Why are "nice guys" seen as boring?

[StellarDrift]

Why are "nice guys" seen as boring? And I suppose by "nice" I mean the genuine guys, not the scheming guys who think being kind should earn them sex or a date/partner, or some other favour. First off, what is your definition of nice guy, and why might he be boring if he is? [Sad] pic possibly related (though I see a real "nice guy" as actually just a decent human being). There are many articles about this online but the community's opinion probably counts more.

[EmoKate97]

No offense to the OP, but this entire point is so lame and people misunderstand it so badly and its mostly guys who are mad girls won't date them that keep using this stupid "muh nice guy" excuse to hate on women. And i'll prove how stupid this point is with 3 word;
Chill
Alright
Cool
ALL 3 of these words are basically slang for "nice guys" and girls like guys who are chill, alright and cool and chill, cool, alright guys are usually not boring. This whole "muh nice guy" shit is guys who are boring and lame trying to fall back on their lack or risk taking, their lack of self-esteem, their lack of ambition for being a nice guy. There's a lot of homeless people who are nice, why don't you hang out with them? Hey, would you date an overweight girl who desperately wants a man? No? Guess what dummy, YOU'RE NOT A NICE GUY THEN! BOOM, be quiet with your "buy girls only like bad boys who are fun and interesting" because only insecure girls who come from bad families fall for serial killers and gangsters same as chubby chaser men. Those are a minority of girls. Generally women love nice guys / chill guys who don't start drama or aren't emotional nor complain like we do.

Sick of this subject man, its so lame bro. People DON'T see nice guys as boring, you're just making it seem like that because the people who go on about how nice guys get the short end of the stick are boring people.

[StellarDrift]

No offense taken. Actually saw this comment elsewhere and was curious as to why people seem to subscribe to this way of thinking. in my opinion, people should just be who they are and leave it as that instead of worry about labels, being rejected and dwelling on why, etc. If you're a decent person, nothing else matters. Some will accept, some will reject, whether you're an asshole to others or a boyscout/girlscout.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

"There's a lot of homeless people who are nice, why don't you hang out with them? Hey, would you date an overweight girl who desperately wants a man? No? Guess what dummy, YOU'RE NOT A NICE GUY THEN"

Spot on. They typically treat others under them like trash.

[Lightning8]

I dated an overweight girl. She was working on it but at the time hit a plateau. I didn't care and committed. But she was the one with commitment issues.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I don't get it.

How does having standards regarding physical appearance mean you're not nice?

[AuroraRoseat]

You can't assume "nice guys" are all the same (in physicality, height etc.). A nice guy is an individual with a (subjective) pleasant personality. That's it. They can be attractive or unattractive. This is the issue that I think many women have.

Many of us want nice guys. We want them to be attractive too. There is nothing wrong with that. It's similar to how men want an attractive woman with a personality that he likes.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

LOL... Well, the way I understand it. There seems to have two definition of nice guys.

#1: The nice guy that is a lame, doesn't care to do anything daring which often times is fun, doesn't have a back bone and is fervent in PC lest he offends which translates to boring personality.

#2: This nice guy treats people with respect, likes to socialize and is endearing to lots of people because he has charisma and has a little bit of date devil in Him which translates to fun and isn't scared to be himself.

Let's face it the 1st guy I described is a boring type of dude.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

*dare devil

[FakeName123]

Because a good chunk of niceguys lack a spine to have any edges in their personality. They jsut try hard to appeas to everyone rather than having principles and standing their ground. Their are wusses.

If you have principles, stand your gorund and stick up to yourself, you WILL have instances where you aren't nice. Sometimes you need tob e confrontational and disagreeable or else you are just a doormat.

[jennifer_bloom]

Its not nice guys that are boring - its the nice guys who are nice out of fear of man and mental passiveness and not out of a desire to be respectful and kind to others. If a guy is nice but nice because he cares and respects others and not because he is afraid of getting into trouble for being mean - he will be very attractive to woman.

[TheFlak38]

bullshit.

