I know we always see in the movies how it happens. It is purely body language and they just go in, but is this always realistic? Is getting actual consent better?
Unless you can find some fun, funny, confident way to ask in which she enjoys. Do not ask to kiss a girl. It will turn her off end of story. If you're unsure, just go with the 90/10 principle. You move in 90% of the way and hold there. If she is ready to kiss you she will come in that last 10%. If she's not ready to kiss you, then she won't. Simple as that. You want to do things in a way where you can get feedback and respond to it.
- If you come in 90%, she looks deep in your eyes. Maybe looks down at your lips and smiles as she looks back into your eyes again. You can be damn certain a kiss is happening in milliseconds. - If she's just looking into your eyes deeply, getting red in the face with a slight voice change and not moving. She's attracted to you, but most likely nervous. - If she backs away from you, then you did her a good service in two ways: 1. Being a man and making your intention clear while at the same time 2. Giving her that space to decide for herself if she wants to do that. So if she wants to eject she can in a comfortable way.
It has been months but returning to this question. I did ask and she didn't find it weird, but I only ever had to ask that first time. Ever since then when we kiss we just go for it.
I asked my second girlfriend ever in life if I could kiss her through text 😂😂. I was 18 and we were right by each other. I was too nervous to say it out loud but I really liked her.
She said yes. I think most girls appreciate it when a guy cares enough to âknowâ if sheâs ok with being kissed instead of just taking it. Mind you, this was the first time I kissed her. We didnât know each other well and I think that makes the difference too. If youâve been dating for a while and itâs clear you like eachother, sheâs probably waiting or wondering why you havenât kissed her.
I think itâs âsocially acceptableâ for a guy to just âgo for itâ but not every girl will appreciate it. Some will feel that you crossed a line or have this conflict with whether they were ok with it or not. Others will like it.
Kissing without asking should only been done if youâre good at reading body language OR youâre in a relationship with her. I started doing the 50/50 thing where I lean in half way and stop. It gives her the option to kiss me or reject me.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
If I would catch you stealing something that is not yours in the first place, you would never hear the end of the story.
Basically, to just go for it and just imposing yourself on someone that does not agree to any physical contact is regarded as a sexual offense.
Getting physical intimacy without consent from the other party may not be as innocent as you may think. It is an infringement of the private sphere and I would certainly consider it par with an attempted assault on my sexual integrity.
Therefore, I would recommend that you refrain from being labeled as an offender and get a prior consent before becoming sexual. It is just in your interest!
This is absolute garbage. No wonder you guys out there are shaking in your boots lately. Ignore this. It's feeding the divide. If this person believes in this so strongly, why are they hiding...
@AmandaYVR So, Amanda from Vancouver, you believe that being sexually offended against your will is fine but that is just promoting sexual harassment and the sexualization of the woman if she is not allowed to defend herself from prying guys and perverts that just take any opportunity. Next thing they will touch your genitals and you will just open your legs and that will be fine for you, right?
My first kiss was a stolen one by my 2nd boyfriend in high school. I was shocked but I kissed him back after... Be careful though before you steal or go for the kiss. Make sure the feelings are mutual or you're going to be slapped or charged
@-Asca- no dont ask. you'll come off like a guy who doesn't know what he wants and will probably be put into the friends zone. look if you take the girl out and she never ask you for relationship advice. if she's excited and nervous. you can always tell when women are excited and nervous at the same time because they laugh at anything. If she plays with her hair a lot while your looking at her. these are all signs that you need to at least give her a kiss on her check. 8 out of 10 times when you go for the kiss on the check they turn there head and kiss you
@BamaPorter You are not doing anyone a favor by infringing on someone's private sphere without being authorized. That is just not the way it works.
You don't plant your tent on your neighbor's lawn without asking him first if he agrees with it. Why should stealing a kiss from someone that does not agree be different from any other infringement on either a property or sexual integrity?
This consent thing has gotten way out of hand, thanks to rabid feminists who hate men. When you go on a date, there is an expectation that it might end with a kiss. If a girl doesn't want to be kissed, she needs to explain that in advance. Most girls want a guy who is assertive and who is simply going to make the move and go for a kiss without asking. So, women, don't put men in an impossible position. Declare in advance that you are off limits for a kiss or expect to get kissed.
1. Before the date, you tell him that you don't kiss a guy on the first date so, when that doesn't happen, he shouldn't take it as a sign that you aren't interested. Your interest in such things generally cranks up around the third date (or whenever that happens for you.)
2. During the date, you can find a time to explain that you like to take the first few dates real slow and not do anything more intimate than holding hands. And you add an explanation that you aren't shy about being affectionate but have had a few bad experiences of dealing with guys with the wrong expectations; you just want to know him a bit more before you join the saliva exchange program.
