Ask. If your not reading the body language right or if she isn't 100% comfortable or emotionally prepared to do this, you should always ask if it is okay to kiss them.
Same goes for girls, they shouldn't just kiss a guy, they should ask if he is okay with it.
I feel like this only matters on the first kiss and even then it only applies to certain girls in certain situations. In my experience I'm free to go for a kiss anytime (well depends on the situation and mood) AFTER I've already cleared the first kiss hurdle.
It's really attractive when a guy asks, or even just says 'I really want to kiss you right now' and then goes for it. There's something about it that makes me feel special.
There is this tention that builds up, a small touch of the hand, sitting close, long eye contact. And a lingering hug with a pause right intro of your face after the hug. That is when you go for the kiss, that is when it's a sure bet. Otherwise it's just a gamble.
Ask or let her do it, nowadays so many girls are just looking to be victims it’s safer if you let the women do the initiating of physical contact plus it lets you know if she really likes you. Either she kisses you or none at all guys need to quit caving in
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Asking is always the right option. And it doesn't make you a wuss or less of a man. Some ladies don't know what they want but it doesn't give you the right to decide for them. My first kiss was stolen by someone I'm not even in an exclusive relationship with. I was so mad and disgusted especially since someone saw it and made an entirely different story. Maybe some girls are into it unlike me. All you have to do is ask beforehand. Like if you can kiss her on random occasions. Or directly before a kiss. Do not ever make a move that would put the girl in a bad place.
"Some ladies don't know what they want but it doesn't give you the right to decide for them." Honestly, and this might sound kinda non-PC, but every girl I've dated in any capacity was giving off vibes that she kinda wanted me to "decide" it for her. I'm not talking in a rapey way or anything, but it seems that lot of women don't know what they want until it's actually happening. Like, if a girl texts a guy and says "I'm going to make out with you at 8pm this evening", he'll be walking high all day and looking forward til the clock strikes 8. If a guy texts that to a girl, she'll probably find a way to avoid being alone with him come 8pm. Because she doesn't know if she wants to be kissed or not... until she's *actually being kissed*. Just my observation ofc, I don't claim to speak for all women lol
Some girls are put off when you ask that question, but you can always rely in body language. Try to get closer to her face, slowly, that way she can know you want to kiss her, and that gives her time to reject the kiss and move her face. I personally prefer if they ask me.
Now I don't condone forcibly pushing yourself onto someone or anything like that, but I must say it sounds so boring and turn offish. Like imagine saying 'can I kiss you' , 'can I do this' 'can I do that'.
Honestly if you're a person that likes your personal space and don't want your partner to touch you without your permission just don't be in a relationship, what's even the point?
And I'm pretty sure women don't like that stuff either and they wouldn't like to ask their boyfriend before touching them either. Half the fun in the relationship is random grabs, teasing etc.
I think it's actually really romantic to ask first, and it's a great way to show respect. It doesn't have to feel awkward at all if you explain you feel she's so very special/hot/beautiful/etc. , could you please kiss her...
Personally I'd prefer that I just go for it. Obviously I need at least a few subtle hints for her to show that I am interested. When I am with her out on a date and if I see that she is interested then I am going for it lol. It kinda is a turn off when you have to ask.
It is basically reading the persons body language and situation, usually im the one that makes the first move and i tend to just go for it when the situation seems right
Asking for a kiss? Sorry but it's not a job, you don't have to ask authorization in 2 copies signed by the Ministry of Kisses. Seriously we're leaving in such a shitty time for love. We're so ruined by political correctness and fear of being labeled as rapist or whatever that nothing is natural. The right time for a kiss is set by the mood, the atmosphere. You kiss when you feel it's time. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's all there is to it.
