I would personally never be in an open relationship. But I don't judge others that do it. If that's what they both want and it makes them both happy, then I say why not.
I'm glad. :) Whatever y'all decide, you will still be with each other at the end of each day. Don't let any negative opinions of others make you feel like you can't do what makes YOU happy. If you don't mind me asking, what are his thoughts on it?
It was my idea originally and he thought it was a good one based on how we are currently. We have a unique situation. I have 2 online guy friends I've had forever and we still talk and I still send them photos, he hates wearing clothes and wants to be more open with himself with that. So I think it's overal best for us.
I have a couple froends in open relationships and it seems to work for them so far but I think it's tricky and can be kind of like walking on a tightrope.
To be honest I think society and societal standards aren't ready for this... YET! But believe me in maybe 100 years it will be considered as norm! I would not like to share, however i do see the point people that are willing to have this arrangement make! Simply because when you really love and trust someone, sex should not matter THAT much! Ok there is jealousy and the fear of diseases etc... but isn't jealousy a form of.. i trust you but not 1000%? Or the point of being too selfish to consider someone else's need? I think there is a lid to every pot, so some people may never agree to rhis, such as me, but by logics it would make sense. To spice up the relationship or to satisfy someone's fantasies without having to break up with a good person just to lice a fantasy and then realise they've made a mistake. Plus remember, we are all mammals at the end of the day, and mammals aren't really known to be monogamous... 😊
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Bad Idea if you're in love. There will be one time when you will be angry with each other for other reason and will blew up this topic and will feel hurt and much things. I don't even like when my girl says that she has seen dicks on internet. I mean I feel hurt why the hell you're looking at dick on internet when I got one for you.
In open relationship you both will feel when you will make love that something is missing cause there is always someone better in making love than your partner. so hell to the open relationship. Why fuck somebody else when you got your hoe or your playboy.
Have you ever been in a group of 3-6 people and you're all best friends with each other? When you're just hanging out with 1 of them alone, you don't start missing the other cuz they're better. You also don't get jealous when any 2 of them are just hanging out on their own. Why? Because all of you have unique and special connections with one another. Open relationships are going to be the same way. You can love each partner in their own unique way. Yes it's possible you might favour one partner over another, just like you might like one friend over another. But if it works with friendships, it can work with open relationships.
Depends on the couple. If both agree to have one and it's only sex and no emotional connection then it works fine. But if one of them is just agreeing with this purely because they want to please or keep the partner, I think it's a very bad idea and they are going to get hurt in the end.
IT IS CALLED BEING SINGLE. Why people call them Open relationships is just absurd. They are not a relationship, it is simply being single. You don't care for the person or you wouldn't want them with someone else. Basically it is a glorified fuck buddy.
I've seen it go both ways. Most couples can't handle open relationships; something in our brains just isn't wired for it. However, I HAVE seen some folks in open relationships who have an incredibly healthy bond, and from what they've said, it's all about trust and communication. If you lose track of either of those things, folks get jealous or resentful, and it just ends in disaster.
One of those "tread carefully, but it's not impossible" sort of things.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
When I'm in a relationship I care and love with all my heart and I give that guy my everything so I don't think that would work for me. If my boyfriend ever even asked my heart would be crushed. I can't imagine him sleeping with other women, what we do in bed is for us only. I wouldn't want him naked with anyone else spreading his juices on anyone else or some girls juices on him or even her sweat. I don't know to me sex is special even when it's kinky af I could never share that experience with someone else when I'm already in a relationship.
well if your boyfriend and you are only For buddies. then go for it. but drop the boyfriend title. because that's not what he is to you if your willing to sleep with any guy that blows your way. and how are you going to feel when. another girl comes over to screw him. just remember what Snoopy has to say. The Grass Is Always Grenier On The Otherwise Side Of The Fence. Until You Get There ND Find Out Its Artifical Turff
Honestly I think open relationships are more realistic these days or at least having that option on the table. Monogamous relationships are nice, but in my opinion way too naive, If its gonna happen anyway might as well have it all up in the air.
