+1 yI know this is an unpopular opinion, but I feel sorry for them.
Sure, their comments about women are terrible, and I do not justify their actions. With that being said, what if you were rejected by a gender your entire life? You would probably want to shame that gender too. I'm sure most of these guys weren't always this bitter. Chances are, they were the smart/nerdy guys who were rejected, because they weren't popular, and are now raging against women.
Loneliness isn't something to shame, or mock at. Loneliness has a sitgma attached to it for some reason, and it pities me to see some comments on it.79 Reply- +1 y
Here's my problem with these people & I've only just realized this about myself & from this point forward am working on this myself. These "nice guys", incels, etc. Is they only go after women for sex. (Which they claim assholes do, but they are literally only going after women they find attractive.) Personality, common interests, & what you can provide or bring to the table is what should matter instead. I generally feel I'm an actual nice person, just a little jaded in my thought process & how I view relationships & how my mind works. These men instead of complaining & blaming other people need to self reflect as I have & figure out what is wrong with them & improve themselves, like I am trying to do. It is nobodie's fault, but mine that I'm a 26 year old virgin, who's never really been in a relationship or even kissed a girl/woman. Until that day, these people will remain alone in their lives until they do what is needed. I don't feel sorry for them, they do it to themselves.
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"I know this is an unpopular opinion..."
It's strange that compassion for people who are mistaken is unpopular, isn't it? I admire your compassion, OliviaDenny2000. My brother works with people who have been rejected all their lives, but they never turned down the road of violence and hating the opposite sex. Perhaps because my brother never mocks them.
"Loneliness isn't something to shame..."
AMEN!!! And you know this at 18, when I've seen people on GAG twice your age who mock them, mistakenly thinking they're going to shock them into action. - +1 y
@DeadRosesWithWine
"I've only just realized this about myself & from this point forward am working on this myself"
Bravo! What made you decide to do it? - +1 y
@Bluemax Many factors take a role in it, traumatic events such as one of my best friends killing himself, friendships between people I cared about deeply that ended in a way I wish they didn't, & losing a lot of friends I had, because I chose to associate myself with bad people to help out a friend that became a love interest that ended on a very bad note.
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Giving this demographic any sort of attention is just giving them what they want. It's why they go on mass killing sprees and spread hatred. They're so discontent with their lives that they become totally immersed in some sort of illusive fantasy. I would be inclined to agree that they are a product of our exclusive society.
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@DeadRosesWithWine Keep in mind, not everyone's situation is the same. Some guys truly are screwed over for being nice, or many other reasons.
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Believe me I know what you mean. I had a friend that pretended to be my friend, yes initially when I befriended her it was because I thought she was absolutely gorgeous, but eventually we became really good friends & fell in love with her kind hearted & sweet personality, only to find out months later, after spending money on her, buying her gifts, etc. That she just wanted to use me & that I was just a joke to her basically.
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As someone who never had a girlfriend, was rejected my whole life, and ended up as lonely as a steak at a vegan party, I thank you for your comment.
Sure, I'm not as hateful and bitter as them, but let's say the fair sex didn't leave me a good taste.
People find funny that people can't have a girlfriend, seeing them rejected is subject to mockery. That makes it even worse for them, because the world suddenly look against them while they did nothing wrong.
And that is a terrible blow to confidence. You end up thinking that if everyone mocks you, then you're probably a terrible human being.
I know it because it went like that for me. As a child I was extremely friendly, anyone talking to me was my friend. Then people started mocking me, I was ginger, I wasn't exactly the most good looking child. At first that made me angry, then shy, then totaly lonely. People don't mesure how much what they consider a "joke" is hurtful. Especially when everyone repeat it, for years.
I understand those guys. - +1 y
Most Helpful Opinions
+1 yI think its scary and kinda sad that these men turn all spiteful for not being able to get a woman. While I agree, there are women out there that suck, there's no need to think rape or murder is the way to go.
84 Reply- +1 y
Just pointing out, judging an entire community based on the notion that a single member did something horrible, and got media attention for it, is not exactly an honest thing to do.
Case in point: The SCUM manifesto.
The funny thing is that this book is STILL incredibly popular with feminists. It was written by Valerie Solanas, who later went on to kill Andy Warhol. I could make a case against the entire feminist movement based on this single person, and the fact that people are TO THIS DAY backing her views. - +1 y
@Benedek38 Andy Warhol died of cardiac arrhythmia.
That said, you pretty much missed the whole point of what she was saying by providing the old addage of "not all men do this".
Boring. - +1 y
@Cyhhgg
1) Warhol's gunshot wounds apparently contributed to complications during the surgery. In a way, that's being instrumental to his death. But I admit, I was mistaken. That beinf said, intent to kill shows character flaws, regardless of whether the killing was successful.
2) "you pretty much missed the whole point of what she was saying by providing the old addage of "not all men do this"."
Except I didn't. She said:
"I think its scary and kinda sad that these men turn all spiteful for not being able to get a woman. While I agree, there are women out there that suck, there's no need to think rape or murder is the way to go."
Not only are not all incels like that - actually the vast majority of them aren't. Fun fact: chances are you were an incel at some point in your life. Inceldom is not defined by discontent for women.
I am resentful of my own lack of success in dating. I qualify as an incel. And you calling me names is not fair in the very least - you don't know me.
Sad situation. There is no excuse for violence.
At the same time, it would be good if we as a society recognized that a lot of men (of all ages) lack guidance when it comes to the opposite sex. Men have to take a pretty active role when it comes to dating, and a lot of men are either not learning what that entails, or are being fed poor quality information.11 Reply- +1 y
Yes!
All children should be taught positive ways to deal with rejection; unless you're very lucky, it's a fact of life, whether with friends, jobs or the opposite sex.
In general, you can expect a long line of rejecttions, before you find your place, and probably a few where you thought you had, but hadn't.
It's not always clear that it's OK to reject other people (gently), as well. You know it will hurt them, but if they've have been taught to deal with it, it won't be too bad.
- 319 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yI find it tragic but also understandable to some extent. It's always a personality issue and it's so frustrating hearing them all complain about looks when 90% of the ones I have seen aren't ugly at all
43 Reply- +1 y
I couldn't agree more.. most of the ones that identify with this culture are not bad looking dudes.
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@bacca400 I am sure that is an issue as well but If we had to pin point the major issues with these men it would be social awkwardness and mental issues. They can't function normally around women and maybe anyone for that matter. Just look up some of these guys on You Tube. After listening for a few minutes you can tell immediately.
What Girls & Guys Said
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51Opinion
1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic. I believe that they can be potentially dangerous people who need to be dealt with accordingly. I believe that many mistakenly believe they can't find intimacy with a woman due to circumstances beyond their control, without realizing that in most cases it is very much *within* their control. I believe that probably due to learned hopelessness they think that they can do nothing to better themselves and their situation. In most cases, they are profoundly wrong.
