Should a guy tell a girl verbally he wants to kiss her before going for it?

[Anonymous]

No problem if tells that

It ruins the moment

It makes him unattractive to me

It makes me excited too

A total of 105 votes were cast: 45 girls and 60 guys. See detailed results

[VIVANT]

I think if there is trust then saying or not saying will not ruin the moment.

I think what ruins the moment is people bring addicted to adrenaline rush to where they want to do things in a way that catches people off guard bc that makes it more exciting it meaning in their eyes bc they are looking for a high, rather than a connection.

Of course it’s exciting to kiss someone for the first time— which is precisely why it’s not necessary to add mystery and intrigue to the situation.

I think if you have to worry saying something election things it’s not a very good foundation for a kiss in the first place.

On the other hand if there’s tryst you probably don’t need to ask bc you’re not going to attack the other person you will be observant and patient and back off if they seem uncomfortable. Equally, if they trust you they will feel confidence saying no

I think a first kiss, if it doesn’t magically happen by two people moving towards each other after they hit heads or something silly (which happens but can’t be relied upon and is very awkward to stage) then the second best is to initiate by moving slowly enough towards them that they have a chance to move away or say no or whatever.

Ideally the initiator will move slowly about 90% of the distance between faces so they remove all ambiguity about what they want, while leaving a remaining respectful 10% of sieve to the receiver who is text with agency as to whether the kiss actually happens

This way by the time there is a kiss everyone is 💯 on board and everyone knows thus she no one feels uncertain or undecided or ambivalent or trapped.

You can not trick someone into wanting to kiss you you can just catch them off guard so they don’t have time to consider their feelings in the moment.

If someone wants to kiss you they will want to regardless. So as long as you are respectful I cent see it going wrong.

Maybe there are some adrenaline junkies out there but turn obviously this post isn’t for them.

Everyone is different but MOST people respond well to respect. And MOST people respond negatively to the absence of it.

Trust doesn’t make things dull or boring it orbs up five for people to enjoy the excitement they feel rather than being confused by it.

So I think COMMUNICATION is 💯 essential and non negotiable…. Whether that is verbal or non verbal is totally discretionary.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"the initiator will move slowly about 90% of the distance between faces"

My only question would be why 90% and not 72% ? Honestly, I think 72% could be enough, I'll run some tests the next time there is an opportunity🫡

[VIVANT]

@Maybe_Maybe_not 😂

I guess bc 90% feels more intimate and zero ambiguity

Plus I think it helps the initiator by maximizing on the electricity. The closer you get to somebody the more likely they’re gonna feel like kissing you would be the most natural thing in the world to do.

Unless of course they really don’t wanna kiss you, but if that’s the case, then it’s not applicable here anyhow

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Oh wow, you certainly know what you're talking about! I estimated that 72% would suffice but now that I'm reading you describing enjoyment... I feel much more inclined to spend 18% more.

Thank you for your unintentional encouragements, you rock 🤌🏼

[natured]

No, don't , it does ruin the moment a little, also if you get closer to her she will understand that you're about to kiss her, approach her lips very slow to be sure that she actually wants it, you'll understand immediately that she wants it as well fi she won't move and she will look at your lips...
SO DON'T ANNOUNCE IT just do it man cmon now

[strateguy632]

Our generation "gets that" idea. new age freaks out about "snow white non consent kiss" like nectophilia. Ugh.

[Summeroflove]

So what if someone kisses someone who doesn’t want to be kissed then.

[Summeroflove]

@strateguy632 the issue is that people can’t just kiss someone and plenty of people can misjudge how someone else is feeling.

It would be weird to ask someone you’re in a relationship with if you may kiss. But if you never kissed someone before. You shouldn’t just be pressing your lips on someone. Because the type of people who are going to randomly kiss someone may not the kind of people you want just kissing you. Just saying

[Summeroflove]

Same goes for a woman she shouldn’t just be kissing someone without permission.

Now look. I get it. If someone moves in slowly to someone who doenst want to be kissed they will back away or maybe freeze. There are ways to tell if someone’s into it or not.

But like I said…. The kind of people you don’t want kissing may interpret things the way they want to interpret it.

[natured]

@Summeroflove Like I SAID , when you do it slow you will be able to read her body language, if someone doesn't want to be kissed you will notice... unless you're weird

[SteveSmith1985]

No goddamn way. That is not something anybody is doing in real life right? Seriously. This is a joke question?

I am the most pro-consent, anti-misogynistic guy you'll ever meet (my whole GAG reply history is open to view if you doubt that).