[ShortCircuit]

"Nice guys" are not seen as boring. Boring guys are seen as boring. It isn't that women despise kindness for fuck's sake. It's that kindness alone isn't enough to make someone an interesting, unique, individual. Why should a woman date a guy who's only redeeming quality is being "nice" when there are millions of other guys out there who are just as "nice", but also attractive (because they take care of their appearances), confident, ambitious, hard-working, and have hobbies and passions?

The take away: Continue being nice. Stop being boring. They are not mutually exclusive, and women (justifiably) expect both.

[hellacray]

Well I think it's because they don't seem adventurous or they're not fun.

Personally I don't like going to clubs, bars, music festivals, and just about any place that's really loud and filled with excessive amounts of alcohol.

Cause well I don't drink often and people would consider me to be boring or I'm missing out in life.

I'm a simple person and I think if you're with the right people, even a trip to Ikea could be considered fun.

So... You know it's just the way people are and that's unfortunate.

[sarahburberryy]

nice=kind , it isn't something to be worried about , unless that's the only thing that a man is being viewed as. What i mean is a man has to work on himself , set boundaries and assert himself but that doesn't mean acting like a "d**" Like many men think they should.

[Kaazsz]

Why not give a real life example to demonstrate your point?

[sarahburberryy]

look around and see for yourself.

[Kaazsz]

I’m not being mean. I’m looking for more perspective.

[sarahburberryy]

@Kaazsz who said u were? lol
the point is : have you ever seen a man who assert himself, has values , cool , calm and has other qualities than "being nice" be treated like shit? i'm sure we all know at least one or two of these men in our social circle. ;)

[btbc92]

There is a major difference between nice versus someone that is kind. Nice is what's expected of you. Being kind is what's in your heart. For those reasons that's why being nice comes off as being fake and it's true.

[Kaazsz]

I’m just wondering if you could put it in real life terms. Every concept we form is something that exists and has action in the real world. It would be very helpful to get an example or two to demonstrate. If possible.

[sarahburberryy]

@btbc92 no need to be philosophical on the matter, people get called kind all the time and it's not that of a big deal.

[Kaazsz]

I think it would be helpful for us men if y’all put it into action.

I feel there is a disconnect between us. This will help but I can’t explain why. Wish I could get some cooperation with y’all females sometimes lol. I want to know y’alls perspective but I need to see it in action.

[sarahburberryy]

@Kaazsz LOL
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" , do you know that book? :p or have you ever heard of it?

[Kaazsz]

Just wish to communicate with y’all guess I’m doing it wrong I’ll stop replying

[sarahburberryy]

@Kaazsz you don't get it, do you? x) it's a "real book" that speaks about "real life examples" on how different men are from women. I believe there is a pdf version on line. it's a great book!

Now back to the point i was trying to make , i think i gave a pretty clear accurate explanation really , i don't seem to get what else do you want me to say , mention names maybe? haha
anyways , if you let's say have nothing special to offer , pretty easy to manipulate, shaky values and you hardly assert yourself but you are "nice" or kind or whatever you want to call it in that concept. Do you think that's enough to attract or be with a woman?

[Kaazsz]

I’ll check out the book I think it looks very interesting.

I read a mytake yesterday. Some girl talking about this guy she fell in love with. It was long as fuck and I read it all.

She described every encounter with him. What actions he did, how she felt, what she did, how he reacted, day to day week to week. It was eye opening about how women see us men and become attracted.

So I’m looking for the opposite. Some sort of real life scenario painted with the purpose of projecting these concepts such as “easily manipulated” onto reality so that we can all share the same concept, rather than us having to guess what you mean by “easily manipulated.” Maybe to you, it should mean the same to me, but it doesn’t.

[sarahburberryy]

@Kaazsz That's great ! send it to me so i can read it too.

Well yeah , u right. although i believe i have a reasonable definition of "easily manipulated" or at least we can agree on some points :p

what do you think "easy manipulated" means?

