Rejection sucks. But here’s a different perspective.
Let’s say there’s a girl, let’s call her Mandy. You think Mandy is super cute.
You and Mandy are not dating. She doesn’t kiss you, she doesn’t make love to you. She doesn’t do anything with you.
If you never ask Mandy out, you’ll never date Mandy. You will likely always pine for Mandy.
If you DO ask Mandy out, she’ll either accept or reject your proposal.
If she says “no!” Then you’re not dating Mandy. Literally nothing is different from the scenario where you never asked her out. But you’re less likely to pine after her since you already know it will never happen and can move on.
If she says “yes!” Then you’re dating Mandy. Exactly what you want.
So never asking her out is 100% rejection. Even if asking her out is only a 10% acceptance rate, you’re winning if you take the risk.
Personally i say repeated rejection. I don't ask women out anymore. I wait for them to ask me and now i do the rejecting. I'll most likely alway be single as the women i have interest in just are not interested in me. But that's fine. You're reaching the age where you'll find the women that are left really are worth having.
Cheers mate!
Really are worth having? But yeah, I've been noticing that most women in my age range are married or have kids already. Seems like the only one's who don't are like 20-24, ishly. But I'm okay with a big age gap.
Sorry i meant "aren't". If they're single past 30 there's usually a reason why. Good women don't stay single.
So would you recommend dating younger?
I would recommend just vetting whoever you date. Just know the older the woman is the more s*** she's seen ( a lot of her own making but women tend to NOT take responsibility for those bad choices ) Date younger if you can swing it. It's a dbl edged sword when they're younger they're typically more immature. But their are some really good young ladies. Just be careful my man.
I meant to vote B, accidentally voted C. I think being rejected is better but not really by much. Let's face it, both options suck.
On one hand, you can't grow and achieve the life you want without trying--even though the process may take a while and hurt until you get there.
On the other hand, not trying is easier--not only does doing nothing require zero effort, but I feel it's also easier to mentally accept being alone when you realize it's by your choice, and not due to others (constant rejection).
However, the reason I think being rejected is still slightly better is because in the long run, assuming that rejections are taken as an opportunity to learn from past mistakes, grow and become better, I think enduring the rejections can lead to a more fulfilling life.
I like that. That is well thought out. I appreciate such things.
The claim I've heard is that if you actively aim to be rejected as much as possible, over time you get used to it, and it no longer hurts; as opposed to being alone--even if you realize it's by your own choice--which gets harder and harder over time or just fucks you up, as a social animal.
What would that change in your answer, were that the case?
There are lots of people out there who live content lonely lives but few who live happily with constant rejection.
... That's actually kind of a great way to look at it... *processing counter argument/none found*
Even so, I think at a certain point, if one is not content living a lonely life, then they may as well try to live a life of constant rejection. As some others have said, only need 1 success. At least as a corollary.
Opinion
26Opinion
Rejection if taken correctly can be great feedback to help you get what you are really looking for.
So YES it's always better. I have been rejected probably over 1k times. I don't have any scars LOL.
You might want to consider getting some professional dating advice to see where you're going wrong.
@purplepoppy Ha Ha Ha... don't troll!
Hey at least you tried... Because you never know unless you try.
u Fortunately, those are not your only options.
What other options are there?
You have the option of addressing the reasons for repeated rejection, making yourself a more attractive candidate to the opposite sex, and having some success in those endeavors.
Ah yes, of course. That said, one has to go through repeated rejection to get there, do they not? :P
No, repeated rejection is not an inherent part of the dating process.
Some rejection is inevitable. . . but so what? A woman does not reject you because you are an unworthy human being. She rejects you because you aren't tall enough, because you remind her of her unpleasant cousin, because you aren't on the football team, or any other number of reasons which are primarily arbitrary. When you have at least some success with dating, you learn that rejections should not define your self-worth and they become nothing more than minor annoyances.
This is not just easy BS words flowing out of my mouth. I dealt with rejection and not much success when I was younger and then I worked on myself to make me more attractive to women. It worked.
Better. At least you're trying
Is it bad that I lack the motivation to bother with finding anyone and simply accept being alone? Loneliness and being alone are 2 different things, though they are related.
I would assume it's "better" to deal with the consistent rejection, because at least you have the confidence, motivation and desire to go out and find someone rather than simply being like me and not giving a fuck. More power to those that can continue to get up over and over again after being knocked down. I truly admire that quality.
