I'm latina and I'm obsessed with men with blonde hair and blue eyes. Do I sound like a self hating latina?

I have a thing being obsessed with white guys with blonde hair and blue eyes , its getting to be too much where I'm unable to sleep at night. Chris Martin from Coldplay is definitely what my ideal blonde/blue eyed type is , same for the guys from the show Vikings. I don't know the reason behind being obsessed but all I know both my paternal / maternal grandfathers had blonde hair and have colored eyes , same for my father being a blonde. My first relationship was with a white guy. I realized white men always found me attractive than my own kind. I really dont find dark features in men physically or romantically attracted , its a reason why I've been single because I will never settle for less than what I truly deserve , I will fight till I get what I want. I guess you can say im attracted to what im surrounded by. That's how it is with me. I'm extremely obsessed as well with Scandinavian and British culture. My dream is to marry a white American guy that has blonde hair and blue eyes with Scandinavian or British ancestry. I really want my children to have blonde hair and colored eyes. I believe I could possibly carry those traits as my family has colored eyes and blonde hair plus my father and his father and my mothers father were all blondes which I take pride. I dont deny being latina but I do feel ashamed being around my kind , most of them act pretty ghetto and uneducated. Being around white people makes me feel more accepted and superior , there's less drama around them too.
I'm latina and I'm obsessed with men with blonde hair and blue eyes. Do I sound like a self hating latina?
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