3. Alternatively, at the end of the date, you take the initiative and give him a hug, and then you pull away and offer your cheek if he feels the need to kiss you.
"Saliva exchange program" If nothing else, I'm taking that phrase with me into the future. Lol
Joking aside, this is a pretty good run down of a way to approach kissing as a boundary with a new date. It sets up the boundary clearly not doesn't force the guy to guess. I would have appreciated an approach like this a few times with women that did not appreciate a surprise kiss.
I'm the type to read into the mood and go for it, but have been mistaken a few times.
Let me tell you something. In my youth, I sucked with women. I was TERRIBLE. Now that I am 28 and more seasoned... I can speak out on this.
NEVER ask a woman if you can kiss her. If you do that, she will think that you are some kind of wimp. I'm all for being polite and being gentlemen, but this is usually a deal breaker for a lot of women. And if you ask them, they will most likely and immediately say no.
When I was in my early 20s, I used to ask women if I can kiss them. After they turned down the offer, things got awkward and they would ghost me after the first date.
As I got older and learned my way around women, that's when I became more confident. When I started going on dates with women, instead of asking for a kiss, I would just go for it. The worst they can do is say no or turn their head away from you as you go in for the kiss. And if they do reject you that way, don't force the kiss (obviously).
However... when I would just go in for the kiss, all the women would return the kiss and then we would start making out. Sometimes, I would even escalate things by slowly rubbing their neck and then working my way down to their breasts and sucking their nipples. Never met any resistance with this approach.
I even had one girl tell me that it was hot that I just went for it and that I seemed confident enough to caress her neck, touch her breasts etc during the date. She said a lot of guys seem hesitant and nervous when trying to get physical and it's such a turn off. She likes when a man goes after what she wants
Anywho... Just go in for the kiss. If you are met with resistance, don't push further.
If we're taking about a first kiss, you can always do the 90,5,5 approach... Lean in 90% and hesitate... If she leans in 5% or shows positive body language, you have permission to close off the last 5%... This is fun too because it aides in the anticipation. And if you're lucky she'll just go the full 10% and kiss you!
If there's no positive body language or she retracts, that's a sign for you to back off.
I feel like actually asking verbally takes away the spontaneity of it... If it's someone you've been with for a while, just smooch them!
I have to say personally I like to be surprised when a guy kisses me specially if he grabs me from behind pulls me in and kisses my neck but have to say my boyfriend kept asking me the first 6-9 times we had sex if I was sure and I told him if I wasnât we wouldnât be here right now naked or hadnât done it yesterday but in many ways I absolutely love that he will ask me if Iâm alright or if heâs hurting me sometimes it gets annoying because a bit of pain feels really good but doesnât understand that.
I think it depends on the circumstances. If you know the person and if the cues are there i. e. your eyes are locked and you are very close to each other, but neither side attempts to move away or turn their eyes away from each other, then you can try kissing.
However, I think if such situation arises, you would like know it is "the right moment". Otherwise I would ask for consent to kiss because it did happen a few times to me that I misread the signs and tried to kiss just for the girl to ask me what I was doing or telling me that I misunderstood her. As a guy, I would actually like it if women also took the initiative and kissed us if they feel attracted to us. Otherwise it is always very one-sided.
Unless either has Dyssemia or Autism a man should know better than to directly ask a woman for anything--it's artless and unimpressive.
A man should test her by using body language that becomes more and more suggestive of the desire to kiss.
The moment she notices the nder-current of the situation she'll either respond positively or demonstrate discomfort.
The moment a man senses discomfort he should back off and redirect to something both find pleasant. So long as he was being subtle and tactful it will be easily glossed over and brushed aside.
If she was unsure of her feelings and later decided she enjoyed it, she will return the attention.
Spontaneous kisses of mutual affection are a rare and beautiful thing, but they're too risky.
Nice choice of words "artless and unimpressve". Correct, just read the body language. She's likely already out on a date with you, right... It's not that complicated, people. Listen to dextrosis.
Hmmm... I hate to say it, but the "tolerance levels" are different in different communities, and even within different subgroups.
For instance (I'm going to pick on Portland's gay community), in Portland, "flamers" would answer that "hell yes!" while the softies would ask you'd ask them first.
In the heterosexual communities, however, despite girls getting upset when they *don't* get an expected kiss, they don't make it easy, and they say they want permission (but secretly share with their girlfriends they wish he'd just dive right in)
So, I'm going with the flow on this one... Just time it just right, & *whammo!* PLANT ONE ON 'EM!!! 😁
Sure you should go for it... If your willing to be seen as a sex offender or receive a slap to the face in public
These females think that we can read their minds , they think that we just magically know what they want and get mad at us for not understanding what they want
Many women don't know what they want and when they do know what they want , they don't know how to ask for it
They don't know They just need to open their damn mouths and make it clear what they want and guys will immediately respond to it
Honestly man women are a waste of time , go for other activities such as sports or movie watching.
