking out other women. If he doesn't that maybe you can give a chance to show you he can be a good guy.
I'd be like "as if they would ever fuck him" and dump him without ever explaining the reason.
It’s normal, maybe, but you might not have to be. I also think it depends on what the girl is like.
Like, yes, Karlie Kloss is gorgeous, and a model, but she also does business blogs and some pretty cool stuff besides that.
There’s a cosplayer that I follow. Yes, she’s gorgeous, but her makeup work is amazing (and she’s rarely scantily clad or anything) - half the time, she can look like an actual male character, she’s that good. I follow her to see the transformations, and I love the geek stuff.
I’m also a performer. I know models, singers and actresses and have some genuine friends who are gorgeous. I’ve also had super jealous girlfriends who have had fits when I’ve talked to female FRIENDS (models or not), and it doesn’t work. If I’m dating someone, she has to trust that I’m not messing around. Because sometimes I might be working with these women.
Of course, I’m not really giving them reasons to be worried, either. I’m not liking the bikini pics and posting dirty messages or creepy crap on their pages. I’m not working ALONE with them.
Why are you dating such a person? It's normal becaus wits your feelings, but your being a hypocrite if you think it's okay for him to do that but you feel very insecure with yourself. I would not want somebody like that. He is obviously lusting after them. Men who sincerely like you wouldn't do that because your normally who they would want to think about. There is a difference between noticing vs lusting. You need to either talk to him about it or get out of that relationship, before it gets worse and you'll grow to despise him.
It's impossible to look like those models. They've had a lot of surgery, the photos have been edited and even their lifestyle is too ummm... ephemeral? well I don't have words but all I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel insecure over them because it's pointless.
He's not settling for you. He chose you. He just likes looking at them cause that's what they do. They post provocative stuff to get attention. Whereas you, on the other had, didn't have to do all of that and he still chose you to be his girlfriend.
Yea well judging from the fact that this question (or some variant) shows up on this sight like several times a day, I'm gonna say yes, it's totally normal to feel insecure about that.
I wouldn't stress about it or jump to conclusions from it if I were you. It sounds like you sort of get why he does it so that's good.
I like porn (and other pictures of women) too, but I definitely don't secretly wish my girlfriend looked different or that I was with someone else. That's probably not what's going through his head.
I like to look at a variety of girls, but my girl is the only one I want to come home to at the end of the day.
Hope that helps.
Honestly, I feel bad about it too. It eats away at me inside thinking like that but I can’t help it. So I’m sorry, I know it’s not much help. All I know is that I hate that shit too, because I wouldn’t ever think to do that. (As in following hot dudes, liking, etc. It almost seems disrespectful to me)
I'm not on Instagram, so I don't know the nature of the platform. If he's having private messenger conversations or openly flirting with them in comments, then it would be cause for concern. If he's just looking at pics, then I think that's just a man doing what men do. We like visual stimulation is all. If anything, you should be more threatened by him TALKING to those girls than him LOOKING at them. Because talking implies a potential intention to "make something happen". Looking is just... looking.
Honestly, 99% of those models you see don’t even look like that themselves. There are various accounts exposing insta models, they photoshop their photos.
Today’s unrealistic beauty standards have women doing all sorts of stuff to make themselves look more attractive. and trust me, even the most “stunning” women are insecure.
Its a cycle you really cannot escape. So don’t fret and enjoy being yourself
Feeling jealous is normal, everyone feels that way. Of course it's going to make you feel a little self conscience when all the Instagram women he's looking at don't look like you. The sexual fantasy women are usually the preferred preference of women they would like to be with sexually.. and if they had a shot with such women, then they would go for it.
Well, I became insecure about my ex boyfriend looking at bbw (big beautiful women) and I’m not big whatsoever. Knowing that’s what he preferred even though to me they weren’t good looking, made me feel like crap and like he was settling with me. All my life, I’ve been called attractive and men would flock to me, but he REALLY made me feel insecure. Told me to eat mire and threatened to cheat on me if I didn’t gain 100 lbs.
You can feel insecure, but for him (and, let me be earnest, for all males) looking at women is like breathing: you can't live without, it's part of our nature and didn't mean anything special. What give you measures of love is what a man do, not what he talks or watch. He's with you, not with them, and until he will put you first, you didn't have to worry. The moment you was with him, and instead of looking and talking to you he will choose to look over models online and put you aside, ok, that will be a problem.
Yes it's normal, but you shouldn't feel insecure cause at the end of the day he is attracted to you and you alone, so if he follows them just think at the end of the day he's coming home to you so why do other girls matter whether they are models or not
Yes it's normal, and no he shouldn't be following them. My dad is my standard for men, and he would never do something so insensitive that he knows would make my mom uncomfortable and jealous. Why should a guy be looking at fake booties and girls he's never met when he's got you to smile at? Doesn't make sense to me.
It's totally understandable to be jealous. Doesn't mean it's healthy, but it's definitely understandable. I don't really have any advice, because I'm just as insecure but I hope you manage to figure out yourself and your worth:)
It is quite normal indeed to feel insecurity and now now unsure of your own self. It's a wonder because Boy Wonder has made you feel as suck. I find him disrespectful, to say the least. If he is doing it when he knows he shouldn't because he has a mate such as you, He is not in love with you but insterad is livelong in his own fantasy worlsd with fake model girls. Bare bottom line.
It depends on him! I told my future-ex-fiancé when we first started dating, I LOVE to look at girls and I don't think anything is ever gonna stop me but, I'm just window shopping! I'm in love with YOU and I'm NOT looking at other girls to find someone to replace you with! It's just sort of a pastime for me. She's my ex because SHE started cheating on ME!!
It may be normal, but whether it's normal or not is irrelevant. The problem is that it's not reasonable or healthy.
I'd be deeply offended more than insecure.. It's like he's saying indirectly that his partners outward appearance isn't good enough and that there is better out there! Absolute turn offff!
It’s only normal in the sense that many people are insecure about their partners social media use. Try not to be tho. It’s not productive or rational. He choose to be with you in the real world. Social media isn’t the real world.
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