Do you enjoy long term or short term relationships more?

[Jiuytessss]

Do you enjoy long term or short term relationships more?

Long term

Short term

[elizabeth-jen]

i think short term relationships are more fun and exciting, but if a long term relationship comes around i'll roll with it; am i a bit nervous that my non committal personality will lead to ruinous emotional disaster in all upcoming/current relationships? yes. am i crippled by guilt that i begin to get antsy and judgmental the second a relationship seems like it's moving a phase forward? yes. do these issues keep me up at night filled with dread? yes. do i worry that i can't provide my partners with the emotional stability they need and am doing them a disservice by staying in their lives? yes. am i concerned that my solitary personality will lead me to a life of loneliness and despair? yes. do i fear that by being in a relationship i lose my sense of autonomy and freedom due to being passive, anxious, and deprived of autonomy in childhood? yes. are these things that i should be telling a therapist? maybe. but regardless, short relationships ftw woo.

[JiminsHoe]

I'm a kiddo & still seeing what I like in life so a short term relationship to allow myself to pinpoint which qualities I like best in people and to allow myself to grow as a person are great. I'm not looking for a long term boo thang because experimenting is fun and perfect for my age (18). But later in my twenties, I'm sure I'll be looking for long term guys, otherwise by that point it'll just be a waste of time.

[Marrry]

Jimin is from jimin of bts?

[JiminsHoe]

@Marrry yes lol

[latinabutterfly96]

Honestly short term but not in the ONS sort of way. It’s admittedly difficult for me to be in a relationship long term. And yes I’m addressing this issue as we speak. 😂

[AynonOMouse]

Why is it difficult?

[latinabutterfly96]

It’s most likely due to having people ripped out of my life when I was younger. A lot of my classmates had parents that worked overseas and only came to our country for a couple years. So many of my closest friends and romantic interests kept leaving the school being replaced by others.

[AynonOMouse]

Oh I see. So it is more that there isn't confidence that it could last because they may be taken away or something. So it is like they aren't dependable long term and end up disappointing you when they leave.

[latinabutterfly96]

Well, im not sure. I end up losing interest really quickly.
Don’t worry though.

[AynonOMouse]

Do you normally have stuff in common with them? Like common hobbies or stuff you like to do together other than intimacy?

[latinabutterfly96]

Yes i do.

[latinabutterfly96]

Thanks for MHO!

[chimeara]

Till I found my wife I was notorious for having very short relationships. I hated the idea of wasting my time or a woman's time by dragging things out if I didn't think it could work. I am glad I found my wife and now we have been together for 9 years.

[Jiuytessss]

That is great but not everyone finds someone

[chimeara]

This is true but it doesn't mean you can't try.

[Nahid1707]

I’m into long term relationships but I been forever single. 😊

[Pinay_ako]

I enjoy a relationship that's lasting and full of love and respect...

[Apope16]

The sex is more amazing long term because you have developed a rythyhm and chemistry sexually.

[Logorithim]

I only do long term relationships.

[Wrrrryyyyy]

Long term, it's nice getting to know someone and making that connection, like peeling an onion, however onions can make you cry so that's the downside to long term (arguements and sorting through the conflict, hurting each others feelings sometimes)

[Jiuytessss]

Lol love the analogy

[Wrrrryyyyy]

Thanks.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

It all depends on what you're looking for. If you just want a bit of fun then short-term is for you. If you want something real and lasting then long term is for you. Even though I've never been in one, I think I prefer long-term. Short-term usually feels like so much work for nothing. At least in long-term it would feel like all my effort was spent on building something meaningful.