I'd say do not ask verbally, but lean in for it slowly enough so they can still back off if they want to. Orrr... you can do it like my boyfriend did and spontaneously jump across the room on top of me 🤣
@genericname85 depends on the woman I'd say. But yea knowing each other well enough beforehand might help aswell, I would have probably run away screaming if he did it without us being friends for years xD
@genericname85 I do not really believe in the concept of the "friendzone" tbh. Or at least, not in the way many seem to do. For me, you're only in the friendzone if you've been specifically turned down with a "I only see you as a friend". Until that happens, you are just... friends.
well if he never made any attempts at taking it to more than friendship, then there's never a point where you really say "i only see you as a friend". you'd only say that if he asks you out or confesses his feelings. if he never did that and you do see them as a friend and suddenly he does that, how would that be? xD
@genericname85 well, you cannot "friendzone" someone you are just friends with unless they specifically tell or show you that they want more. Otherwise, your friends of the same gender would be considered to be in the friendzone aswell which is kind of ridiculous.
ugh -.- so you never had a guy that you KNEW would never be more a friend from your point of view then? of course your friends of the same gender are also in the friendzone except you're gay/bi and would consider them for more.
@genericname85 just because you never thought of a friend in a certain way doesn't mean that this can't change in my opinion. So in your opinion, friendship doesn't exist, since everyone you know regardless of gender, age and anything else is just someone you either include or exclude from your group of potentional partners?
no you get me wrong. i mean you get to know them as a friend and you know immediately that you're not attracted so they won't ever be more than a friend from your perspective.
of course friendship exists. someone who's in my friendzone is still my friend. it just means i won't fuck them or date them xD that goes for all of my male friends and most of my female friends. the difference is that they probably don't wanna fuck me, so it's mutual.
@genericname85 but then friendzone doesn't mean anything else besides friendship xD so why would this word even exist? I do not see it as an one-sided attraction, but one-sided romantic feelings. And unless you know about these feelings you cannot know if they exist, are one sided, or are mutual. Pretty much a Schroedingers cat kind of thing xD And for me, the attraction to someone very well can change over the course of several years. For better or worse.
pay attention to the point of view. being in the friendzone is different depending on the point of view.
so if you're all in each others friendzone, everything is fine. the problem arises, whe it's one sided. so they actually wanna fuck or romance you but you don't.
so imagine 2 guy friends of yours. 1. that guy who jumped to kiss you and 2. another friend that you're not attracted to at all, cause you think he's ugly or whatever. imagine the second one did the same the first one did.
@genericname85 if the second one did it then I'd tell him that I do not feel the same for him as he does for me. At that point we can either remain friends (which would make him be in my "friendzone") or we decide that our friendship cannot work anymore and then he's neither freindzoned nor my friend.
"at that point we can either remain friends" which is the definition of the friendzone "or decide that our friendhip cannot work" which is how you usually solve those things.
in my opinion asking makes it super awkward. you guys aren't fucking i dont see why there should be "consent" to lean in and give it a go. usually consent is given through eye contact. if they dont want it then they will turn away.
Tell that a lawyer and he will tell you from a legal perspective its not considered a consent. It should not be asked off a man to put himself at legal risk if you really love him, instead you should make life as easy as possible for those you love.
Hmm... i tend to lean in, slowly for a kiss, if theyre being flirty & if im sure that they want it. And i give them enough time to pull away, just in case if they dont want it. And I'd apologise if they didn't want to be kissed.
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102Opinion
Ask.
If your not reading the body language right or if she isn't 100% comfortable or emotionally prepared to do this, you should always ask if it is okay to kiss them.
Same goes for girls, they shouldn't just kiss a guy, they should ask if he is okay with it.
I feel like this only matters on the first kiss and even then it only applies to certain girls in certain situations. In my experience I'm free to go for a kiss anytime (well depends on the situation and mood) AFTER I've already cleared the first kiss hurdle.
It's really attractive when a guy asks, or even just says 'I really want to kiss you right now' and then goes for it. There's something about it that makes me feel special.
There is this tention that builds up, a small touch of the hand, sitting close, long eye contact. And a lingering hug with a pause right intro of your face after the hug. That is when you go for the kiss, that is when it's a sure bet. Otherwise it's just a gamble.
With too many men being falsely accused of stuff like sexual harassment I would ask her and video record her response.