Point I'm trying to make it, Even if you do like someone on an emotional level, there is always gonna be the chance that one of the 2 parties is gonna go unfulfilled sexually. So you might as well leave that door open there are no surprises.
To put it simply... I love you, but when i hear you say things like "I only wanna have sex with you" I can't help but laugh a little inside.
I think they are a good option for some people, but not for everyone. I personally think they'd be best when a couple has been married/together for a while (I'm talking at least several years), don't have that intense jealousy anymore, feel connected to their partner on a deeper level than just sex, and maybe are a little bored with their sex life. Or, for people who never wanted to be monogamous to start with.
I don't understand when people say "you need a lot of trust and sense of security" to be in open relationship. What trust? You're already being cheated left and right with your own blessing. Do you think rules really apply? Sense of security, I guess you will be okay with anything as long as you have money and status.
It's like living in a harem, except females can screw other guys too. Oh, the happiness.
Reminds me of what one psychiatrist and couples councilor said about it, "in order to maintain an open relationship you would need strong love for one another, absolute trust, and an incredibly strong connection to the person, but if you have all of that with your partner then why would you look for some one else?" Its funny no one really thinks of it in that way, if you need a lot of rules to make it work then chances are its not a particularly good system.
@hellionthesagereborn Yes, indeed. Then they only focus on the first part "strong love, absolute trust, strong connection" trying to make it sound like people in an open relationship have somewhat reached an enlightened stage above everyone else, when in reality there's probably little love to speak of. When you really love someone you wouldn't say "I will be spending my evening with someone else. See you on Sunday for family lunch" like you just went out for a couple of beers with your friends, would you? You need to invest time and money to actively pursue other people.
Yep, its a bizarre thought process. I mean most people can't handle a one on one relationship to begin with yet think they can juggle something even more complicated as an open relationship? Its just fantasy, sounds good on paper every one gets what ever they want without consequence but the reality is it just doesn't work, we are not built for it.
The picture should show this couple fighting and throwing things. That's where it ends up for most emotionally involved couples. in my experience, the couples who make this work have a relationship of convenience. ~JSmith
You both can do whatever you want but at the same that is a bad idea especially where feelings can get hurt, pregnancy can happen with the wrong person, and diseases can take place. Even if your cautious its still cheating that is not a relationship ( You may call it a group or multiple friends with benefits).
Both need to be very secure about themselves, both need to be veeery sure that is what they want. Otherwhise it will be very complicated. Also if it is a very serious relationship, like a marriage, I don't think is a great idea. Since isn't a perfect enviroment if you looking to build a familly. But in the end, if it is what is wanted, you guys are adults and free to do what your heart desires :)
I feel that it's something that works well if the couple has spent a significant amount of time with each other being monogamous for several years and feeling like they wanna try other things but still remain in a relationship. This sounds like something that a couple married for 20+ years would do.
It's not for me. If it works for some people, great, but I know I wouldn't be good for me.
I would also appreciate if couples looking for extra partners on online dating sites paid attention to the "strictly monogamous" option. That means very explicitly that I do NOT want to be part of an open relationship.
I don't care if others are into it. I can't be. I'll be in constant fear that my SO would find someone better and then dump me because I gave them a reason to. Also I think couples that don't make their relationship exclusive are basically in an open relationship.
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I would personally never be in an open relationship. But I don't judge others that do it. If that's what they both want and it makes them both happy, then I say why not.
Thanks. That answer made me happy!
I'm glad. :)
Whatever y'all decide, you will still be with each other at the end of each day. Don't let any negative opinions of others make you feel like you can't do what makes YOU happy. If you don't mind me asking, what are his thoughts on it?