The question remains what to do about them. Well, this is something my brother has dealt with quite a bit (more on that later). I'm actually vehemently against anti-hate speech laws, as they are, I believe, an unnecessary limit on free speech. Rather, I believe that men can make themselves good role models, and men and women alike can encourage them to improve themselves. I would be very interested to know about the fathers of these incels. Something tells me they were men who could use some improvement themselves.
Now, where I part company with *many* people on GAG is that many feel they can just name call and insult them into action. By calling them pieces of shit, or garbage, or pathetic losers, they somehow believe that they are being brutally honest and this will make them see the error of their ways.
I almost hate to think people could be so foolish.
Firstly, I think that people who use those terms are dishonest in that they often don't really believe it will help. They are using those terms because they're exasperated and annoyed. Secondly, overwhelmingly those terms will just make people more defensive and unwilling to listen. If you don't understand this, you're profoundly mistaken.
Now interestingly, my brother has been working with incels decades before the term became widespread. He has counseled people with disabilities, who for various reasons haven't experienced intimacy. All of them are repelled by this recent eruption of violence. All. This leads me to think that for every one Elliot Roger, there are hundreds of guys who can't find a mate who don't kill, and who never will. They just go about their lives as best they can. The guys on reddit and 4chan and other web sights are, I believe, a very vocal minority... but it troubles me they seem to be growing.15 Reply- +1 y
I am a buckeye and to become a dating coach you have to be very unlucky LOL.
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I am in the Nati.. and I wouldn't say there are any specific qualifications but you need to know what your doing... so lot's of practice on my part for the last 10 years. It's just like anything.
- 723 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yINCEL is nothing new. It's been around since the beginning of humanity. What's new is that now people have a forum (the Internet) to whine and complain about it. The Internet has the ability to take every little thing and amplify it far beyond what it deserves. Then it builds on itself. This INCEL and MGTOW stuff would not be happening if not for the Internet.
This is also about the modern entitlement attitude. Everyone seems to think they somehow deserve things, like it's supposed to be automatically given to them. This applies to a whole lot more than just INCEL.
Something that just popped in my head. I think I'm going to add porn to this. Among other things, it gives these guys an outside-looking-in feeling - more than they already had. The are reminded over and over again, at the click of a button, what they are missing out on. Again, the Internet. Not long ago that wasn't even possible.
People today voice such strong opinions against labeling and stereotypes. But I swear people today are dramatically more into labels than any time in the past. People want to label everyone else, and they want to label themselves. They want to be in some category, as if that gives them identity. They want to be INCEL. They want to be MGTOW. They want to be bi, or demi, or pan, or CIS. They even want their very own pronouns to go along with it. It's like people today don't even know who they are unless they find the right word, the right label.. "Me" doesn't seem to be enough any more.
To INCEL or not to INCEL, that is the question. To INCEL? OK, now go start killing people.
There have been INCELs since forever. There have been MGTOWs forever. The difference is that now they are proactive about it. They seem to think that women MUST accept them, date them, take them to bed. This is just one of the many facets of entitlement. If they don't get what they are entitled to, they throw a temper tantrum.
Last but not least. People need to get away from the god damned computer or mobile device. They need to go out in the real world. Get some exercise instead of letting all that pent up energy build up until it explodes. Humans aren't made to sit on their ass all day. They need to go out and run a marathon, or do some physical labor. Then they'll be too tired to go out shooting people.
One last thing. They are going about it wrong. But these INCEL and MGTOW guys do have some valid points. People really should listen instead of totally writing them off.10 Reply
+1 yA bunch of guys that think they're entitled to something that they are not. A bunch of guys who want the hottest chick but have no self esteem or any other qualities that a hot chick would want. A bunch of guys that are too lazy to workout and train and have a better body and life and think they should just have everything because they're entitled to do so. A bunch of guys that think to be happy they need a woman instead of being happy with themselves and that it happens naturally. A bunch of guys that have no dreams no real career goals they just have jobs with no aspirations for anything better then just dead end nothing. A bunch of guys that probably should have played a little bit more Sports when they were younger so they learned how to lose without being a pansy and taking it out on everyone. These kind of people need to get over themselves Society does not give a flying fuck about them. If you want to stand out in the world do something that the world wants and then all of that other socioeconomic stuff falls into place but they don't teach people this in school they're more worried about teaching them how to choose their gender and pronouns another useless fucking bullshit that means absolutely nothing in the real world. These guys have left high school and University being taught by liberal-left bullshit pansies that couldn't make it in the real world and now they're ruining these people by teaching them the same garbage because they are the same. These are the guys that cannot fight their own fight.
30 ReplyIt's nothing new. In the past there's evidence that shows that 80% of women managed to reproduce while only 40% of men did. Some say that today when it comes to sex 80% of women have sex with 20% of men - that isn't backed up by any solid evidence but there have been studies done for example on sites like OKCupid where women rated 80% of the men there as being below average in terms of attractiveness, perhaps that's where that statistic comes from, and the idea that only 1 in 5 men can get laid regularly isn't that hard to believe.
This is one of the reasons for the introduction of monogamous marriage in modern civilisation. In order to incentivise the bottom 60-80% of men to become more productive they created the agreement for each men to have only one wife, thus giving those men who otherwise would have no sexual access, sexual access and the ability to have a family. Without that they wouldn't feel any real need to contribute to that society - one of the biggest motivations to do so would be to ensure a good life for their children - which they wouldn't care about if they didn't have any.
Cultures with more monogamous marriages became more cohesive as a result of this. Those that loosened sexual morals and freed women from the expectation of marriage lost that cohesion and eventually either got invaded or collapsed, especially since many of the men just abandoned that civilisation.
Also, many of those men without sexual access would become violent and lash out at that society. Men are naturally more aggressive - that aggression can either be used for good (protecting the women, children, society as a whole) or bad (destroying it). Take away their ability to have sex, relationships, families etc. and it goes bad.
That's not a justification, it just is what it is. It's human nature. Always has been and always will be.20 Reply
+1 yThey didn't volunteer, they were drafted.
And it could VERY EASILY happen to YOUR son.
Every generation, a new crop of happy bouncing baby boys is born, and their mommies love them very much and want nothing but happiness and love for them, but we all know how it goes, some kids have all the good luck, some have all the bad luck, and most are in the middle somewhere. These guys are the happy bouncing baby boys who are growing up to discover that they won't get to experience the good things in life, they are here to work a crappy job and die alone, and that feeling of hopelessness and self-disgust is a horrific war that they wage in their mind every day, and most of them feel like they're losing ground steadily, and the only thing that could help them, the love and understanding and support of other people, and good friendship and fellowship and community, is the one thing that is always DENIED to them, and whether that's their fault, everybody else's fault, or nobody's fault, the fact is it's sad but true.
These people are clawing their fingernails out against a concrete prison screaming in agony for the tiniest little show of love and affection, they're starved of it. If you have no sympathy for them, or if you actively despise them for some perceived crime on their part, I think you're being a straight up shithead for real. That's all.