[Kaazsz]

I have no idea what it means lol. I don’t know if I’ve been manipulated. I certainly haven’t done any manipulation. I haven’t seen it in real life. Maybe I read about it in books. I read a story about a teenage girl who was groomed to be a prostitute. He dated the girl from age 13, he was like 25 abusing his age over her. Made her believe he loved her for like 8 years straight until one day she realized she was sucking mad dicks and fucking mad guys and didn’t know how the hell she got to that point. That may sound crazy but when you read the story it’s perfectly logical. That’s the only manipulation I know lol.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

Nice has become Agreeable
No woman wants an agreeable guy. Women hate men they can easily control, or see as controllable. So if you are pragmatic and agreeable its a turn off.

Women want a leader, they want to be controlled. They just want a strong man to do the controlling not a nice guy.

So in a sense, nice guys are boring, because they dont create any conflict.

[Isten]

It does injustice for you to deem niceness are your greatest quality. Most people are nice to certain degrees, so just being nice doesn't make you special. This is why I don't have the best view on "nice" people. You are more than just nice for sure! And if you aren't, then that's kinda sad.

[9teen]

I don't like 'nice guys', because they're so selfless. It feels like he is my servant, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I prefer a guy who makes clear what he wants and who doesn't neglect himself in the process of treating me well. I like the excitement and I like challenges. I like quality men.

That being said, I would never date the trash we call 'bad guys'. Respect, manners and (mental) maturity are very important to me.

[MackToday]

The're only boring to low IQ THOTs. The dumber a person is the more it will take to entertain them. If you're not jumping motor cycles or getting into bar fights, dumb girls aren't going to notice you. They don't have the brains to pay very close attention to the world around them.

[Jan_Classic]

Why "nothing special" guys are "nothing special"? Maybe because there's nothing special in that? Like born, grown, old, dead? No black jack and hoes in the middle?

Why is that sh1t ever asked? Everyone wants Moar free credit for the "shy", "nice", "good", "normal", "caring", "loving", "sensitive" human waste.

U get nothing b'coz u expect it for free, dum assez!!!

[purplepoppy]

Let's put it simple. Would you date a cop or a criminal, a prison guard or an inmate, a soldier or a terrorist? All examples of good guy v badboy types

[StellarDrift]

Oddly, from what I've seen... it'd even more complicated than that. But for some reason, I've noticed people judge others on face value... something I've come to appreciate not doing.

[LuWe22]

Nice Guys have a kind soul, are caring towards their girlfriend and would never cheat. I love nice guys. I can't stand Drama Queens, Machos or "Alphas". He is not boring at all gives a lot of effort in the relationship and always make sure that I cum when we have sex.

[dwiller943]

Exactly!! Nice guys are amazing and selfless.

[genericname85]

because girls want to feel "secure". they can't feel secure with a nice guy, cause he's just nice to everyone. they can only feel secure if a guy is only nice to them but not to anybody else. insecure girls don't date nice guys. and then also being always nice is kind of monotonous. so yeah you can't avoid being boring if you're nice. that's why women love to create drama.

[stormbreaker06]

cuz they are. they don't set rules, fight for themselves, say no, they praise and smother the girl, to be nice in the context of dating is boring dude.

Women rather fight with you for having a different opinion than to agree with them to make them happy.

[stormbreaker06]

women love a fighter. Not a passive pussy puss.

[stormbreaker06]

even if a women says they hate violence and fighting, but if you fight she will love you.

[Sonorous]

You don't think nice guys can have those qualities?

[stormbreaker06]

@Sonorous there are different degrees of nice put it that way for sake of argument. You can be nice and not take bullshit and not be passive or aggressive. Or you can be nice and takes bullshit and be overly passive.

As a guy I don't want an overly nice girl I want a girl that can fight.

[name_is_eric]

Because they are! Self-proclaimed nice guys are bottom-feeders.
Nobody loves a passive guy, you have to take action. Don't expect girls to date you just because you give them a shoulder to cry on, that is just pathetic. Be the alpha, go out and ask her out, take initiative and maybe then girls will start finding you interesting. The key is "confidence", and nice guys lack that because they are too nice.

