There are so many young guys at GaG who have voiced this issue of the "friendzone". Some of you have talked about being nice guys and getting passed over. Others have talked about themselves not having confidence, being ugly, having low self-esteem, and not having any luck with women.
Well, I would have thought there was a "Take" that would have explained all of this to you by now. But I guess not. So let me give you a list of pointers.
1. If you want to find better luck in love or better luck with meeting women stop listening to women.
Women know just as little about what makes them attracted to a man as men know about what makes them attracted to a woman. They can't help you. They can't guide you. They can only give you the same line about wanting a nice guy, a guy who respects them, etc., etc., while you sit and watch them be attracted to men who are neither nice nor respectful.
2. Your low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low opinion of yourself is not sexy.
It is not even remotely attractive. It does not make women want you or like you. It might make them feel sorry for you. But most women are not about to have a romantic relationship with a guy they feel sorry for. I know this is an easy trap to fall into when you are a man. You look into the mirror and you just want to hate that face staring back at you. I know. I have been there! But those feelings will have you wandering through your life alone. You will end up being cut off from everyone.
3. The friendzone. If a woman puts you in the friendzone, you can't blame her for staying in the friendzone. Get out!
If you are pursuing a woman and she rejects you but offers friendship. Just be her friend with no more expectations of romance. Or tell her you wanted something more and leave. In other words. . .be a man! Tell her what you want, be open and honest, then deal with the consequences. If she pretends to be vague or feigns ignorance, just assume that is NO. Move on!
4. The most important thing. Women like men who attract other women! I would have thought this was common knowledge by now.
So since that is true. Don't just approach your "crush" and hopes she likes you. Always date a few women. If you are young, I would suggest dating many. None of this has to be serious. You don't even have to be attracted to them. Go to the movies with them, go bowling, skating, to the zoo, park, play sports, go to the bar, have a group of women you can go out with. And always focus on having fun, laugh, smile, flirt. . .all the while, keeping your crush in the loop. Even if it does not work, more than likely you will eventually meet someone where the feelings are mutual. But you will find it easier to ask your crush out on a date and you will find she will be more open to your advances.
5. Stop pretending that women are not shallow.
They are just as shallow as you are. You are sexually attracted to women. Don't pretend women are not sexually attracted to men or have very shallow standards when it comes to evaluating men. Stop putting them on a pedestal with regards to behavior. They are only human, albeit very beautiful humans. Sure, you can meet that one in a million woman who is simply not going to fall for the hype. Who is looking for a man with beautiful soul, sharp intellect, etc. But how many of you have met her?
6. Dress nicely, groom and develop yourself.
Develop your interests. You could learn to speak a different language. Travel, if you can to different parts of your country or internationally if you get the chance. If you have an interest such as physics, wine tasting, card tricks, anything. . .develop it as much as you can. You always want to present a 3-D image of yourself. You want to be seen as diverse, worldly, and knowledgeable. If you don't have money to buy nice clothes, make sure you are always clean and present a well kept image. You can't go around looking like you don't care about how you look. Because you will project an aura that you simply do not care about yourself.
7. Understand that this is your responsibility and you can accomplish this goal. But you can blame no one for being alone.
Robert Hoge was born with severe birth defects and lost both of his legs. His wife is absolutely stunning. They have a child together. So if he can do it so can you! We are men. It is our responsibility to approach women. We have to take the risks. So we have to develop a strategy that kind of protects us from becoming depressed, frustrated, etc. after being turned down. This world is not kind to us. But it doesn't owe us anything either. So accept this responsibility. Stop whining about it. Just do what we do. Devise a plan and execute it.
8. And it would help to be attracted to women who are good people.
Face it. Some of you guys get all caught up in the attractiveness thing and you project good behaviors and traits onto some very bad people. If you can at least find a way to be attracted to women who are nice, kind, and good-hearted, that will be at least half the battle. It is much easier to get a nice person to notice you, than a woman who is just a horrible, horrible, horrible human being.
9. Finally, if you get good at the game, don't become a jerk.
Remember what your goal is. You want to find someone you can love and who will love you. We all want to love someone who has good character, etc. But we are human beings, we project those characteristics onto people we find attractive. Honor your claim. If you are a man of good character, then be that. Just in addition, adopt behaviors that will lead you to love. This isn't being anymore deceptive than a peacock displaying its feathers. You have to learn which behaviors and traits will attract the women you wish to date.
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