These people are some mother's babies, and they're fucking drowning and nobody will help them. Fuck YOU if you feel like it's your job to make them feel worse. I know there are many people who like to hurt and humiliate these people for fun. You'll be held to account for every bit of it, plus interest.21 Reply- +1 y
"These people are clawing their fingernails out against a concrete prison screaming in agony for the tiniest little show of love and affection, they're starved of it"
I think you're right. Where we may differ is that I believe in most cases it is a prison of their own making. And can we agree that screaming in agony, while very understandable (even inevitable sometimes), is unproductive?
Like you, I believe in showing sympathy even for people who are fucking their own lives, but that sympathy isn't infinite, nor should it be.
So other than showing sympathy, what else can be done?
391 opinions shared on Dating topic. There's a related article, here: http://www.BBC.co.uk/news/stories-43956366 "'I'm sad that I didn't have sex until I was 37'"
"One of the things that most worries me about the publicity around the Toronto attack is that people who are still looking for love may feel stigmatised and have a sense of shame.
It might perpetuate the idea that people who have yet to find love are socially awkward and in some way weird. I felt I was perfectly normal before I found my wife and I was perfectly normal after - I didn't change. There is nothing unusual about me.
There are plenty of people looking for love who are not hate-filled. It would be a shame if we conflated whatever drove the Toronto attacker with people looking for a human need.
There is no right or entitlement to being loved or finding love, but looking for love is still a valid wish in life. Not having love is not anybody's fault, it's just circumstances."20 ReplyThis is what happens when schools and society put girls before boys for over 30 years straight. In schools, little boys can't even chew their pop tarts into the shape of a gun or they will get expelled. Then we see this constant talk about how girls and women are soooo oppressed.
Well, as a man, I can tell you nobody ever gave two fucks about me as a child... ever. I had feminist teacher's tell me to my face to stop trying because I'm stupid. Do you have any idea what that does to a 12-year-old? It makes them give up completely. Meanwhile, girls get all these special programs where they can learn without the boys being around. Then there are the boy scouts, which got sued into oblivion by feminists and now they are required to let girls into all aspects of the boy scouts.
Why is this so difficult for people to understand? You can't have strong men if you keep telling them to be like girls and shaming their natural male tendencies. You feminists need to fuck off and stop abusing my little bros. You cunts.32 Reply- 1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yI have a coworker like this. He spends all his time playing video games, talks about how he doesn't even bother having dating apps on his phone, etc.
He's an obese slob with a bad haircut and an overgrown gross beard. I tried to talk to him about getting to a gym and working out, playing only 5 hours of games a week, etc. He wasn't interested.
My impression? Most of these guys are either burnt from bad relationships (these guys I feel sorry for, they need some alone time and some good hobbies and friends and some gym and yoga classes) or they are pathetic losers who won't put in the needed work (they can go die of drug overdose for all I care).
getting a woman is like getting a job. You gotta make your resume the best you can, work to make it good, and then get it to as many employers as possible.
You don't want to work to improve your resume, you don't want to apply, or risk rejection at interviews? Well, life's tough. Some people can't cut it.
10 Reply - 709 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yI have only read Elliot's "My twisted world", as recommended by my friends, to learn English.
I find it among the most brilliant black comedies I've read. It's too bad that it is not ironic.
img.4plebs.org/.../1452655407155.png
genius.com/Elliot-rodger-my-twisted-world-the-story-of-elliot-rodger-part-6-3-annotated
The main character's worldview is hilarious, and so tragic at a deeper level. It's a tale of a very lost boy, a KHV at 22 living in a place like Isla Vista (where almost everyone is fucking everyone else) is basically like everyday waking up to a nightmare, watching everyone around him having what he can't have, and he ended up lashing out at the world.
Sadly, he decided to kill those innocent people. He allegedly has a very shitty family and he was so lost on his path to adulthood. In the attempt of "revenge", he didn't go for the people who wronged him, instead he just killed his roommate (who probably has as much sex as he does) and some random Chads and Stacies, then himself...😒 perhaps this random element is a fitting ending to "My twisted world".
I wish I could've been his friend when he had no one to share this frustration with (just the sound of his little sister being fucked in the next room 🤔). I would try my best to convince him that some girl saying cruel things to him or his lack of sex are such frivolous and quirky parts of his life and should be treated as such (write a book about them!), but there are much more beautiful things in this world worth dying for.
I don't know anything about the INCEL thingy though, aside from it stands for Involuntary Celibacy and Elliot is considered an Incel.01 Reply- +1 y
You know, I read his manifesto. I also saw his Youtube channel and FB page before they were taken down (I was listening to NPR that day, and his name leaked out as it was happening). I gotta say, as a teacher, his manifesto is actually well written. Pity the content was crap.
As for befriending him, he *had* friends. He also had people attempting to befriend him. He drove them away.
+1 yIt's sad, as a 26 year old virgin who has chased, been friendzoned, & heartbroken by several women. I understand the pain & frustration of feeling so alone. However, that doesn't mean this is the way to go about it. It's not so much that men put pressure on ourselves, it's because of our peers. Not only are you seen as less of a man if you have less sex, but you're constantly berated & mocked if you are a virgin. I love how everyone is trying to turn this around & say it's because they have too high of standards. That simply just isn't the case at all, I for example have fallen in love with someone that many wouldn't find attractive, but her personality & how good of friends we were melded so well together, unfortunately she was out of my league, imparently. When you feel like you are the ugliest person on earth compared to other men, not only do you feel worthless, but it eats away at you. Not a day goes by, where I don't hate myself or wish I was never born. To live your life solely for the purpose of finding another mate is ridiculous, but when you are surrounded by people who are constantly happy & then are mocked for being alone by ones who are closest to you instead of trying to help, it makes life seem not worth living. All these guys in Incel who want to kill & rape women, I don't agree with that at all. I could never intentionally hurt another human being like these guys want to, no matter how much people hurt, take advantage of, or use me. (Female or not.) I couldn't do it. The whole movement & culture makes me hate myself & people like me even more. Because now this is what represents people like me. Not genuinely sweet guys who just have bad luck with women, making it even harder for me to ever find happiness. If anyone should be raped & murdered it's these fucking assholes.
24 Reply- +1 y
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Anonymous(30-35)+1 y"Misogyny at the heart of the manosphere."
Mainstream media continues to fumble and misrepresent anything politically incorrect at every turn. Imagine my surprise.
"Angry and bitter"
They're having a shit time in life. It would be weird if they weren't angry and bitter. Enduring anguish and coming out the other side with a positive attitude is not a given. Sure it would be great if they could just take everything well and cope with everything as well as people who's problems have never compared... except that would be dumb to expect that. So they're angry and bitter and now that they got attention, instead of doing something to help them we're instead going to rant about all the hate and insist that it invalidates their pain, damn them further, put them on the to-be-censored list. Don't fix the problem just cover it over, make it quiet so it can fester deeper and hurt more, good idea.