I would do the same thing
Ask or let her do it, nowadays so many girls are just looking to be victims it’s safer if you let the women do the initiating of physical contact plus it lets you know if she really likes you. Either she kisses you or none at all guys need to quit caving in
Asking is always the right option. And it doesn't make you a wuss or less of a man. Some ladies don't know what they want but it doesn't give you the right to decide for them. My first kiss was stolen by someone I'm not even in an exclusive relationship with. I was so mad and disgusted especially since someone saw it and made an entirely different story. Maybe some girls are into it unlike me. All you have to do is ask beforehand. Like if you can kiss her on random occasions. Or directly before a kiss. Do not ever make a move that would put the girl in a bad place.
That's the worst!!! Did you voiced your opinion to the man?
"Some ladies don't know what they want but it doesn't give you the right to decide for them." Honestly, and this might sound kinda non-PC, but every girl I've dated in any capacity was giving off vibes that she kinda wanted me to "decide" it for her. I'm not talking in a rapey way or anything, but it seems that lot of women don't know what they want until it's actually happening. Like, if a girl texts a guy and says "I'm going to make out with you at 8pm this evening", he'll be walking high all day and looking forward til the clock strikes 8. If a guy texts that to a girl, she'll probably find a way to avoid being alone with him come 8pm. Because she doesn't know if she wants to be kissed or not... until she's *actually being kissed*. Just my observation ofc, I don't claim to speak for all women lol
Some girls are put off when you ask that question, but you can always rely in body language. Try to get closer to her face, slowly, that way she can know you want to kiss her, and that gives her time to reject the kiss and move her face.
I personally prefer if they ask me.
Never assume consent. No one should just go for it until they learn how their partner feels about it.
Now I don't condone forcibly pushing yourself onto someone or anything like that, but I must say it sounds so boring and turn offish.
Like imagine saying 'can I kiss you' , 'can I do this' 'can I do that'.
Honestly if you're a person that likes your personal space and don't want your partner to touch you without your permission just don't be in a relationship, what's even the point?
And I'm pretty sure women don't like that stuff either and they wouldn't like to ask their boyfriend before touching them either. Half the fun in the relationship is random grabs, teasing etc.
But whatever floats your boat.
I *love* being asked. But it's small minded to think there's only one boring way to seek and gain consent.
I think it's actually really romantic to ask first, and it's a great way to show respect. It doesn't have to feel awkward at all if you explain you feel she's so very special/hot/beautiful/etc. , could you please kiss her...
Personally I'd prefer that I just go for it. Obviously I need at least a few subtle hints for her to show that I am interested. When I am with her out on a date and if I see that she is interested then I am going for it lol. It kinda is a turn off when you have to ask.
It is basically reading the persons body language and situation, usually im the one that makes the first move and i tend to just go for it when the situation seems right
Asking for a kiss? Sorry but it's not a job, you don't have to ask authorization in 2 copies signed by the Ministry of Kisses.
Seriously we're leaving in such a shitty time for love. We're so ruined by political correctness and fear of being labeled as rapist or whatever that nothing is natural.
The right time for a kiss is set by the mood, the atmosphere. You kiss when you feel it's time. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's all there is to it.
I'd say do not ask verbally, but lean in for it slowly enough so they can still back off if they want to. Orrr... you can do it like my boyfriend did and spontaneously jump across the room on top of me 🤣
dude this can go horribly wrong tho xD
@genericname85 yea yea I know. The second part wasn't really a serious advice. It DID work for us though and its a nice and funny memory to have xD
i feel like these days guys can't get away with this. women are too easily triggered and claim it's rape right away xD
@genericname85 depends on the woman I'd say. But yea knowing each other well enough beforehand might help aswell, I would have probably run away screaming if he did it without us being friends for years xD
yeah of course but then again he might have been deep in the friendzone xD
@genericname85 I do not really believe in the concept of the "friendzone" tbh. Or at least, not in the way many seem to do. For me, you're only in the friendzone if you've been specifically turned down with a "I only see you as a friend". Until that happens, you are just... friends.