This is just not a thing that should become acceptable. That would be the end of the first kiss for every two people who kiss for the first time. That's some Cruella-Deville-shit.

If this isn't a joke. I guess it's part of getting old. Kids, we used to kiss passionately, without the Standard Kissing Contract.

I'm kidding I know you're joking.

I'm pretty sure.

Yea that would be ridiculous.

Wouldn't it?

or...

[SteveSmith1985]

@Kingofkings1992

Is it a joke question then?

[Kingofkings1992]

It is to me lol

[wynning]

Fair enough but you might be interested to see what the girls said!

[SteveSmith1985]

@wynning

I checked out the girl's responses. Overall they seem to be mixed. I'll admit that I'm surprised there are as many women who are either fine with it or prefer it.

I would never want to kiss a girl that didn't want me to. I think I'm good enough at reading the moment well enough that I'm not likely to do that. I also think that if you're doing it right, a girl is well aware she's about to be kissed. It's not asking verbally, but it is making it abundantly clear with eyes, body language, etc that she is about to be kissed. If she wasn't coming to meet me in the middle... I would obviously back off.

I think nobody should ever be kissed when that's not what they want. If this asking thing became standard, or expected, I would have to change along with the times.

I think though, that personally I'm not too worried. It seems so weird to me, because there are so many non-verbal signs and signals going on leading up to a kiss. If you are reading those right, you know she wants to be kissed. You've got all those signs and signals waiving you in. I've never messed this up, and I think I'm going to keep relying on reading the moment.

I've never kiss someone and had any doubt about consent. If I did have any doubt at all, then I would ask (well realistically I probably just would just not try and kiss her if I had any doubt).

It was interesting checking out the female responses. Thanks 🙂

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

This tendency to aim at finding a generic approach to anything is so weird lol. I would understand it from an autistic perspective, from a particularly oppressive culture, or from a computer, otherwise I can't get why forming such wishes.

The person about to be kissed is never generic, it's a singular personality...

So, the person's announcing a kiss, depending on who they're facing, will look:

• funny
• quirky
• inappropriate
• appropriate
• off-putting
• considerate
• etc

[AviatorTom]

I've done both. Telling the woman "I want to kiss you" and then moving in, or just moving in for the kiss, unannounced. Only once has a woman stopped me (she just wanted to be friends); others have told me, later, that the kiss was good.

[TrueConfection]

I have been asked, “Is it okay if I give you a kiss?” I loved that!!!
Of course it was okay, and the way he asked me was like he thought I was the most delicate flower he’d ever held which made the moment so much more special. 💕

[blackeagle007]

What If it was a woman wanting to kiss you?

[TrueConfection]

@blackeagle007 I wouldn’t be on any date with a woman, so a random woman asking to kiss me would suggest she has a mental disorder. In any case, nope. 🤢

[blackeagle007]

Maybe you’re in denial?

[TrueConfection]

@blackeagle007 Yeah, sure

[blackeagle007]

I know you dated women

[TrueConfection]

@blackeagle007 There are plenty of lesbians on gag you can talk to to fill your fantasy.

[blackeagle007]

You have weak ankles. And wear too much makeup

[TrueConfection]

@blackeagle007 This is true

[blackeagle007]

About your ankles?

[Squishyfeet]

Mental disorder because she’s queer? Say you’re a bigot without actually saying it. Awful.

[blackeagle007]

@Squishyfeet did I say that’s a mental disorder? Where did I say that?

[TrueConfection]

@Squishyfeet I can see reading comprehension must be hard for you, so I’ll explain further. I would assume a person has a mental disorder if they are randomly trying to kiss me. The part about a woman was that any woman who tried to kiss me would have to be random because I wouldn’t have said yes to a date because I sm not gay. Have a nice day.

[blackeagle007]

This is chaos lol

[Summeroflove]

For people saying it ruins the moment it’s better then kissing someone who doesn’t want to be kissed. As time goes on you can start to kiss without asking permission it would be weird to ask someone you’re in a relationship with if you may kiss the other.

[ohsheeT]

I have asked if it would be OK before I have done it but that's just me..

[ohsheeT]

But sometimes you have to remember to stop and ask before you leave her neck and start up her cheek or chin... to her lips

[Screenwriter]

Hmm.. I think the guy should read the woman AND the moment. If the two line up, I don't think a man needs to ask permission.

