It has been months but returning to this question. I did ask and she didn't find it weird, but I only ever had to ask that first time. Ever since then when we kiss we just go for it.
👍 regardless, that's a win
This is absolute garbage. No wonder you guys out there are shaking in your boots lately. Ignore this. It's feeding the divide. If this person believes in this so strongly, why are they hiding...
@AmandaYVR So, Amanda from Vancouver, you believe that being sexually offended against your will is fine but that is just promoting sexual harassment and the sexualization of the woman if she is not allowed to defend herself from prying guys and perverts that just take any opportunity. Next thing they will touch your genitals and you will just open your legs and that will be fine for you, right?
So... ask? Cause that's the only way to make sure the feelings are mutual.
@-Asca- no dont ask. you'll come off like a guy who doesn't know what he wants and will probably be put into the friends zone. look if you take the girl out and she never ask you for relationship advice. if she's excited and nervous. you can always tell when women are excited and nervous at the same time because they laugh at anything. If she plays with her hair a lot while your looking at her. these are all signs that you need to at least give her a kiss on her check. 8 out of 10 times when you go for the kiss on the check they turn there head and kiss you
@BamaPorter You are not doing anyone a favor by infringing on someone's private sphere without being authorized. That is just not the way it works.You don't plant your tent on your neighbor's lawn without asking him first if he agrees with it. Why should stealing a kiss from someone that does not agree be different from any other infringement on either a property or sexual integrity?
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How do you say "hey I don't want to be kissed right away" without sounding like a jerk?
@pleasestopthis 1. Before the date, you tell him that you don't kiss a guy on the first date so, when that doesn't happen, he shouldn't take it as a sign that you aren't interested. Your interest in such things generally cranks up around the third date (or whenever that happens for you.)2. During the date, you can find a time to explain that you like to take the first few dates real slow and not do anything more intimate than holding hands. And you add an explanation that you aren't shy about being affectionate but have had a few bad experiences of dealing with guys with the wrong expectations; you just want to know him a bit more before you join the saliva exchange program.3. Alternatively, at the end of the date, you take the initiative and give him a hug, and then you pull away and offer your cheek if he feels the need to kiss you.
"Saliva exchange program"If nothing else, I'm taking that phrase with me into the future. LolJoking aside, this is a pretty good run down of a way to approach kissing as a boundary with a new date. It sets up the boundary clearly not doesn't force the guy to guess. I would have appreciated an approach like this a few times with women that did not appreciate a surprise kiss.I'm the type to read into the mood and go for it, but have been mistaken a few times.
That's... probably the most useful tip I've seen related to kissing. Thanks for that :)
at least, while you're getting to know each other.
Nice choice of words "artless and unimpressve". Correct, just read the body language. She's likely already out on a date with you, right... It's not that complicated, people. Listen to dextrosis.
Lol @ " I hated that even after a year and a half".
@ChiTown33 Lol, it was bad! He liked to pretty much drool on my face too, which wasn't pleasant either.
dude this can go horribly wrong tho xD
@genericname85 yea yea I know. The second part wasn't really a serious advice. It DID work for us though and its a nice and funny memory to have xD
i feel like these days guys can't get away with this. women are too easily triggered and claim it's rape right away xD
@genericname85 depends on the woman I'd say. But yea knowing each other well enough beforehand might help aswell, I would have probably run away screaming if he did it without us being friends for years xD
yeah of course but then again he might have been deep in the friendzone xD
@genericname85 I do not really believe in the concept of the "friendzone" tbh. Or at least, not in the way many seem to do. For me, you're only in the friendzone if you've been specifically turned down with a "I only see you as a friend". Until that happens, you are just... friends.
well if he never made any attempts at taking it to more than friendship, then there's never a point where you really say "i only see you as a friend". you'd only say that if he asks you out or confesses his feelings. if he never did that and you do see them as a friend and suddenly he does that, how would that be? xD
@genericname85 well, you cannot "friendzone" someone you are just friends with unless they specifically tell or show you that they want more. Otherwise, your friends of the same gender would be considered to be in the friendzone aswell which is kind of ridiculous.
ugh -.- so you never had a guy that you KNEW would never be more a friend from your point of view then? of course your friends of the same gender are also in the friendzone except you're gay/bi and would consider them for more.