[brennanhuff]

I wonder if women have short term relationships so to not be lonely or have a companion but want an emotional connection as well. It seems like it's a funny way for women to have the guy commit for the time, but so a woman can have sex under this emotional connection. Like I know women want relationships but it seems like some women want a man to say he's going to be in a relationship with her only 2 weeks in or before sex. But even if you like the guy, why do you want a relationship if you don't know that he's someone long term? It's a waste of time if you like the person and see them girlfriend or boy friend material, but they aren't husband or wife material, which I'm not finding out until months later therefore the thought process of a relationship wouldn't come to me until I'm past them being a good girlfriend vs she's a keeper thought process.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

@brennanhuff I don't know how it would work, as I said before I've never been in a long-term relationship. All of my relationships have lasted less than 2 months. Which sounds very absurd, but I swear it's the truth. It's not that I have trouble with commitment either, my main problem is finding a guy that is willing to commit. Most just want me for a little while. I don't have a problem with it unless I get attached with has happened most often than not. I guess in my case I always have the keeper mentality on. If someone is not what I would consider a keeper then I wouldn't be with them longer than a month. It's not worth my time.

[brennanhuff]

But why do women put like this "contract" they want to tie on a guy to be their girlfriend a few weeks in and make it a relationship? Which means he can't meet other women then or else it's cheating, but yet he doesn't know if she's the one and it's like a waste of time. I don't want to be stuck to someone or being put on me to be in a relationship when time hasn't been given to feel that she's one to be with. And that comes from simply liking her or even loving her, but seeing that she has very strong wife potential qualities. I only want a relationship if I see that, and not "eh she's a nice girl or would be a good girlfriend". It feels like girls want to make sure a guy wants a relationship before sex happens, almost like so girls can have sex themselves but want this emotional connection? I don't know. But why do you want a boyfriend or wanting a relationship when you have no idea or it's too early to see that he's more than a boyfriend material and husband material? My view is if a girl doesn't want non committed sex, then either be friends and just get to know the guy more so maybe more connection be hard over time to where it's figured that both are serious potential, but not hold each other from seeing other people in the meantime.

[simplyaramdomgirl]

@brennanhuff well most girls want a relationship at that point because they have already done their boyfriend analysis. They have gone over the guys qualities, flaws, character traits and actions. Once a girl sees all of these in a guy and likes him despite all of it, then she's ready to be in a relationship. If you feel like you're being tied down when you're not ready then it's not the right relationship to begin with and you should let that girl go before she creates any more attachment to you. Also there are many people that do what you said last. Not everyone follows the same cookie cutter courting style. Some people start out as friends with benefits and stay like that for a while, others start to get to know each other but don't have an exclusive relationship and so forth.

[brennanhuff]

Yeah but why do they want a boyfriend! It seems likes it’s so they don’t get hurt as on if it’s a relationship or they make it so, they can have the attachment with sex. To me the boyfriend aspect seems actually tied to sex but it’s harder for women to have sex without an emotional bond so a relationship makes them feel like the guy cares which helps them feel better going forward with sex. But they see a guy has boyfriend qualities but so what? It seems having an exclusive ultimatum until at least good time and really know the person to which you feel they have keeper qualities and not just boyfriend girlfriend qualities

[brennanhuff]

Well my view is either sex or being with your future significant other. Gf/bf is more of a waste of time than casual sex in my opinion because even if it hurts a persons feelings (relationship break ups hurt too) one can sooner move on and find someone right. Whereas being in a relationship with someone you like it even love but not someone thats the one. And 6 month ago passes and a breakup happens but it was never someone that special or marriage special level. Than 6 months were wasted to where a man could either have speed his oats more and get him more ready to settle down and out of his system or dated other women and maybe found “the one in that Time or from time that passes with her

[simplyaramdomgirl]

@brennanhuff It makes sense what you're saying. But if you don't date, how are you going to find the one? The boyfriend phase isn't so the girl can tie you down. It's a step towards discovering if you're the one or not. It's as if saying that you want to be someone's best friend but can't be their friend first. There are certain steps that you got to take to work towards something. People date for a reason, and it's mainly either to have that one person who you trust and can have safe comfortable sex with, or someone that you truly believe to be the one. So basically, in a nutshell people date because they like comfort and a routine or because they truly think that they have a deep and important bond. However there are many people that aren't comfortable dating just one person. That's why open relationship exist. If you want to see more than one person at a time I suggest you talk to your partner about considering an open relationship, or maybe even a polyamory if you feel like you'd like to add someone into your relationship.