If the woman doesn't want the kiss, she can simply say, "No," or "Sorry," and turn her head. This might be a little awkward, but is not an indication that all is lost.
Neither means there won't be an opportunity later.

Alternately, a kiss on the cheek is nearly 100% acceptable. Even a gallant kiss on the hand could be engaging and sweet.

Going in for the full mouth, means there has to be some bedrock reasoning/feeling behind such an attempt.

Politeness counts, but unless you're 16 and have no kissing game or experience, I don't think asking is required.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

My boyfriend sort of asked before we first kissed and it didn't ruin it at all for me. I thought it was cute. He asked, I encouraged him to go for it, kiss happened. Ez pz.

Now I don't think its a requirement either way, but some people appreciate the offer and some just prefer the moment be special and it just happens. It's nearly impossible to tell beforehand who likes what so maybe it's best to just be safe than sorry.

I dont think there are many who need approval after every single kiss though. I think once you are in, you're in.

[NicholasRedone]

👀 Crikey yikes - i voted it ruins the moment, now sure consent is important however that's like those cringey commercials here in Australia I've seen run for years now on screens it's like "dude, I get it, there's consent in relationships, but apart from when they show couples of the same gender, why is everyone now having to pause and say "can I kiss you" uhhh they imply the folks are already a couple" + you know? It's weird. Like two strangers who only just met on a first date? Maybe - but other couples every single time how cringey weird 😲 😲 😲 😳 shock.

[RingOfFire]

Normally I would say no, it's always better if you don't talk about it because not talking about it indicates that it's spontaneous and compassionate versus logical and planned. So doing it without talking about it is definitely more romantic to the woman involved.

But in this day and age I would not only recommend telling her first, but ASKING her first, having a lawyer with you to make sure you've given proper disclosure and get her answer in writing so you don't end up having her accuse you of some sort of unacceptable behavior later.

[OneViewpoint]

99 times out of 100, if the guy is not clueless and able to read other people reasonably well, asking permission will just kill the moment. Go in halfway, hold, see how she responds, either finish the kiss or back away. If she pulls back or flat out says you're just a friend, that's it. I'll never try again. But if you're both feeling it, that unspoken "yes" is magical the first time. Talking about it first is just cringe. Moment lost.

[Puppystarfish23]

1000% yes. I'm married now and I'm always giving him lots of kissies but before him I hated it when guys would just go in for a kiss without asking it's super creepy and scary to do to a woman if she's not comfortable around you and isn't expecting it. I respect it a lot more when men ask and it's cute too it shows they respect you

[LaureenVO]

It really depends. Personally, I think it's sexy if it's the first time. But you definitely don't need to ask every single time. My mom and dad first kissed when they were 17. They were at a party and after having a good chat and laugh, he leaned in and whispered, "can I kiss you?" very cute

[LittleMelissa9614]

I've got no problem with that. A guy should tell the girl "I would love to kiss you" or just ask "Is it alright that I kiss you?" Respect!😊 Unless both man and woman are both willing to go for the kiss without saying anything, that's a totally different story.

[Zack-Bann]

It doesn’t matter either way


The only thing that matters is that it’s not transactional and awkward


If you build up the mood, the tension, the desire…
You can either go for it or ask if it feels appropriate

[wynning]

If he feels like he needs to, I think it's absolutely fine. Sometimes you can't tell for sure and I don't think it'd ruin the moment.

Whatever eliminates the worst case where it was unwarranted sounds good to me!

[FreyaRed]

You need notary certified kiss authorization

[David_beckham]

A guy should look in the eyes while talking, and when he thinks it's the best time to kiss, he should first look at her lips and then her eyes, two and fro, and then slowly lean forward for a kiss. If she doesn't want to, she will move back, but if she smiles and leans in, you have your approval.

[strateguy632]

Precisely. Pretty smart for a 24 age kid.

[David_beckham]

Thanks lol

[strateguy632]

I am old fashioned so nope. Don't say a word... lean slowly so it will be natural relaxed reciprocal, and she can push me away if she is creeped...

I have not yet got rejected when leaning in for a kiss. Not yet.

[Lalalove11]

I've been asked can I kiss you and it didn't turn me off. Unfortunately he kissed me like a dog but that's beside the point. But I think usually there's enough tension there to know you both want to without needing to ask :)

[WhitneySnow]

As long as I want him to kiss me it doesn’t matter to me whether he asks me verbally or not.