People still apparently haven't noticed that they call others sources of hate to objectify, dehumanize and mark them as a target of hate.
A dismal excuse for journalism once again.00 Reply
+1 yElliot Rodger shot seven people in 2014 and was an incel. Very recently, a man killed ten people and injured 14 in a van attack after praising Elliot Rodger and declaring an 'incel rebellion'.
Is there anything left to say?
I know not all these men are as extreme but they're still so full of resentment and spite. Mentally, I do not think these men are sound.
They can't be happy when hate consumes them.
These men are misogynistic and advocate rape and violence towards women. They'll inevitably keep this attitude for most of their life not realising that it is that same attitude holding them back.812 Reply- +1 y
And even though Elliot Rodger, and the others were sick, I do feel sorry for them in a roundabout way. Their loneliness drove them to that point (not justifying their actions at all, to make that clear).
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Very few of these men seriously advocate rape and violence. You have to understand how men think. We get frustrated with women all the time, even if we are in a relationship, and telling other men we would like to chop our girlfriend/wife up with an axe is a way some men choose to vent those frustrations. They wouldn't actually do it. The same is true for these INCEL men. They are venting their frustrations online.
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"No man is an island."
It's easy for you to focus on what's wrong with their attitude, I'd love to see what your attitude was like if you were born a beta male, always knowing that your best will never be good enough, nobody will ever want you, people don't even like being in the same room as you, and everybody would be happier if you were gone. And all because you were born looking a certain way, or because you have unpopular interests and poor social skills and maybe a bad childhood. I'd love to see how your attitude held up to that kind of life.
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@OliviaDenny2000 Agreed. I think a little empathy is good in instances like this. No matter how abhorrent their actions, they are a product of deep-rooted issues in our society. It's sad that this guy's loneliness and unstable mental health led to him take his own life and the lives of innocent people.
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@Servus09 I don't know how true that is. There is a clear difference between 'ugh, bloody women' and the incel 'movement'. The proof is in the pudding. There have been two incidents already of extremely violent behaviour. I think it's pretty obvious that these men are misogynistic. I think they're comparable to radical feminists in the sense that they have or feel that they have been treated unfairly by the opposite sex and now hates every woman/man despite who they might be as an individual. All men are rapists, pigs, entitled, etc. vs all women are money hungry, whores, unempathetic. It's sexism no matter how you look at it.
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@Bananaman177 I'm focusing on the fact that these men are most likely not mentally healthy. I could make a pretty confident bet that they are far more likely to be suicidal than the average guy. I know men that have had the same luck in life and while it gets them down they don't have the same misogynistic ideology.
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I have visualized punching my ex-girlfriend in the face. I don't recall telling my friends I would like to punch her in the face, but that sort of thing does get said. The difference is I knew that was wrong and I didn't act on my thoughts. If these men were acting out on the thoughts they put on the internet there would be a bloodbath.
I have also been on websites like 4chan where men talk about these things. For a lot of them, it's just a sick joke. You really should check it out sometime. There are even black guys on there spewing racial mixing to destroy the white race. They are lonely men and this is what happens when lonely guys come together to entertain each other. - +1 y
Right. I think some of it is extreme masculinity, and they have to be "macho" and have sex with as many girls as possible. I think there are many issues with society which causes this.
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So if their leg was fucked up, you'd have all the sympathy in the world for them, but because their brain is the problem, too bad, so sad?
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@OliviaDenny2000
It's not "extreme masculinity" or toxic masculinity. Men are just different than women. You're also missing my point. Things said on the internet are most often a way for men to vent their frustrations. I know it's not the healthiest way to vent, but it's better than actually putting those thoughts into action. Which again, if that's what men were doing, you would have actual cause for concern. In the real world (at least in the west) you're far less likely to be harmed by a stranger than a man is. That's a fact.
787 opinions shared on Dating topic. Illogical idiots.
Incel. Involuntarily Celibate.
The FACT is, pussy is available. All over the place. They say that they are being deprived sex? Bullshit. They set they standards to an unreasonable level. They are choosing to go without sex rather than go below the unreasonable standards they have set for themselves. This makes it a choice. That makes it voluntary.
Now. For the worst flaw in this logic: These pussies will cry "I am supposed to lower my standards and sleep with someone I am not attracted to?"
The exact scenario they are bitching women are putting them through. They are the worst form of hypocrites. They are loud and trying organize hypocritical. High horse hypocritical.20 Reply
+1 yIt's dangerous. I understand that as a man there's intense pressure to lose your virginity and it can feeling absolutely humiliating and demoralizing to be a kissless virgin when you don't want to be, but incels don't handle their frustration in a healthy way.
They seem to hate all women and girls (and often men who have lost their virginity) and some literally advocate rape or removing women's rights. Frequently they even use racist (referring to black men as "Tyrones" or Indians as "-pret" ) language as well.40 ReplyI think the entire concept is silly, sick and stupid, and these guys donโt have my shoulder to cry on.
916 Reply- +1 y
To elaborate; itโs certainly not something that justifies driving a van onto a crowded sidewalk and mowing down as many women as you can like an ISIS-inspired terrorist; and I hope that nutjob in Toronto gets everything thatโs coming to him. Not being able to get laid as often as youโd like is a problem every guy has to deal with. What makes them special? They came up with a word for the phenomenon, like "incel", so now itโs a disease, and they're poor sufferers of it? Some women, somewhere, owe them to give them some? Whatโs next, they want the government to declare them members of a protected minority group and require women to have sex with them once or twice a month?
Incels are pathetic, point blank. - +1 y
@sugarette Yes, they are. They themselves will tell you that. But they are also the product of our society. They remind me of the tag line of the movie about the Frankenstein's monster: "If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear!".
Most of us respect what is called "social Darwinism". This doctrine, in the end, is translated "only the strong survive". The weak, like the Incels, are thrown to the kerb.
Now I don't support or make excuses for them. I'm a Christian, and INCEL ideology conflicts with Christian principles. Also incompatible with Christian teaching, however, is how we generally treat each other. This is the real genesis of movements like INCEL.
They're our monster, our problem.
We created them, and we it is who must deal with them. - +1 y
@DchrIs78104 Like, if these guys are not getting any, and they consider that to be a problem... hanging out online with a bunch of other guys who aren't getting any and having a pity party over it together isn't going to solve the problem. They need to be doing something else, like maybe going out and meeting women. That one's a no-brainer: only someone with no brains would not think of it.
I do have sympathy for an awkward, kind man who struggles with dating. Eventually that guy will grow and learn and find a partner. But I have no sympathy for an awkward, cruel dude who struggles with basic empathy. That person is dangerous. I think most of these guys need therapy. - +1 y
@sugarette What you are talking about is individuals taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. I totally agree with you there. Incels are sadly misguided terrorists, and all terrorists deserving of execution. Yet I maintain that they're a problem modern society has created.
Incels are loth to go out and meet women. They might tell you, "I'm ugly. If I go out and meet women, they'll only insult me and drive me away." This is one of the excuses they may make. Another is that society today doesn't treat men like it should. For many men, both are true.
