Where would you draw the line with friends of the opposite gender when in a relationship?

When you're in a relationship, where should you draw the line with your friends of the opposite gender?

Where would you draw the line with friends of the opposite gender when in a relationship?
  • You shouldn't have friends of the opposite gender
    Vote A
  • Hanging out in groups
    Vote B
  • Texting/calling
    Vote C
  • Hanging out 1 on 1
    Vote D
  • Going to each other's houses
    Vote E
  • Spending the night at each other's house
    Vote F
  • All of these are fine
    Vote G
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I would draw the line where it'd be an action I wouldn't do with a male friend. The exception is a hug hello or goodbye. Male friends wouldn't rest their head on my shoulder, cuddle or flirt with me (non-joking sense) so I wouldn't let that happen with a female friend. Spending nights would be fine if the girl I was dating was cool with it but I wouldn't share a bed.

    Though all of this does depend on the situation and who your significant other is and what she's comfortable with. I feel like this is something that varies from relationship to relationship, and depends on the people in it. There needs to be discussions about boundaries within that relationship if it is to ever work out. Sometimes people are uncomfortable about things due to insecurities of their own and may need confirmation that you and your friend of the opposite gender are in fact that just friends and nothing more.

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  • I choose the "spending the night at friends house", but when i think about it.. actually all of them are fine because if you can't trust your partner, your relationship won't last that long

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I picked staying at their house but then thought if it was a house party with other people I wouldn't mind, or if they were stuck in their area and couldn't get home then they'd have the possibility of staying.
    So I didn't think that one through properly 😂 I guess I wouldn't mind if they had a valid reason other than "yea (s) he's invited me over to stay just on my own"

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  • I wouldn't draw any lines. People have lives outside of you. What kinda insecure, toxic, controlling kinda fuck you gotta be to not let people have friends?

    If anyone ever trys to limit my access to my friends they're the ones getting cut right the fuck outta my life.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I find all of the options being fine, and I'm very much okay with my boyfriend doing any of these with his female friends.

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    • Its all down to trust , but there's no accounting for human & normal feelings. Its acting on them thats f××ked up. If a bod does have those feelings then respect ur partner, friend & ur own morals & principals & chill the bloody hell back

  • I voted hanging out one on one. I've done that before when I was dating somebody but I would not go too much further than that and I would never bring a guy I wasn't dating over time my house unless it was a church party where there was a mixture of men and woman and a lot of them were at my house at the same time and my parents were there to watch everything that was happening. I also won't go to a guy's house unless there are people other than him in the home such as parents or siblings or aunts and uncles or friends

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  • Your life is your own, your boundaries are not written in stone... ooo bars. Got that poem out of nowhere. ehmmm, sorry. Friends of a different gender are people you learn and grow with. No sexual tension and no foolish talk.
    That arrange from anything both feel comfortable with. As long as its not sexual or talking shit.

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  • I'd normally stop at going to each other's houses, but my girlfriend loves to sleep over at her male friends house. It made me a little jealous at first, but I don't think she's the type to cheat and I'm a strong believer that controlling what someone does won't stop them from cheating or enable their cheating.

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    • I'm not saying she's cheating but thats too much

    • I don't see the problem personally. As long as she isn't cheating then it seems okay to me. They're close friends who live over an hour apart and rarely get to see each other.

  • Most probably all of the available options are fine dear Sensual Quinoa depending on the situation of course. I will give you an example, but before let me say that the following two could be a bit risky:
    -Spending the night at each other's house
    -Going to each other's houses
    I have had a friend from the other gender while in a relationship. My ex girlfriend was mature enough to understand how it use to work out between us as for I did not have any feeling for my friend. She used to sleep over at my place, on the other bed in my bedroom. We have never felt any intimate tension. It was like having a guy friend over. She also became really close to my ex girlfriend and used to hang out a lot with her (I was getting kind of jealous too :-P ).
    Maybe my ex was an exception, maybe my friend was an exception, I am not really sure.
    What I am pretty sure of, is the trust you both have for each others. For instance, if for a second I would have developed something for my friend, then I would have to sit down and talk to myself.