I think it is bad, man. That's exactly what I did. Accepted being alone. But in that, I never grew. It was really just hiding. And the longer you hide, the more your skills rust, the less capable you are, and the higher you have to climb once you do decide that you want someone in your life.
For me, I made the decision to be alone, and I ignored or tried to mitigate the loneliness that would pop up occasionally, or, especially: lying in bed, the desire for a warm, soft body pressed up against me, smooth legs to wrap around mine as we both drifted to sleep, etc. I used distractions and routine masturbation and porn to offset the desires. And it worked really well. I was mostly okay being alone.
For me, I think porn and consistent masturbation really killed the desire beyond all else. When you stop, it becomes a booming demand, rather than a subtle whisper.
I think quitting those gave me a great deal of motivation, not only to seek out women, but also to improve myself. So. If your lack of motivation to find anyone and simply be alone stems from fear; or, if it is making your social skills rust, making you not care about self-improvement, then I would say it's definitely a bad thing.
But, ultimately, as Jordan Peterson would say, you don't get to not pay a price. You get to choose which price you want to pay. And that is entirely up to you. For me, I regret my many years of isolation from women. As the years went on, the price got higher and higher. Got to the point where the cost of not pursuing women was too damn high.
I'm actually only like this because I genuinely have no interest in dating. I have a dreadfully low libido and I don't masturbate or look at porn often. I have no issue with my social skills and I'm more than confident when speaking to people about almost anything. It's just I don't care for a life partner. I don't feel the need for one. I honestly wouldn't even have the time for one and I've been emotionally and romantically unavailable for about 6 years now. Maybe I'll change and become available again, however only time will tell.
Do you have depression?
Hmm, I'm unsure. I don't honestly feel much of anything most of the time and I'm mostly detached from my emotions. I don't feel sad, and I'm not happy, but I'm also not angry or anything. I'm a middle level. Not exactly content though.
Any traumatic experiences as a youth?
Other than sport based accidents, not that I can recall. I honestly don't remember much of my past.
Tht's quite abnormal, then. :O What about sex drive?
Very low. I don't have a strong desire for sex.
But still existent? You are attracted to women? Men? Trees?
More or less so. I appreciate the female form. I appreciate the male form, however, I do not find men appealing.
So, not asexual, just low sex drive. Are you low on the social dominance hierarchy? Are you successful or the exact opposite?
Yes. Which is why I mentioned the really low libido.
Honestly I don't get out much, but I can sway just about anyone to my side with my charm. When I worked in customer service, I never had a problem helping a customer or helping them leave in a better mood they came in with.
I'm not hugely social, but I have no issues speaking to people. I am introverted and I don't have a reason to go out of my way to have a conversation.
I'm well liked in my neighborhood.
Can you handle watching people getting seriously hurt, or are you squeamish or offput by it?
Doesn't bother me until I hear and see bone break. Bones, skeletons in general... The splintering sound they make when they break is just so ugh. I don't know. Don't really have words to fully describe that. Same goes for insects. I hate having to crush one because they sound disgusting...
You may be interested in taking the revised Hare PCL-R psychopathy checklist. A few things seem to indicate to me that you might be psychopathic.
Does that sound possible? Do you feel empathy for other people? Hurt when they hurt, happy when they're happy?
I don't believe i feel empathy well. I feel sympathy for those that I care about, and the innocent.
Yeah. You could be a psychopath. I've known a few in my time.
Here's the test if you want to find out if you *could* be a psychopath. Keeping in mind that in order for an official diagnosis, you'd need a psychologist to provide you with it.
http://vistriai.com/psychopathtest/
I'm definitely not a psychopath. I'm an introverted loner that is detached from their emotion due to past relationships and problems that arise because of emotional decision making. My emotions have never brought me any benefit. I am a selfish person, however I do things for people because it makes me feel good. If they appreciate the act, then it's a win/win. Most of what I do is for my own benefit, but in the end, who else is there but yourself? Eh. I'm certain I'm not a psychopath, but there's no reason to go online for some nonsensical diagnosis of what my lack of interest in dating could possibly mean. It just means that I have other priorities. We may be social animals, but aside from reproducing, there is no reason to have a romantic partner. That's the gist of it.
Fair enough.
Brother, it is good that you are trying. But if you are dealing with constant rejection, you might want to rethink your strategy.
To All the Men Who Think They Have Been Friendzoned, Passed Over, etc. Here is a Little Advice... ↗
It was more a tongue in cheek answer. I'm pretty knowledgeable on the game. :P Thanks, though. I checked it out. Pretty good. Something a lot of men could stand to learn from. Especially the pedestalizing of women.
