My best friend is a girl that I've known for a few months, but we talk everyday sunrise to sundown. We've spent countless hours on the phone and are always there for eachother. When I first met her, I did have feelings for her and she had a boyfriend at the time, which made me very jealous and envious towards her. For a period of time, I really didn't like her for those reasons. But I learned to love her and she's the only non family member that I've said "I love you" to in a serious way. However, she's told me multiple times that she doesn't like me in a romantic way and her love for me is in a friendly way. Despite my contentment with that, whenever she starts to develop feelings for someone (I always know about it because we talk about literally everything) I get very jealous and it makes me feel sad sometimes. Should I tell her that I feel jealous?
I mean if you two are friends and you know she’s not into you in a romantic way, you telling her again about your feelings would only result into annoyance.
I had similar issue. I had a male best friend, I told him daily about how I like one guy from my school. He then tried to hit on me. That was the last thing I wanted. I tried to be nice and let him know I’m not looking for a guy atm, but he said I can wait as much as you need. He found solution for everything and it resulted in me blocking him. It’s harsh but I couldn’t get rid of him. He would be trying, it seemed like friendship was forgotten there so it was destroyed already. I couldn’t imagine myself with him ever so I had to do what I did. It’s long ago, but I’d do the same again.
There’s nothing more annoying if you love 1 particular person and someone is trynna flirt with you. I only want that dude, and if not him I don’t want anyone.
But yeah that’s the reason why I don’t believe in friendship between a girl and a guy. One will always want more and either get it or end up hurt.
Be nice with her, watch her behavior and what she tells you and if you think there’s any possibility then try... don’t just try out of nowhere, it’s dangerous.
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Asker
+1 y
Well, I really am content with being friends with her
I wouldn't. If you're truly okay with being friends then you should be supportive of her. Even friends get slightly jealous when their other friends give more time to another person. You just have to manage that on your own.
That's the question! Is he okay with being just friend with her or is it just a way to escape the fact she's not interested romantically (that's fine, happened to everyone once)? Either way, looking somewhere else when it comes to romantic relationship might be in your best interest;)
If you're fine with it add me in PM, I have an amazing book for you (free online if you take 5-15min to search the pdf). It has been very helpfull for me. I used to be very shy/introvert/unsure of myself and now I've overcome it.
Either tell her that you have feelings for her and let her reject you so that you can move on, or distance yourself from her and slowly remove her from your life completely. If she doesn't love you in a romantic way, then there isn't a point in torturing yourself everyday by watching her living her life with another guy. Start talking to other women and find some one that does care about you the same way that you care about them.
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Asker
+1 y
She's already said she wouldn't date me twice, despite the fact that I didn't ask her out
I wouldn't but that's me. She isn't going to give a damn because it's about her not about you. And the only thing you're doing by telling her that is feeding her ego.
I think you're letting your feelings for her get rhe better of you. All women are like that lol. I didn't say she was doing anything to you maliciously. And if you're good friends she probably even felt bad rejecting you. But that's kind of my point. She doesn't think of you that way. Most likely will never think of you that way ( that's not a guarantee there's a small possibility she changes her mind at some point i just don't want you to waste time hanging your hopes on that). But telling her you get jealous isn't going to do it. It's only going to either feed her ego at you expense or make her feel bad.
No. And it has nothing to do with "manning up." If she's told you she only sees you as a friend, it will make things awkward between you. Personally, if a friend told me that my first reaction would be to put some distance between us - to try to let the person's feelings cool off a bit and try to establish better boundaries of the friendship.
Either you want to remain friends with her or you dont. If you do, you need to not pressure her about a relationship. Telling her you get jealous is a form of pressure. If you dont want to only be friends and can't only be friends, put some distance between you two or call off the friendship civilly. It isn't fair to either of you.
She already knows you are jealous. Gotta laugh at the pinks talking about how friends should support each other. What a load of bs. Most men and women cannot just be friends, and this girl is simply using you for your emotional support. But it's on you for allowing it.
Funny how the pinks aren't saying ''friends shouldn't use each other''.
I know that most people are saying the opposite, but I think that you should still tell her. Even though that would probably not change her mind, telling her how you feel will make you feel way better. Like, let's say they end up dating. If you meet him and show a jealous behavior, your best friend would be aware of it and would understand why you would act negatively towards him. She could find a way to make things smoother between you and him.
Yes tell her but then ask her maybe she can help you find some one. I have been in this exact spot too many times to count. But the one that hurt the most was a gal that the timing never worked out for us. And we parted ways. Communication is important but at this point your friendship is more important. While it's hard now it will pay off in the end.
The technical terms for what you’re acting like are:
Emotional tampon. Simp. Doormat.
She’s using you for emotional support but it’s your fault for begging her to do it.
If you want to be a real man don’t waste 1 second on a woman who has a man or who says she’s not interested... assuming you want more. Not saying I never made mistakes but you don’t need to make the same mistakes if you listen
You're caught in a loop. You like her, she doesn't like you. You'll beat yourself up over her being with other guys because you can't have her yourself. I feel the same, and I recognize that this is a flaw of mine that I can't fix. So if I really like a girl, but she doesn't like me back, I can't stay close to her as a friend because inevitably when she finds a guy who she likes, it'll kill me on the inside.
It's just gonna make her feel awkward toward you. She may even start pushing you away because she knows you're struggling with your romantic feelings for her. You need to start dating others.
Yes there are. But I know how strong feelings can be that you can't possibly think of loving anyone else. Trust me. I spent 5 years being best friends with a guy I was in love with thinking I could make him love me eventually. It made total since. We spent all our time together everyday. We would go to each others family gatherings, go to the movies together, he would bring me roses letting me know I was special for no special occasion. We did everything a couple did except have sex. After 5 years and 3 attempts to see if things changed for him I had to move away just to let go of him. I tortured myself. A few years later I met my sons dad. You can move on. It just isn't easy because to you it feels so right. But at the same time your heart will keep breaking. She'll do something loving which will get your Hope's up just for your heart to break everytime you know another man is getting what you wish you could have. Don't waste 5 years like I did hun.
Then it just might not be your time. You still likely got another 60 years to find a love that loves you back. But if you think there's no other options and you want to hang on it's your life. All us gagers can do is give you advice based on our own experiences. It's up to you what you do with it. Good luck. I really hope things work out for you.
Why isn't she into you (at all) romantically? Seems like, by now she would have developed some feelings. Most girls aren't as shallow as guys. Get her to hook you up with her friends.
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Asker
+1 y
She's 6 years older, lives far away, and doesn't like "good guys".
Tell her, but in a way that does not guilt her, like telling you how you feel without taking her as responsible because, ultimately, you being jealous is YOUR problem, not hers.
It's clear that she won't date you, so you are the odd one out. If her boyfriend gir jealous of your relationship with her that'd makesense, but not really for you.
I think it's a bad idea to tell her that. I feel like if you tell her that nothing will really change. She already told you that y'all are friends. Sorry man. Maybe you should look into relationship with another girl?
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Asker
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She might talk about them less. And I've tried to, but I've been in and out of the hospital for the past two months, I have had a couple nurses flirt with me though, but that was obviously just for fun.
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