Happens all the time. Here’s a sample below. And please don’t say “we’re biologically wired...” it’s just another bogus excuse.
Thanks
Why do guys expect to date pretty girls even if they’re ugly themselves?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I have asked like 8 to 9 ugly, short ( short is cute) and broke women. After I asked she expected another better than me ask her out. Where she was only used as a sex material. I don't know what problem was with me though. I am not that much ugly. I am muscular. About being broke. I am cause I am in last year of University and I am purchasing all things by myself. so I can't waste that much money. Any way I don't think 5' 10" is considered as short.
I am not saying all women are shallow but most of them are fooled by rich handsome and tall boys ( I would rather call them fuckboys.(even here not all are same but a fuck boys ruins life of 30 girls at least. You can count even if 1/3 of boys like that are fuckboys what's happening around us))
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Same goes for men. They’re fooled by hot women and then they’re heartbroken, complaining all women are “whores” or “bitches”.
Why can’t people see past looks to actually value a person!
Sounds like he's a bitter asshole unwilling to work on himself. I'd chalk it up to that, just bitter jealous guys. Sometimes people are just ugly and they can't do anything about that, but they can make themselves nicer, funny, interesting...
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5 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Thank you! Finally a reasonable response that doesn’t include defensiveness and denial
I also think a lot of the "hot women are the only women" thing comes from how lots of guys perceive women and their personal relationship to women's roles.
Lots of guys believe that you can only have a relationship if you have sex. If you are with a woman and she doesn't have sex with you, she's a friend (or useless waste of time to some). They seem not to understand emotional connections, not to grasp that women want more than just sex (generalizing), and they think women are not good for anything more than sex. 'Sex makes a relationship and is the sole key to intimacy.'
Clearly that's not every guy or girl, and lots of guys do want more than just looks. I personally want to date geeky girls who like things I like. They don't need to be a model, we just need to share interests and be attracted to each other.
Because men are more shallow than women and won’t settle for someone they think is unattractive. But a woman can fall in love with man who is unattractive to others, because he’s attractive to her in her eyes. Men are rarely like that.
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5 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Doesn’t shock me how a man wasn’t able to admit that in any of these answers. Mostly they’ll deny, or attack, or gaslight.
Yes, you put it very simply. I’m not sure what causes them to be like this; there’s one guy whose answer is spot-on, where men see women literally as something to fulfill their pervy needs (they prioritize that over an actual connection)
Yes 100% women can look past looks but men I don't know I don’t think they can. They have to be physically attracted before a emotional connection. Women don’t necessarily
Perhaps herein is the issue altogether. What we refer to as pretty or ugly in connection with physical beauty is completely missing the main point which is I've seen physically astounding women whose personality made me want to vomit and women some here might call ugly that just laid me out at their feet. Shortsighted indeed!
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7 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Most guys want either a physically beautiful woman with good personality, or nothing. Lol. Makes me cringe
Also I think with age this wears down. But guys that are of age 16-30 still are shallow enough to pick the beautiful woman over the ugly one even if they have the same personality and looks with the guy
In order to not have to internalize their own mess. See this is the entire folly of this approach. You don't have to give an account for me and is your entire logic then, they won't so me neither? How dumb can we be and still breathe? The Apocolypse around the corner everyone sees but few acknowledge? It comes for us all and that will be a very focused and personal event. Js...
I don't know you, but you sound pretty shallow if you ask me.
People are allowed to be attracted to ask out anyone they want. I think the fact that you judge them makes you uglier than they could ever be.
I would date a woman I didn't automatically find attractive if their personality was awesome because people are more than just what they look like. They might even surprise you.
And reality check, looks don't last. We all age.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
It’s not surprising to me how the least shallow men I know are the ones that are older than 30 years old.