@genericname85 just because you never thought of a friend in a certain way doesn't mean that this can't change in my opinion. So in your opinion, friendship doesn't exist, since everyone you know regardless of gender, age and anything else is just someone you either include or exclude from your group of potentional partners?
no you get me wrong. i mean you get to know them as a friend and you know immediately that you're not attracted so they won't ever be more than a friend from your perspective.of course friendship exists. someone who's in my friendzone is still my friend. it just means i won't fuck them or date them xD that goes for all of my male friends and most of my female friends. the difference is that they probably don't wanna fuck me, so it's mutual.
@genericname85 but then friendzone doesn't mean anything else besides friendship xD so why would this word even exist? I do not see it as an one-sided attraction, but one-sided romantic feelings. And unless you know about these feelings you cannot know if they exist, are one sided, or are mutual. Pretty much a Schroedingers cat kind of thing xDAnd for me, the attraction to someone very well can change over the course of several years. For better or worse.
pay attention to the point of view. being in the friendzone is different depending on the point of view. so if you're all in each others friendzone, everything is fine. the problem arises, whe it's one sided. so they actually wanna fuck or romance you but you don't.so imagine 2 guy friends of yours. 1. that guy who jumped to kiss you and 2. another friend that you're not attracted to at all, cause you think he's ugly or whatever. imagine the second one did the same the first one did.
@genericname85 if the second one did it then I'd tell him that I do not feel the same for him as he does for me. At that point we can either remain friends (which would make him be in my "friendzone") or we decide that our friendship cannot work anymore and then he's neither freindzoned nor my friend.
"at that point we can either remain friends" which is the definition of the friendzone "or decide that our friendhip cannot work" which is how you usually solve those things.
@genericname85 well yes, exactly.
I believe a man knows if the girl "allow" them and knows when is the right time to do it.
Aren’t u a little old for this kinda stuff?
Nope. You'll realise one day when you're grown up.
Well in two years
I would do the same thing
That's the worst!!! Did you voiced your opinion to the man?
"Some ladies don't know what they want but it doesn't give you the right to decide for them." Honestly, and this might sound kinda non-PC, but every girl I've dated in any capacity was giving off vibes that she kinda wanted me to "decide" it for her. I'm not talking in a rapey way or anything, but it seems that lot of women don't know what they want until it's actually happening. Like, if a girl texts a guy and says "I'm going to make out with you at 8pm this evening", he'll be walking high all day and looking forward til the clock strikes 8. If a guy texts that to a girl, she'll probably find a way to avoid being alone with him come 8pm. Because she doesn't know if she wants to be kissed or not... until she's *actually being kissed*. Just my observation ofc, I don't claim to speak for all women lol
Now I don't condone forcibly pushing yourself onto someone or anything like that, but I must say it sounds so boring and turn offish.Like imagine saying 'can I kiss you' , 'can I do this' 'can I do that'.Honestly if you're a person that likes your personal space and don't want your partner to touch you without your permission just don't be in a relationship, what's even the point?And I'm pretty sure women don't like that stuff either and they wouldn't like to ask their boyfriend before touching them either. Half the fun in the relationship is random grabs, teasing etc.But whatever floats your boat.
I *love* being asked. But it's small minded to think there's only one boring way to seek and gain consent.
Bro fuck asking you should record a video of her saying yes and make her sign a paper as proof to show her agreement.
Yeah, it's freaking ridiculous
Seriously. Soon we'll have set date with a schedule, verified by the authorities, telling you what to do and when. It feels so unnatural.
@Guanfei I agree! Where is the romance gone!