It was my idea originally and he thought it was a good one based on how we are currently. We have a unique situation. I have 2 online guy friends I've had forever and we still talk and I still send them photos, he hates wearing clothes and wants to be more open with himself with that. So I think it's overal best for us.
We decided this is what we want. So far it's been good for our relationship.
I have a couple froends in open relationships and it seems to work for them so far but I think it's tricky and can be kind of like walking on a tightrope.
We are thinking we want to explore it.
I could see that coming a mile away. Lol. As long as you both communicate and aren't the possessive, jealous types, have fun.
Well thank you!
So far our change has been good for us
To be honest I think society and societal standards aren't ready for this... YET! But believe me in maybe 100 years it will be considered as norm! I would not like to share, however i do see the point people that are willing to have this arrangement make!
Simply because when you really love and trust someone, sex should not matter THAT much! Ok there is jealousy and the fear of diseases etc... but isn't jealousy a form of.. i trust you but not 1000%? Or the point of being too selfish to consider someone else's need? I think there is a lid to every pot, so some people may never agree to rhis, such as me, but by logics it would make sense. To spice up the relationship or to satisfy someone's fantasies without having to break up with a good person just to lice a fantasy and then realise they've made a mistake. Plus remember, we are all mammals at the end of the day, and mammals aren't really known to be monogamous... 😊
Bad Idea if you're in love.
There will be one time when you will be angry with each other for other reason and will blew up this topic and
will feel hurt and much things.
I don't even like when my girl says that she has seen dicks on internet.
I mean I feel hurt why the hell you're looking at dick on internet when I got one for you.
In open relationship you both will feel when you will make love
that something is missing cause there is always someone better in making love than your partner.
so hell to the open relationship.
Why fuck somebody else when you got your hoe or your playboy.
Have you ever been in a group of 3-6 people and you're all best friends with each other? When you're just hanging out with 1 of them alone, you don't start missing the other cuz they're better. You also don't get jealous when any 2 of them are just hanging out on their own. Why? Because all of you have unique and special connections with one another. Open relationships are going to be the same way. You can love each partner in their own unique way. Yes it's possible you might favour one partner over another, just like you might like one friend over another. But if it works with friendships, it can work with open relationships.
that is not love than
love is where you don't feel the same with any another person.
Depends on the couple. If both agree to have one and it's only sex and no emotional connection then it works fine. But if one of them is just agreeing with this purely because they want to please or keep the partner, I think it's a very bad idea and they are going to get hurt in the end.
IT IS CALLED BEING SINGLE.
Why people call them Open relationships is just absurd. They are not a relationship, it is simply being single. You don't care for the person or you wouldn't want them with someone else. Basically it is a glorified fuck buddy.
I've seen it go both ways. Most couples can't handle open relationships; something in our brains just isn't wired for it. However, I HAVE seen some folks in open relationships who have an incredibly healthy bond, and from what they've said, it's all about trust and communication. If you lose track of either of those things, folks get jealous or resentful, and it just ends in disaster.
One of those "tread carefully, but it's not impossible" sort of things.
When I'm in a relationship I care and love with all my heart and I give that guy my everything so I don't think that would work for me. If my boyfriend ever even asked my heart would be crushed. I can't imagine him sleeping with other women, what we do in bed is for us only. I wouldn't want him naked with anyone else spreading his juices on anyone else or some girls juices on him or even her sweat. I don't know to me sex is special even when it's kinky af I could never share that experience with someone else when I'm already in a relationship.
well if your boyfriend and you are only For buddies. then go for it. but drop the boyfriend title. because that's not what he is to you if your willing to sleep with any guy that blows your way. and how are you going to feel when. another girl comes over to screw him. just remember what Snoopy has to say. The Grass Is Always Grenier On The Otherwise Side Of The Fence. Until You Get There ND Find Out Its Artifical Turff
Honestly I think open relationships are more realistic these days or at least having that option on the table. Monogamous relationships are nice, but in my opinion way too naive, If its gonna happen anyway might as well have it all up in the air.
