HELP, I can't stop thinking about my professor, he's been on my mind the past week! What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Hi! I'm a freshman in college and I'm falling behind in class because I skipped some lectures like a fool. He was kind enough to offer additional help in his other classes which I gratefully accepted, but every time he comes near me and looks at my classwork progress, I feel a blush creep across the entirety of my face. I try to play stupid and pretend I'm not flustered, but both of us knew, and he played along by not calling me out on it. I acted confused when he explained, and didn't hear what he said sometimes because I was too busy thinking about him being close to me. I can't take it. I know I have a slim chance already, seeing as there's no ring on his finger, meaning either:

1. His SO is gone
2. He's career-oriented (which I think is more likely; I browsed through his work and he's written a few papers on his area of interest)
I'm not trying to get with him. I'm 2/10, not white, and have poor social skills. I wish I wasn't sometimes; I see those stories of pretty white girls seducing their professor, and making them fall head over heels for them, and I feel a deep sadness within. There's no point in trying because he would know I'm not worth the risk.

Background: My father also wasn't a part of my life because he was abusive to my mother for giving birth to me instead of aborting; I was female, and he hated being unable to "pass on" anything he had. So we left. I grew up under my mother's moods that changed faster than anyone's I've seen. I grew up brainwashed into thinking I was wrong about everything she berated me for, and although I do very much appreciate the roof she put over my head, I do not appreciate her being unable to act like a mother.

Tldr; I wanted my prof to fuck my brains out and use me then kill me while i'm still feeling bliss because i've already had too many disappointments in life, but then I started thinking about him more and now it's not just a crush based on sexual attraction.

[jemismyname]

Hi there! you know what, sounds like to me, you are in College now! You know what's waaaay more fun than living at home and going to grade school?

Going to college!

You are gonna have lots of amazing experiences and you will probably make some life-long friends! maybe you will find your way into an amazing career, or position yourself to be self-employed.. Maybe you'll fuck your professor, who knows?

The point is to truly put your mind to think about what you are wishing for, because college is a time when many doors are open at once for you. The power of your mind can bring your future to you...

In the same way, your mind can bring you problems. So please take this to heart.

I have a tiny bit of constructive criticism for you:
In your post, you have spoken about yourself in a derogatory way a number of times... Please never say bad/think/write bad things about yourself again.

None of the things about you are true unless you tell yourself they are...

2/10? That means nothing.. beauty is no number. one person sees beauty in another person...

Think about this, you can never look at your own face. you must trust the mirror or the camera or another person to tell you how you look. All 3 of these will tell you fiction based on reality!

A cat will say you look like a big hairless cat. Now feed me.

Since you can never see your own face, you are free to project your inner beauty for others. That energy that you project will have a far greater effect on how other perceive you, than your actual physical appearance.

What do you think is most beautiful? next time you think about your own appearance, think about how much you resemble the most beautiful thing or person you know. it is true that you can even look different to yourself in the mirror just by changing your own thoughts.

It might be easiest to be abstract with your self image... here is what i think... you do not look like 2/10,

I describe your beauty as 13% double rainbow mixed with 69% sparkly rock in the malibu sun and 20% blushing schoolgirl thinking sexy (which is cute because anime! :D )

As for being non-white... nobody who is worth associating with would judge you badly due to your racial heritage/ethnicity.

I think it is important to acknowledge the differences between groups of people... the differences are what make people unique, if everyone is the same, then that's boring.

many people go the extreme way and try to say, "everyone is exactly the same" but that's just delusion. Celebrate you are. Be who you are! And if you have a negative thought about yourself, release that thought, and think a new thought about how you are holding space for what you want to attract in your life!

About your teacher... seriously just get a vibrator. but, the advice of others is wrong too.. if you really actually like your teacher for sex or even relationship, that is certainly a thing that happens.

If you were to do that, i would consider waiting until after the quarter/semester is over. Make sure you know how your class is going for sure.

Try to see yourself evolving from blushing schoolgirl (which is cute) to the exotic beauty who is confident in the classroom, and her positive energy makes everyone in the room enjoy the class more (way better than cute).

If you are still wet knickers about teacher by the end of the semester, then you might consider saying something to him, maybe the last week of class. Maybe tell him you find him fascinating, and you would like to go to dinner/museum/coffee/the park, etc AFTER finals week to celebrate the end of the semester.

That way it's no pressure. class is over... you can feel it out, and there is no conflict of interests at that point. At that point, if you want to just get laid... just tell him you want to have sex... he will either go for it, or he won't.

maybe it won't go like that tho, maybe you will just have great conversation and become friends... or maybe have a real relationship...