The mind of the INCEL is a very dark place. Only the light of love and truth can drive such darkness out. If a child is neglected or mistreated by his family, he may join a criminal gang seeking the love and respect he doesn't get at home. Unless we as humans in general learn to treat each other better than we do now, Incel ideology will continue to sway many men. - +1 y
@sugarette Unfortunately, that is an actual request Incels have made. They want the government to provide them with women for their sexual pleasure. There is no limit to their insanity.
Groups like Incels harbour misogynistic, often racist and pseudo-scientific ideology.
These ideologies are born in spite, rejection and -pain-.
I know it is hard to do when their actions, at times, are unforgivable but we need to have a little empathy.
Not sympathy, but an understanding that their way of thinking is actually understandable, though still abhorrent.
- +1 y
You don't owe anybody one bit of sympathy or compassion.
But nobody else owes you any either, don't be so quick to ration it like it was some precious thing that was gonna run out and you have to horde it all to yourself and only give it out to who YOU like.
You won't always be the lucky one, sweetheart. You'll have to depend on the kindness of strangers many times to get through this life, you'd better hope that the strangers you meet aren't broken and destroyed inside, it's just a little pro-tip. What goes around comes around. - +1 y
Again, I do have sympathy for a guy who's shy and anxious but has good intentions at heart and understands basic human decency. I know guys like this and they're pretty cool. But I don't care about guys who think women owe them sex/relationships, or guys who think it's women's fault if they can't get laid and express their frustration through misogyny and violence against women. Not every guy is attracted to me, yet you don't see me calling men selfish, whores, bitches, superficial, etc. I don't blame other people for being single either.
Also, I would never willingly talk to an incel nor befriend one, so. This is out of the question. - +1 y
So by "incel," you specifically mean the nasty ones?
I'd say less than half of all incels fall into that category. - +1 y
@sugarette The main stream media claims the incels comes from the manosphere which MRAs, MGTOW and PUA community. It's all staged crap trying to silence men. Men might be pissed off at women but in our hearts we wouldn't be able to physically hurt someone over it.
- +1 y
With respect, I think what you don't get is that many of those guys probably started out like okay boys. It's kind of traumatic to see everyone around you pair off and to find that impossible yourself. Worse still, I feel like some women don't understand this because they will literally never be in that situation. They may feel lonely, they may be with a dickhead, but women are generally a lot more comfortable reaching out than men are. And women will just always be able to find a guy to sleep with or to provide for them. Not that those guys will necessarily be good guys, and sure, women have their struggles too, but I have lived too long and seen to much to accept that in this department they are quite as screwed as many guys. Or rather: not screwed, so-to-speak.
The movement is caused by a bigger problem, namely feminism and how men are treated as a whole in modern society. We've almost done a full 180, and instead of having equality, feminism has created inequality. Men are becoming the oppressed sex, so it's not surprising to see some groups pop up from it. This is the first I hear of this group, but it really doesn't surprise me given how men are treated these days. People can scream mysogony all they want, but at the end of the day, groups like these wouldn't exist if they didn't have to.
10 Reply446 opinions shared on Dating topic. I think this is a symptom of larger problem. Our society on the whole is sick. People are so messed up, they have mental health issues and drug problems stemming from how messed up life is. A lot of these guys don't have anyone around them to keep them tethered to reality. People left alone for long periods of time go crazy. That's why solitary confinement is a punishment.
70 ReplyTotally legitimate in origin because women have an unfairly great power in dating and because they lie about what they pretend to desire in a man.
But turning this state of suffering into a culture seems odd to me. If they go check PUA culture, they can start finding answers, even tough the road ahead of them is a long one.
Women have no empathy for men (cf. Women are wonderful effect) and society only cares about addressing women's problems. So, nobody will help these guys fix the reason why they're being overlooked. If you already check women's comments here and news articles following the recent tragedy, nobody ever considers how destructive it is for someone's life to be confined to loneliness. Even if you only focus on sex, even though these guys probably lack affection more than sex... sex in Maslow's hierarchy is as necessary as food (go check!)
Truth-haters, show me those thumbs down!14 Reply- +1 y
Well, sex really is on the same level as food. That's a new one for me. www.learning-theories.com/...erarchy-of-needs.html Someone doesn't need sex to physically survive, it's more of a Quality of Life thing. This hierarchy doesn't even list sex: www.goodtherapy.org/.../hierarchy-of-needs-graphic
Second, I disagree that all women are the same as you painted them to be. Yes, a lot of them are real cheapskates and won't ever pay for a date. That's fine, they won't get LTR from me.
Third, your perception that women have more power in dating is not reality. If you don't know how to manage money to pay for some dates, that's your problem, not women's.
Fourth, younger women are very immature. Women mature physically earlier than men, but mentally much later than men. If you aren't finding good women at your age guess whose fault it is? Look in the mirror.
- +1 y
Sex is a need. From the bottom of the pyramid. Even you acknowledge it but shy away from its meaning. Not having access to sex may truly damage people.
Second, you misread what I wrote. I guess this is willful on your part. I never said "ALL women". This is an aggregate. PLUS... I gave an explicit reference to the "women are wonderful effect". But it seems you're unfamiliar with psychology and can't be bothered to learn even when given explicit references.
Third, you missed the mark by light years. I didn't mention not alluded to money (which I have aplenty). I alluded to online dating and apps. Any woman even fuglies and obese women can find a sex partner (and probably more) in minutes or hours at most, while average men may struggle getting dates for months if not more.
Fourth: I take responsibility for part of my difficulties. But you seem eager to dismiss how odds are stacked in women's favor. - +1 y
Unfortunately sex is a team sport. As yet there's no way to administer it intravenously. And there's a massive shortage of women willing to have sex with self-pitying scumbags.
+1 yI agree with Ben Shapiro on this one. The Incel movement is essentially what happens the culture puts the cart before the horse.
Basically, through extensive, entrenched saturation of pornography into every form of media, sex has been elevated from an action to a state: the presumption is that everyone is engaging in it and having it, and if you fail to have lost your virginity by some arbitrary point in life, you are considered a loser, there must be something wrong with you. This kind of thinking turns being a virgin into an implied state of deficiency, since not having sex is now assumed to be a character fault. Thus, men now more feel pressure than ever to have sex and lose their virginity; if not because it is natural, then because they are laughed at by other men and looked down on by women as "lesser".
I mean, "what kind of loser hasn't banged at least one womanl by the age of 30? What are you, a mangina/incel/ugly dude who can't get any? What's your excuse?"00 Reply- 2.8K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yI think INCEL culture is a great result of the dangers of toxic masculinity. i know that phrase is inflammatory and many believe it to be some slam on men but i think our culture has put to much stress on men to see their value inherently linked to their success with women.
if you can't get women labels like loser, pussy, gay, beta, etc, etc get cast on you that are simply unfair and dangerous. now the reports from the texas shooter are that he was broekn by a rejection from a girl. we have the example in california of the Elliott guy resorted to fatal violence due to a bruised ego after years of rejection
but perhaps if the value of a man's masculinity wasn't so tied up having sex we wouldn't have men resorting to misogyny and violence as a result of rejection.00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yMostly a bunch of guys who whine about how girls won't ask them out and then complain about girls. What this tells me is they don't want to face their insecurities. This bothers me to see this as I know they are in pain, and I've been in the same place.