Point I'm trying to make it, Even if you do like someone on an emotional level, there is always gonna be the chance that one of the 2 parties is gonna go unfulfilled sexually. So you might as well leave that door open there are no surprises.
To put it simply... I love you, but when i hear you say things like "I only wanna have sex with you" I can't help but laugh a little inside.
I think they are a good option for some people, but not for everyone. I personally think they'd be best when a couple has been married/together for a while (I'm talking at least several years), don't have that intense jealousy anymore, feel connected to their partner on a deeper level than just sex, and maybe are a little bored with their sex life. Or, for people who never wanted to be monogamous to start with.
We decided to go for it and the last few weeks have been better for my boyfriend and I than ever before.
Great! :)
Yeah. I'm thankful for the result of it.
I don't understand when people say "you need a lot of trust and sense of security" to be in open relationship.
What trust? You're already being cheated left and right with your own blessing. Do you think rules really apply?
Sense of security, I guess you will be okay with anything as long as you have money and status.
It's like living in a harem, except females can screw other guys too.
Oh, the happiness.
Reminds me of what one psychiatrist and couples councilor said about it, "in order to maintain an open relationship you would need strong love for one another, absolute trust, and an incredibly strong connection to the person, but if you have all of that with your partner then why would you look for some one else?" Its funny no one really thinks of it in that way, if you need a lot of rules to make it work then chances are its not a particularly good system.
@hellionthesagereborn
Yes, indeed. Then they only focus on the first part "strong love, absolute trust, strong connection" trying to make it sound like people in an open relationship have somewhat reached an enlightened stage above everyone else, when in reality there's probably little love to speak of.
When you really love someone you wouldn't say "I will be spending my evening with someone else. See you on Sunday for family lunch" like you just went out for a couple of beers with your friends, would you? You need to invest time and money to actively pursue other people.
Yep, its a bizarre thought process. I mean most people can't handle a one on one relationship to begin with yet think they can juggle something even more complicated as an open relationship? Its just fantasy, sounds good on paper every one gets what ever they want without consequence but the reality is it just doesn't work, we are not built for it.
If two people actually loved each other for real they would never consider sharing their partner.
Yes 💜
The picture should show this couple fighting and throwing things. That's where it ends up for most emotionally involved couples. in my experience, the couples who make this work have a relationship of convenience.
~JSmith
You both can do whatever you want but at the same that is a bad idea especially where feelings can get hurt, pregnancy can happen with the wrong person, and diseases can take place. Even if your cautious its still cheating that is not a relationship ( You may call it a group or multiple friends with benefits).
Both need to be very secure about themselves, both need to be veeery sure that is what they want. Otherwhise it will be very complicated.
Also if it is a very serious relationship, like a marriage, I don't think is a great idea. Since isn't a perfect enviroment if you looking to build a familly.
But in the end, if it is what is wanted, you guys are adults and free to do what your heart desires :)
I feel that it's something that works well if the couple has spent a significant amount of time with each other being monogamous for several years and feeling like they wanna try other things but still remain in a relationship. This sounds like something that a couple married for 20+ years would do.
It's not for me. If it works for some people, great, but I know I wouldn't be good for me.
I would also appreciate if couples looking for extra partners on online dating sites paid attention to the "strictly monogamous" option. That means very explicitly that I do NOT want to be part of an open relationship.
From what I've witnessed of friends who opt to say, "I'm in an open relationship," they really mean to say one or a combination of a few things:
1) "I have a friends-with-benefits situation, but I really don't want to be judged."
2) "I feel there's a chance someone better may come along eventually, and this way I have a guilt-free way out if I want to leave."
3) "I don't want to commit, but at the same time I also don't like to feel lonely."
I don't care if others are into it. I can't be. I'll be in constant fear that my SO would find someone better and then dump me because I gave them a reason to. Also I think couples that don't make their relationship exclusive are basically in an open relationship.