[Asker]

"Hi there! you know what, sounds like to me, you are in College now! You know what's waaaay more fun than living at home and going to grade school?

Going to college!

You are gonna have lots of amazing experiences and you will probably make some life-long friends! maybe you will find your way into an amazing career, or position yourself to be self-employed.. Maybe you'll fuck your professor, who knows? "
okay im drooling now

[jemismyname]

hahaha

[Jaysonava]

Wow what a convoluted situation.

You have a lot of soul searching to do qbd your peofessor is not going to help with that. You need to figurecthat out internally.

Otherwise i would say to focus on your work and tey not to obsess over ghosts. Look for a real relationship not a fake one.

[Asker]

he's not a ghost he's my lecture daddy

[Jaysonava]

Hahahahaha wooooow

[Asker]

LOL :p

[Cynicaldreamer]

You know the best way to get someone off your mind?
Knowing if you don't, you are going to FAIL and possibly get kicked out of school if you don't get your act together!

So you definitely need to speak with a counselor, if your campus offers one (I know mine did when I was in school), use it! Or find some friends to help distract you and take your mind off of him, date guys around the campus... that are not your professors.

But the only thing you can really do is ignore those feelings... yeah I know, easier said than done, but think about it- do you really think it would be wise to sleep with your professor? And would that really make you feel better? No, it wouldn't. It's nothing to do with your looks, race, or anything of the sort, it's just NOT a good idea to sleep with someone that can control your grade.

That is like dating a coworker- you just don't do it because if it doesn't work out, things will be way too awkward. And sleeping with him will just make you even more attached and attracted to him, which if that is not what he wants, will only hurt you more.

[Asker]

Fair enough. Not sure if I can trust the school counselor though; won't they snitch and ask someone to "check up" on me?

[Logorithim]

Get him off your mind. Get tutoring from someone else and talk to other guys.

[Asker]

I have poor social skills and tutoring from someone else isn't an option.

[jemismyname]

@Asker
hey, you are posting on GAG now, I'm sure your social skills will be butterfly-status irl by the end of the year... we will help you! Ganbatte!!

Also, you will probably find that there are free tutoring resources at your college, if you ask around... Maybe if you ask your teacher, sometimes there will be group tutoring for a class from a TA once a week. Some professors forget to make sure everyone knows about these things. I would check it out.

or you might can find a study group of people in your class and join them. Sometimes it is much easier to study with a friend... even just ask some random person in your class if they want to go to the library to study together. or ask somebody that seems friendly to you...

ha, or if you want a strategy: virgos are great for this, if you can find out people's birthdays in your class, try to get a virgo study buddy... they will stay in the library all day long if you want.

If you go at it with someone, you will be likely to encourage each other to keep up with the class!

[Asker]

@jemismyname Hi jem, thanks. Not a weeb or overly fake-happy kinda person. I added the extra !! and? for effect so it would garner more attention. I'll keep your advice in mind though; will try and contact someone else in the class and see what happens. Hopefully they don't misinterpret it as interest if i ask if we could "study at the library together" but who knows, most of the classmates are guys cus of my course.

[chimeara]

Here is what you do since your grades and degree take priority over all else at this stage in your life. Go to your room and flick the bean like your life depending on it while fantasizing about your prof and leave it at that. Do all of your assignments as well as you can and ignore your impulses that can affect your livelihood. If you must find a booty call from a student at school. Believe it or not there are lots of horny students at college that may help you release sexual tension. I know I know this is a startling revelation but its true.

[BirdFan360]

His career could be ended if he dose what you want, so it's probably not gonna happen. He'll very likely, even if he was interested, say no.

Also, relating to the skin color thing: My personal opinion is that the color is just that. Color. Don't limit yourself because of this reason. Yes, there are people that care about that, but they're fewer in number now than ever before. Believe in yourself, bud. I'm rooting for ya!

[jemismyname]

that's a good thing to note about skin color, if you are minor ethnicity at your school, then that just makes you exotic... that makes you more interesting because you aren't as much like everybody else...