well if he never made any attempts at taking it to more than friendship, then there's never a point where you really say "i only see you as a friend". you'd only say that if he asks you out or confesses his feelings. if he never did that and you do see them as a friend and suddenly he does that, how would that be? xD
@genericname85 well, you cannot "friendzone" someone you are just friends with unless they specifically tell or show you that they want more. Otherwise, your friends of the same gender would be considered to be in the friendzone aswell which is kind of ridiculous.
ugh -.- so you never had a guy that you KNEW would never be more a friend from your point of view then? of course your friends of the same gender are also in the friendzone except you're gay/bi and would consider them for more.
more than*
@genericname85 just because you never thought of a friend in a certain way doesn't mean that this can't change in my opinion.
So in your opinion, friendship doesn't exist, since everyone you know regardless of gender, age and anything else is just someone you either include or exclude from your group of potentional partners?
no you get me wrong. i mean you get to know them as a friend and you know immediately that you're not attracted so they won't ever be more than a friend from your perspective.
of course friendship exists. someone who's in my friendzone is still my friend. it just means i won't fuck them or date them xD that goes for all of my male friends and most of my female friends. the difference is that they probably don't wanna fuck me, so it's mutual.
@genericname85 but then friendzone doesn't mean anything else besides friendship xD so why would this word even exist? I do not see it as an one-sided attraction, but one-sided romantic feelings. And unless you know about these feelings you cannot know if they exist, are one sided, or are mutual. Pretty much a Schroedingers cat kind of thing xD
And for me, the attraction to someone very well can change over the course of several years. For better or worse.
pay attention to the point of view. being in the friendzone is different depending on the point of view.
so if you're all in each others friendzone, everything is fine. the problem arises, whe it's one sided. so they actually wanna fuck or romance you but you don't.
so imagine 2 guy friends of yours. 1. that guy who jumped to kiss you and 2. another friend that you're not attracted to at all, cause you think he's ugly or whatever. imagine the second one did the same the first one did.
@genericname85 if the second one did it then I'd tell him that I do not feel the same for him as he does for me. At that point we can either remain friends (which would make him be in my "friendzone") or we decide that our friendship cannot work anymore and then he's neither freindzoned nor my friend.
"at that point we can either remain friends" which is the definition of the friendzone "or decide that our friendhip cannot work" which is how you usually solve those things.
@genericname85 well yes, exactly.
The #metoo movement has really confused dating etiquette.
Seriously. Soon we'll have set date with a schedule, verified by the authorities, telling you what to do and when. It feels so unnatural.
@Guanfei I agree! Where is the romance gone!
Wait dudes kiss girls? Wait that's a thing? Thought that was a thing of the past and that now every one just played video games all day
Well at least video games can't sue us without proof, accusing us of rape.
I dunno, they might be able to, people have given the blows to their games back in the day. *Wink wink*
Lord kirb help me
Dear gods... When I was 13, I was... exactly like that, in fact. Oh well.
in my opinion asking makes it super awkward. you guys aren't fucking i dont see why there should be "consent" to lean in and give it a go. usually consent is given through eye contact. if they dont want it then they will turn away.
Tell that a lawyer and he will tell you from a legal perspective its not considered a consent. It should not be asked off a man to put himself at legal risk if you really love him, instead you should make life as easy as possible for those you love.
When he asks for a kiss, a more gentlemanly gesture
Does he have to ask every time?
@ecfresh not all the time no
So when should he ask?
@ecfresh when it’s a fresh relationship but when you guys feel comfortable just go in for a kiss
I guess I figure if I ask her out, she says yes and I feel chemistry on the date I will kiss her. Worst case she turns away.
@ecfresh yes exactly
Hmm... i tend to lean in, slowly for a kiss, if theyre being flirty & if im sure that they want it. And i give them enough time to pull away, just in case if they dont want it. And I'd apologise if they didn't want to be kissed.
Ask, have her sign a contract , notify her in advance, etc.
Because in these days with the #metoo, you can't even stare at women let alone give them complements without triggering their feminist rage lol
Females might as well cover their bodies head-to-toe like in Saudi Arabia