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  • If you know your SO has friends this close but you expect them to drop all ties to them, you're absolutely ridiculous. Mater of fact if you can't even trust your SO around friends they've most likely had longer than you, why are you even in a relationship with them. They didn't ask you to come into their life and be dictatorial about who they can and can't talk to or can and can't hang out with.

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  • If you're in a relationship you should probably just be straight up with your partner about what you do with your opposite sex friends so they understand

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  • I went to a college that was mostly guys so most of my friends were guys and many of them were in relationships and I’m single. Most of them, I’ve met their girlfriends before and their girlfriends didn’t seem to mind me hanging out with them 1 on 1, or we all just hang out in a group. No one made a big deal out of it.

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  • As long as it's all platonic, I don't care. I'm not an insecure teenager who feels the need to control her partner. If you can't trust your partner there's either a problem with yourself, or with your partner, or with your relationship as a whole.

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  • Depends on the relationship, at a bare minimum, the line itself would be “communication and understanding one another” that is the line itself, gotta know... many of these types of challenges is because people don’t honestly say how they feel and instead guess and assume, it’s really maddening, you gotta be able to honestly say how you feel to a friend or “more than a friend” both should be able to handle it

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  • U cannot draw the line as there is not definite characteristic.

    Each one should its own limit and what they are doing and why. And if they cannot answer the question, ask for other aka elders not ur. stupid friends that has zero wisdom.

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  • Anything that is weird with guy friends like holding hands. But not necessarily. Spending night over is okay if it's with my ex roomy but not with any girl I talk to. That's just not done. Hanging out one on one can be okay if she is a really nice friend, like my neighbor or someone from the class. But anything more than that means more than friendship.

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  • I think up to going to each other's houses is ok if you're really close, but also consider if your boyfirend is insecure about them or not, but I think sleeping over is not ok unless you live with your boyfriend and you are all friends

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  • I do change the relationship with my male friends when I'm in a relationship or them. We still call and text but not as much. If we go to each other's houses, the significant other is with this and the same for hanging out. I don't exclude my SO from my friends, usually try to introduce them so we all can hangout.

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  • If I were in a relationship, I would only hang out with my female friends and call/text them if need be. Why? If I had a partner, those are the only things I'd be comfortable with her doing with her male friends. Thus, I must hold myself to the same standards.

    And since I'd have those boundaries if I were in a relationship, I'll have them at all times. Otherwise, it might hurt my female friends if the boundaries suddenly changed when I got into a relationship. It's best to stay consistent.

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  • Anything non-platonic.
    And by non-platonic, I mean anything that I wouldn't do with that person.

    That being said, I would personally refrain from any friendly interaction with females other than my partner.
    I don't expect that of my partner, if they truly believe their friendships are wholly platonic and healthy in spite of our relationship, then I'm going to take their word for it.
    But I personally don't have the capacity to trust friends to such an extent.

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  • All fine depending on the situation. It's hard to have a blanket this is acceptable, this isn't mindset because every person is different

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  • I would particularly drawn the line at the going to each other´s house , but i think staying at the opposite gender for the night could potentially be dangerous specially if the other person gave some hints of being interested.

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  • No cheating, obviously. For the rest just the same as being in a friendship with someone of the same gender.

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  • Hanging out in groups is fine. They shouldn't be making new opposite gender friends once in a relationship.

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  • If i did have an opposite vender friend.. I would draw the line if he talks about my body, if he tries to get me to break up , if he talks bas about my boyfriend etc

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  • I've never understood the logic behind not having friends of the opposite gender when you're in a relationship? Like, why? Sounds like you're isolating yourself from the world. Lame.