Tongue in cheek question*
I’m rejected a lot. And most of the time, it’s very lonely.
I’m constantly getting rejected more in the sense of knowing that there is absolutely no way that (most women, but this one in particular, too) would ever go for me. It sucks trying to flirt and getting sneered at or an eye roll.
I’ve done it without flirting or being kind, just... “She’s pretty. But she’d never talk to a dude like me.” To know that in my head is depressing. But if I do nothing, it’s only slightly better than actually getting a nasty look. But not by much.
And the loneliness is still there. But with constant rejection, that really sucks because there might still be that loneliness, but there’s also this feeling of hurt knowing that she thought you were a piece of crap just by saying hello or for smiling at her, let alone a very personal, long involved thing about how worthless I am.
A person can never succeed if they don't try. The key to everything is to keep trying and to learn from your failures. If you never fail, you never learn. And the possibility of success makes all the failure in the world worth it.
To say it another way, "Quitters are losers."
This is the saying, and is very try in all scenarios: YOU CAN'T WIN IF YOU DON'T PLAY.
At least with repeated rejection, there is a chance of a win, if one continues to try.
I feel that repeated rejection feels more liberating. I thought loneliness was better until I realised how much it was affecting me inside.
I used to be super shy from girls, I would never even go say 'hello' to any in fear of rejection. But once I somehow I developed some courage to go into the game field, it made me mentally happier, even if I get rejected often. The more I attempted to seduce women, the thicker skin I grew, the more I laugh at rejection and the less I gave a fuck.
Both of them suck but you can learn from rejection by what not to do or which kind of person not to choose. Being alone is a time of self reflection. The really important thing is how much you care about either given situation.
Why push the issue? Just meet, and talk, and have a pint. No expectations, no fear, nothing, just meeting someone, not knowing them, chatting them up in a pub.
If something happens, and you connect, great!
If not, maybe just a pint and a good chat! Tomorrow is another day, and plenty of fish in the sea!!
I think that repeated rejection is way better because knowing that u actually put urself out there is more satisfying than releasing ur become lonely and the res nothing u can do
Repeated rejection is WAY better because you are much closer to a connection with someone than you would be through perpetual loneliness
I'd rather be lonely and keep my pride then throw myself at women that have oceans of men to choose from. I'm not playing into that game.
Objectively worse and detrimental to your mental health
Objectively worse how?
Not perception, but an actual negative effect on it.
I don't think about rejection. I know i will be rejected😂
Baaaah, you're lookin' good man. Got some meat on your arms. There will be a point when you won't get rejected, for sure. ^-^ Keep up the good work!
Good man. :D The Church Of Iron appreciates your patronage, I'm sure. ^-^
Rejection is horrible and makes you want to accept loneliness because it makes you feel you can't get anyone
Way worse. You can't miss something if you never had it.
While it's hard, it is always good to put yourself out there. It only takes one person to change your life.
I mean you never end up wondering”what if” because it’s clear how they feel. But it can affect your self esteem.
Rejection doesn't really bother me much anymore since I'm emotionally unavailable as it is.
Its worse. As not only are you lonely but you are reminded that you are unwanted on top of that
I don't know. I don't really desire things like relationships so the rejection thing doesn't resonate with me.
Care to elaborate ? Repeated regeneration could be understood as - stalking someone constantly... or do you refer to different subjects of desire?
Despite that , referring to chance , the more you try , the bigger the chance.
I thought the former is one of the factors that leads to the latter.
some feminazis need to learn that actions have consequences
Slightly better because at least you tried.
I prefer loneliness since it means I'll die sooner
I felt like that when I was your age, too. 5 years in the 20s is a long time. A lot can change. So maybe just put a pin in that and see how you feel when you're 30. ^-^;
No one wants to die. They want a good life. And they just don't think they can have one. But you can, if you set your mind to it and work hard to develop yourself and do just 1 thing today that will make you better than you were yesterday. ^-^
There's no hope left
There is always hope, if you're alive. Even if some paths are cut off to you, others are available. None of us know what the future could bring. Unless you actively try to make it worse, in which case, that's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you want it to be hopeless?
Loneliness suckssss 😥
Those are not mutually exclusive.
Its worse...
Yeah it is better.
Worse
Way better.
50/ 50
MGTOW is the way
dunno 2bh.
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