I am dating a foreign exchange student who is leaving at the end of next quarter!!!

So I met this guy in one of my college classes at the end of September. We have this class every single day, and we didn't talk for like a month...but we found out we took the same bus and he lives really close to me (one apartment complex down from mine) so we started talking more. Then, he asked me out one day and I said yes. But he's more experienced than I am (he's had sex) and I'm Christian and I told him I want to save sex for marriage. But yeah..we just started dating two weeks ago and to me, we've moved kind of fast. One day we kissed, and the next, we were making out. And the day after that, he had his hand up my shirt and was fondling my breasts under my bra while we were making out. I kind of told him that I felt a little weird after that and he slowed it down a little.

I keep telling him this is a fling because I know he's going back to Australia at the end of March but he says he's serious about this relationship and wants to continue it when he goes back to Australia. But I'm extremely cautious about letting myself get involved with him mainly because 1) he's Christian 2) he's not a virgin 3) he's going back to Australia...but he keeps telling me he'll wait for me and asks me to wait for him. -_-

For some reason, I think this relationship is mainly physical for him...cuz the class that we took together...there were 3 other guys who also liked me and one of the guys was his really good friend and now they don't really talk because of me. His friend told me after we started going out that he thought I was the cutest girl in the class and he was going to ask me out but he instead told the guy I'm going out with to ask me out... but I don't know.

We just got out of school on Thursday for winter break (it's 3 weeks long) and he wanted to go somewhere with me for like 3 days. I thought that was moving kind of fast...cuz we just started going out. But he was like we should go to New York or Socal or something. I told him I probably couldn't though, and we'll probably go to San Francisco to hang out sometime next week, then go back to school and stay there for 2 days. Then I'll come back home and he'll still be there because he's exchange student.

Also, he parties and drinks and stuff. And he's smoked before. And I've never done either. He kind of seems like the bad boy type but not really? He doesn't really swear around me, but he told me it's because he tries not to when he's around me. But I even swear around him sometimes like once in a while...haha. He always calls me innocent and I call him shady :P and I say he's trying to corrupt me. And he has a tattoo of Latin words on his chest area. And he wears a leather jacket a lot, haha. And skinny jeans -_-

By the way, we're both Asian.

Tell me what you think!

***I meant he's NOT Christian and I am...and yes, we would be sleeping in the same bed if we went on a trip together.


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What Girls Said 2

  • it sounds like you're having fun with him,

    but obviously your virginity is important to you

    if you're waiting until marriage.

    you don't share the same values.

    it's cute that you have contrasting lifestyles,

    if you guys were to go on a trip,

    would you be sleeping in the same bed?

    his actions seem to be moving quickly,

    long distance relationships don't work,

    especially when it's with someone who is very sexual.

    it's based on trust, and that trust hasn't had time to develop.

    IF you did attempt the long distance relationship,

    how would you feel if he parties and has pictures up

    [i'm guessing you have online social networking?]

    would you be jealous? it seems like a lot of emotional investment

    with someone you don't know very well.

    do you have any intention of moving to Australia?

    does he have any intention on moving to you?

    if not, I wouldn't attempt the long distance,

    and I wouldn't put your life on hold.

    putting your life on hold is complicated, and if it doesn't work out,

    theres always resentment. do you want to be rejecting all these guys

    [that could have worked out]

    for this one male who lives thousands of miles away,

    that didn't work out?

    i wouldn't count on a future and I wouldn't have sex with him,

    if I was a virgin, waiting until marriage.

    hang out, have fun, and be safe.

    enjoy the relationship while you can, but don't stretch it out

    to long distance.

    good luck!

  • This sounds like what you told him it was: a fling.

    As a Christian too, I would suggest distancing yourself. You could get really hurt.

    I do understand how enticing the situation is though. Chalk it up to a nice life experience, but not much more. You sound a bit immature in terms of relationships (I say this with love, of course).

    While I'm glad I waited for such a long time (24 years; with the man for 3 months and still with him; he's Asian unlike me who is 100% white and we love each other very much) a part of me will always regret not being able to give myself to him fully on our wedding night.

    If you want, you can wait for him, but I wouldn't limit yourself. Go out on dates with other guys. Expand your choices.