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  • As long as you're no kissing or being overly affectionate (like close cuddling, sleeping in the same bed, kissing, etc) it's all fine

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  • Everything except staying the night there would be fine, if I knew him well and I knew that it was just friendly.. some guys pretend to be friendly just to get close and I realize the rebuttle to that is well it doesn't matter if she doesn't want that. K fine but doesn't mean I have to trust this person alone with my women when I know he's up to no good

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  • They were ur friends b4 & unfortunately poss after. If he can't take u & the way u r towards others then he's not completely happy with u & maybe implement a case where u slip away from ur friendships through that. Talk frankly with him & be open & honest , see what he has 2 say it may or may not be written in the stars. Hope it goes well whatever you decide.

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  • I think that they are all fine lol When you both know that you are just friends then I don't see anything wrong with it...

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  • It really depends on the friend and even more on relationship. For me tge line is formulated like this - i dont do anything i would have to hide from my partner.

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  • all are fine. guy friends are the same as girl friends. as long as you both want to be JUST friends

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  • all of it is fine so long as the relationship is platonic

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  • I would draw the line at spending the night, but even that would be ok if it's like a sleepover with many people, or if it's some sort of emergency/you have to do it. If all of these can be done with friends of the same gender, then what's the difference when it's someone of the opposite gender? You're not automatically attracted to each other just because you're of the opposite sex. As long as the intentions are purely platonic, I don't see how doing any of the above things is bad or wrong. It's when the intentions are wrong (i. e. looking for someone to replace your partner in some way, be it emotionally or physically) that all of the above become wrong or bad. If there are no ill intentions and you're just friends, and you're both capable of respecting the relationship between your partner and you, none of the above things are problematic or harmful to the relationship.

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  • Depends on the mood and situation, sometimes talk breezily, other times as seductively as possible.

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  • Um, don't cheat. Two people of the opposite sex can just be purely friends. All of the options listed are fine.

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  • Hanging out 1 on 1 and going to each other's houses is a recipe for disaster. Ultimately, if your significant other is uncomfortable with what you're doing then you shouldn't do it.

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  • Depends on how the friend behaves.

    If the friend is actively trying to get in your pants when they know you have a bf: cut off all contact.

    If the friend is rude/disrespectful to your bf: cut off all contact.

    If you know the friend has a crush on you: avoid being alone with them. Definitely don’t go to their house alone.

    Don’t prioritize your friends above your boyfriend. If he asks you to go out on a date first he has first dibs... your friend can’t come along later & get you to change your plans with your boyfriend.

    Avoid doing stuff that makes your boyfriend think you are shady. For example texting male friends all the time & hiding texts from your boyfriend is a real bad idea.

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  • Definitely draw the line at raw-dog sex, no more than three times a day. More than that, and it's questionable.

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  • going to each other's houses alone. I would draw the line there

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  • If you’re just friends why should it matter? Why control them because you’re insecure?

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  • I don't draw the line. I enjoy the company of women under any circumstance. They can friend or lover I never get tired of their company !!!

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  • Just don't try to have sex or kissing... at this moment i stop everything, we are friend best friends i love that stays like that !

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  • All of these are fine.
    BUT you may care about managing your SO's feelings or insecurities if any.

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  • If you are not cheating on your SO everything here is perfectly fine. The line is when you start cheating.

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  • I’m cool with pretty much all - except that overnight at each other’s house thing. That won’t fly... lol

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  • Though my opinion depends if the other person is a very old and trusted friend of mine, I wouldn't mind staying

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  • I'm comfortable with everything up until they're going to each other's houses 1 on 1.

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  • This is why I hate relationships. Too many constructions.

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  • There is no such thing as friends of the opposite sex

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  • Things I wouldn't do with my male friends. So all of these are alright.

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  • I'd say marriage. But it wasn't on the Opinion poll.

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  • None of these are bad. If there is genuinely only friendship, it doesn't matter.

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  • Simple answer:
    Dont try to have sex with opposite gender friends.

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