[Asker]

@jemismyname there's a lot of my race around, feels bad

[wankiam]

crush or more its very unlikely to ever happen anywhere other than in your head so see it for what it is... a fantasy and if its one that gets you horny then use it to masturbate lots and lots. you are free to fuck your own brains out

[Asker]

dang :(

[wankiam]

i know right ;)

[Asker]

are you a professor too? :>

[wankiam]

no... just wise lol

[jemismyname]

aaaayyy on the subject, ya know... wish. com has a plethora of battery-powered "substitute teachers" for super cheap...

they aren't very good lecturers, but they provide plenty of "haptic feedback" where you need it most!

wink wink, nudge nudge :)

seriously tho... it might be helpful if you can at least spend some quality time with your hand an hour or two before this class... That will help you think with your head instead of your hoo-ha during class :)

[Asker]

aw :(

[Asker]

@jemismyname this is useless!!! >:(

[jemismyname]

I'm just sayin

[Asker]

@jemismyname he can be my hand ;)

[Uncut]

Stay clear of this. If he is smart he would not let anything happen. Somthing like this could ruin his career

[Asker]

ree :(

[Thatsamazing]

I don't know what you mean "what do I do." You just live your life and... yeah. There you go.

[Asker]

can't i u kno
wink at him or something

[HereIbe]

You don't want to be killed. You want to be passed around until you pass out.

[jemismyname]

she wants to be a doobie?

[HereIbe]

@jemismyname, pretty much, a "seamstress for the band".

[jemismyname]

ohhh, she can sew too? She's so talented!! :D

I have a hole in my pants, but i don't have a band right now

[Anonymous]

Get him off your mind he is too old for you anyways

[Silvius]

Have sex with but dont say a word to anyone

[Asker]

that's less likely to happen if i'm still doing his classes.

[jemismyname]

I think you should definitely wait till class is over before you do anything at all... only maybe smile or a light touch when you talk to him at office hours or whatever... and not a pat-pat on the pants, OK?
like, he says something funny, you laugh and smile, and look him in the eyes and gently touch his arm or something stupid like that.

If he never says anything funny, you shouldn't have sex with him, anyway!

you want class to be a fun smooth experience for everyone... Even if it works out for you, you don't want to be Shinbo from Chobits, for the sake of your classmates! :D

i mean if this guy is single professor it's totally conceivable that he would love to fuck you @Asker, and there is at least a decent chance that he might even be OK at sex. you never know, this situation might have even come up before... don't get jealous, he could be professor ho-cakes... prolly not, but maybe.

Actually, i think i know who could help you with some real-world advice. My highschool girlfriend has probably had sex with at least 29 of her college professors.

(god that just sounded wrong)

lol, I am referring to the girl who was my highschool girlfriend when we were both in highschool. (not my current highschool girlfriend, haha)

Anyway, she is one of the most sexually forward women on earth... she will at least have a relatable anecdote (or 9), also, since she prefers college to real-world, she, like me... has been going to school practically her entire life. She knows the answer!! I will get back to you

[Silvius]

Believe me, im a teacher too

[jemismyname]

@Silvius

you two are making me want to become a college teacher :D

i kid i kid

so, you think it's better to not wait till the class is over?

waiting seems like the path of least resistance... although she said she skipped class a couple of times and everybody knows where that path leads...

I guess becoming intimate with teacher could score her a Prrriiiiiiivate Lesson so that she stays *abreast* of the class material...

Not *bonus* points for extracurricular activities...

somebody stop me...

Silvius, do you think that sex with a student would tend to make her a better student in the class or more engaged?

... with the class material, i mean, of course.

I'm gonna go become a 70s British sitcom writer, now.

[Silvius]

More involved

[Asker]

@jemismyname omg haha you guys are funny
im an ugly Asian but thanks for the thoughtful discussion. i dont think he'd like me lmao but who knows what if the universe smiled on me today?
he hasn't replied to my emails after i talked about my brows in one of them :(

[Silvius]

Dont worry, you look perfect, men notice other things

[Asker]

what do they notice? the flatness of their student? how slow they are?

[Silvius]

Your needs

[Silvius]

Your shapes

[Asker]

oh my

[Silvius]

Try me

[jemismyname]

@Asker

there is no such thing as an "ugly asian" ... just ask my brothre! according to my him, all Asian girls are automatically prettier just because they are Asian... he calls it "asian points"

"Asian" is not a very descriptive term, by the way, what's your Asian persuasion anyway?

[Asker]

are you a high school teacher?

[Asker]

@jemismyname am chinese. least attractive out of all the others because westerns dont fetishize us because they dig only kpop and jpop

[jemismyname]

@Asker I know what you are saying... I hear a lot of ignorant/racist statements from people in the US about china...

if it makes you feel better, i am a huge fan of China! I always try to tell my friends all the good things i know about china and the chinese, when they make ignorant comments to me.

I especially love to read "tao te ching", "i ching" and other, taoist texts and I also love the ancient Chinese texts on sex such as the "Su Nu Ching." China knows sex better than anyone, and always has! I have the china fetish!! :)

[Asker]

@jemismyname haha thanks. xD