I once heard in a movie where a boy was saying âhey do you wanna recreate our first kiss again?â to which she replied âyou donât ask a girl if you can kiss her you just do itâ
Now, that being SAID, this doesnât mean you can kiss any girl you want. I donât think that a guy should ask tho, it kinda ruins the moment. Itâs simple, you just read her body language. If you feel she responds to things and likes you, maybe you should lean in for a kiss. If you feel she doesnât, donât. Youâll probably get slapped. ALTHOUGH, if itâs her FIRST kiss, and if sheâs anything like me, sheâs going to want it to be special. In this case, the girl should be somewhat cautious because he could be her first.
Iâve had guys ask me over text if iâve has my first kiss. To which I answer no, and make a mental note of. Because I know they will try, and I donât want them to be my first. What iâm explaining is very confusing😂 Bottom line, you need to read non verbal signs and just know how comfortable she is.
If a girl is giving you all the signs that sheâs into you then go for it without asking... the worst that could happen is you read into it wrong... but If youâre kinda getting mixed signals and you donât know... itâs always good to ask so youâre not embarrassed if she pulls away
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I think consent is important but I also think that there are obvious signs that a person is into you. If your unsure, then thereâs no harm in asking her if she wants to kiss. But if she makes it obvious that she likes you, and the two of you have broken the touch barrier, and sheâs gazing into your eyes and leaning into you, then I think itâs probably ok to kiss her. Start with a peck. If sheâs not into you can just apologize and explain that you misread the situation. If she kisses you back then you can kiss some more and maybe even start a whole make out session.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I'd much rather he ask first, especially if we haven't been dating long. It might be a bit different if we were together for awhile, but my last ex would practically lunge at my face with no warning like he was going to bite my head off, and I hated that even after a year and a half.
I've had decent results with just looking deep in her eyes, going kinda quiet, and saying "I'm gonna kiss you now" or "I want to kiss you..." and then just start leaning in and assuming she's into it. Of course if she pulls back or does a scrunchy face or anything then I can dial it back and play it for comedy value instead, it's all in calibration
doesn't asking for the kiss take away from the mood. This is an area technology has definitely hurt us in. I remember being 13 years old and having to actually knock on a girls door to ask her out or get shut down. Eventually you definitely can feel the vibe of a kiss between the two people. That's not something your gonna learn on Meetme or Match or swipe left. whatever. it's funny with all these social net works and algorithms for human behavior. I believe we are more socially inept than ever. How many people could say that after they met a girl and only knew her name that they could have the balls to walk up to her parents house and ask her dad if you could talk with her. Romance is gone women welcome to the future
I personally prefer a guy who just go for it (but slowly & politely, just dont ask) if he thinks it's the right moment. Its much sexier.
The woman feels wanted. The man feels like a man. Its great for both sides.
But i'd been asked for a kiss by a guy who i REALLY liked. so even he asked for my permission, i can only see it as a gentle and classy act (bcoz he is a british). I even respected him even more. Thats a rare case bcoz i really2 liked him + i know his culture. 👌😊
I only ask verbally if I am unsure if he/she is available or not.
Otherwise I ask only with my body language - I lean in, touch them, look them in the eyes, wet my lips, look at their lips, lean in further. At this point it has taken about a second, and they are already 100% aware of my intentions. Their nonverbal answer at that point is a pretty clear 'yes', 'no', or 'maybe'. At yes or maybe I go for it.
I don't think you need to ask verbally, but you do always have to be pretty sure there's consent. A normal person can read body language correctly most of the time, but there are many people (especially on GaG) who are social cripples, so for them it's much trickier. I'd say if you move in for a kiss, do it in a way that gives your opposite an adequate option to react and decline in time.
the first kiss is normally a lot of questionable moves. Generally best not to ask. Leaning in or approaching is a good signal to make then they will make the final approach or turn their head away. Or its very much mutual and you know you want to kiss so both sides just kiss. It's a very confusing first dance kinda and experience can help but not always. From my experience each first kiss has always been different but normally in good ways. Asking makes it weird though.
Just go for it, you should be able to know when they are ready for the kiss just by body language. The connection you both share should be good enough for you to know whether to go for it to not. Asking seems like something that could ruin that moment or future moments because it introduces awkward feelings. Dont be afraid to take that chance. Dont be too hasty of course, but you will know when that time comes to give that kiss.
Observe her body language and her attitude. Depending on those two things you'll know if she's into it or not. However, if you're too nervous or unsure then ask, better be safe than sorry in this type of thing. Personally I've never had an issue with a guy I'm into going in for the kiss. I guess it also has to do with how well you know the girl/guy.
Most Helpful Opinions