Is it bad to kiss and hug your boyfriend all the time?

He wants me to kiss him and cuddle less. It’s not that he doesn’t want to at all but apperantly I do it too much. Like every time we watch tv, I always lean on him or if we chill in bed, I’ll snuggle.

He says it worries him because it makes him feel like I feel like he’s gonna leave. He thinks I’m not comfortable with him.

which isn’t why I kiss and hug him at all. I do it because I love to kiss and cuddle with him and it’s just my love language. I just have an urge to do so. We’ve been dating for a year but I still feel excited about him.

i don’t mind doing what he wants. For example, he wanted to just lay in bed on our backs or sides and just talk. It felt nice.. But I don’t feel like I know how I’m supposed to kiss and hug moderately without feeling like I’m too much 😐😶

What do I do?
am I too much?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • If your boyfriend is like me then too much touching makes you uncomfortable, it's like someone entering your personal space all the time and you have to step back when they step forward. It's nice to have affection but too much can be draining.

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    • How do you say this to your girlfriend without hurting her feelings or sounding like a weirdo?

    • @LeoElias hah

      But to the anon dude, thank you!

  • It's not bad but there can be a time and a place. My girlfriend is the same as you: she hugs and kisses me all the time. I'm probably not a great example because I'm generally not a touchy-feely sort of person. However, there are times that are more appropriate than others. Last night for instance she started hugging me and kissing me while I was eating and just before that she'd been doing it while I was trying to work.
    I don't mind hugging her and I don't mind kissing her, and I wouldn't want to tell her not to do it because she isn't doing anything wrong, it's just that sometimes I'm in the middle of something and if she were to wait 15 minutes then she could have my attention.

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    • Nah you're a good example! At least its good to hear from another point of view. he's the same he says there's a time and a place but thing is we are alone when i do it and he wanted less of it still. I do do it all the time but even so i give room for us to be individuals and i dont understand why cuddling why watching a movie is annoying.

Most Helpful Girls

  • oh I have this issue too. my ex boyfriend thought I was too clingy, but I am not clingy tho, I am affectionate. I like to hug, kiss, cuddle, etc. In several months when we started dating, he seems happy with all the affection. But then after almost 3 years, he changed. I need to ask him everytime I want a peck form him, like asking his permission.

    I think I need to find someone who is as affectionate as me. Not clingy tho. I think it will be nice to have mutual feeling and affection towards each other rather than one sided.

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  • You are not doing anything wrong. You just got with someone who isn't as affectionate. Really it shouldn't be all on you to do it less. It should be a compromise of you trying to do it less and him trying to do it more. A good relationship isn't making one person change to meet the others needs. It's a compromise where both change things they can. I would talk to him and try and make him understand that.

    A lot of couples make that same mistake when they have different sex drives. The one with the low sec drive expects the one with the high sex drive to just deal with them not having sex with them that often. And it's wrong. Both need to compromise and adapt.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 55

  • Have you read about the Five Love Languages? One of them is physical touch. Maybe that's one of yours? You can read about it online. There's also a book about it.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=doRMsjoDevY

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  • Maybe he is just not as clingy but it's not a bad thing, and if everything is still good for you guys I don't think he would leave because I believe he is happy with you.

    Hopefully, this was helpful.

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  • Be careful. That's how you get pregnant! JK. Either way. He won't leave you. You will leave him eventually. Why? Because you aren't getting the attention you want.

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    • So how do I go about this?

    • Either you change or leave him. Relationships have lots of compromise. Restraint is yours.

  • Everyone is different that way. Some like more physical affection than others. I personally would love it and you couldn't possibly do it too much lol, but some are different. You two are just different people that way that's all. Too different? That's for you to decide for yourself.

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  • There no such thing as too much hugs and kisses and snuggling. But if he say your doing it too much the you have to respect his wishes cause you dont want him to feel like your smothering him and push him away. Just give him a little space and revisit it later

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  • He's independent. He doesn't need constant affection, which that affection comes naturally to you. But for him he just needs space. It's normal and nothing is wrong with you for attempting it. You are just two opposites. If you want just show affection a certain amount a day. That probably sounds outrageous but if you want to be with him you need to restrain yourself.

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  • Its good to be loving and affectionate but sometimes we need a little space too.

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  • Egads... needy much? It's just ALWAYS about you isn't it?

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    • Why do you say that?

    • Show All
    • I looked it up and thought it was an interesting concept.

      But eeh I don’t want to be that 😐 well how do I become less self Centered?

    • What are you doing to develop high-value in a relationship? What do you bring that makes you a 'catch'? Do you make a lot of money? Can you cook? Do you have some special talent that makes life with you a joy?

      Pleasing your guy is actually quite easy, but most women either don't believe it, think it's not their 'job', or simply refuse - here's what your man wants:
      Sex
      Food
      Attention/love/respect

      If you'll provide all of these all he wants he'll stay forever true and love you forever.
      He'll :"Swim through shark infested waters to bring you lemonade." __Dr. Laura

      If you fail then he'll seek them out somewhere else.