[brennanhuff]

I’d rather either have casual sex or a relationship if is with the one which takes time. I don’t want an open relationship, if it’s someone I want a relationship with then it’s someone I feel is special and have feelings for and wouldn’t want her being banged by other guys, most people don’t like their partner being with other people. I’m not a polygamist. It’s separate, either no strings with someone like casual dating or hookup or a relationship but don’t desire a girlfriend but only want one if I feel a woman is wife material

[simplyaramdomgirl]

@brennanhuff Okay, I get now. You're saying that you wouldn't get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. You'd only be in a relationship with someone that you think is special and that's actually the criteria that everyone should use. I know many friends of mine that literally don't know how to be single or have a casual thing. They have to be in a relationship because if not they feel bad about themselves. I know many girls that jump from a relationship to another relationship without even being single at least a month. And I mean entirely single not talking to a guy, not seeing anyone. In my opinion that's very unhealthy because part of being in a relationship is being single. You need to have an opportunity to reflect on where your relationship went wrong and what you learned from your past relationship. You can't just jump into something new because it won't work out.

[brennanhuff]

It’s one thing if sex happens during the dating but another thing if the woman has the guy wait or tells him she wants a relationship before they are to have sex so an ultimatum. But wants him to commit first and make this a relationship first before they go forward with sex. It’s one thing if she wAnts to wait, that’s fine. It’s her body and feelings she can obviously do what she wants but it’s another thing I’m trying to hold me to be exclusive before then. Ok cool then, you don’t want sex unless In a relationship? Well your a cool girl I don’t want to not talk to you anymore but we can be friends not as in friends with benefits as it’s obvious a girl doesn’t want that if she wants a committed relationship. But she can date others and I’ll not be held up seeing others but meanwhile still keep in touch or hang out and get to know each other just through time passing. I made up a term “bookmarking”, it’s idealistic but ya never , though a guy will probably end up being friend zoned in that. But some girls guys end up having feelings for are ones who they knew for awhile or friends with but since we’re friends from same social circle, they knew each other but since were with each other were free to see other people but still got to know each other through friendship

[brennanhuff]

I guess it makes more sense for a girl to want to feel secure and comfortable having sex with a guy from a relationship as I don’t need that as a guy if just want sex. I know it’s not best term but this can be used toward guys too. Having a guy commit after a decent period of time without having sex first is like a car salesman telling you to buy the car but you can’t test drive at all first. Sexual compatibility is a component too. What if one person is really bad or selfish or you’re completely opposite on your preferences to where it would be hard to compromise? And instead of knowing that or getting out of way, learn that later. It’s not the best idea because guys could go on with the relationship for the sex but not stop right after getting it as in not to look like jerks and prove the girl right that guys or he just wanted sex. But going into it know he’s only gonna be in it for a month or two and then break up but can argue it wasn’t just sex he was with her for as he would’ve stopped seeing her right off after but was with her a month or two longer and it was something about her after so and so time that he wanted to break up. A guy can play a mind game or doesn’t prevent that from freeing his guilt if he feels he did all that she wanted and committed but she wasn't for him long term. My point is either have sex and see where the dating goes, or if it’s important for commitment before sex then be friends and see others. I just have a feeling it will be one or the other for girls as in either wanting a romantic relationship with a guy or not wanting his friendship if he doesn't want to commit before sex or he’s then permanently friend zoned with no chance of revisiting romance at later time, “bookmark”

[CarpetDenim]

Who actually likes being in a short term relationship lmao? I thought short term relationships were just attempted long term ones that didn’t work out long enough to qualify as long term.