Most shallow men are the ones between 15-25 years old. And I think that is something so obvious and can’t be denied
But you have to realize women can be just as shallow. Both of us are capable of doing it. I'm not saying men are just shit. Humans are shit and expect way more than they deserve
I dont, Im ugly and, I dont expect any women to like me but, I think entitlement goes both ways because on dating apps there are way more men than women so women have an excuse to be pickier. This allows women to raise their standards extremely high and it doesn't matter what the girl looks like she could be a 5/10 or overweight and unattractive and will still expect at minimum a 7/10.
Would you ever date a girl who has an amazing personality, but is physically unattractive or overweight? Or do you prefer the girl who has an “okay” personality (not good, not bad) who is also hot as hell? You have an equal chance for both.
No, Im not attracted to overweight women or women, I wouldn't find attractive but, I wouldn't go for "hot" women either because they are out of my league so, I try and go after average women but, I have given up because, Im too ugly.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but you named yourself.
If you’re ugly, why are you going for women who are more attractive than you are? Why not stick to women who are as attractive as you? Do you see these women as “undateable”?
You said it. “I’m not attracted to them but every guy is different...” it’s strange how every guy says that but still has the same standards towards women.
Lol I don't know why you still avoid my original point but anyways. I already tested this out with you and I’ll continue doing it. There’s like 1 in 1000 men who actually notice unfairness of the situation, and they actually settle for a woman who is equal to him physical wise.
I’m sure there are, as well. I’m not saying it’s absolutely impossible for men to see past looks.
I’m saying that the vast majority actually prefer a woman who is more attractive than they are- they won’t settle for equal attractiveness. This is my point.
Yet you won’t settle for a woman who’s equally attractive? That’s what you said a few comments ago I believe. But what I’m trying to ask you is why won’t you settle for a woman who’s equally attractive (if you did have a chance with her). I’m not saying she will be uglier or more attractive. I’m saying equally attractive
Im so ugly that no women could ever be physically attracted to me :( . Im disgusting, Im an ugly abomination, a curse on this world my face is just a big joke :(
Oh my god. Can you please just answer my question? It’s a hypothetical situation. You say you’re ugly yet you think the only women you can date are the ones who are more attractive than yourself. This means you’re as picky as the women who reject / overlook you
Really?, a few comments ago you said you’re not attracted to less attractive women than yourself, and now you’re saying it’s impossible to lower your standards further. This insinuates that more attractive women are the only possible women you’d be able to date.
This shallowness, this not being able to see past looks is what keeps you from meeting women. It’s not because you’re ugly; take it from a female point of view.
But no girl could find me physically attractive or be physically attracted to me its impossible and you cannot create attraction you either are or are not.
Its true, Im trying to learn to accept it, it is why girls are rude and cold to me even though, Im polite and kind and why girls say, Im cute instead of handsome or hot, cute = ugly.
You’re literally the stereotypical “Nice Guy” of our culture. It doesn’t mean you’re nice. Just guys who continuously put themselves down call themselves nice guys because they think women prefer assholes over nice guys. Which isn’t true. Most women would love to date a guy with a good personality, but a guy who calls himself nice guy is most often simply desperate for attention. And definitely not very nice
I didn't say, I was nice and, I am legitimately kind and polite because of the way, I was raised not because, I expect girls to like me for which, I already said, I dont expect girls to like me because they dont.
I don't know about expect, but it seems a given that a guy would WANT to date a hot girl. Though this guy just kind of seems the bitter type who would rather bemoan his lot in life than work on improving his situation.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
But think about it. The desire to date a hot girl is more linked to having sex with her than actually getting to know her.
I’d like you to read “1995ALEX1995”’s answer and give me your opinion?
For the most part I'd agree with him. But even what he's talking about in terms of what the guy ought to do is largely under the pretense of getting girls to like him, or at least to be a decent guy. You can be assured based on what he's said that he's the type whose motives of getting laid with a hot girl wouldn't change even were he to work on improving himself by making himself, as "1995ALEX1995" says "nicer, funnier, and more interesting." Whether that's true or not his being upset seems to be rooted in bitterness and a sense of entitlement. I have no way of knowing whether or not he's genuinely ugly in person but he's certainly shown himself to be a bit of a self-righteous/self-entitled ahole. I imagine he's the sort that, even if he were good looking... very few would ever choose to hang around him.