I am an introvert, was very shy, and I have been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. And I had intimacy issues. I had 5 major things I had to get past to get dating, so I got off my duff and did it in small steps. I started dating in high school but didn't find many girls I really wanted to date. This process of self-improvement took about 20 years. I didn't get real confidence until my 40s. But I did it gradually and fixed issues in my life.
And I've done things most guys only dream of, simply because I asked women to. Yes I got rejected a lot but I also got some affirmatives. 90% rejection rate for guys is normal, one just has to get used to it.20 Reply374 opinions shared on Dating topic. Well their "culture" sure isn't going to help them with their problem for sure
But the mechanics of it is the same as any other marginalized group when them great an insular subculture that nurtures an us vs mentality it is very common and very well documented
That being said the reasons here are maybe easier to fix than some other insular aggressive subcultures
No one has an obligation to have sex with anyone of course but if we all (men and women alike) were a little more open to it a little nicer to each other in general then perhaps not only wouldn't we have these incel people killing people and spouting despicable misogyni or women writing manifestos calling for abortion of all male foetus we might also just in general have a lot less sad and lonely people who suffer depression and the like because no one really cares if they are around or not...10 Reply- 4.6K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yThe Incels are a product of today's society. Their concerns about being rejected and/or mistreated by women is legitimate. Men are being mistreated by women. Yet their violent behaviour is unjustifiable. If girls have done you wrong, or don't want you, why not retreat away from them into a cave or some such place? How would your acts of violence draw them any closer to you? Why target innocent people, like Minassian did, because you were abused by guilty wicked people?
Still, their story is very sad. Even a touch from another human being, especially of the opposite sex, is said to be the cause of euphoric (like a high) elation among them. They're so sad and hopeless and have such low self esteem that they openly talk about killing themselves. When he was arrested, Minassian wanted the police to kill him.
Sad as they are, the Incels graphically illustrate the depths to which humanity has sunk. We have clearly dropped the ball when it comes to how we treat each other.10 Reply 575 opinions shared on Dating topic. It's only going to get worse. And it isn't just an issue in American suburbia. Go investigate the reasons muslim terrorists commit acts of violence. A sexless life and those 72 virgins seem to come up an awful lot. There's an entire generation of people out there who are socially awkward, poorly parented, filled with entitlement, and livid with irrational rage at their circumstances in life.
People don't realize it, but we are on the verge of a serious breakdown in society, and this is just a symptom of the bigger problem. Men need to take it on ourselves to help guys that this that we see struggling in life. Women aren't going to be of help because they shit on weak men and don't know what is means to be a man in any case. That's why single mothers tend to raise boys who are troubled. It's really up to men to fix these issues among ourselves. But it's probably already too late to fix a lot of the dysfunction that's already been set in motion.00 ReplyThese young Men need a positive male role model to help teach them how to have self confidence and self worth. They are emotionally broken and in need of help before they dive off the deep end.
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+1 yMan... Humans weren't ready for the internet. This is what happens when you can't teach a generation about how to deal with emotions and function in society. This is what happens when you allow any group of people to gather just to complain with no intention of getting better. This is what happens when the ingroup is put above everything instead of balanced between outgroup and individual.
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+1 yI feel bad for these guys & will discourage them from attempting to collectivize their grievances. This is a huge reason we need safe, sane, & regulated prostitution. I think women tend to just assume the worst about these kinds of men, it's not exactly a plus in womens eyes to be virgin, & not to mention all the lashing out that takes place on the incel boards.
10 Reply- 3.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yIt's involuntary celibate; this term describes the undesirables and the losers of the genetic lottery. Just like poverty, there is no one solution. We can try to teach men that sex is not the only thing to life and that may help, but these people will continue to exist. Another solution is to eliminate all "ugly" men who keep on getting rejected.
21 Reply- +1 y
It's definitely a lot more merciful to weed them out in school and euthanize them before puberty than what we're currently doing: Letting them live without hope just to work crappy jobs until they die, to keep the lights on and the sewers working for the pretty people.
+1 yMovement? Culture? Being butthurt at women refusing to have sex with you is hardly a movement or culture.
810 Reply- +1 y
Basically these guys have mental problems and are on anti depressants and as seems to be the increasing way for young men to deal with their emotional and mental problems these days is to by making a very public statement by making others suffer.
- +1 y
It's not always about sex. I have been on websites like 4chan and I have talked to these guys. They are very insecure men, some of whom have never heard a positive thing in their life, and our culture tells them to stop being cowards and man up.
Now before you go off on your retarded feminist line of thinking, you have to understand that policing language is not the answer. Treating little boys like little girls is not the answer. We need to start letting boys act like boys again. It really is that simple. Let them run around and play until they are exhausted. Stop feeding them pills to make them sit still in a class for 8-hours a day. Let them be boys! That's how they develop social skills and learn how to be confident men. So stop preaching the feminist "masculinity is toxic" ideology. - +1 y
Basic kindness, not just "sex sex sex!"
If everybody in the world either ignored you or else acted disgusted/annoyed that you exist, it would FUCK you up and you'd have social maladjustment too.
- +1 y
@Servus09 She didn't even mention toxic masculinity, you're making assumptions. You don't even know if she's a feminist.
- +1 y
@thingwithfeathers
I'm talking about what I see and hear from most women. You don't have to call yourself a feminist to believe in feminist ideology. - +1 y
@Servus09 'Most women'. Statistics say otherwise.
You also didn't say 'most women', you started giving her crap for something you assumed she believed. - +1 y
@thingwithfeathers
Look back at what I said. I told her policing language is not the answer. Drugging kids so they sit still in class is not the answer. Treating boys more like girls is not the answer, and so on. Then I tell her what we need to. I addressed it towards her because I see the same patterns of discussion every single time I talk to women about these issues.
If women wanted equality, then they wouldn't want men to pay more for health care to offset the cost of women. They wouldn't sue the Boy Scouts until girls were accepted into them. They wouldn't be ok with the fact that there are no taxpayer-funded domestic shelters for men. They wouldn't like the fact that women's businesses are given government-backed loans, whereas men's businesses are not. They wouldn't like that divorce courts are extremely unfair to men. They wouldn't support the draft for men and not women. Of course, women support all of that because they believe in the feminist ideology. - +1 y
@Servus09 Again, massive assumptions. You can say all you want that these are fair assumptions, but they are not. I don't advocate any of that at all and most women I know don't either. Perhaps you are talking to the wrong women. But you can't assume that all women think these things or have these ideals because it's not representative of statistics.