[Jiuytessss]

I like it tbh

[CarpetDenim]

Why would you? Sounds like a huge waste of time

[Jiuytessss]

Not wanting to commit, dont believe love is real or that I'll ever be loved

[CarpetDenim]

Well you definitely won’t if you refuse to date a guy for more than a few months lmao

[Jiuytessss]

I think of it more as just having fun socializing with many guys and not as dating or relationships just fling

[CarpetDenim]

Then it doesn’t even qualify as a short term relationship. Short term relationships still involve commitment and dating.

[Jiuytessss]

Commitment for a couple months with the same guy sure then we grow apart and just I never contact him again and neither does he. To me that's a fling

[Ellie-V]

I enjoy short term relationships more because I’m not hurting their feelings. We both know what it is—I’m ALWAYS honest. I don’t want someone talking about I was stringing them along.

[shasher]

same here

[Charlotte0204]

I don't see the point in being in a relationship with someone unless you want it to be long term? Maybe that's just me.

[Jiuytessss]

I don't want committment and I don't believe love is real. Having flings is fun and simpler, I can just walk away anytime I want and my feelings wouldn't be hurt

[Charlotte0204]

That's a good method to be fair :) I wish I could work like that.

[Nahid1707]

I agree with that ☺️💕

[emmily2396]

If you want a short term relationship you can't feel love

[Jiuytessss]

You are right I don't and I don't believe romantic love is real anyway

[humanearth]

I been with the same woman for 26 and 25 of them married to her. Yes still married.

[Porcelaine]

nice :) what's the secret?

[humanearth]

@Porcelaine
1) have to be like best friends
2) have respect for each other
3) always keep the lines of communication open
4) don't try to control each other (Marriage is give and take, it is all about balance. Not one should have more power than the other.)
5) always say I love you, kiss other good night and never go to bed mad at each other.
6) always keep working on the honey do list.

Them tips always seem to work for me.

[Porcelaine]

thanks for sharing :)

[Anome]

Long term relationship allows people to know eachother, learn from eachother and enhance their lives. Short term may provide the same but the quality of it is unlikely as good as in the long term version.

[AnnonEMouse]

I like short term. But I do want a long term eventually.

[Anonymous]

They hurt too much - the longer they last, the more pain. But I'm going to go with none. I used to be long term too, the last I was in nearly half my life, never, ever again.

[SnowyOwl]

😢
Hope you are finding a way to heal.
❤️

[Anonymous]

Short term. I could only fall in love to a person, but only for a couple months at a time. Im only in highschool though. My mindset might change.

[Anonymous]

I hate the idea of short term romantic relationships. You may learn some life lessons, but other than that they're pointless.
Long term for the win. I've been married to my only boyfriend for 4 years now and it's been awesome.

[eMaNnUeL]

Used to like long term, short term works better for me now

[Browneye57]

If you have a successful relationship why do you want it to end?
Something just doesn't add up here.

[GraveDoll]

well said.

But on the other hand, doesn't all and everything come to an end? That inevitable too.

[Browneye57]

@GraveDoll - Of course... you die.
Been with Mrs. Browneye for thirty years now. And they said it would never last.
Yeah, we almost crashed a couple of times... but here we are, and more in love than ever, going into our golden years.

[GraveDoll]

No worries
My parents are still together. But I don't think love is like it was in their days that for sure.

Im all for the long term. Just seem the world don't believe in commitments anymore.

[Browneye57]

@GraveDoll - Not 'the world', just a few young people that really don't know any better. ;)

[GraveDoll]

and as always love your response.
Xx

[Anonymous]

Being a guy I have sexual impulses to get laid as much as possible by as many women as possible.

But that doesn’t meant it’s a good thing. I’m in a long term relationship right now and although it’s not as exciting, overall it’s nice. Just something that’s stable and reliable is a breath of fresh air.

[menina]

I would enjoy a long term relationship more. I like stability when it comes to relationships.

[thatguyfromtoronto]

If I could til the end I would, I don’t want to be involved with either if it means to get cheated on or things go south but yes I’m more of the long term relationship type.