  • uuuggghhhh girls like you are perfect. men usually love physical affection, so i dont really get why he wouldn't like it. i suppose it could be coming from a good place though. but you should explain that its important to you and do it anyways lol. even take it up a notch and always start rubbing his groin when cuddling ;)

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  • Not from where I'm sitting! I'd LOVE to have a girl that loves me so much she hugs, snuggles and kisses a lot... as long as she's not needy.

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  • If it's me as the boyfriend, NO! NEVER BAD NEVER BAD NEVER BAD! Hug and kiss all the time makes me a happy monkey.

    Not all men are like me. We're all different. So, if it's not his thing, then it's a different situation.

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  • Every guy will have a different view just communicate to each other what you like and why you like it - If you explain it is not an insecure cuddling, he might relax a bit

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  • Some people don't like too much PDA, but I like it.

    You never know if it'll ever be the last time, look at it that way.

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  • "Moderately" would certainly be OK by me. Maybe save some of it for "special times" together and ease off a bit during the regular day-to-day routine time. It will make it that much more special, too.

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  • Literally ALL THE TIME must be boring at some point, but most of the time not at all, it's super nice. It strenghtens the bonds between the two of you. If someone doesn't like doing that, it must mean there's something wrong, at least with me.

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  • Hell no !!! When I was married we did all the time no matter where we are.

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    • Sadly my boyfriend doesn’t wan that 😒
      I love him anyways but I’d like to just kiss him whenever

    • Talk to him and let him know how u feel and find out why he doesn't like it. It can be delt with it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.

  • Most guys would kill to have a girl like you, it's not bad that you like it, but he might feel you're smothering him so he may want a little space.

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  • Well, his love language may be different. Explain your way of expressing love to him, and maybe agree to cuddle slightly less? I dunno. I love snuggles, and wish I had a snuggly girl. *sigh* Maybe next year.

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  • If he don't like it then it's bad because he want's space. Good thing he likes it. You're fine. I like clingy girls but who knows how to give space tho.

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  • Jesus man... what you are doing sounds awesome... That's like, my dream hehe... He should be so happy that you do that!!!

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What Girls Said 21

  • tell him about 5 love languages (google if you dont know) and how physical is so important to you
    and you feel rejected if he thinks its too much
    also explain that you in no way think he will leave, you just wanna exress yr love
    also make him take test to see what are his love languages

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  • Girl... there’s some people that don’t like so much physical contact... or he’s not that into you. As simple as that.
    The ideal would be finding someone who is as touchy as you.

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    • I think he has to be into her if they've been dating a year.

    • There’s a reason why people break up and get divorced... relationships change and levels of attraction too. I’m not saying that he definitely is not into her anymore, I’m saying it could be a possibility.

  • yeah, for example i hvae a friend and she doesn't really like to be huged too much but when you dont hug her or hug her occasionaly, she open up to you and she is like a teddy bear, giving space to the other person is important, this is how he is i guess

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  • Maybe he doesn’t need to be that intimate with you all the time. Like for him, there may not need to be excessive amounts of it.

    I’m a very affectionate person. I’m always going to be overly affectionate to my significant other. He isn’t use to it, but he likes it. If he doesn’t like it.. well fuck him.. i’ll kill him withhh alll my lovveeee!! Smotherrrr him to deathhhh 💁🏽‍♀️

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  • Just explain to him that physical touch is your love language and that is how you most like to express and receive love. It sounds like quality time is his love language, so you need to be understanding of that as well. Talk to him and find a balance you are both satisfied with.

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  • Guys need & want space. Sometimes, being smothered too much turns them off.

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  • I think you are fine if he doesn't like it talk to him about. I know you mentioned that he's worried that you might think that he will leave. I don't really think its a good sign boyfriends have to be with you and have times for themselves too. Are you guys always together?

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  • Build a wall dividing the bed down the middle so you can get your sleep without him hugging and kissing you. I swear, this guy must have a hugging/kissing fetish.

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  • Everyone has their limits... most couples find a balance.

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  • awe you're cute

    @PrettyRegular you won't mind right?

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  • Not everyone is into that much affection all the time

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  • Everyone needs some space, don't suffocate him

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  • I would just pull back a bit.

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  • he needs more

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  • Do you guys like it? Okay there ya go.

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  • I'm the same way you're not too much

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  • Masturbate more

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  • It's not good that you have to change your comfort level to suit something so trivial, because as you said you're just freaking out now over whats too little or whats too much. I think you guys need to talk and you have to make him understand you're just affectionate, not anxious of him leaving.
    These little things are what become a massive problem later down the road, it can even become resentment. Talk it out before either if you ruin this with unnecessary worrying and discomfort, trust me.

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  • I relate but im a girl but guys i dont like touching all the time. When i huge wave of love hits me thats when i feel like im able to hug or kiss. Or else it just feels like im being invaded. I do love my boyfriend a lot i love him but when its too much i feel so uncomfortable.

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    • And sometimes even unecessary i dont know why.

  • I went through the same with my boyfriend, think I even asked this same question on here. I tried to refrain from doing it too much, but then I just felt weird and kind of unloved...
    In the end it took a bit more time, maybe three years of living together, for us to find a middle ground and for him to feel more comfortable with it as well. It wasn't simple.

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