It's a very mentally unhealthy way of coping with loneliness and/or rejection. Joining that crowd only ensures they will NEVER find love. I would feel sorry for them, but I don't want to be anywhere near them.
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Anonymous(36-45)+1 yIt is a product of the internet, and a sad example of the dangers of antisocial behavior. I fear that people will just blow off this hate group as silly, instead of dangerous.
30 ReplyIt's the blame game. My life sucks because someone else. You only have power over yourself not others so doesn't matter if it's there fault or not. Only way to get out of you situation is changing yourself.
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+1 yPathetic. Blaming everyone else for their problems. What I see here isn't a struggle with life, it's indulgence into self-pity. There's more blaming and shitting on others going on than actual attempts at betterment of oneself. There's nothing inherently bad about a person that's dealt a shit hand, that's life. Most of them will never stoop to this kind of thinking but actually manage their lives, here lays the leftover bunch that would rather sit and wallow in their shit and tears.
14 Reply- +1 y
488 opinions shared on Dating topic. Sounds like wanna be terrorists. Propaganda. Really no threat unless people like you post it and give attention to it for no reason good reason. I never heard of it until now.
15 Reply- +1 y
So they are now a threat because I posted this? Please hit us with your knowledge on why that is true?
- +1 y
Really no threat unless people like you post it... Your words kid not mine.
- +1 y
These people could already be in our lives and we don't know it. I think the more we know the better prepared we will be. It's not about attention but education. You didn't even know about it.. imagine if one of your friends is dealing with this stuff.. well at least now you would know about it and not be ignorant to the fact. Agree to disagree.
I think that attaching one's identity to something like being an INCEL is harmful and a self fulfilling prophesy to a large extent.
53 Reply- +1 y
Everyone dies alone. The fear of it is just a fallacy and makes zero sense.
Just legalize prostitution so we can get these fools laid
52 Reply- 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yThe word Incel it'self is stupid, has only existed for 2 weeks and I'm already sick of hearing it.
30 Reply 330 opinions shared on Dating topic. being incel is worse than MGTOW. at least MGTOWs decide to take on self ownership choose to improve their lives outside of romance and sex, but incels are just fucking whack.
30 ReplyWomen should have sex with them and the problem will be solved
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+1 yFrom the reports out of Santa Fe, there was another set of victims.
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+1 yOne of the stupider things I've seen people take seriously in 2018.
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+1 yJust seems like a bunch of people with too high standards and too many excuses.
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+1 yWeak minded men in an echochamber
40 ReplyI think opposite gender should try to talk with incels more so they'll feel less lonely.
42 Reply- +1 y
While I'm sure this would help men it's not a risk-free approach for women. Guys have a name for girls who talk to them but don't put out.
- +1 y
I didn't downvote you though, that was some other gender traitor.
I already hate myself for being a 24 year old virgin. The fact that I'm associated with these assholes just makes me want to die
07 Reply- +1 y
- +1 y
Hate is just anger directed inward. Don't beat anyone up, least of all yourself.
- +1 y
You've given yourself a label, you've associated that label with being a loser, and you've decided to hate yourself for it. You've created unnecessary psychological pain.
- +1 y
@Dchrls78104 INCEL is a term people identify with and you don't have to leave the country as if you are joining ISIS LOL.
- +1 y
@coachTanthony As a matter of fact, among the 300 ISIS militants scheduled to be executed in Iraq as of last week, one is a female from my country.
INCEL cells haven't penetrated my region yet, as far as I know. - +1 y
@Dchrls78104 Ha Ha Ha Okay.. you got me.
- 9 mo
@Truthatanycost f you, victim blaming pos
- 669 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yThis sounds like a terrorist sect of MGTOW.
41 Reply I think they're ticking time bombs.
335 Reply- +1 y
So would you be if you were left to rot like a plum in a jar.
Sad too, because the tiniest acts of basic human kindness would help these guys tremendously, it's a pathetic fucking joke that you have to be good-looking and successful in order to be seen as human. Fucking disgusting.
The less love there is in the world, the more hate there is in the world, I thought people understood that, I guess everybody loves to see things decaying and degenerating and returning to barbarism and law of the jungle. Better than civilization, huh? Let's be animals, ruled by lust and domination! Yeah, our kids will thank us for letting things slide further down the pit! Jesus. - +1 y
If everybody treated you like shit all the time, and there was no place in the world where you belonged, it would affect your decision-making abilities, you bloody damned fool.
Wake the hell up! - +1 y
@Bluemax I've shared my thoughts on it here:
What should malcontented incels be doing with their lives? โ - +1 y
Therapy is often sought out when there is a problem, not before there is a problem. Often times therapy straight up doesn't work because about 50% or more of therapists and the philosophies with which they approach dealing with problems are just quacks and quackery. I've been convinced of this by my friends who are themselves therapists.
- +1 y
I see.
Of the incels I know personally, none of them actually *call* themselves incels. None of them actually hang out on incel websites. None of them feel entitled to anything. And they're not assholes. I suspect they're the majority.
By critical thinking, I take it you mean examining one's self with critical eye. Am I correct? - +1 y
@Bluemax That's true, there are most likely far more incels who don't indentify as such. Although I would argue that part of what defines an incel is the proud self-identification as such, as well as a sense of belonging to a "movement" or "community" of like-minded.
And yes, someone who learned (and understands) proper critical thinking, is far more likely to self-examine and self-critique. - +1 y
I feel sorry for them though. Maybe it's not the same in Germany, but here in the USA, we are a very shallow culture.
- +1 y
@OliviaDenny2000 I feel sorry for any person who can't manage to find a partner (sexual or romantic), don't get me wrong. I have friends who are like that because they are very shy and introverted and such. But they are good-hearted, loving person. Incels are not. Part of being an incel is hatred for women, feeling entitled to sex/dates, and being incapable of self-examination. I don't feel sorry for these kind of people.
- +1 y
Oh, I agree, they go a little too far.
- +1 y
Sorry, I got distracted.
I'm not as optimistic as you that critical thinking will help much. To me it seems learned hopelessness is what comes first. The other stuff about hating women and general misanthropy (something seldom talked about... they hate women most, but I believe they generally hate people, as evidenced by Elliot Roger's manifesto) comes later in their lives (or at least so it seems), after the learned hopelessness.
- +1 y
As for those you know who have had no luck with finding a partner but are good, kind hearted, loving people, why do you think they haven't gone down the road of hating? What's different about them?
I've known many such people (too many, alas) and the reasons don't seem to be that they're better at critical thinking. - +1 y
"I've known many such people (too many, alas) and the reasons don't seem to be that they're better at critical thinking."
- It's probably most likely also something inherent with most of them. But I think proper critical thinking skills are a must basis at the very least. May I ask what you'd suggest to prevent this? - +1 y
If I knew for certain how to prevent this, I might be a very wealthy man! ;)
I don't think there's any one thing, but probably several.