[RationalMale]

Note to self--any gray shirts I have should be designated as sleeping shirts only.

Most of us were born in a summer, but it's going to end. The history of mankind has been brutal and violent--many women are instinctively aroused by men who have dominance traits and at least the capacity to kill. Simply put--the females want a mate who can kill to protect them and her offspring, and who will have tough offspring.

[normalice]

well, for one thing, 'nice' is usually a euphemism for 'unattractive.' No one comments or notices your politeness if they can't stop thinking about banging you.

[311WasAnInsideJam]

They seem like average guy friends to me. My guy friends are all nice guys.

Not the "I held the door for you, why won't you fuck me you stupid slut?" ones, though. I don't play that game.

[Anonymous]

Because he's a bitch that's not willing to get ahead by selling dope, didn't have a narcissistic family fortune passed down to him, and not one of those deceitful game running players picking up all of the we her about through urban - desperate house wive and sluts. He's simply a bitch. And a loser Pete's sake.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry - "picking up all of the woman"

[Sooshi]

Nice guys are not boring. Nice guys are the best. I think nice guys think that they are boring due to actually caring about what the next person thinks, but they might not be boring at all.

[stormbreaker06]

I dont think you know what nice guy means in dating context.

[Sooshi]

I am married to a nice guy. Best choice I ever made.

[stormbreaker06]

Is he a passive person?

[Sooshi]

Yes he is

[Sooshi]

I think you feel this way because other guys get more attention from females because they demand it. Some girls may seem like they like getting the hardest guys to like them because they feel better about themselves after. That they can make any guy like them.. Sometimes nicer guys can be more easy, and some girls like more of a challenge.

But it's mainly only like for some females.

I think it depends on your chemistry who you would attract.

It's not just you are a nice guy.

Cause nice guys mainly win.

Just wait for the right opportunity and don't give up. Everyone gets rejected and sometimes it's nothing to do with you but just that there was no chemistry.

[Sooshi]

There was this super hot guy who liked me once, but I felt SO UNCOMFORTABLE around him... Something made me feel off, so I wasn't attracted to him.

Things aren't just one way.

[stormbreaker06]

Interesting if you say so. I hear very differently.

[Giggletr0n]

Fixed it!

[skeetskeetskeet]

Because no matter what girls say they dont want to fuck nice guys... probably because they are boring ass kissers... plus every guy is nice when they are still trying to get some pussy

[Rangers]

Nice guys only get taken advantage of, don't waste your life being a bitch. Oh, my bad, a nice guy.

[Sha84]

shy, demure and unprotective. makes for terrible experience

[rapternater]

They aren't. Just don't be an /r/niceguys guy, go to therapy for any attachment issues and personality disorders, and you'll be fine

[WhereAmI]

So all guys over 6 feet are not nice guys? lol

[StellarDrift]

Nah, they're all bad boys, or... lol I'm stumped there haha. I've met some over 6 hermits and creepy (like seriously sexual harrassy dudes), and some boring ones. Pic is not totally accurate ha.

[Anonymous]

Because they aren't bad boyz

[Anonymous]

And then get to be the girl's friend but not have sex with them

[Opinion Owner]

I used to have a lot of girls say they wish they could find a guy like me but yet they don't want me

[the_imperfectionist]

That picture is hilarious

[Secret6620]

I don't think they are boring. 🤷

[LuvAsh]

That picture is so petty😂😂😂😂😭😭😭

[up_64]

Because they are. I know since I've been one.

[Liam_Hayden]

This is a description of the Friendzoned.

[scooogy]

Six feet or less? Are most people giants or what?

[sonnysunshine]

I sure as hell don’t have a fast food physique

[Hawky_]

Nice is bland... like milk

[Anonymous]

And they dont get girls easily

[Angie_Baby]

They are too shy

[DECENTSCOTTISHLAD999]

l am a Bad ass boy

[DECENTSCOTTISHLAD999]

Yes l am going to kick your ass for the down votes