[rebelkid]

This all depends on when this potential kiss is going to happen. If you guys are gazing into each others eyes in a sensual way with complete silence, then slowly go for it. However, if you guys are having a face to face casual conversation, then there is no harm at all to politely ask for a kiss.
Just keep in mind that YOU ONLY GET ONE SHIT OF THIS THING CALLED LIFE. Go for it Yesss Indeeed.

[rebelkid]

I meant ONE SHOT not SHIT

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In the past people just went for it & nowadays asking is the right thing to do because chicks are a little weird nowadays.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Some women find asking to be offputting enough to end the date, others demand that you ask, so just do what is natural for you, the right woman will appreciate it, the wrong women won't.

[MrChinaski]

I have never asked. If you are decent at reading the context and body language. Holding her hand would be a good start. I have never kissed a woman that did not want me to kiss her.

[molonski2]

That would completely ruin the moment , life is not even remotely like that , it horrendous that the question even be asked..

[Squishyfeet]

Super hot when a guy asks for a kiss. It’s very charming and sweet.

[QuietRunner]

@Squishyfeet
ty

[PBandJ_Nerd]

It's better to make sure you have consent first instead of just going for it.

[strateguy632]

That is so new age, moving forward slowly gives time to choose.

[DrPepper12]

I don't know. I understand the consent part but it's only an attempted kiss. Is that too far ladies? I don't know I'm from a different generation and would like to know. TY

[slatyb]

Maybe. So sometimes women make it obvious they want to be kissed. If unsure, it can't hurt to ask.

[Lliam]

I never had to. Her desire was always apparent.

[MemeSupreme]

just depends how you say it

it can come off as goofy, sweet, or just whatever lol

[PeachyPie93]

I think it is fine if he does.. but I don't care if a guy just goes for it either..

[QuestionObsession]

Depends on whether she is a slut looking for a good time or not. You don't go around respecting people who don't respect themselves. You either avoid them or use them and move on.

[Jay-_-]

Everyone's all over the place with this question we got yes we got no we gotta the paragraph writers. Which is correct, I don't even know I wanna say go for it but you have to be 1000% sure.

[Sevenpointfive]

HE HAS TO! otherwise that's sexual assault. but you don't have to take my word for it.

[BarryLiverstone]

Sure he could do that on the phone or the first time they meet. Best not to say it right before you kiss her, right?

[darkwing91]

In these times a woman might say a kiss without asking first is assault

[strateguy632]

Omg you remind me of the film review of snow white. The world is too extreme about "assualt". But "officer he stared at me".

[OddBeMe]

All the above. I like 90-10 rule. Lean in 90% and shrug it off if she doesn’t move. Try again later after more wooing.

[SmokinAces2000]

Unless you have a condition that prevents you from reading social cues you should be able to read the room

[robocop666]

Well if he has autism he cannot decode verbal messages so yes

[DishLady]

Tbh it depends on the moment.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. Would make you sound stupid asking. It should come naturally as both you should feel it.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yes say it, otherwise it’d be weird when she rejects u bc she was being nice

[nawtee_me]

What is next? I want to go down on you before doing so? 😂😂

[Anonymous]

if u have kissed u don’t have to ask. But u must take consent the first time

[strateguy632]

But what if he leans forward slowly so she have time to choose?

[Opinion Owner]

@strateguy632 what? Let her kiss u then. U don’t kiss her

[Annason64]

This all depends on the situation, do you know the guy? And do you like him back

[tanya121]

Definitely no ahah just go for it

[lilBigPotato]

Whatever fits the moment but generally no

[TheLovelyWoman]

No. I like guys who surprise me.

[Eempriyanka]

I like mature man who's not shy or awkward

[Kelly6]

@oneviewpoint 100% yes

[OneViewpoint]

Thanks. For me. And I think for most women. That hold, that moment in time, in silence, suspended, mouths inches away from each other, waiting. The anticipation and sexual tension builds. That’s a first kiss.

[OneViewpoint]

The way I look at it, if she’s gonna reject me she’s gonna reject me whether I do it right or wrong. I may as well do it right since the outcome is uncertain.

On the other hand, if she wants that kiss to happen and I hit the pause button for a Q&A session that moment is lost forever. I’ve robbed us both of that experience because of a lack of confidence.

Then I’d be pissed at myself.

[Ferngully2000]

No, it ruins the chemistry.

[jahaims]

Depends on the context

[Anonymous]

I think it's ok if he tells her.

[Kingofkings1992]

No, that’s stupid

[Anonymous]

I have done that before, it went relatively well.

[ritxi]

No manner!

[SalonHanfendisi]

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