Firstly, I think perhaps they need to tackle this learned hopelessness. A lot of incel guys claim they're hopelessly ugly. Hopelessly unappealing. Hopelessly shy. I believe that's not true in most cases. I think many know that self improvement could help, but they don't attempt it because they think it's hopeless (it's not) and uncomfortable to try (true, but who says that's a bad thing?).
Secondly, their problems are legit. People on GAG and the internet like to say they're just whining. They like to tell them love and sex isn't that important (it won't KILL YOU!!!). It's no big deal if you never find someone. All of this, whether it's intended to or not, is BELITTLING A VERY LEGIT PROBLEM. I know most of the time it's not intended to belittle, but it does, intentionally or not. - +1 y
Having been married 14 wonderful years to a woman I love, I can assure you love and sex to the overwhelming majority of humanity *IS* a big deal. My wife wasn't just some dessert. She was a main course in life. She was a source, albeit not the only one, of tremendous happiness. Although loneliness won't kill you, it shortens your life. It can destroy the quality of life. Arguably, slavery or imprisonment won't kill you. When you think about it, you won't die from lack of freedom. If you're fed and clothed and kept warm in a prison, your needs are provided for. Yet who among us *WANTS* that? There are many things that won't kill your body, but they will seriously injure your soul. Loneliness is one of them.
I think people should take loneliness, lack of love, and lack of sex *VERY* seriously.
Next, positive role models. I read Elliot Roger's manifesto. One thing that struck me was his parents were not at all good role models for love. His father didn't seem to talk at all about... - +1 y
... about dating and relationships to his son. This set me back to some extent, too. My own father dated exactly one woman in his life, and I call her "mom." My dad was a great man, but not very experienced in dating. My brother somewhat offset this. But it set me back a bit.
Next, STOP CALLING THEM NAMES. Even if they are misogynists, the name calling ONLY does harm. It does no good at all. I can't tell you how many times on GAG I've seen them called pieces of shit, whiners, losers, trash, etc. Sometimes people even claim this is a form of "tough love." Frankly, I'm skeptical. I believe in most cases they couldn't care less. They're just annoyed (in some cases understandably) and they want to vent their annoyance about incels, hence they call them names and claim it's tough love. But even if they were legit trying to get them to see the error of their ways, tough love needn't, in fact positively *SHOULDN'T* include name calling and insults. - +1 y
If you're calling incels names and insulting them, the *ONLY* thing you're accomplishing in virtually every case is making them more defensive. If you're exasperated (and it's understandable) and can think of nothing but calling them names, then it's probably best not to say anything at all.
I'm sorry that was lengthy, but I couldn't think of any other way to put it. - +1 y
@Bluemax I was originally talking about how to prevent young men from *becoming* incels. And there I think proper critical thinking skills at the very least will have a positive effect and definitely keep some of them from going down that path.
"Next, STOP CALLING THEM NAMES. Even if they are misogynists, the name calling ONLY does harm. It does no good at all."
- First of all, calling a misogynist a misogynist is not exactly "name calling". I will call out misogynists on their misogyny and name it as it is, just as I would do with racists. And that does definitely do good. - +1 y
And as for actual name calling and insults - I agree that it most likely won't have any positive effect on incels. But I have no intention to do so otherwise. Incels are lost causes. I won't try to get incels to come to their senses just as I won't try to get Alt-Right people to come to their sense. These people are so deep into their - dare I say - ideologies that you cannot win them back. You cannot reason with them. They won't listen. Ever. I will focus on preventing people from becoming like that.
- +1 y
Then we do not disagree much.
I never said calling them misogynists is name calling, did I? When I say name calling, I mean things like loser, trash, pathetic, pieces of shit, subhuman (all of which I've read and heard).
"I agree that it most likely won't have any positive effect on incels"
Not only will it not have a positive effect, it will likely have a negative effect, especially the ones who not so deep into their ideologies. I believe the likeliest result is you'll push the not-so-deep ones in the wrong direction when you (you plural, not you Pamina) start calling them trash, pieces of shit, etc. Moreover, even if you're talking about the ones you feel who *are* too deep, the lost causes (your term not mine, as I have doubts they are lost causes), if the not-so-lost causes hear or read the name calling, I believe they are likely to be pushed in the wrong direction. I believe this name calling (and for the record a second time, I don't think calling them misogynists is name... - +1 y
... calling), whether one believes it or not, whether one intends it or not, whether one wants it or not, not only doesn't have a positive effect, actually contributes to the problem.
As for them being lost causes, how can any of us know with any certainty that they are "so far gone" in their ideologies just from talking to them for a few minutes? On NPR's Snap Judgment, there was an episode that featured KLANSMEN for god's sake who were talked to their senses. Not all at once, to be sure, but over time, bit by bit, they did come to their senses. The same is true with the many incels my brother has talked to. How do you account for this?
How can any of us know with certainty who is a lost cause? by the way, I agree some (though I wouldn't hazard an attempt at guessing what percentage) *ARE* lost causes. This doesn't give me reason to call them pieces of shit, especially since I can't be sure who else is listening.
+1 yI got bored halfway...
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+1 yI've known about these guys for years
00 Reply
+1 yBeing a sad loser is a movement now? smh
20 Reply
+1 yPathetic losers who have given up
10 ReplyWomen created this shit.
112 Reply- +1 y
How so? By having standards for who we sleep with? By sleeping with men who they believe are not worthy? First of all, men also have standards and make poor choices, but unattractive women just move on with their lives -- they don't become terrorists. Second, these guys mostly aren't incels because they're ugly. It's because they're unpleasant people.
- +1 y
Im willing to admit that men are a disaster and need change but not on your terms and the way you put it.
You have no accountability as a female/collective, which is completely expected.
First world females have so much influence on how males behave (as I've observed) but you're unwilling to admit (your) power without embracing the consequence. - +1 y
What exactly do you think we need to be accountable to you for? There are a few things I regret doing in relationships, and from the perspective of age, I'm sorry for hurting those individual men. But that speaks more to the idea that I shouldn't have been in relationships with them at all, NOT that I should have had sex with more of them.
- +1 y
Thats a start right there.
80/20 rule and Female Hypergamy is the root problem. How to change it?- honestly, i dont wanna.
(First world) Males will effeminate themselves if it makes them desirable, remember that. That's how much influence you have; be accountable for that.
Incels have always been around, you're just trying to make up a new boogyman
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yBitter losers
30 Reply
+1 yGotta get them sum luv
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yThere's no such thing as an INCEL.
00 Reply
+1 yPraise St. Elliot
30 Reply- 557 opinions shared on Dating topic.
+1 yDont know what it is
02 Reply- +1 y
Incel is a term uses to describe the people of the world who can't seem to get into a relationship or have a bad tine getting women. These might be your basement nerds, outcasts, mentally challenged, etc etc. They basically hate the world because they can't get a girl to go out with them and they blame many different things, mainly women, for there lack of ability to get laid.
966 opinions shared on Dating topic. idiots
01 Replylosers.
10 Reply
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