In fact that image is probably from the r/niceguys subreddit, nothing wrong with trying to date someone better looking than you but it goes a bit far when it turns into attempted pity sex lol
Cuz they're thirsty :3 i'm told to be good looking n i don't really care if a girl who wants to date me is unattractive (i don't mean like aliens), as long as she truly loves me
everyone wants better. as less is negative. equal is neutral, but better is positive. a plus point. a development. ugly girls want Handsome boys. and ugly boys want pretty girls.
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3 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Weird, because every single male that I’ve talked to and is dating a girl has a hot or non-ugly girlfriend.
difference in opinion isn't a rare thing at all. My thoughts come from my experience and environment. while your thoughts come from your experience and environment.
lets say, all males that you talk with, have high attractiveness. And all the women have different attractiveness levels, thus dating males of different attractiveness levels.
The fact that you have yet to see it is evidence of your blindness, Scroll through the questions; it's a reoccurring theme. One does not "deserve" to be confident, and more than one "deserves" to be left-handed. And I'm hardly the "erfect example" of the guy in your question, since I don't meet the second criteria you mentioned. I have no expectation of dating pretty girls. Most think i'm ugly, though; so you're half right. ;)
Lol, again- you’re saying ugly girls have a false sense of entitlement. This is why I put you as an example. Because you think ugly girls “overestimate” themselves. That right there, is you underestimating their worth.
Their worth is precisely the same as the "ugly guys" in your question. I'm only holding up a mirror, to show it's not about men, but about a sense of entitlement.
I see this question all the time and they always use the word "expect" thats not true, hope is a more accurate word, thats like if i ask do people "expect" to win the lottery? Not really they hope to
Biologically speaking, we are designed to seek the best mate to pass along or genes. By having the best specimens breed, a species orlineage gross stronger. Basic evolution.
Also this can be answer enough for why women seek attractive men as well
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13 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Let’s be honest... this is nothing but a huge excuse. And let’s face it. Men date pretty women more than women date handsome men.
Each sex has their own criteria for best mate. Your lack of understanding of evolution and biology doesn't make it any less true. The same way that i my lack of complete understanding pertaining to aviation doesn't mean air planes can't fly
Lol my lack of understanding of evolution? I know how it works. The thing is, guys also complain when women want them for their money. They think it’s an excuse.
So I guess I’ll start dating only rich guys because “evolution” right?
Actually yes. Stable and successful men would mean the easiest lie for you and your offspring. Its like the bird with the best nest winning the best mate
So you’ll never criticize women for wanting rich men then right? We got a deal? Unfortunately not all guys would be okay with this since they have double standards
I've never had an issue with men wanting only got girls, or girls only wanting rich and/or hot men. Why would i oppose what got our species this far, and likely played a large role in avoiding the near extinction event when we were still theoretically only in Africa. These preferences, of which we have no control over, is paramount for the success of our species
My point is that 99% of guys wouldn’t agree with you there my friend. This is why your answer looks absolutely hypocritical. Men tend to complain about women only wanting rich men, but then they immediately turn around and ask exclusively hot girls out.
And this is why in primitive times breeding would be more selective lmao. Each sex has their own double standards and hypocrisy when it comes to different things. I have 3 main criteria for myself; we have chemistry and I enjoy her personality, is not an eye sore (doesnt need to be hot or anything), and ideally is more intelligent than me (which shouldn't be hard lol). That is essentially a wishlist, stint think it makes me hypocritical, but for the 99% as you put it, they are only accountable to themselves and will get what they ask for one way or another
You can't change people from being who they are. I sure hope I'm not shallow, and if I'm not then i hope there is some woman that isn't a good digger. Just because the majority is one way doesn't mean everyone else is
How can you ask these questions? If you're unattractive and wouldn't date an unnatractive girl yourself, how can you expect an unnatractive girl to want to date You? That's just dumb
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Anonymous(25-29)
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