Why aren't guys my own age ever interested in me?

Question

I'm 23 years old, and looking for a serious relationship with someone in my age range (21-27ish). The only problem is that guys my age don't seem interested in me at all. I get a lot of looks from older men (40s, 50s, even 60s), but younger guys won't even look at me. I've been called "pretty" or "attractive" many times before, but I'm not sure how true that is since guys never talk to me. I'm 5'8, 120lbs, naturally blonde, green eyes, pale skin (turnoff?), pink cheeks, and have a few curves, but am more on the slender side overall. I'm very shy and quiet in terms of personality, although I do think I'd have a lot to offer if someone gave me a chance. I'm afraid to talk to guys my own age because I just know they'll judge me and think I'm gross for trying to talk to them. How can I make myself more appealing to them?

laki36 · Accepted Answer

If you knew how many people actually judge you, would you still care?
When I look back, I think the main issue is the 'shy and quiet'. When I was 23-ish, I liked the idea of 'action' girlfriend. And most girls that actually liked me (something I did not notice or know about) were the shy and quiet types.
Now? I can appreciate shy girls. At that age? Nah.
And if pale skin is a turnoff, I'm a walrus 😁
Word of advice? Talk to them. Be fun to be around. Sense of humor and smile. It will get better.

ObsidianBlackbird · Accepted Answer

if you seem quiet guys will. notice and assume trying with you is going to be hard work or being quiet can be misconstrued as being unisterested in which case the guy won't want the effort of a quick rejection. it's all about risk and reward.

GUYS WANT GIRLS TO COME TO THEM IT'S ATTRACTIVE IT MEANS WE DON'T HAVE TO PUT IN THE EFFORT PLUS JUST LIKE GIRLS IT FEELS GREAT TO BE WANTED.

just don't come off as desperate and be a laugh.

Pale skin is hot as fuck so it ain't thag

Mishthefish · Accepted Answer

You stated and I quote "I'm afraid to talk to guys my own age because I just know they'll judge me and think I'm gross for trying to talk to them." Maybe this is your problem> not necessarily that guys your own age aren't interested but that you're not making an effort / showing an interest in them. Maybe try making the first move (flirt with a guy thats your age ) and see how that goes xx goodluck

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

My guess is the fact that you call yourself shy and quiet. Often guys your/our own age are as well or just lack the confidence to approach a girl unless she is giving off strong F*#k me signs. The older guys tend to be more confident and comfortable enough to initiate conversations with girls they find attractive. it's not you. It's them.

paulyy_07 · Accepted Answer

Literally same, seems like some guys avoid shy and quiet girls 🤔 maybe you should join a dating app/site like tinder and put all of your hobbies and interests out there for all guys to see so you can possibly meet some potential bfs

TheMidnightLion · Accepted Answer

Maybe be adventurous and try for an older guy? You might find that they are far more worth your time, most seem to treat women with more respect due to the time they were raised and grew up in (just my opinion).

lebombb · Answer

It is very hard to find a serious guy under 30. The older man know value of a woman when they see one. It means that you're a very good quality woman indeed. Unfortunately, they guys of your age won't know it until they grow up, and that'll happen (not to all of them) when they hit 40,

Ram0n83 · Answer

You being shy and quiet is probably your biggest enemy. Guys in the age range you want are still young and want to goof off and be out and about.

And why would they think you're gross for wanting to try to have a conversation with them?

SnapTsch · Answer

you are the probably the one that most non-douche guys are looking for , its just that you need to wait for the right one, because every relationship with the wrong guy is just gonna drive the right guys more away

TeddyEddy · Answer

It sounds like you are quite innocent looking. Maybe they're scared they'll ruin you :P
You might just need to use more open body language or something; little things like that can make a huge difference :)

Max_winner1 · Answer

Not sure, be nicer? seems like you come off as hot or sexy but maybe you are all rotten inside? I dont like really good looking women because men usually will entice her morals even when she's in a committed relationship.

Intraluminal · Answer

Do the opposite of this.

"I'm afraid to talk to guys my own age because I just know they'll judge me and think I'm gross for trying to talk to them."

by the way, I find myself strangely infatuated by you.

WiseTurtle · Answer

If you were my sister i would thank god for that shield he's putting around you and prevent bad guys being attracted to you.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think older guys could be more mature that's why you have trouble finding a guy your own age. Maybe try approaching guys that seem more mature that are your age.

akadatank44 · Answer

Do yourself a favor and do whatever you can to face your fears and put yourself in uncomfortable places and talk to us guys. Because that's the only way you'll find us and you'll grow as and person.

yashjoy · Answer

sounds like a girl I'd date lol (the way you described yourself)
anyways try to be a little social, doesn't mean it has to be a lengthy conversation, just some small talk will do.
n you're a girl so chances are it would be easy for you.

bente2 · Answer

I think your interests might differ from most people your age. Where have you tried meeting guys?

Illaoianime · Answer

hun would not waste my time  go study the flat earth and the bible  once you are done with that  then you can start looking for a relationship and weed out all the idiots

jason_waterfall · Answer

Maybe you're attractive so you intimate guys that's why they don't approach you.

Wurdom · Answer

You sound like a great and pretty girl. I couldn't tell you the answer based on the information you gave me though.

Dinnye001 · Answer

I think that the guys you are looking for are looking for easy prey. Keep looking, it's not impossible to find the normal guy.

RationalMale · Answer

Without a picture we really have no clue if your looks are great or need a little improvement.

Regular1 · Answer

Why not enjoy some time with the 40s 50s and 60 year olds nstead?

theFantasticJ · Answer

you're too shy. you need to mix in with your own age group to get the to good lads

Anonymous · Answer

If you can try to be more talkative, guys seem to avoid us shy girls

Anonymous · Answer

the younger generations tend to go for a girls of a heavier weight. that may be where the gap is.

Why aren't guys my own age ever interested in me?

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